Griever
by Larathia
Summary: What is the connection between Squall's ring Griever, and the Guardian Force? Completed
1. Prologue

# 

Prologue

Ultimecia spread her raven-black wings and floated above them. They had fought her for an unbearably long time, yet she seemed barely winded. 

"The most powerful GF..." she said, "You shall...SUFFER...! HAHAHA!" 

She waved one hand, trailing particles of magical light that formed into a globe she threw at their feet. From where it sank into the marble floor there rose waves of white energy, and suddenly a great beast emerged. 

It was a huge, grey, lionlike beast with red horns that formed a sort of natural crown, and huge gray-feathered wings. It roared defiance and hovered before them, natural blood-red blades protruding from its elbows as its tail, tipped with a silvery steel curved blade, lashed in readiness for the fight. 

It did not faze the warriors, who charged in with everything they had. It was a hard fight, but they had confidence they would win. 

"The GF's true power..." came Ultimecia's voice, after they had managed to greatly wound the creature. "Allow me...to show you...! Griever! Make them bleed!" 

In response, Griever crossed its powerful, gray-furred arms over its chest and roared "Shockwave Pulsar!" in a voice that sounded like three voices together. 

Rings of white energy surrounded them, forming into globes, pulling them upward into that no-place the Guardian Forces drew their power from. In Griever's world, it was like the inside of a powerful ring, a circle edged in flowing purple-white energy, and an unreachable white column at the center. From the center of the column came a sphere of dark energy that exploded, washing over the warriors, leaving them wounded on a bare rock that re-formed into the real world. 

They had survived. They continued the fight. 

Griever flew at them, swiped at them with its great claws, but did not use its tail or the blades on its arms. Occasionally it would blow a warrior's spell into nonexistence. 

Still they fought on. 

In the end, Griever fell in a flash of pyrotechnic display, roaring in pain and spewing purple light. But it did not disappear. Instead it condensed, into a dark sphere such as the one from which it had arisen. It floated there a while, losing the characteristics of the Guardian Force, looking more and more like a simple sphere. 

"I shall junction myself...Unto Griever!" came Ultimecia's voice. A white sphere appeared beside the black one, white energy arcs combining with purple. The two spheres approached and joined, resulting in a four-footed griffon-like creature with red claws, red-tipped wings, and Ultimecia's face. Periodically a silver streak called a Helix would join in the fray, but it did not matter. In the end it was defeated, and lightning split the creature in half. The lower half of the great griffon-like beast fell into the abyss. The other, the half with Ultimecia's face, fought on for a while before exploding in a shower of white sparks and a blast-wave of white energy. 

But Ultimecia was not defeated yet, and the warriors fought on... 


	2. A Game of Cards

# Chapter 1

## A Game of Cards

The cafeteria of Balamb Garden was bustling tonight. A jukebox was blaring some new dance tune in the corner, where tables had been cleared for enthusiastic cadets to have space to dance. In the opposite corner were pool tables, where older students played for whatever stakes they felt up to handling. And right in the middle was the weekly SeeD Triple Triad game. 

Squall's Posse, as others called them, (they never used the name themselves; it reminded them too much of Seifer) were right in the thick of it, playing matches so carefully planned they qualified as a spectator sport. Quistis was reigning queen of the evening, as she laid down a card that flipped over nearly every card on the board. 

"I win again, Irvine," she smiled. "When will you learn?" 

Irvine leaned back and pulled his hat over his eyes, feigning disgust. "Can't blame a guy for trying," he said, and reached over to give Selphie a hug. 

"You ought to be kinder to your friends, Quistis," said Selphie in false admonishment. "Who else is gonna play you but us?" 

"Certainly not me," commented Rinoa. "I don't play with the plus or same rules." 

Zell raised his head from where it had been resting on his arms, while he'd watched the game. "How's the people-watching going, Rin?" he asked as he stretched. 

Rinoa was sitting on an adjacent table, hugging her knees and smiling as she watched all the people in the room. "Pretty good," she said. "I like seeing so many happy people. But I don't see Squall anywhere." 

"He's not what you'd call a big socializer," commented Quistis as she gathered her cards up. "Usually he spends Saturdays in the Training Center until it's late enough that the cafeteria's mostly empty. If he's still awake enough, he'll play pool." 

Rinoa looked over at Quistis curiously. "How would you know, if you're here and he's there?" 

"I'm an expert Squall-watcher," Quistis grinned. "And he's had the routine a long time. We used to try waiting for him to come here, but he won't even stay if too many of _us_ are around." 

Rinoa thought about that, idly playing with the rings on her necklace. Her fingers traced the pattern on Griever, the ring Squall had given her, and it sent her thoughts down a new path. "You guys know about GFs, right?" she asked. 

At the unusual question, the whole group turned to face her. "Why do you ask?" inquired Irvine. 

"I was just wondering if you knew anything about Griever - the GF that Ultimecia had. SeeD has information on every GF out there, right?" 

"I thought we did," answered Quistis, looking puzzled. "I know more in that department than the rest of you, because I was an Instructor - but now that you mention it, I don't remember there being any information on Griever. Do you?" she asked, turning to the others. One by one they considered the question and shook their heads. "Why do you ask, Rinoa?" asked Selphie. "We beat him, anyway." 

Rinoa took off her necklace and showed them Squall's ring. "Did any of you get a good look at this?" she asked. Irvine laughed. 

"Squall wore the ring under his gloves, Rinoa," he said. "And none of us would be interested in a close-up of his hands in any case." But they all took a look at the ring in turn, passing it around. As each examined the ring, their smiles faded. Now, they looked worried. The carving on the ring was a good likeness of Griever. How had Squall gotten a ring depicting a GF the Garden hadn't known existed? As Zell handed the ring back to Rinoa, she asked, "Does anyone know how long he had the ring?" 

Irvine had the best memory, but shook his head along with the others. "I..._think_ he had it when he came to the orphanage," he said, face screwed up in thought. "But I can't be sure. He could have bought it anytime, I suppose. Picked it up at a shop somewhere." 

Now it was Rinoa's turn to shake her head. "No," she said. "I looked. Every place we went, I tried to find a ring like that and there aren't any. That was why I was so happy when Zell offered to make me a copy." 

"It's a good ring," said Zell. "Whoever made it knew what they were doing. It's a tough metal - there's no telling how old it could be. Why don't you ask Squall about it?" 

"Do you think he'd tell me?" asked Rinoa, looking apprehensive. 

"You've got a better chance of prying an answer out of him than we do," said Irvine. "Let us know what you find out, will you? I'm curious." 

"And I'm hungry," said Zell, changing the subject. "Who else wants hot dogs?" 


	3. Will You Love Me In The Morning?

# Chapter 2

## Will You Love Me In the Morning?

Curfew. 

Most of the rules of Garden had stayed the same, and curfew was one of them. At 11pm Garden time, all facilities except the Training Grounds were closed to cadets. SeeDs were exempt, but there were so few SeeDs in comparison to the population of Garden that the effect was always that the Garden appeared deserted. 

Rinoa, being neither cadet nor SeeD, generally preferred to just go to bed. But tonight she waited outside the training center, for Squall. 

He eventually emerged, wearing just his usual pants and a white T-shirt. The Center was kept at a tropical temperature for the monsters, so there was no need for his jacket. He looked tired, and was covered in sweat, grime, and monster ichor. LionHeart was resting casually on his shoulder. She couldn't see any cuts anywhere. It didn't take him long to notice her. 

"Hiya," he said, not unpleasantly. "Waiting for me?" 

Rinoa nodded. "I...wanted to talk to you. When the others weren't around." 

He sighed, blowing out a heavy breath. "It's late, Rinoa. Can we do this tomorrow?" 

"I waited for you," Rinoa said, a little exasperated. 

"I didn't ask you to." But as Rinoa started to look annoyed, he capitulated, raising a hand in surrender. "All right, all right. Will you let me get cleaned up first? Give me half an hour, and I'll meet you on the second floor deck, all right?" 

Rinoa smiled. "Okay," she said, smiling. She darted up to him and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, and while Squall was still standing in surprise, left the area. When she was gone, he shook his head and sighed. It was very late, and he was tired. At least it didn't take much energy to listen. 

* * * * 

Balamb Garden was over the ocean, as usual. When it wasn't needed on land, Squall preferred that it be outside the usual national boundaries. So when after a shower and a change, he came out on the second floor deck, the view was of a starry night over quiet and endless waters. Rinoa was watching the stars, but she turned when she heard his footsteps. 

"Half an hour, to the mark," she said, smiling. "You're good." 

He crossed over to her, still looking tired. "I'm out of good humor for the day, Rinoa," he said, but without anger. "What's on your mind?" 

"This." And she pulled out his ring. He looked at her in puzzlement. 

"Do you want to give it back?" he asked, a hint of hurt in his voice. For a moment, he looked vulnerable. 

"No, no, nothing like that," she said quickly. "But I wondered if you could tell me about it?" 

His scowl returned. "And this couldn't wait until morning?" 

"I think it's important, Squall," she said, almost pleading. "Did you know about Ultimecia's GF, Griever?" 

"No." 

"But you had a ring by that name, bearing its likeness? You don't think that's odd?" 

Squall shook his head. "I assumed it was a sorceress' trick, a thing pulled from my mind to fight us with - not really real." 

"Sorceresses can't imitate the powers of GFs, Squall," Rinoa said. "I have Ultimecia's powers, from Edea. I could not make up a GF like that. It was real." 

Now she had his attention, as he focused upon the problem. "I don't remember being taught of a GF like that," he said, slowly. 

"Nor do any of the others," replied Rinoa. "Where did you get the ring, and how did you know its name?" 

Squall stared down into the blackness of the nighttime sea, thinking. At last he said, "...I don't remember where I got it. I've just...always had it. But it didn't always have a name. I named it myself." 

"You did?" said Rinoa, surprised. "Why would you name it that?" 

"...I can't tell you," said Squall, pensively. 

"I think I need to know, Squall," she said gently. 

"I mean I _really_ can't," he replied. "It's tied up in things I've sworn not to talk about." 

Rinoa's eyebrows raised in surprise. "Is that so?" she said musingly. "So you won't even tell _me_?" 

Squall turned to face her, his gray eyes snapping in indignation. "And what do I have, Rinoa, if I can't keep my word?" 

Rinoa raised her hand in surrender. "All right," she said, "I trust you. Will you think about this promise you've made, though - and find a way around it if you think I really should know? This worries me, Squall. Why would you name your ring after a GF nobody knew existed - and how does your ring bear its image?" 

She touched him lightly on the shoulder, a farewell and a good night, and left him on the deck with his thoughts. He stared back into the dark waters below him. 

_It isn't an issue of trust,_ he thought. _Rinoa's earned that._ Instead it was...how would knowing the truth of Garden affect her? He wouldn't admit to it, but he needed to see her smiling as she walked down the hallways or watched the cadets in the cafeteria. Oh, she had a vague idea of how Garden was run, but she'd never seen the full story, never looked past the surface. If he told her...would it affect how she saw him? How she saw Quistis, Zell, and the others? 

Would he be able to deal with it, if it changed her? 

He'd keep his promise. He wouldn't utter a word on the specifics of Garden's functioning. But Rinoa was probably right; she'd need to know this much, so that they could then focus on what he saw as being a greater problem; the existence (or past/future existence) of a GF called Griever. She'd need to know they weren't the same, to keep herself focused. 

He wouldn't tell her - but he could show her, and let her work it out herself. 

As he walked wearily back to his quarters, he was thinking, _and no way am I going to be doing this just to see if she'll still love me afterwards. She's right, she has a right to know. _

So do I. 


	4. Taking a Tour

# Chapter 3

## Taking a Tour

The next morning, Rinoa was pleasantly surprised to find Squall waiting casually for her outsider her door, arms crossed over his chest and his face averted in thought. He looked up at the sound of her door closing, and reached out a gloved hand in greeting. He wasn't in his usual fur-collared jacket today. He was wearing his SeeD uniform, with the insignia for the Garden Commander on his shoulder. One look at the set of his features told Rinoa that she wasn't going to comment on his choice of dress. 

"I thought we might take a walk today, if you don't mind," he said. 

Rinoa smiled. "You're going to tell me about your ring?" she asked. Perhaps it was something official, which might explain the uniform. 

Squall made a brief, exasperated sound. "I can't tell you about my reasons," he said flatly, then raised his hand to forestall her protests. "I said, I can't _tell_ you." He paused. "Have you ever taken a good look around Garden?" 

"Not really," replied Rinoa. "The Library and the Cafeteria are mostly where I go, to watch the students. I remember where the other places are, though." 

He nodded, as if he'd been expecting that answer. "I can't tell you why I named that ring Griever," he repeated, "but I think I can show you. I don't know if you really want to know this." 

Rinoa smiled gently, and rested her hand against his arm. "It has to do with something important to you, doesn't it?" 

After a moment, he gave a short nod. 

"Then I want to know about it." She presented her arm, and said, "Shall we go?" 

Squall took her arm, but his expression was serious. He didn't want to be doing this. 

* * * * * 

The first stop, somewhat to Rinoa's surprise, was the Infirmary. Dr. Kadowaki greeted them with a smile and a friendly hello. 

"What brings you here?" she asked. "Did you get hurt in the Training Center yesterday, Squall?" 

He shook his head. "I'm fine," he said. "We're just taking a tour. Ok?" 

Dr. Kadowaki sent Squall a sharp look, then glanced at Rinoa. "All right, Commander," she said lightly. "I'll just be on my coffee break, if anyone asks. Think you can hold the fort that long?" 

There was a hint of gratitude in Squall's voice as he said, "Sure." Rinoa looked from one to the other, lost. It felt like a request had been made and granted - but what request? But then Dr. Kadowaki grabbed her coat and bustled out, and Squall was heading for the back of the room. There was a door there that said "Dr. Kadowaki." Quickly, Rinoa followed - was he going to go through the Doctor's files? 

He waited at the door for her. When she reached him, he said, "This is the first thing. Remember," and opened the door. 

It wasn't a doctor's office on the other side. Instead there was a very large room, brightly lit and soundproofed, with heavy, durable padding on the floor. All along the walls were beds, some of which were cribs. Here and there were cadets in the uniform of the medical corps, tending to the occupants. A few shot Rinoa a curious look and hesitated in what they were doing, but all of them pretended not to see her after taking a look at Squall. 

The room was a huge nursery, filled with children ranging from infancy to about five years old, doing a chaotic variety of different things. 

And in one corner there were a group of children playing with Carbuncle, and experimenting with its Ruby Light effect. Rinoa stared. Children no older than nine years old - for that group looked older - and the Garden had them playing with a GF? She turned to Squall, mouth open to ask him to explain. 

Instead, he ushered her back out to the Infirmary proper, and shut the door behind them. 

"Why are they letting children play with GFs?" Rinoa demanded. "Garden knows it causes memory loss!" 

Squall's eyes looked very old as he replied, "You have answered your own question, Rinoa." 

So that was why, then. Garden wanted those children to remember nothing of who they had been, or anything of their old lives. A clean slate, for SeeD training to be engraved on. She wondered briefly how Irvine had managed to slip through the net; the only one of her friends to have remembered anything of his past at all. Thinking of that, she turned back to Squall - who appeared to be waiting for her. 

"Squall," she asked in the tones of someone who is pretty sure they're not going to like the answer they're asking for, "Where did all those children come from?" 

He paused before answering, but decided that this question didn't break the boundaries of his promise. "Some are real orphans - abandoned by their parents, or their parents are dead. Mostly, that's the older ones. The younger ones are the children of SeeDs." She was not imagining the look on Squall's face. He would rather be doing almost anything than telling her about this. Then what he had said sunk in. 

_The children of SeeDs._ Quistis had made SeeD by the age of 15, and she'd seen no SeeD older than thirty, who were not members of the faculty. And she seemed to remember that you had to make SeeD by the age of eighteen, if you were going to. But there were dozens of babies in there, and dozens of young children. Quickly, she scanned the stores of the Infirmary - nope. No birth control anywhere. Was Garden trying to _breed_ future SeeDs? 

She had reached out unconsciously for Squall's hand while she was working things out, the body-warmed soft leather somehow comforting. But it made her wonder, all the same - if she stayed with Squall, would her own children end up in that bright room, forgetting their lives and their parents as they played with GFs? 

She was silent as Squall led her out of the Infirmary. She had a multitude of questions still to ask, but her mind was refusing to let her ask them - afraid, perhaps, of the answers. 

* * * * * 

The next stop on the 'tour' was the Quad. The walk there had been completely quiet; no students appeared to be willing to engage Squall in even the minimum chitchat he'd usually put up with, and Rinoa was trying to think ahead, to work out what new surprises might be in store for her. Would every section of Garden hide such altering secrets? 

Today was Sunday, so she hadn't been expecting the Quad to be holding a class. Yet there one was; a group of about thirty cadets, aged five to fifteen, all in loose-fitting white outfits. Zell was at the front, leading the class. He turned at the sound of Squall's boots on the Quad's paving stones (for all the students were barefoot). Squall squeezed Rinoa's hand, and indicated she should wait where she was. He went ahead alone to speak to Zell. 

She couldn't hear what was said, of course. But Zell's expression changed from delight at seeing his friend to a look of concern, even worry, as he looked over at Rinoa. She could tell that he wasn't certain Squall was doing something wise. After a few more moments, he stood at attention and nodded. Squall nodded back, then returned to Rinoa. 

"What was that all about?" was the first thing she asked. 

"Wait," Squall replied. 

Sure enough, the moment Zell got back to the front of the class, he took up a fighting stance and shouted, "All right, challenge! One of you fights me, and if I kick his ass inside three minutes, the whole lot of you are going on a full-tilt run around the Garden! Now, who's up for it?" 

The students argued back and forth for a few minutes, then one stepped forward. He knew he couldn't beat Zell, Rinoa could see it in his face. He was just going to offer challenge because apparently it had to be done. She turned to Squall, to ask him to explain, only to find him watching intently, noting everything about the student's stance. 

The fight was over quickly, of course. Zell was the best fist-fighter and kick boxer in Garden - which was of course why he was leading a class on it. In short order, the whole group were off and running on their assigned course. As soon as the last one was out of the Quad, Squall led Rinoa onto the main floor as if nothing had occurred. 

"What is going on, Squall?" Rinoa demanded, confused. "What just happened?" 

Squall didn't answer - just narrowed his eyes and glared at her. He quickly walked to the far side of the Quad, where a low wall kept items on the main floor from sliding off the Quad level and into the ocean. Once there, he leaned back against it, arms folded across his chest, watching her -- still looking annoyed. 

_Of course,_ thought Rinoa. _He can't answer the question if it breaks his promise._ Which meant that there was another piece of the puzzle here, that he was hoping she could see. That had to be why Zell had taken his group out of the Quad; to give her time. 

Squall was willing to provide clues that didn't involve speaking and weren't overt. So Rinoa decided to begin looking near where he was standing. It took her a few minutes to understand what Squall was trying to get across, though - and in the meantime, his annoyed expression had changed to one of amusement. Perhaps it was justified; the only odd thing she could find was a panel in the wall he was leaning against that opened into a downward chute. 

"Is this what you wanted me to see?" she asked, indicating the chute. To her vast relief, he nodded. 

_A chute? What could be so sinister about a chute?_ thought Rinoa. _Perhaps it's where it goes._

So she tried to examine it, opening the door and looking as far inside as she could. The only thing she could see was a small ledge, no higher than a quarter inch, along one side. When she threatened to overbalance and fall in, however, Squall roughly yanked her out. When she would have handed him a snappy remark for the handling, the look of terror that momentarily passed across his face stopped her. 

_So. It's lethal. How can I work out what it does, if I can't look inside and he can't tell me what's there?_

But Squall had evidently come to the same conclusion. Still looking a bit frighted - had she had that narrow an escape? - he walked to the far side of the Quad, where the low wall met up with the exterior of the Garden proper. Pressing a button that would be invisible at any distance if you didn't know to look for it, a door opened. 

Inside was a smallish closet space, stacked floor to ceiling with coffins. 

_Well, of course mercenaries die,_ thought Rinoa. _Why would Squall consider the method of burial to be a secret?_

Unless there was something unusual in the method. Something people might object to - like the nursery, raising the children of children. 

Thinking of that, she took a closer look at the coffins. She noted that they were really showpieces; plastic models embossed with the symbols of Garden and SeeD. But the truly interesting thing about them was that none of them had any foot-panels. Where the feet of the corpse would rest against the coffin was only empty air. A Garden flag, or a SeeD flag, concealed the opening. 

She checked the widths against the chute. Yes, every one of the coffins would fit. A coffin would be placed in the chute, appear to slide all the way down, but come up instead against the little ledge on the inside. Whereupon the body would keep going...where? 

Judging by the spooked look Squall had had, probably an incinerator. No muss, no fuss. But that still didn't answer why Squall would show her this in the first place. She couldn't imagine he'd find lack of earth-burial a reason to get upset; it did at least count _as_ burial, which was more than many soldiers ever got. Rinoa tried to think the way Squall would think, to work out what was wrong. 

Maybe it wasn't what she was seeing, but what she was _not_ seeing that was important. SeeD were considered masters of misdirection. What hadn't she seen, that she should have? 

Then it hit her. "Squall," she asked. "Are the students of Gardens given funerals?" 

Squall gave her a small nod, a pleased look lurking in the back of his eyes. "If the person's family requests it," was his only reply. 

Except that the majority of SeeD and cadets were orphans, she remembered, thinking back to the nursery. Even the children that were children of SeeDs would count as orphans, as the use of GF eroded their memories of family. Squall had even forgotten the existence of Ellone, the sister whose loss had driven him to become SeeD in the first place, under the Lethe-like influence of the GFs. So only the few SeeDs who had family outside Garden would ever be given funerals. The rest - and here she finally understood what bothered Squall - the rest would be _forgotten_. Worse than being other people's memories, was to be forgotten as if you never were - as if all that you had been counted for nothing. The only people likely to remember a SeeD were that SeeD's partners - but only a fallen comrade's family could request a funeral. A loophole that no one would think of or question. She looked up at Squall. "There's more, isn't there?" she asked. 

"Yes," he said. "But only one more thing today." 

Rinoa blinked. "Why? There's probably time today to see everything, the Garden isn't that big," she said. 

"I'm going to have to answer to Garden for showing you what I have," he said, sounding sad, "promise or no. I'm showing you only as much as you need to decide." 

"You're the Commander of Garden," Rinoa said. "Doesn't that mean you _run_ Garden?" 

"Come on," said Squall, tugging on her hand. "You still have to see one more thing." 

_Drat it,_ thought Rinoa. _He's not going to answer me. _

But to her surprise, he just continued around the Garden ring, and the next stop was the Dormitory. Squall turned to her, and said, "This is it." 

_Oh, really. What about the Dormitory could be worthy of an oath of silence? Ah, better not ask that,_ Rinoa thought to herself. _I've been bitten once by that question already today._

But this time it was easier, because she had the first two rooms to draw on. It wasn't what was there, it was what was _not_ there that Squall wanted her to see. And with her thoughts fresh from the Infirmary and Quad, she noted what was missing as soon as she thought to look for it. Sure enough, something that by rights _should_ have been there, wasn't. 

"No family quarters, right?" she said. 

"Right," said Squall. "You know what happens, now." 

"And what am I supposed to decide with this knowledge?" sighed Rinoa. "You said you were giving me as much as I needed to decide. Decide what?" 

"I have to go," said Squall, in a change of subject. "Will you be at the Cafeteria tonight?" 

"Squall," Rinoa pleaded. "What am I supposed to decide?" 

He responded by taking one of her hands in his gloved ones, and pressing her fingers closed over something. "The Cafeteria, tonight?" he whispered, and left her standing at the door to the dormitory rooms. 

When she opened her hand, she found that what Squall had given her was a SeeD emblem. 

Was she supposed to decide whether she wanted to become a SeeD? 


	5. Promotion and Priority

# Chapter 4

## Promotion and Priority

Rinoa waited in the Cafeteria, watching the cadets and not enjoying it as much as she used to. 

Once Squall had showed her that she should note the things that were not there, her entire perception of the cadets of Balamb Garden had changed. Instead of noting how happy the students were to have a day off to relax, she found herself noting how wild their parties were, how intimate their contact, how devoid of true intimacy or commitment. 

She understood why the ring was called Griever, now. It was Squall's nature to see consequences, as much a part of himself as the scar on his forehead. It would grieve him to see the cadets trying to reach out to one another seeking the intimacy they'd never known, and failing. It wasn't that the lives of the cadets and SeeDs were unhappy; far from it. It was simply that most of them never realized that there could be more to life; and never knowing, never strived. You couldn't even tell them there was something missing; they would lack even the understanding required to make sense of the statement. Squall had chosen to hold himself apart rather than form attachments that would not hold. 

But what did that make her friends? She looked over at Selphie and Irvine, casually friends and sometimes as casually lovers. For the first time, she wondered if that was all there would ever be for them; if the mutual knowledge that death could come at any time would prevent them from reaching out to each other with the entirety of their hearts. She thought of Zell and his pony-tailed girlfriend, so shy Rinoa had yet to learn her name. Would that pairing last? 

What of Quistis? She had been in love with Squall...or perhaps in love with what she thought Squall was. Because of that, she hadn't made any sort of attachments. At first Rinoa would have been willing to do anything to redirect Quistis' unrequited love elsewhere...but perhaps it really was better this way. Forming no attachments, however transient, Quistis could be complete in herself. 

Was she seeing things as they truly were, or was she underestimating her friends? How would she know? 

A pair of arms interrupted her thinking, closing as gently around her as if she were a bird whose bones would break if he squeezed. Only one person would do that; she turned her head to see Squall, still in his Commander's uniform, behind her. 

"You look so sad," he said quietly. "Smile for me, please?" 

She couldn't help herself; Squall was here, she smiled automatically. When she did, Squall's expression of seriousness softened, and a gloved finger stroked her cheek. Then he was gone. 

Blinking, Rinoa looked for him - only to find him some distance away, flanked by Nida and Xu. _Nida?_ Rinoa wondered. _But then who's steering Garden? Must be something important._ Indeed, both SeeDs were in full dress uniform, so that the trio stood out among the more casual dress adopted by the off-duty SeeDs and cadets. 

_Squall is in uniform, which he hates. He's got Nida and Xu with him, also in formal clothes._ Something big was going to happen, but Rinoa couldn't figure out what. She had no idea, when it came down to it, of what Squall's position actually entailed. Thankfully she was spared wondering for much longer, as the three made their way to a raised platform that later would be used as a dance floor. 

_Ah! He's got them with him for moral support,_ Rinoa smiled to herself. Squall hated being the center of attention, and would have chosen the others to give the audience something else to look at. The choice also lent extra weight to whatever he _did_ say. As soon as the three had reached the top of the platform, a wave of silence expanded outward from them as the SeeDs and cadets stopped what they were doing and paid attention. The jukebox's music died abruptly as someone silenced it by unplugging it in the middle of a song. 

"I won't keep you long," said Squall, in the strangled tones of someone who was not designed by Nature for public speaking. He raised a hand as if to forestall any wisecracks, but none were forthcoming. 

"As you know," he continued, "Headmaster Cid has retired. He spoke with me on his choice of successor, and also discussed with me his choice for a new Garden Master; the position last held by NORG. I agreed with his choices. They were contacted, and accepted the positions offered. Please congratulate our new Headmaster, Quistis Trepe, and our new Garden Master, Selphie Tilmitt." 

As the two women were singled out, Squall, Xu and Nida made a quiet exit. Rinoa felt she might have been the only one to see them go - for the whole Cafeteria had rushed to Quistis and Selphie to offer congratulations. It was evident that the Trepies were ecstatic - so much so that two of them had fainted. And Selphie had made many friends with her successful Garden Festival at FH. Figuring that Squall would probably want time to get out of the uniform he'd been trapped in all day, Rinoa headed toward the recently elevated pair to add her good wishes to the rest. 

"Good going Sef!" cheered Irvine, picking her up and whirling her around. "All that number crunching paid off, huh?" 

"Hey, can we get a bigger intramural sports budget?" asked Zell. 

Quistis was used to admiration, and took everything in good part, smiling and regal as any queen. Selphie was bouncing around as if she'd just won on a game show, even though she'd known about her elevation a day previously, when it had been offered to her. 

"Congratulations," offered Rinoa with a smile. "So what will you do with your new power? What is it that either of you actually _do_?" 

"Garden Master is the one responsible for Garden's funding," Selphie said. "I get to decide where money comes from, and what it's spent on. The Garden Festival this year is gonna be _great_!" 

"The Headmaster is responsible for the education of the cadets, and grading SeeD-candidate exams," said Quistis. "I'm back to being an Instructor." She seemed quite happy about it; there was something ingrained in Quistis that just said teacher. 

"You two were good choices, then," said Rinoa. 

"Just a moment, Rinoa," said Quistis, as she saw Rinoa turning to leave. "We - Selphie and I - need to talk to you." 

"In this?" Rinoa indicated the chaotic festivities getting back underway all around them. "You two are the stars of the evening. I don't think you'll be able to get away." 

"We won't need to," Selphie winked. "Give it half an hour, and the party will be going on full steam without us, and we can have a talk." 

Sure enough, after half an hour, most of the people present were fully into the party, and Quistis and Selphie could rejoin their friends without threat of interruption right in the middle of it. 

"We know what Squall showed you," began Quistis hesitantly. "He spoke with us about it this afternoon." 

"Yes?" said Rinoa politely. 

"I hope you'll understand that he should not have done so, and that you should not speak of it to anyone outside Garden." 

"What, that Garden robs children of their families and memories, teaches them to kill, and makes sure they're forgotten when they die?" said Rinoa, annoyed. "I wonder who I would be suddenly inclined to talk about _that_ to." 

Selphie looked hurt. "It isn't as bad as it looks, Rinoa," she said. "Squall has always had a harsh view of Garden's policies." 

"I wonder why?" replied Rinoa sweetly. 

"That's enough, Rinoa," said Quistis sternly. "I understand you'll want to agree with Squall, but we'd appreciate it if you use your own mind this time." 

"All right, then," said Rinoa. "What have I misinterpreted?" 

"Actually...nothing," said Selphie. "But you haven't got the whole story, either. It _does_ make a difference." 

"Supposing you tell me the whole story, then?" 

"We can't," said Selphie, somewhat sadly. "You're not a SeeD." 

_So I was right,_ thought Rinoa. _He did mean 'enough to decide if you want to be SeeD'._

"Would you use these things against me, if I were to become a SeeD?" Rinoa asked. "Would you wait for me to forget my family - if I had children, would you take them from me?" 

"You're a special case, Rinoa," said Quistis. "You know more about SeeD than anyone not SeeD is supposed to - and more, you're a Sorceress. If we were to hope for anything, it would be that you have no children at all - but that would be foolish of us. We would not separate any children from you; it is in our interests, as well as yours, to see that any Sorceress children you might have grow up with all the support a parent can provide. We would not see another Sorceress War." 

_All the support a parent can provide._ "And what of Squall, if he stays with me? What of me, if I become SeeD?" 

Selphie was not looking happy about this. "Eventually...Squall will have to decide where his loyalty lies. To you, or to SeeD. Unless you become SeeD. Then, it will be for you to put aside personal desires and work toward what is best for the world." 

"And what would that be?" Rinoa's eyes were starting to glow with sorcerous power. It took a strong effort of will to stop the effect. 

"To prevent another Sorceress War. To make sure that the means are there to fight Ultimecia when she arises, in the future. For all we know, it's only the actions of the SeeD who died fighting her in her own era that allowed us to defeat her." 

"And what personal desires would you want me to put aside?" 

Quistis and Selphie exchanged glances. "Any that we ask you to," Quistis eventually replied. "We only ask that you recognize SeeD as being higher than yourself." 

Rinoa thought about that. They were her friends, she didn't think they'd ask more of her than they had to. Still...."How long do I have to decide?" 

The two women shared another look. This time it was Selphie who said, "Sundown tomorrow, I think. We need to get this settled." 

Rinoa nodded agreement. "Sundown tomorrow, then," she said. "Where should I go, when I'm ready?" 

"The Headmaster's room, under the bridge," said Quistis. "We still have a lot to do, so we'll be there." 

"Until then, then," said Rinoa, and left the party. It hadn't been much fun anyway. Not without Squall. 

* * * * * 

She found Squall back on the second floor deck, in his old familiar clothes. The sea breezes were playing with his hair as the Garden sat still on the waters. He turned quickly when he heard the door open, but relaxed when he saw it was Rinoa. 

"Were you expecting attack?" Rinoa asked, surprised at his behavior. 

"Maybe." 

"Why?" 

There was a long pause, then, "SeeD has a habit of not losing," he said. 

"You thought your friends would turn against you?" asked Rinoa. "Squall, they're your _friends_." 

He turned to face her. "They're SeeD first, Rinoa." 

"You didn't break your word." 

"Technically. I know what I did." 

"Then why did you do it? You didn't have to." 

Another long pause. Squall seemed to find the lapping of waves against the exterior of the Garden fascinating. 

"Because you're the only one here not SeeD. Not even a cadet. I could tell you felt...out of place. And it would be in SeeD's interest to see you stayed that way. You'd join as a cadet, and by the time you knew the important things, SeeD would be so much a part of you it wouldn't make a difference." 

"And you wanted it to make a difference to me?" 

"You're a Sorceress, Rinoa. You'd never use GFs, you don't need to. You can use magic and forget nothing. SeeD would want you to use GFs." 

And forget her family. She couldn't see where forgetting General Caraway would make a big difference in the world, though. "What about that bothers you, Squall?" 

"If you hadn't known how SeeD deals with families, SeeD might have had sorceresses to raise." 

That was assuming rather a lot, Rinoa thought. Squall evidently loved her company, even as he loved her, but things had not progressed that far as yet. _He'd have to take his gloves off first,_ she thought with a repressed smile. And she couldn't imagine trying with anyone else. Still, it pleased her that he'd thought of it. 

"I think they recognize that you wouldn't want to raise a Sorceress as a mercenary," she said. "But I take your point." And she reached out and took his hand. A smile flickered across his face, as he moved to enfold her in his arms. 

"I wanted you to know, before you were made to choose," he said. 

"They're going to want to know where you stand, too," Rinoa said. 

"With you," Squall said simply, but he didn't sound entirely happy about it. SeeD, however flawed, had been his life. 

Rinoa slipped out from his embrace, and smiled to smooth the confused look that passed across his features. "Thanks, Squall," she said. "But for now, I think we need to get some rest." 

He nodded, and they left for the dormitory, heading each for their own rooms. 


	6. A Sleepless Night

# Chapter 5

## A Sleepless Night

Squall stretched out on his bunk, his hands behind his head, staring blankly at the white ceiling. He hadn't wanted quarters in the faculty wing, even though he held the title of Commander. All he'd ever wanted was a SeeD's room; a room for one person, with just room enough for one bed, one study desk, one shelf, one chair. Having gained that, he had neither need nor desire for anything more; certainly not the spacious accommodations Garden gave to faculty members. 

There was a restlessness in him tonight, but it was coupled with a feeling that careful thinking was needed. Usually when he felt like this he'd head down to the training center and get both feelings out of his system, but not tonight. He had a strong suspicion Quistis and Selphie had given Rinoa an ultimatum - which would mean she, too, would be awake. And if she heard him about, she'd want to join him. 

He was not in the mood to share his thoughts, not even with Rinoa. He'd noted her almost-smile when he'd mentioned Sorceress children. 

He could just leave the decision up to Rinoa. She could decide to join SeeD, and there wouldn't be any need for him to worry over anything. But he could not, _could not_, leave something important to his own life up to someone else. 

She could decide _not_ to join SeeD. And then he would need to know exactly where he stood, and the sooner the better. 

He was raised and trained to fight. SeeD was comprised of the best fighters on the planet. If he left, what could he do? _Were_ there other options? He couldn't see himself as a shopkeeper or...whatever else people in towns did. Ha! How could he be a simple villager when he had absolutely no idea how they spent their days? 

Maybe he could do as Laguna had once done, and eliminate monsters that ventured too close to, or into, villages like Winhill. It was at least fighting, something he knew how to do. 

But it was also meaningless. Anyone could do the job. And it was endless; there would always be more monsters. He did not have Seifer's need to do something 'big'. But he _did_ need to know that what he was doing filled a need, had a purpose. 

He could be a soldier...probably he had the skills to be an officer...in any army of the world. 

But he didn't like the idea of using his skills solely against other people. He could, and had, killed soldiers when the need arose, but he just didn't have the faith that soldiers seemed to need. Soldiers needed to believe that their country was the greatest on earth, that they were defending a just and righteous nation. To Squall, no one nation was ever completely in the right, or completely in the wrong. It was always a matter of viewpoint and circumstance. 

Perhaps he could work with resistance movements, such as Rinoa's group in Timber. 

But could places like Timber ever really be free? It was a small town in an excellent geographical location. He could (and now that he came to think of it, probably _should_; the contract with Rinoa's group was still unfilled) work to free it from Galbadian control, but what of that? The moment the resistance factions disbanded in victory, Galbadia would just roll right over it again. And if Galbadia did not, Dollet probably would. Ultimately, it was as meaningless as fighting village monsters; Timber probably would always be a vassal state; the question would only ever be which state. 

All his options led him back to SeeD, which did at least have a worthy ultimate goal. But that worthy goal was the defeat of evil sorceresses, and Rinoa was a sorceress. Not an evil one, no. But she was a sorceress, and it was difficult to explain to SeeDs outside the small circle who knew Rinoa that the only Sorceress currently alive was not a viable target for their lifetime of training. 

SeeD would want to control Rinoa, or at least contain her. Try as he might to think ahead, he knew he would not be able to say with certainty where he would stand on that until the issue came to a head. He could not say in advance, with any certainty, that he would side with Rinoa; neither of them knew whether Rinoa's new powers had side effects that might prove too much for her. Nor could he say that he would definitely side with SeeD; there were enough SeeDs who were willing to kill Rinoa first and then wonder about the justice in doing so, for Squall to be hesitant in declaring his loyalty. 

It all came down to a series of ifs; 

_If_ Rinoa went mad with the Sorceress' power, he would have to side with SeeDs against her. It hurt even to think about that, but he knew that that would be what he would do. Better to hate himself for killing the one he loved, than to forbear and hate himself for killing the world. It was quite possible that in the end he would not be able to bring himself to kill Rinoa. But he would have to try. 

But if she did not go mad, if she kept control of her powers, he would fight the whole of Garden to protect her...and worry afterward about what he would do with his life. 

If Rinoa joined SeeD - if she was _allowed_ to join SeeD - his problem was solved. If she did not, at least he would have a basic idea of where he stood. He knew what he would say to Quistis and Selphie, at least on that point. 

The other thing they were going to be talking to him about - why he'd revealed so much to Rinoa - that would prove harder. 

_Why did I do it?_ he thought to himself. _She could've stayed here forever and never noticed; she's a people watcher, but she doesn't watch what they're doing. Was it just to force this situation?_

He gave up pretending to sleep; he swung his legs over the side of the bunk and sat up, running a hand through his hair. 

_SeeD would have asked Rinoa to join, I know they would. She's too good a fighter to lose, she's already here in Garden and friends with SeeDs, and having the only Sorceress in the world right here where everyone can keep an eye on her is a bonus. They don't even have to train her; a good thing since teaching a sorceress how SeeDs kill sorceresses wouldn't be a good idea._

He stood up, and began unconsciously to pace across his room, bare feet making no noise against the mat. 

_Do I want SeeD to have that kind of hold on her? _

Did I hope she would make my own choices easier? 

I guess...I guess what I was hoping was that she'd be horrified. Or disgusted. Or angry. I was hoping that by showing her the worst, she wouldn't want to stay, that she would think less of SeeD...less of us...less of me. 

Or was I hoping she could love me anyway, even knowing the truth of what goes on? 

God, I'm so confused. I can't even tell what I want her to feel. 

Do I want her not to love me? Life would be a lot easier if she didn't. But less interesting. And so empty...I don't know if I can go back to that. 

He sat back down on the bunk, stretched out again on the mattress. 

_Well, that's one thing I can think about all night and it won't net me anything. Rinoa will feel how she feels. I...I don't think I can risk showing her anything else. She looked so sad tonight. Let the others tell her the rest, if they want to. I answered her question so that's the end of it. I don't want Rinoa to be sad. _

Besides, we've still got that GF to find. 

Squall closed his eyes, and quickly fell asleep. 

* * * * *

Rinoa stayed in her room only long enough to know that Squall had gone. Then she quietly opened her door and left the Dormitory, grateful as she almost never was that her quarters in the guest wing were on the opposite side of the dormitory from Squall's in the SeeD section. 

Another thing she was grateful for was that guest quarters were much nicer than those given to the people who lived here. Guests were possible customers, and Garden treated possible customers very well indeed. But she didn't want to think about Garden and SeeD while surrounded by the things she might have to give up. 

Rinoa strolled slowly around the great Ringway that linked all the sections of Balamb Garden. It was well-designed, so that a large number of people could get where they were going with a minimum of fuss. As she passed the Cafeteria, the sounds of the celebration appeared to be fading somewhat. She wondered for a moment when Selphie and Quistis would go to bed; it was certain the others wouldn't go to bed until those two did. Irvine certainly wouldn't. 

Did she want to become a SeeD? The answer wasn't as simple now as it had been only yesterday. She was the only current guest of Balamb Garden; the guest wing was entirely hers, and at night it echoed in its emptiness. During the day, she could watch any of the cadets' classes, or read in the Library, but she couldn't speak to her friends. SeeDs were not encouraged to be idle; any that were not on a mission were generally assigned some task around Garden, or placed on a committee. She didn't really know the specifics of what SeeD did; even her friends were prone to giving noncommittal, evasive, or incomplete answers when she asked. Zell was a refreshing exception; she knew that he led the Inter-Garden Kickboxing team, and that he taught cadets unarmed combat. He was the only one willing to show her anything she wanted of his work; as a result of six months of relative quiet, she now knew a great deal more of unarmed combat than she used to. 

Squall was right; she would have leapt at the chance to become SeeD. To fit in, to have purpose, to _belong_. She always felt out of place around the others; though she cared for them, she never felt part of them unless she was with Squall. Everything was all right when he was around. The trouble was, as Commander it seemed he had more to do than any of the others. Perhaps now that Quistis and Selphie were working with him, he'd have more time to spend with her. 

Selphie was Garden Master; she'd said that meant she controlled where money came from and what it was spent on.   
Quistis was Headmaster; she'd said that meant she was the one who laid out courses and oversaw the education of cadets.   
Squall was Commander. What did he do? If it didn't have to do with money, or the cadets, then what? 

The only thing left was SeeD. He must command the SeeD. And that would mean that somewhere, something exciting was going on that they weren't telling her about. He'd been very busy lately. Though...perhaps that was only because he'd been doing all three jobs. She mentally filed that away; she'd have to see if he had more free time now, but it would be something she wouldn't be able to know for certain for a few days. 

But even so, if Squall's job was to command the SeeD, she had nothing to fear. He would _never_ abuse that power over her. 

Would Squall always command the SeeD? She knew he didn't like having other people's problems, though he was very good at dealing with them (or more accurately, having them dealt with). He made an able Commander; she could easily understand Cid's decision to give the job to Squall. It was just that...somehow...she knew Squall didn't actually _want_ the job. And there was a niggling suspicion that he wouldn't put up with a job he didn't want much longer than he had to. She couldn't count on Squall's position to keep SeeD honest. 

And that was the real question, wasn't it? Could she trust SeeD? Could she leave it, if things soured? She'd never heard of an ex-SeeD. Failed cadets like Seifer, yes. But nobody who became SeeD ever left it. Quistis and Selphie wouldn't leave their positions, Rinoa was sure. Both had been very happy at their elevation. She didn't know either woman all that well, but her gut told her they were trustworthy and Rinoa had always found that instinct to be accurate. 

That gut instinct told her that Quistis, Selphie and the others might like her, but a whole lot of other SeeDs didn't. She saw the looks in the halls sometimes; they knew the purpose of SeeD was to keep the world safe from sorceresses. They couldn't understand why those in charge let a sorceress roam free right in the halls of Balamb Garden. Those at the top might like and trust Rinoa - but people in positions of power who made unpopular decisions could be overthrown. She knew that implicitly; it had been her life's work to overthrow Deling of Galbadia. 

Rinoa looked around her; the Library was just coming up on her walk around the Ringway; she'd made more than a full circuit, and still didn't really have an answer. She decided to head in and pick a book; even if she wasn't reading it, she'd attract less attention if she looked like she was. 

Just her luck to stumble across a couple of cadets in a state of serious undress in the farther stacks. Apparently late night reading wasn't all that popular an occupation. She left them undisturbed - they were so distracted she doubted they even registered the intrusion - and picked a different corner. 

She didn't have to stay here, she knew. Irvine, Zell, and the others were her friends, but so were Watts and Zone. Timber wasn't free yet; she still had a job to do -- though the current state of disarray Galbadia was in meant she could probably take her time. It was only for Squall that she really stayed here in a Garden full of people trained to kill her. 

She put a hand to Griever and her mother's wedding band, safe on their chain around her neck. She traced the leonine carving on Griever with her finger. She'd never gotten a copy from Zell; this was Squall's ring. And despite knowing the origin of its name, she could not help but think of it as an unsolved mystery. The lion-like symbol suited Squall's heart if not his style. And he couldn't remember where it had come from. Did that mean he had had it a long time? None of the others could remember how long he'd had it, not even Irvine. But they all made use of guardian forces now, and such a minor thing would easily slip the minds of people who never used GFs at all. Zell could only say that the metal was very hard and the workmanship uncommonly good. 

A GF had hidden inside a cursed lamp and Solomon's Ring. What if a GF was hidden right here, in _this_ ring? 

Well, if that were the case, her Sorceress powers should be able to detect it, if she looked. 

Rinoa unclasped the chain from around her neck and drew Griever off the chain before putting it back on. She weighed the ring in her hand. Yes, it was heavier than other rings she had, but it _was_ a man's ring. They tended to be larger and heavier; men were much rougher on their jewelry than women. She raised Griever so that she could clearly see the carving on the band, and tentatively reached out with her Sorceress' powers. She'd start by trying to identify the metal; that should be safe enough. 

Her eyes began to glow as she mentally reached out to the ring in her hand. In the light of her eyes, it almost seemed like the ring glowed too. Gently, carefully - she was still new at this sort of thing - she touched the metal with her gift. 

The last thing she saw was bright white light. Then something threw her back, her head hit something _very_ hard, then darkness... 


	7. Wake Up Call

# Chapter 6

## Wake Up Call

Slowly, the world came back. Rinoa was not sure at the moment whether this was a good thing, as it appeared to be mostly dark, heavily blurred, and contained a massive headache. She blinked once or twice, in the hope that things might clear up a bit. To her great relief, they did. 

"Welcome back," said a voice, and through its calm she could hear happy relief. When her eyes focused, the dark resolved into Squall's face, which was only inches from her own. He moved back quickly as she looked startled. He was holding one of her hands, she realized...and wasn't wearing his gloves. The oddity helped her focus, and she realized the reason he wasn't wearing his gloves was that he'd apparently gotten dressed very quickly. His hair was in disarray, and his clothes rumpled. She sat up on her elbows and took a look around. She was in the Infirmary. 

"Do you remember what happened?" Squall asked. "We have the cadets' report, but I want to know how much you remember." 

"Cadets?" Rinoa asked, confused. Then she remembered - there _had_ been a couple of them necking in the corner. "Oh," she said. "Your ring...I tried to touch it with my power. I'm not sure what happened after that...something hit me..." she felt the chain on her neck; the ring was not there. "What happened to the ring?" And she moved to get up, but Squall forestalled her. He held up one hand; the ring was back on his finger. 

"You're not touching this again," he said firmly. "I'll get Zell to make you a copy." 

"But..." Rinoa almost pleaded. "You gave it to me. And it's dangerous." 

"To you, maybe," he said. "It's never tried to throw _me_ through three bookcases, and I've had it a lot longer than you. I would never have given it to you if I'd thought it was dangerous. I'm going to hold on to it until we know what's going on." 

Rinoa blinked. "Three bookcases?" 

Squall nodded. "According to the cadets' report, they were studying when there was a bright light off in the far corner of the library. Which subsequently knocked over three very large bookcases. They went to investigate and found you, clutching the ring, in the wreckage." His voice was dead as he continued, "You were covered in blood...all over your head and back. Something had thrown you into the bookcases...almost threw you through them." 

"Those two weren't studying," was Rinoa's first remark. Then she blinked, and looked down at herself; there were no wounds, no blood. "Um, how long have I been here?" 

"About eight hours that I know of," he said. "When they found you, they called Dr. Kadowaki. She got you settled and then called me." There was a hint of something in his voice that said he hadn't liked being the last to know. 

"Well, I seem to be fine now," she said, and swung herself into a sitting position. Squall stood up also, crossing his hands over his chest. 

"You're not going anywhere until the doctor clears you," he said flatly, almost angrily. When she looked at him in surprise, he said quietly, "You don't know what you looked like when I came here." 

"But I seem to be fine now," Rinoa protested. And indeed, the headache had gone, as had the fuzzy vision. "Sorceresses heal quickly, Squall." 

"I know," he responded, still in that quiet intense voice. "If they didn't, you would be dead." 

Rinoa was spared thinking of a reply by the entrance of Dr. Kadowaki. "You're looking pretty good this morning," she said with a smile. "Just let me check on a few things, and you'll probably be free to go." 

Rinoa sat obediently through the routine exam, Squall standing guardian by the door. When the doctor finished, she was cleared to leave. "Sorceresses may heal quickly, Rinoa," Dr. Kadowaki finished, "but perhaps next time you'll do your experiments outside, or at least somewhere safer than the Library, ok?" 

Rinoa nodded gratefully and almost bolted for the door, but slowed when she realized Squall was going to follow her. 

"Squall, really, it's ok," she said. "I don't think the ring will hurt me again." 

"No," he said. "It won't. But what did it do? What happened?" 

"Just what I told you. I tried to touch it, and something happened." 

"What sort of something? Did it attack?" 

Rinoa thought about that. "No," she said finally. "I don't think it was an intelligent reaction. I don't _think_ there's a GF in there. Whatever's in your ring...is too unsophisticated for that. It only reacted when magic was used on it." 

Squall thought about that for a bit as they walked, then asked, "What sort of magic did you use on it?" 

"Scan. Not anything threatening. I was just trying to identify the metal." 

"It's platinum," Squall replied. "I checked that a long time ago. _I_ asked a jeweler." There was a hint of laughter in his voice, teasing Rinoa for not trying a simpler approach. 

They were almost back to the Dormitory. By the sound of it, the cadets were just waking up. For once she was grateful that there were no others in the Guest wing besides herself. Neither she nor Squall would present a reassuring picture today; her clothes were probably covered in blood down the back, and Squall looked like a man who'd gotten dressed in thirty seconds in total darkness. Which, now she came to think on it, he probably had... 

"Squall," she said, "were you there...the whole time?" 

"Of course," he said simply, as if surprised she would ask. "Why wouldn't I be?" 

Rinoa walked quietly for a few steps, then asked, "What...did it look like? When the cadets told you what they saw?" 

Squall didn't answer for a while; they'd reached the Dormitory. When they got to her quarters, he waited in the doorway while she looked in the full-length mirrors her suite provided. The medics had cleaned her up well; there was no blood in her hair or on her body. But they weren't tailors; the back of her blue outfit had been torn to ribbons down to the waist, and was dark red with blood. 

"You were...pale...what I could see of you," came Squall's voice. "Your breathing was so shallow...I kept my fingers on your wrist to know you were still alive." His voice hardened as he continued, "The cadets tried to feed me some bullshit about how you must have gone crazy and used your power on the bookshelves and made them fall on you." 

Rinoa did not need to ask how he had taken that story; the tone in his voice did not bode well for the future of those cadets. "They were having some fun in the back corner, Squall," she said as she got out of her ruined outfit, noting as she did that her back was free of wound or scar. "They probably didn't want to get in trouble for that and being out past curfew." She selected a new outfit and got dressed. 

"They've been sent to Quistis for discipline," came Squall's reply from the doorway. 

"Hmm..." responded Rinoa. "How's that going to go? Seifer, Fujin, and Raijin are gone, so I don't know who's running the Disciplinary Committee now." 

"Quistis will name a new Committee," was Squall's logical reply, "or she'll take care of it herself. I knew I probably shouldn't." 

Thinking of Quistis, Rinoa was reminded of the others. "Um, Squall," she began hesitantly. "Do the others know about...last night...yet?" 

She emerged from the inner room, and was rewarded with a nod of acknowledgement from Squall on her much more presentable appearance. "No," he said. "Selphie and Quistis were still in the Cafeteria with Irvine, and Zell had gone back to his quarters. I thought they needed their rest...it wasn't as if they could have done anything." _Any more than I could have,_ Rinoa heard in his voice. "But you're going to have to tell them." 

Rinoa sighed. "Yes, you're right of course," she said. "But I'm not going to look forward to it." She brightened. "But we do need to get you looking the part of Commander again, don't we?" 

Squall scowled; he hated the title. "Not you, Rinoa," he said. "Not from you." 

Rinoa put on a wide-eyed, innocent look and said, "You'd rather I call you my Squally-bumpkin in front of the others, then?" At his momentary look of shock, she laughed. "Oh, don't fuss. I wouldn't do that to you. But you really do need to get dressed. Properly dressed, I mean." 

"As soon as the cadets have gone," he replied, making Rinoa realize that the reason he'd been so forthcoming was to kill time until the hallways were clear. She shook her head in wonder. 

"And here I thought it was just the pleasure of my company keeping you here," she teased. 

"Do you know what you're going to say to the others?" Squall said in a change of subject. 

"Oh, yes," Rinoa smiled. "I'll tell them I'll join SeeD on two conditions. The first is that I go where you go. Always; no exceptions." 

"Rinoa.." Squall tried to interrupt, but Rinoa wouldn't let him. 

"The second is that they finish the job they're contracted to do and free Timber." 

Squall sighed. "I'll agree if the others will. You're a special case, so we all three have to agree." 

"And you wouldn't alone?" Rinoa asked. "Why?" 

"There are missions where one alone is better and safer than two," he said. 

"Then you just won't get those missions," said Rinoa firmly. "I'm not staying behind when you go on a mission, Squall. Either I go with you as a SeeD, or I go as the Sorceress." 

He turned his head. "The halls are clear," he commented. "I'll see you at the Headmaster's office in about an hour." And with that he turned to go. 

Rinoa put her hand to her necklace, where only one ring hung now. Just for a moment, she felt very, very alone. 

* * * * * 

When Rinoa entered the former Headmaster's chambers on the third floor, she found all her friends already there, waiting. Irvine and Zell were playing cards near the door, killing time, and Squall, Quistis and Selphie were having a discussion near the windows. 

"Heya," waved Zell. "Something's come up, I guess." 

"Any idea what?" asked Rinoa. 

"We were hoping _you_ could tell _us_," drawled Irvine. "Been hearing all _sorts_ of interesting things since I woke up this morning. Rumor has it that you attacked two cadets in the library last night, throwing bookcases at them." When Rinoa looked indignant, he laughed. "Oh, don't get upset. I don't know what happened, but I knew that couldn't be the truth - or at least not all of it." 

"It isn't," said Squall, joining them. "Put away the cards, we've got things to do." 

Zell obediently gathered up the cards while Irvine walked over to Selphie and gave her a hug. "And now my wonderful Garden Master is going to say what's going on, right? I can't handle the suspense!" And he put on an air of anxious anticipation. Selphie giggled and gave him a playful swat. 

"Knock it off, you clown," she laughed. "Squall's right, we have things to do." 

"We decided it would be best to work this out as a group," began Quistis, "even though Squall, Selphie and I could make the necessary decisions on our own. Here's what's going on." She pulled out a sheaf of paper, and laid it on the table where the cards had been. 

"First - the rumors of Rinoa going crazy last night are unfounded. You knew that already, but we need to quash this one before the other SeeDs get too nervous around her. As best we can ascertain, there is a ... force, a _something_, inside Squall's ring that doesn't want to be tampered with. When Rinoa tried to touch it with her Sorceress' magic, it reacted violently, throwing her into several bookcases. This is not something we want circulated any more than rumors of Rinoa's insanity." 

Rinoa looked relieved; she'd been spared having to say it herself. 

"I'd say not," said Irvine. "I knew the kid had to be wrong, but...where's the ring now?" 

Squall held up one gloved hand; the outline of a ring was just visible underneath it. "I've got it. It's never bothered me. Zell, if I lend it to you, can you make Rinoa a copy like you said?" 

Zell grinned. "Oh, sure. Been dying to put that metalwork class the disciplinary committee forced me to take to some use. Sure it won't bite me?" 

Squall shook his head. "Just don't use any magic on it." 

Quistis said, "How will we dispel the rumors?" 

Irvine again spoke up, this time saying, "Oh, leave that to me. I know how these things go, I'm friends with half the girls in Garden and I know how they gossip. I can kill this by nightfall, and change it to whatever you like." 

Rinoa smiled. "The two cadets were necking in the library," she said with an evil grin. The others, excepting Squall, chuckled. 

Quistis said, "I guess that falls to me to take care of. Second thing; we've gotten a message from Galbadia requesting SeeD's assistance in quelling an uprising in Timber." 

Rinoa looked shocked. "You can't take that contract." The others nodded in agreement, their faces grim. But Quistis didn't falter. 

"That wasn't the interesting part of the request," she said. "Look at the photos they've taken of the rebellion's leader." She pulled out some photos and laid them on the table. Every one of the group understood what she meant when they saw them. 

Seifer. 

Zell smacked his fist into his palm, an eager grin on his face. "He's up to trouble," he said. "Send me; I owe him a few good ones." 

"But he's working to free Timber," Rinoa told Zell. "We shouldn't stop him. SeeD was hired to free Timber." 

Selphie held out a sheet, saying, "The contract specifies three SeeD and no more will be sent. I'd say Seifer's doing our job for us; he's not SeeD." 

Squall said nothing, resting his chin on his folded hands as he studied the pictures. Seifer had been taking out Galbadian forces with admirable ease, if the snapshots were anything to go by. Fujin and Raijin looked happy to be at his side. But even so...they were only three...even with the backing of the many resistance factions in Timber. They would eventually be captured, and probably killed, through sheer force of numbers if nothing else. He raised his head and looked to Quistis. "How many cadets are qualified for the field exam this year?" he asked. 

Catching his drift, Quistis smiled. "About a hundred, I think," she said. "Yes, that would work very well. The contract only mentions SeeD - cadets wouldn't count, would they?" 

"Nope!" cried Selphie with a wide grin. "And, we can claim reparations in foodstuffs instead of cash which would solve both our problems and Timber's. Right, Rinoa?" 

"Um," quavered Rinoa, "Timber doesn't have a whole lot besides trees." 

"Furniture, then," replied Selphie with a wave. "Wood furniture would be very welcome." 

"Do we have to increase the payment?" 

Selphie calmed down, giving Rinoa a serious look. "Yes, you would. Garden isn't what you'd call self-sufficient. Hiring out SeeDs and cadets is the only source of income Garden has. I can give you a good rate, but if we don't get paid that affects the cadets badly - not to mention setting a bad example to other nations. We can't really play favorites. The survival of the Gardens is dependent on their neutrality. At least financially. The prices we set are the same for everyone - IF we take the mission." 

Rinoa sighed. They were her friends and she loved them, but sometimes the fact that they were mercenaries hit her hard. Of course Selphie was right; she would hate to think of Galbadia hiring SeeD at cut rates. She had hired SeeD. She could keep the contract as-is, or increase the commitment and pay more. 

"I think...I _might_ have the required cash...I haven't spent much..." 

Squall looked over at Selphie. "Take it out of my wages, Selphie. As long as the numbers add up it doesn't matter. I don't go shopping much, or live large. There should be enough there." 

"I can help too," said Zell. "Anything, just tell me I get to bust Seifer one." 

Irvine tapped Zell gently on the shoulder. "Um, if we do this, we're on the same side as Seifer, Zell. Just thought I'd clue you in on that." 

Selphie nodded to the group. "Yeah, I know how much you guys have squirreled away. It'll cover the books. You've got your field exam, Quistis. But what are we going to do about the three SeeDs we're contracted for? And Seifer, Fujin and Raijin?" 

Squall leaned back, arms crossed over his chest, staring at the ceiling as he thought. "SeeD are mine to dispatch," he commented. "Zell, you're in charge. Pick two SeeDs you can count on - and don't get in Seifer's way. The three of you will use the cadets to free Timber. While you're at it see if you can find out what Seifer's up to." 

"Alll RIIIIGHT!" shouted Zell, jumping up and starting a shadowboxing routine. "A chance to get outta here and do some damage in a good cause! I've been going stir crazy around here it's been so quiet." 

Squall put one hand to his ear in an attitude of pain at Zell's noise. "I could tell," he said. The others laughed. 

"That's one of your conditions met, Rinoa," said Quistis. "The last thing on today's agenda is what to do about Squall's ring, now it seems to be more than just jewelry." She turned to Squall. "You don't remember anything of where it came from?" When Squall shook his head, she continued, "and the rest of us don't know for sure either. But we need to know. Should we contact Ellone?" 

Squall shook his head. "She doesn't like to send people into the past without a good reason. It's very draining on her. And since we don't know where it came from, we wouldn't know whose past to visit - or when, or even whether Ellone would know them." 

"We could just visit your past, Squall, until we see where you got it," commented Quistis. 

"No," Squall said, annoyed at having to repeat himself. "If I've had it all my life, it could take days for her to find that out. And she'd wear herself out with that many trips to the past." 

Quistis shrugged. "Then that leaves only one course open to us," she said as though she had known perfectly well it would come to this. "Squall, you are temporarily relieved of command until this mystery is solved. Further, until it is, you are to junction no GFs; if it's something you can remember, it is in everyone's interest that you do so. Xu will hold your position until you are ready to return." 

Everyone else, except Selphie, was shocked. Squall, relieved of command? But they could do that. That was why there were three people in charge of Garden; there would always be a decisive vote. Squall's expression was unreadable; Rinoa couldn't tell whether he'd even guessed this would happen. He sat as though carved from marble; unchanging, emotionless. 

Quistis turned to Rinoa. "Your second requirement is hereby met; you're going with him. Without GFs, Squall will need your magical skills. Welcome to SeeD, Rinoa." 

Rinoa was rocked. She was a SeeD, just like that. Under Xu, and not Squall. And while all of the friends were surprised, none moved to object; they knew as well as she did that whatever was in Griever needed to be identified and understood - and that if the answers lay in Squall's memory, it was best if he didn't use GFs. But it still felt as though the world had been turned upside down. 

As they all filed out, meeting concluded, Quistis laid a hand on Rinoa's shoulders. "A moment, if you please," she said. 

Rinoa followed her back into the room, closing the door. "Did it have to be this way, Quistis?" she asked. "Couldn't he have solved it while still serving as Commander?" 

Quistis shook her head. "That thing is dangerous until it's understood, Rinoa," she said with a voice tinged with regret. "Squall isn't the sort of person who does well if kept indoors too long, any more than Zell is. He gets lost in his own thoughts too easily. He needed to get out - Selphie and I agreed on that. And he needs to spend some time with you, also. He's your Knight, even if he's not sure what that entails. And you...you need to get away from Garden for a while too. At least until the bookcase incident dies down." 

Quistis squeezed Rinoa's shoulder. "But that wasn't what I wanted to tell you," she said. 

"Then what is?" asked Rinoa. 

"I wanted to tell you...if he doesn't come back, don't even try coming back yourself," she said. "We'll still be here for you...but the rest of SeeD will not." 

Rinoa nodded sadly. She knew just how true that was. "Either both of us, or neither of us," she said to Quistis. "If he goes down, it's because I'm already dead." 

And without another word, Rinoa left the office, closing the door behind her. 


	8. Teacher and Student

# Chapter 7

## Teacher and Student

When Rinoa reached her rooms she was surprised to find Squall waiting for her, leaning against a wall in his usual meditative pose. This time, he was deep enough in his musings that she was almost within arm's reach before he noticed her - even though she was the only other person in the hall. 

He was the only person she knew who had a whole set of frowns; when she surprised him by giving him a hug, his frown shifted from Thinking to Annoyed. 

"Knock it off, Rinoa," he said, somewhat exasperated. "We've got to get ready." 

"For what?" she asked. "You don't mean we're leaving right now, do you?" 

Squall nodded. "Garden will dock at FH; we'll get off there, and Garden will continue on to Timber. You've got about three hours." 

"FH? What's there?" _Three hours_, she was thinking. _My, they don't waste time when they make up their minds, do they._

"The road to Esthar. Garden can't fly over the Estharian shores so we'll have to hike from FH." 

Esthar. That made more sense; Squall was probably going to ask Laguna if Griever had been his, or if not, what he knew about it. 

"I'm here to make sure you get the right things packed," Squall continued, all business. 

"You don't trust me to be able to pack a travel bag?" Rinoa asked, disappointed. "I _was_ a member of a resistance faction, you know." 

"In a city," Squall dismissed. "This is different. And you're a SeeD now, so now your SeeD training begins." 

"If I didn't deserve the title, why'd Quistis give it to me?" 

"Because she and Selphie knew that you wouldn't be meeting anyone besides me until you could live up to it." Squall shook his head. "I hope you're a fast learner. I'm not good at teaching." 

Rinoa gave up. And by the time they'd reached dock at FH, she'd given up at least twelve more times as Squall ruthlessly dismissed most of her packing choices or methods, providing logical reasons each time to forestall argument. She'd thought that she would at least gain some peace when he had to go pack his own bag, but groaned aloud when she found out he always had one ready - "Sometimes you don't get three hours," was all he said about it. 

In the end she had one very small, neat pack. It contained basic medical supplies, an all-weather sleeping roll, and two changes of clothing - one of which was her new SeeD uniform (and where they'd found one her size on such short notice was beyond her). A utility knife and flint-and-steel were all Squall would permit her to take for food supplies. She eyed his own pack, which was somewhat larger, and asked what he was hauling that she wasn't. 

"A tent," he said with an almost-smile. She got the impression he was enjoying needling her into using her head. 

"It's August, and Esthar doesn't get much rain," Rinoa protested. "A tent would be way too hot." 

"It's not protection against weather, though it can be," he explained. "It's so you don't wake up in the middle of the night with a monster chewing your leg." 

And so it went. When Garden docked at FH, all their friends - and quite a few others - were on hand to wish them well. Rinoa gleefully hugged them all goodbye as Squall waited. They knew better than to touch him, contenting themselves with a goodbye wave. It wasn't like they were leaving on a mission at all; it was as though they were leaving on vacation. As perhaps, in a sense, they were. 

When they disembarked, Garden got underway again almost immediately. Rinoa was surprised to find that Squall would not leave the docking point until the Garden was almost out of sight. She would never have thought he would consider Garden home...though on reflection she realized it was probably the only one he'd ever had. He didn't comment on it, or anything else, for some time. 

FH was a lively place, even if the residents didn't care much for SeeD. There was always someone around trying to improve something or add something or dismantle something; FH was in a constant state of renovation. An engineer's dream. 

"Are we going to walk all the way across the Horizon Bridge?" Rinoa asked. 

"Yes," came the reply. "Unless Grease Monkey has something we can use." 

Grease Monkey...oh yes. The artisan that had made friends with Artisan in Shumi Village. She felt that counting on him to have a fast mode of transport might be being a bit optimistic. The people of FH seemed to prefer reliability and longevity over speed. 

It was near sundown when they entered Grease Monkey's workshop, and he was happily pounding away at something to the point where Squall chose to move himself into the man's line-of-sight rather than attempt verbal communication. When he did so, Grease Monkey stopped what he was doing and greeted them enthusiastically. 

"Hey, nice to see you again," he said. "I'd shake hands but they're all over grease and you'd not want to get that on you I'm thinking," he continued. "What brings you here?" 

"Heading to Esthar," said Squall. "Do you have anything that might save us the hike?" 

Grease Monkey scratched his head with the hand that was only holding a pair of safety goggles, and looked around his workshop. "I might be able to put together a cart overnight...that'd save you two days of hiking if you're willing to wait." 

Squall nodded. "We can wait that long, it's getting dark anyway. Anything you'd want in return?" 

Grease Monkey eyed Squall levelly. "How 'bout we just call it a favor," he said. "And if I need one later on, I can call on you. Deal?" 

Squall frowned. He didn't like being beholden to anyone, and a 'favor' owed was often nebulous at the start and uncomfortable when called in. But Rinoa startled him by replying, "That'll be fine," as if there were no question on the matter. He didn't turn to look at her, nor did he override her. He simply nodded, and Grease Monkey took that as affirmation and got to work. 

Once outside, though, Squall said, "Don't do that again," in a tone that brooked no argument. 

"Why?" Rinoa responded, knowing she could do what others would never dare. "A favor's easy enough to handle, and it'll save us days of travel. And tonight we can sleep in a bed." 

"That doesn't matter," he growled. "We're _supposed_ to present a united front to non-SeeD. I outrank you ten times over; _you're_ supposed to back _me_, not the other way around." 

Rinoa was not going to back down. "And if we negotiate as Sorceress and Knight?" 

"Then I back you. But this was SeeD business." 

Rinoa thought a moment. "What _is_ my rank, anyway? What's yours?" 

"You're first rank," Squall said. "When you know enough to pass a written exam, that'll change. I'm thirtieth rank until they make me Commander again." A distaste for the job was plain in his voice, as though he'd escaped an unpleasant fate by being relieved. "Are we cleared on this? I don't want to have to pay for something because you got mixed up on what roles we're in." 

"Sure," Rinoa shrugged. "But the Sorceress reeeally wants to sleep in a bed tonight. Is the Knight okay with that?" 

Squall sighed, defeated. "Yes. I'll go get the rooms." 

* * * * * * 

FH was not the lap of luxury, nor did the rooms have the elegant flair of the guest quarters of Garden. But the view of the ocean was pleasant, with the moon and stars glittering brightly on the water's ripples. Squall had gotten a room with a balcony, knowing Rinoa's love for stargazing. She noted he'd also gotten two small beds instead of one large one. She shook her head; he had as long a way to go learning how to be a Knight as she did learning how to be a SeeD. The thought sparked an idea. 

Squall was checking over the room; for what purpose she could only guess. She waited on the balcony until he joined her. 

"I think I'd like to make a deal with you," she said hesitantly. He turned to face her, waiting. 

"I have a good idea how Sorceress' Knights are supposed to behave, what they're supposed to do," Rinoa continued. "I'd like to propose a contest." 

Well, she had his attention, anyway. Squall was watching her very intently, now. It almost gave her stage fright, but she managed to finish her idea. "I was thinking...from sunup to sundown, you teach me everything I need to know about being a SeeD. From sundown to sunup, I teach you everything you need to know about being a Knight. And we'll see who's the better student, and who the better teacher. We'll negotiate for things the same way unless there's a good reason not to. If it's daylight, you're in charge...if it's night, I am." 

The only reaction Squall had at first was to blink, very slowly. After a few minutes of unmoving silence, Rinoa started to worry that somehow she'd managed to really offend him. She didn't know whether to apologize or what. 

Then, slowly, as though he were granting a big favor, he nodded. "I'll play it your way, Rinoa," he said slowly. Then he revealed what was bothering him. "If you try to make me your lap-dog, though..." 

Rinoa laughed in relief. "I wouldn't do that to you, Squall. Did you think I would order you to do a strip-tease for me?" When his eyes widened in surprise, it only made her laugh harder. "Have a little faith, Squall. I wouldn't ask you to do anything you didn't honestly want to do - or at least need to do. Strictly by the book, honest." 

Squall looked much less tense after that, though he tended to give her questioning looks as she gave him a rough introduction to Knightly graces. Rinoa decided that telling Squall she'd learned a lot of this from Seifer would do no good at all. Squall's grace came from years of practice; the decorum required of a Knight sat uneasily on him. She wondered if she looked as out of place in a SeeD uniform. She hadn't had a chance to try it on yet. She kept it simple and to the point to start, knowing that both of them needed their rest. 

Squall threw himself into memorizing the requirements as completely as if they were part of his SeeD training. He had no idea when or if it would be useful to know it, but he had taken the position of Rinoa's Knight and he would give it no less effort than he did his SeeD career - even though the two jobs could be seen as antithetical. 

He pulled the covers over Rinoa gently as he put her to bed. In the privacy of his own mind, he was almost grateful that this fell under the duties of a Knight. It meant that he could do this and claim it was because of duty, and not his own desires. Orders could be a welcome shield at times. 

It felt awkward, stripping down with a female roommate. Or any roommate; he'd had none since becoming a SeeD. But he was damned if he was going to try sleeping in leather pants indoors in August. Rinoa did him the courtesy of keeping her eyes closed, at least. He loved her, but it didn't make certain matters of privacy easier. Perhaps that was why Selphie and Quistis had been so eager to send him out alone with her; to throw them together until that hurdle was crossed. 

His last thought before falling asleep was at least Rinoa didn't snore.... 

* * * * * * 

Survival training is never easy. Trying to get the hang of survival training when the terrain is the Salt Flats of Esthar is baptism by fire. 

The trip over the Horizon Bridge had gone as quickly as Grease Monkey had promised. The 'cart' he'd cobbled together had been a cart indeed; a bare metal frame with a battery-powered engine. But there weren't any monsters on the Bridge, or any obstacles, and there was power enough in the cart to get them all the way across in one day. They'd left the cart there; Grease Monkey had said he would hike out to get it himself. 

That had been the easiest and most enjoyable part of the trip. 

Throughout the day, every day, Squall would quiz Rinoa on SeeD codes and protocols. Whenever the opportunity presented itself, he would tie in the topic with something around them and try to make her draw the connection. Since Squall didn't like talking, his teaching generally consisted of explaining things exactly once and then getting Rinoa to apply it repeatedly until it stuck. 

Rinoa had thought the occasional - and sometimes frequent - monster attacks would provide a measure of relief, but they did not. Squall was regarding the whole of Nature as an oversized Training Center, and had Rinoa trying to defeat monsters using limited resources. Sometimes she would only be allowed to use her blaster edge, sometimes only magic, and sometimes she had to use the kickboxing techniques Zell had shown her. No matter what method she was directed to use, Squall would try to show her how to fight so that the two of them always worked in tandem. 

"You might not always have your weapon," he told her when she complained. "And even a Sorceress can be silenced." 

In the end, though, what drove Rinoa to excel was simply the sheer satisfaction of turning the tables at sundown. Frequently Squall would order camp made an hour or two early so that Rinoa could learn the Joys of Tent Pitching and other skills. If he chose to do so, they would begin the Knight's training as soon as camp was made to make up for that, and because during Rinoa's time they had to sleep. 

The contest at least made traversing the bleak terrain interesting. Though never chatty, Squall was more easily persuaded to speak when there was something Rinoa actually needed to know. It _almost_ counted as conversation. In the evenings, Rinoa could vent her frustration by playing the Sorceress to the hilt, and Squall would swallow his pride and do whatever was required. 

After a few days of that, though, Rinoa stopped. Squall without his pride...just wasn't _Squall_. By the time Esthar came in sight, she had ceased both teasing and complaining and instead tried to be both the best student and the best teacher possible. She had been given an unparalleled opportunity to get to know him a little better, and she wanted to take advantage of it. 

Squall, for his part, was finding the trek a revelation. He knew, somewhere, that Rinoa's initial complaints should have bothered him, but they didn't. It gave him great satisfaction to see how quickly she learned even the most obscure things, and the routine of defending against monster attacks was almost a dance when they fought together. (This was the source of much teasing from Rinoa at first; he fought and made it seem a dance, but when asked to dance he often met with disaster.) His worry that learning about SeeD would take the light from her eyes had so far proven unfounded. The harsher the circumstances, the more brightly she shone. He tried very hard not to let his admiration show; the training was necessary and real, and it would do no good if Rinoa overestimated her ability. 

He wondered sometimes if the nightly reversal of fortune had anything to do with her high spirits. Since he spared her no mercy during the day, he couldn't very well complain if she showed him none at night - though courtly graces were tricky to pick up on a deserted salt flat, and trying to learn to dance when there was neither music nor rhythm was near to impossible. He knew, though, that SeeD training could and had broken peoples' spirits; it took him no time at all to decide that the work was worth seeing Rinoa happy. 

Besides...it cost him nothing. No one else was out here to see it. And he wasn't going to get caught playing the role in public _anytime_ soon if he could help it. 

He wondered if Rinoa had applied what he was showing her to the things she'd been showing him. Knightly graces were all very well, but they weren't there just to keep a Sorceress happy. They were there to keep her alive. He didn't think Seifer had ever thought this whole Knight-business out; the more he learned, the more convinced he became that his rival had gone about things in exactly the wrong way. 

Seifer had fallen for the romanticism of the Sorceress' Knight. Squall knew his rival had a natural flair for the sweeping bows, the knowing smiles, the velvet-over-steel approach. But while a Knight was supposed to have those things, they weren't - to Squall's view - the purpose of the Knight. 

Edea had said that a Knight was supposed to guard the Sorceress' spirit. Most women were quite happy to have a man bowing over them, but unless the Sorceress was a simpleton the social graces were meaningless without real emotion behind them. Having seen what became of Adel and Ultimecia without that emotional support, he would not allow the same to happen to Rinoa. 

All the bowing and scraping was just...decoration. It was almost worthy of SeeD. Everything Rinoa had shown him told him what the true intentions were; to stay physically close to the Sorceress in a manner that was unobtrusive and socially acceptable, in a way most likely to allow him to keep her from harm. Among the wealthy elite, even married couples were often separated at social functions; the protocols of the Knight got him around that. 

He hated high society. He loathed the false exuberance of the wealthy and idle. He was just going to have to hope that as a Sorceress, Rinoa would choose to lead a reclusive life. He might - if it were necessary - put on the mask for a while, but there was just too much honesty in his soul to handle wearing it all the time. 

In the meantime, he fully intended on rewriting the knight's code. After all, there was only one Sorceress in the world right now, and that meant he was the only Knight. Surely this allowed for a little customization. Why drape velvet over steel when naked steel is so much better a deterrent? 

When Esthar came into view, though, his high spirits sank. There would - hopefully - be other solo trips with Rinoa, but now it was time to get back to the realities of the assignment. He suppressed a shudder; Laguna was a very exuberant man, and assumed a degree of familiarity that insulted Squall deeply. But he'd have to talk to the man; it was the logical first step in solving the mystery that was his ring. His gloved thumb idly turned Griever around on his finger. If Irvine's hazy memory was right, he'd had this ring all his life. Raine was dead. That only left Laguna. 

He wished there were a better option. 


	9. The Liberation of Timber

# Chapter 8

## The Liberation of Timber

_Have reached outlying settlements of Esthar City. Training proceeds well._

Quistis sighed as she read the terse message, wishing Squall understood the importance of personal notes. As any SeeD on assignment was required to do, he checked in nightly and reported on his progress. Quistis didn't need to know that Rinoa was doing well in her SeeD training; she had guessed that would be the case very early on. The things she wanted to know, Squall would never say. How were they doing? Were they happy? It wasn't required of SeeDs to report on their state of emotional health unless it impacted their mission, but those two were her friends. She wondered when Squall would hand over the job of checking in to Rinoa. Usually it was the duty of the lowest-ranking person on a mission. 

She pushed the screen away from her, and took off her glasses as she closed her eyes. They were nearly at Timber, and she'd only just finished setting up squad assignments. Since being relieved of her teaching duties she'd lost touch with the cadets, and hadn't had time to re-establish the bond since becoming Headmaster. She had had to rely on instructor reports, and comments left behind by Cid and then Squall. Sorting through several screens of such had left her with a large dose of eyestrain and an incredible need for aspirin. 

Still. Timber wasn't half the size of Dollet; a hundred SeeD cadets should be able to liberate the town. 

The pleasant silence was destroyed as Selphie, Xu, Zell and Irvine bounced into the room. With her headache, Selphie's cheerfulness was almost insulting. She put her glasses back on and tried to act presentably. 

Xu opened with, "I hope Squall was right in choosing Zell to lead the SeeD. I think there's something going on." 

Zell snorted, and responded with, "Yeah, and its name is Seifer. Look, I can _do_ this, all right? Just 'cause I really really want to knock the grinning bastard into next week doesn't mean I'll go against orders to do it." He smacked his fist into his palm and grinned, "I'll be real nice, and let him take the first swing." 

Irvine looked worried, and said, "Maybe I'd better go with you. I can work on the Garden's rumor mill after the fight. Seph, you think you'll be ok here?" 

Selphie gave her partner a mock-insulted look. "Yeah, I'm stuck behind the walls of Garden while the rest of you get to go crack heads. I'm just _peachy_." 

"I'm stuck behind too, Selphie," said Quistis tiredly. "Someone's got to make sure Garden stays safe, and we can't enter the fight without demoralizing the cadets." 

Xu tactfully said nothing. As Garden's new Commander, she could choose whether to fight or not. Instead, she asked Zell, "If Irvine's going with you, who's your other choice?" 

Zell grinned. "My friend from the library committee. She kicks ass, lemme tell ya." 

Xu smiled. "Does she have a name? I'll need to note it, if she wants to get paid for taking the mission." 

"Bella," replied Zell reverentially. 

"The way you say that, you must be head over heels over her," chuckled Irvine. "What's her specialty?" 

At this, Zell broke into a big grin. "Throwing stars." He noted that this did not get the expected reaction; the entire group was looking puzzled. "Look," he finished, "wait till you see what she can do with 'em! Trust me, she's good." 

Xu waved her hand, trying to calm Zell down. "It's all right. You were given discretion to choose your companions. If you want Bella, you've got her. Quistis, are you giving them any cadets?" 

"No," said Quistis. "The cadets will take care of the Galbadian military. If you don't mind, I'd prefer that Zell and his team focus on Seifer. I agree with you - I can't believe he's leading an uprising out of the goodness of his heart." 

Xu nodded. "Yes. The cadets would be no match for Seifer and his posse. On the other hand, I don't know that Zell and Irvine - and Bella - could defeat them either." 

"We don't want to fight him," Quistis said. "He's working on the same side we are in this, whether we like it or not. But Zell and Irvine are well known to those three - they might pry a few answers out of Seifer without having to fight. At least I hope so." 

Irvine raised his hand. "Best leave that to me. Seifer's no more fond of Zell than Zell is of Seifer." 

Xu shrugged. "I'm not going to tell you how to handle him. Just find out what he's up to, and report back here. If you can take out any Galbadian forces along the way, you're more than welcome to. Are you hearing me, Zell?" 

"Yeah, yeah," grumbled Zell. "I hear you." 

"So what's your game plan?" asked Selphie. "You've got..." she checked her notes "about a week before the funds run out." 

Quistis unrolled a cloth map of Timber and laid it out on her desk, using colored marker-pieces to denote the various forces. 

"The Galbadian military is in great disarray," she began, "and their defense of Timber is therefore weak. Mostly, it's concentrated at the commercial entry points; town entrances and the train station. Rather than try to penetrate all the entrances, I'll be ordering the cadets to break the defense at the main entrance. It's too wide for them to hold for long. From there, the cadets will head for city center, and disperse along the roads to the other entrances - where the forces should already be scattered in response to the initial attack. I'm hoping that the visible presence of SeeD will incite the local resistance factions to battle - providing us with a degree of assistance and protection we did not enjoy in the liberation of Dollet." 

Xu checked the plan over and nodded. "Yes, that should work." She looked over at Zell and Irvine. "You two had better get ready; we're almost there." 

The two men looked at each other. "Get ready? We're set now," said Irvine. 

Xu sighed, exasperated. "No, you're not. Have you forgotten? All SeeDs are required to be in uniform during field exams - so the cadets know you're on their side." 

"Oh. Yeah," said Zell, chagrined. "Um. Yeah. We'll go get...ready. And I'll tell Bella, too." Quickly, he and Irvine left the room. 

"Tell me what you see in him again?" Xu asked Selphie. 

Selphie just grinned. Then she said, "I'm going to go check on the missiles. Just in case the Galbadians bring in another Black Widow. We don't want the cadets to have to face that." Losing her smile, she shuddered. "That was waaaay too close for comfort." 

Quistis nodded. "It took a lot longer to shoot it down than I'd thought it would. Well, I'm off to inspire the troops." Pushing herself upright, she took a deep breath to dispel the tiredness she felt, and left the room. Xu soon followed, leaving Selphie to take the elevator up to the bridge to check on the weapons array. 

* * * * * * *

Fujin had just finished taking down a Galbadian officer when the message-com beeped. She quickly grabbed the dead soldier's hand for print verification and scanned the message. Frowning, she printed it out before heading downstairs, where Raijin was busy clearing the floor of more Galbadians. When he'd finished - a matter which didn't take long - Fujin showed him the message. 

"SeeD? Here?" Raijin groaned. "I'm betting Seifer's not gonna like this, ya know?" 

"FOOL," snapped Fujin. "SEIFER?" 

"Across the street, I think," said Raijin. "Said he wanted to make sure the bar was liberated in time to be clean for the victory party." 

Fujin didn't wait but immediately headed for the bar. The only living person in it at the moment was Seifer, who by the look of things had killed every Galbadian in the building. She didn't bother with greetings, but handed him the message. Somewhat to her surprise, he smiled. 

"Perfect," he said. "I _knew_ if we kicked up enough fuss SeeD would get involved. When did this come in?" 

"MINUTES," said Fujin. 

"That recent? And by this we've got," he checked his watch, "about an hour before SeeD gets here. Damn. Go get Raijin; we're going to take a break. Pick a semi-level rooftop and then come get me. I want to watch this." 

"AGREE," said Fujin, and went back to get her partner. Seifer turned around and yelled up the bar's stairs, "Hey, Watts! Zone! Get your asses down here! We've got company coming!" 

Moments later, Rinoa's friends from the Timber Owls were standing before Seifer. "Yes, sir?" said Watts. Seifer showed them the printout. 

"Your friends are coming in to finish the job we started," Seifer said. "Go get the welcoming committee together. Me and my posse are going to go keep the Galbadians distracted, so it's down to you." 

"Yes, sir!" the two chirped. "Rinoa's gonna be so proud of what we've done!" 

"I'll bet," said Seifer. "Get all the factions together. By nightfall this should be a free town." 

Seifer watched as the two rushed out of the bar. Once they were safely gone, he laughed until he had to hold his stomach to keep breathing. Some days, life was just too easy. "Yeah," he said to the doorway. "Rinoa's going to be real proud of you boys." He spun his gunblade, Hyperion, in his hand before sheathing it, and strolled out of the bloody bar as though he were a newly crowned king. 

* * * * * * * *

Quistis and Selphie stood on the bridge of Balamb Garden, using high-powered binoculars to watch the cadets charging the gates of Timber. 

Selphie also kept an eye on the surrounding countryside, alert for any movement that might signal the arrival of Galbadian reinforcements. 

Quistis stood in front of a recently installed rack with a host of buttons. Since the end of the worldwide signal interference, SeeD had begun using small transmitters to keep track of squads during exercises, each squad on a different frequency. Occasionally she would press a button and order a squad to a new position. It was much more efficient than using messengers, as they had previously had to do. 

The downside to using a field exam to send in more than the contracted three SeeD was that some squads knew when to stuff their orders and act independently, and some squads needed to be told. Quistis was kept very busy trying to watch all twenty-five squads. There were also a few that acted independently when they shouldn't - and those could blow the whole mission. 

There were twenty-six letters to the alphabet, so the rack could handle twenty six squads. But the last one didn't need any direction from Quistis. Zell was beating the daylights out of the Galbadians without any encouragement whatsoever. Indeed, Irvine and Bella were having a hard time keeping up. 

Quistis noted that one squad had completed its assignment but lacked initiative. She pressed one of the buttons, and said, "Squad F: secure Timber Maniacs," and watched as they bustled off. 

* * * * * * * *

Irvine was wishing that Squall hadn't given command to Zell. He was also wishing he hadn't agreed to come along. For six months, Irvine had had nothing overly strenuous to do, and he was a tad out of shape. While Zell, of course, had been leading martial arts classes and running around Garden like a maniac. The net effect was that Irvine had no breath to spare to even ask Zell to slow down; it was all tied up in gasping for air while aiming frantically at any soldiers that came into view. At least his aim was still perfect. 

Bella was everything Zell had promised, and took care of the closer targets with her throwing stars, neatly depositing them in the throats of her enemies as if they were stationary dolls. But she was a very shy person, and didn't have a word to say even to Zell. 

It didn't matter. Zell was making enough noise for all three of them. The Galbadians were probably happy to die after a few of Zell's overexuberant shouts at close range. Another effect of the shouts was to alert the local populace that SeeD was here; when the people learned that, all of a sudden the streets were chaos. Irvine wondered - was every citizen of Timber a member of a resistance group? 

* * * * * * * *

Selphie turned to Quistis. "I see tanks," she said. "Didn't take them long to send reinforcements. How are the cadets doing?" 

"I estimate about half the city is cleared," said Quistis. "Zell has alerted the resistance groups to our presence, and it's getting harder to see the squads. ETA on the tanks?" 

Selphie judged the distance. "About half an hour," she said. 

Quistis frowned in concentration. "I think I can get them to barricade city center in that time." 

Selphie grinned. "No need. You wouldn't let me go play with the others, so this is _my_ turn to have some fun." 

Quistis turned from her communications board for a moment to look at Selphie. "What?" 

"You weren't paying attention when we got Garden repaired after the crash into FH. The techs repaired everything - and it turns out we've got a load of missiles. I'm in the mood to blow some tanks UP!" 

Quistis sighed. "If it keeps the tanks away from the cadets, Selphie, have a ball. Try not to take out too many hills." 

Selphie grinned like a kid who's just been given the keys to the candy store. Quickly she powered up the weapons rack, and turned to face the dots on the horizon that would be her targets. There was nothing Selphie had grown to love more than blowing large objects into tiny, tiny pieces. 

* * * * * *

Seifer, Fujin, and Raijin watched the battle quietly from a shaded overhang. Even the SeeD candidates assigned to rooftop sniper positions didn't see them. The Timber Owls, the Forest Foxes...every single resistance movement in Timber was out on the streets now, with whatever weapons they could get their hands on. Seifer had grown to know each one very well in his weeks here. They thought he was a hero. Seifer smirked at the thought. _I'm much more than a_ hero, Seifer thought. _It's too easy to be a_ hero,_ even Chicken-Wuss can be that much._

_I'll be the Sorceress' Knight. I'll be a fuckin'_ god. 

He turned to Fujin. "You see any sign of them?" 

"NEGATIVE," snapped Fujin. 

Seifer's eyes narrowed. "Raij?" 

Raijin shook his head. "Doesn't look like they came." 

"It's _her_ fuckin' resistance group on the line here, _her_ cause we're winning. If anything could lure that bitch out of the Garden this would be it. Damn!" Seifer drew Hyperion, his gleaming gunblade, and swiped it through the air. "I've had enough of this pussyfooting around," he growled. "If they didn't show I guess I'll just have to kick someone else's ass to make up for it. You with me?" 

Both of his companions nodded. Just then, Zell's group came into view. Seifer grinned. 

"Follow my lead," said Seifer, and leaped off the roof into a group of Galbadian soldiers. Fujin and Raijin looked at each other, shrugged, and followed. 

* * * * * * *

Zell was having the time of his life. Between Irvine's long-range bullets and Bella's short-range shuriken, Zell never had to fight more than two or three Galbadians at a single time with his fists. The three SeeDs had had an easy time cutting a swath through the Galbadian forces, but as yet had seen no sign of Seifer. 

Zell saw a large group of soldiers ahead and made for it, Irvine and Bella trailing behind. Suddenly he saw a sword swinging at him - a surprise since Galbadians preferred guns. Just for a moment, Zell thought 'Squall' - until his brain kicked in and reminded him Squall was on another continent by now. But in that moment, the sword cut a deep line across his cheek. 

"Why you _god_damned _mother_fucking _bastard_," growled Zell, "I'm gonna pummel your ass _extra_ hard for that one!" 

"You couldn't pummel bread dough, Chicken-Wuss," came the retort. Zell blinked, and yanked his arm back to prevent the Punch Rush he'd been preparing from going through. 

"Seifer?" he said. Sure enough, it was Seifer, grinning a smug grin at the thin line of blood down Hyperion's blade. At that moment, only his orders not to injure Seifer kept him in check. Fujin and Raijin stood by dispassionately. The battle seemed to just be moving around them for the moment. 

Then Zell remembered what else he was supposed to do, besides let Seifer live. "What are _you_ doing here, Seifer?" he demanded. _Damned if I'm gonna be_ nice _to a guy who's just tried to slice my face open_, he thought. 

"No hard feelings, Chicken-wuss," laughed Seifer. "I was just taking out some Galbadians and took a swing before I recognized you. That's all." 

Zell's eyes narrowed. Even he wasn't stupid enough to swallow that load of tripe. But he had to play along, orders being orders. "Sure, no hard feelings," he said noncommittally. "What're you doing in Timber?" 

"Why, setting it free, of course," replied Seifer with an innocent look. "I was helping Rinoa with this long before she ever met up with puberty-boy. Where is she, anyway? Thought she'd want to be here to see the day of victory and freedom." 

"None of your business, Seifer," growled Zell. It wasn't that he thought telling Seifer would be dangerous, it was simply that if Seifer wanted to know, Zell automatically felt that he shouldn't be told. He felt a hand on his shoulder - Irvine. 

"She couldn't come," said Irvine. "But don't worry, we'll tell her all about the fun she missed." He tugged on Zell's sleeve. "Come on, we got work to do." _Screw the orders,_ Irvine was thinking. _If I don't get Zell out of here before he snaps, we're gonna have to take on the posse and I for one am too goddamned tired for that today._

"Yeah, work," said Zell. The next few soldiers to come in range of his fists were really going to regret it. 

Seifer watched them head off. _What is Rinoa up to?_ he thought. He turned to his posse. "We're out of here," he said. "Let the children finish this game." 

The three of them ducked down an alley, and began making their quiet way out of Timber. 

* * * * * *

The battle was won, the cadets returned to Garden. A treaty guaranteeing Timber's independence was even now being signed by the newly elected Mayor of Timber and the President of Galbadia. SeeD did not concern itself with that; the fighting was over and their job was done. Contract filled. 

Quistis pored over the reports of the cadets actions. Of the 100 sent, thirty had died in the fighting - all of them orphans. The incinerator would be busy for the next few hours. Of the seventy who had survived the exam, only five had managed to complete all the requirements to SeeD standards. Still, that was an improvement. Squall's class had been the last one, and only four had passed that test. She decided that she would inform the graduating students of the honor herself, as Headmaster. She'd never liked the impersonal way the faculty tended to handle it. 

She checked the names against the computer records. Squall had noted one of them already as having potential; she was pleased to see he'd been right. The student had challenged Zell to a fist-fighting match because challenge had to be offered to proceed. He had fought knowing he would lose but not resigned to it; that was indeed a good indicator of SeeD potential. She set that one aside for future consideration, along with Bella's report. 

She rubbed her forehead, exhausted from a day of trying to keep track of everyone's movements. It was a pity that Timber had suffered such great losses in the fight, but that was to be expected when half-trained civilians took on an army. Judging by the mounds of the fallen, Quistis guessed that fully half the population of Timber had died in the battle. _That's what happens sometimes_, Quistis thought sadly. She wasn't looking forward to telling Rinoa about it. 

Thinking of that, Quistis typed in one last message before taking the certificates for the five new SeeDs and leaving her office. Tonight was to be a night of revelry, the yearly SeeD ball for the new graduates. 


	10. Just Visiting

# Chapter 9

## Just Visiting

Squall checked in with Garden, and found a message waiting. Looking up, he noted Rinoa was still bathing. She'd reacted to having a room in the Presidential Palace the way a man dying of thirst might react to five gallons of Gatorade. He would not be disturbed for a while. 

He opened the message. It read: 

_Timber liberated. CDC:100/30/5 CD:3/0 BDG:50% LPC:50% Seifer inv. Rinoa._

Squall blinked. Seifer had been after Rinoa? Whatever for? Nothing good, that was certain. Seifer might play the romantic, but the only person he'd ever proven he gave a damn about was himself. If he had been in Timber to find Rinoa, it was certain that the reasons were not going to be based in loyalty or friendship. 

He scowled at the screen. He'd have to encrypt his reply; no SeeD code existed for orders, only reports. He wasn't Commander of Garden, but in this he knew he could rely on Quistis and Selphie. He responded: 

_Xu investigate Seifer employer_

and pressed Send. Seifer wasn't subtle on his own. If he had played the role of liberator for weeks just to lure Rinoa to Timber, someone else was behind it. Cadets wouldn't be wily enough to catch Seifer, either. It would have to be SeeD. 

His thoughts were interrupted by an exuberant and soaking wet Rinoa bouncing out of the bathroom clad in towels. Squall shook his head; now there was water all over the carpet. He wished Laguna hadn't thrown them into a single suite. The king-sized bed made Squall feel that Laguna was pressuring him. "Message for you," he said curtly, and turned the screen so that Rinoa could see. 

It pleased him that she understood the SeeD shorthand Quistis had used. "Thirty candidates dead?" Rinoa asked. "Half of Timber dead or destroyed? This counts as liberation?" 

"Actually, since the citizenry probably got involved on its own, those figures are pretty good against an army," said Squall unconcernedly. "If they'd stayed indoors, chances are there'd be a lot fewer candidates and a lot more citizens." 

Rinoa shook her head. "You know, sometimes I have this incredible urge to give you a right whack around the head," she said sadly. "Half of Timber is dead, and you don't seem to care." 

Squall raised an eyebrow. "Quistis makes no mention of Watts or Zone," he said. "But she wouldn't know whether they survived this soon anyway. There's nothing I can do about it if they've died, and nothing I can do about it if they're ok. Since there's nothing I can do, I'm doing nothing." 

"Oh, you are incorrigible!" Rinoa snapped. She grabbed a pillow off the bed and nailed Squall right in the face with it. On the positive side, this had the effect of sending Squall to the floor. On the negative side, the sudden movement undid her towels - and this had not escaped Squall's now-excellent vantage point on the floor. He flashed her a wicked smile as she scrambled for covering. 

"That's what happens when you react on impulse," he teased. 

"Oh, and look who's on the floor," retorted Rinoa, but she was grinning. 

"Pillows aren't a threat," he dismissed, getting back up and readjusting his clothes. He paused for a moment, then said, "How would you feel about reversing the bargain while we're in Esthar?" 

Rinoa, who had been getting into her freshly cleaned and mended clothes, stared at Squall in surprise. "You want me to run things during the day?" she asked. "But that's when we get the most done..." 

Squall nodded. "I'll try out this Knight business without having to worry about social functions, too," he said. 

Rinoa was not fooled. She'd spent the entire journey here being forced to use her wits, and she wasn't going to stop now. "You don't want to be the one to deal with Laguna, do you," she said. "Squall, like it or not he _is_ your father. You're going to have to make your peace with him sometime." 

Squall crossed his arms over his chest and glared at her. "I don't see you doing that with General Caraway," he growled. 

"That's different," said Rinoa. "We got along great until my mother died. Now he just sees her in me...but Laguna's never had a chance to get to know you. You should at least give him a chance before you shut him out." 

"He had seventeen years of chance," snapped Squall, nettled. "There's no way he's making up for that in fifteen minutes. I want to find out what he knows and get the hell out of here, not spend the next six months listening to his excuses for abandoning me for Sis." 

Rinoa sighed. She admired Squall's pride, but sometimes it was just a pain in the ass to deal with. Even though Laguna had information Squall needed, he was not going to be reduced to asking Laguna for anything. She nodded slowly. "All right, Squall," she said slowly. "I'll handle Laguna. But you'd better be the perfect Knight for this." 

Squall executed a stiff formal bow in reply, his face set. It seemed the formalities of a Sorceress' Knight were far preferable to him than the intricacies of a family conversation. 

"Go get cleaned up," Rinoa said. "If you're going to be my Knight this afternoon, you're going to look the part. There's a clothes-cleaner in the bathroom too." 

Squall said nothing, but moved to obey. Rinoa sat down on the bed and looked at the screen as she brushed out her still-damp hair. Squall had neglected to shut it off. Of a hundred candidates sent, thirty died, and only five made SeeD. Half the buildings were damaged or destroyed, and half the local population, had died. And Seifer had gotten involved just to see her. She didn't think it was to rekindle an old flame. Seifer had attracted her for a while with his grace and force of personality, but she felt both of them knew his loyalty to Ultimecia had killed any attraction. What bothered her was that the low pass-rate, and the high death-rate, didn't seem to bother Squall. How many cadets had died the year Squall became a SeeD? How many had passed? 

Well, she knew she would never have to take the field exam. SeeD had decided that all those who had fought Ultimecia had passed that requirement. That was when Irvine had become SeeD. Carefully she shut down the laptop and closed it up. She was glad Sorceresses could dress pretty much any way they liked; it saved her having to worry about whether the uniform would suit her. But what on earth was she going to say to Laguna? She knew he'd be hoping to talk to Squall. 

Perhaps she would be able to bring the two of them together. Laguna obviously wanted to, and Squall needed to whether he would admit to it or not. It was worth a try, anyway. 

Squall emerged, fully clothed and dried, in his usual leathers and fur-collared jacket, with Lionheart sheathed at his belt. He stood there in an 'at attention' pose, waiting. Rinoa sighed. Knights were supposed to be subservient to their Sorceresses, but Rinoa wasn't going to try that with Squall. Not when he could give a pointed order while standing silently in the corner. She nodded in acknowledgement, and led the way out of the room. It was time to see Laguna. 

* * * * * * 

Laguna was surprised when Rinoa was the first to enter the President's Office. He hadn't asked them their business when they arrived, but had ordered that a room be made ready for them. Somehow, he'd thought - hoped? - that it was Squall who had come to visit. 

A moment later, though, he saw Squall enter too. Rather to Laguna's surprise, he positioned himself about halfway between Rinoa and the door and stayed there, gray eyes darting around the room absorbing details. Any thoughts Laguna had entertained regarding a greeting were quashed by the sheer blankness of Squall's expression. He sighed. At least Rinoa was willing to speak to him. 

"Welcome back to Esthar," he said to her with a smile. "I'm hoping this visit will be more pleasant than the last." 

"Me too," said Rinoa. The last time, the Estharians had wanted to seal her away in the equivalent of a lifelong prison. But Laguna had had nothing to do with that, and had even sent Ward to make sure Squall was not stopped from rescuing her. 

Laguna stuck his hands in his pockets. "I'm guessing it's not a social call that brings you here," he said slowly, "Though of course you're always welcome. What can I do for you?" 

To Laguna's surprise, Rinoa turned and beckoned to Squall. He pulled off his glove, removed Griever, then pulled his glove back on. He walked over and placed the ring in her palm, then walked back to where he had stood before as if nothing had happened. 

_What the hell is going on?_ thought Laguna, but wasn't given time to ponder matters. Rinoa held out her hand and showed him the ring. "This is what brings us here, President Loire. Do you know anything about it?" 

"Laguna - please," replied Laguna automatically, but took the ring from her hand. Absently he leaned against his desk as he studied it. "Ye-es," he said after a while. "I think I remember this. It was Raine's." 

"Raine had a man's ring?" asked Rinoa, surprised. 

Laguna's face grew solemn as he remembered. "It was an heirloom of Raine's family," he said. "She was the last one of her line, so it fell to her. She used to wear it on a long chain around her neck so no one would see it. She didn't want people to think it was a boyfriend's or something." 

Rinoa nodded; she still wore her mother's ring that way, though since it was a woman's ring she didn't need to wear a long chain. "Can you tell us anything else about it? How long it was in her family? Where it might have come from?" 

Laguna cast a quick look at Squall, but no response was evident there. Yet Rinoa had said 'us', so he must have an interest. How could he not, when it was his mother's ring? "It was in Raine's family at least a few generations," he said. "I remember her mentioning her grandfather had worn it. I never thought much about it. After all, the carving is a lion, and her family name was Leonhart. It made a sort of sense. Is there a reason it's important?" 

Rinoa paused, looking uncertain for a few moments, then nodded as she came to a decision. "There's some sort of power in the ring, President Loire. It reacts violently if magic is used on it. Did you know that?" 

"There's a power in the ring...and you're letting Squall just walk around _wearing_ it?" Laguna asked incredulously. "No, I didn't know there was anything to it. I don't think any member of Raine's family ever junctioned a GF or met up with a sorceress. If that thing reacts to magic, then get rid of it." 

Rinoa didn't dare turn around. If Squall was maintaining the Knight's pose he had adopted, it was certain that it was requiring all of his self-control not to break it. "I don't think we have that option, President Loire," she said firmly. "There's too many coincidences and strange things happening with it for us to simply toss it out a window. Did Raine ever mention the ring's name to you?" 

Unlike Rinoa, Laguna _had_ risked a look at Squall, but saw no change. As far as Laguna could tell from watching his son's face, they could be discussing the weather patterns in Centra. "She said her grandfather had called it Griever," he said, "and that her father kept the name in his memory." 

The ring had had the same name? Now Rinoa was certain there was something going on; Squall had had no way of knowing the ring had been named before. "Is there anything else she mentioned to you about the ring?" Rinoa asked. _Please let it be no, please let it be no...._

"Don't think so," said Laguna after a while, and handed the ring back to Rinoa. "By the way, how long will you be staying?" 

"Not long," said Rinoa, not daring to look over her shoulder. "Long enough to get supplies for a trek to Winhill, it sounds like." 

"The resources of Esthar are at your disposal," Laguna said, then jumped guiltily when Ward growled behind him. "Well - within reason, anyway," he amended. "Look, I have some work to do...I'll see you this evening." And with that, he waved them out. Rinoa left first, without looking back. Squall leveled a glare at Laguna before turning on his heel and following her. 

When the door closed behind them, Laguna turned to Kiros and said, "Well. What do you make of _that_ little charade?" 

Kiros shrugged. "Either we've got trouble, or you've got trouble," he said. 

* * * * * * *

Once back at their rooms, the first thing out of Squall's mouth was, "Hand it back." Reluctantly, Rinoa did so, and watched the shining band disappear beneath Squall's gloves again. 

"Do you really think it was wise for us to go before Laguna as Sorceress and Knight?" she asked. "Esthar has a pretty strict policy regarding Sorceresses, and I don't like the idea of being frozen in space." 

"Laguna won't do anything to you as long as I'm alive," Squall snapped. "He wouldn't try. And if he did, for whatever reason, I could stop him." 

"I just mean that it might have been better not to remind him," said Rinoa. "He wasn't trying to insult you, you know." 

"He wanted me to get rid of it! If he's right, this is the only thing I have - will _ever_ have - of my mother. It's never hurt me. Why should I get rid of it?" 

Rinoa took a risk; she grabbed Squall's arm. He wasn't used to expressing his emotions, so when he did it tended to be explosive. "He was only trying to protect you, in his way," she said. 

"I don't need his protection," growled Squall, but he got a grip on himself. "He abandoned Raine, and abandoned me. I don't need that sort of 'protection'." 

Rinoa thought for a moment, trying to think of an argument that would work. "Did it ever occur to you that you are all he has left of Raine?" she asked. 

Wide gray eyes regarded her, and she could see in them that no, Squall had not thought of that. It would never occur to him that anyone could look at him and see someone else's face. 

"Remember that Kiros and Ward said you look like her," Rinoa said softly. "He might regard you as his last chance." 

She'd slipped; anger flared in Squall's eyes as he pulled away from her. "He left her, and she died. If I'm his last chance to make peace with that, he's up shit creek," he said. "He should remember that for the rest of his life." 

Rinoa looked out the window. "The sun's down," she said. "If he wants to talk to you now, you're going to have to answer." 

"We've got the answers we came for," dismissed Squall. "Since you've decided we'll resupply here, you can test your skills by collecting those supplies. As far as I'm concerned, there's no need to stay later than tomorrow morning." And with that, Squall pulled off his boots and stretched out on the bed, on top of the covers, fully clothed. 

Rinoa sighed, but understood that Squall probably wasn't going to be in anything like a good mood until they'd left Esthar. And with the sun down, she had to be a SeeD again, following orders. Taking his pose as a dismissal, she left the room and headed for the Esthar shops. 

* * * * * * *

His work for the day completed, Laguna left the President's office and headed for the guest suites. The whole situation earlier with Rinoa had bothered him, and he wanted to make sure Squall wasn't being enchanted. His whole stance in the office had been entirely unlike him. As if he were spoiling for a fight, and only Rinoa would stop him from starting one. It was most unlike the reserved, controlled man Laguna had met only about a year before. It was worrying. 

He knocked on the door, but there was no answer. Trying the handle, he found it unlocked - so he ventured inside. Only one light was on, near the bed. Squall had been sleeping on it, but his eyes snapped open when he heard the door open. Sitting up on his elbows, he noted it was Laguna and swung his legs over the side, standing up. All he said was, "Rinoa is going to have to learn how to lock a door." 

"I'm sorry to wake you," said Laguna. "I wanted to talk to you." 

"So does everyone lately," snapped Squall rudely. "Go away, Laguna. I have nothing to say to you." 

Laguna took this as he did every other aspect of Squall's anger; he ignored it. "I meant to come back for you," he said softly, hoping for a response. 

"But you didn't. Not once, in seventeen years. If I hadn't had to come to Esthar, you never would have met me." 

"And that's the way you would have preferred it, wouldn't you Squall?" Laguna asked curiously, cocking his head to one side. "You would have preferred never to know at all?" 

"I spent my life believing that you were dead, like my mother is dead," growled Squall, leaning back against a wall with his arms crossed over his chest, as though forcing himself to keep his hands away from his gunblade. "It's okay to be abandoned by the dead, they don't have a choice. They can't come back. But you're not dead, Laguna. You _chose_ to leave me in an orphanage, while you looked for Ellone. You _chose_ to leave me in Garden while you ruled Esthar. And you _chose_ to send me and the others after Ultimecia, knowing we could easily die, _without_ saying one word of who you are to me. You _chose_, Laguna. Don't expect me to love you for it." 

As Squall recited the list of his father's choices, Laguna's face grew sadder and sadder. "I suppose it was too much for me to hope that you would learn forgiveness in a school for mercenaries," he said. "Ellone told me that it was you who was in my mind those years ago, when we thought it was faeries. I thought, with you having been in my mind, you might understand..." He shrugged helplessly. "Esthar would be in ruins if it weren't for Kiros and Ward helping me to do things right," he said, "but they can't help me with this." 

Laguna tuned to leave, but paused at the door. "I can't make up for not being there before," he said, "but I am here now. I won't fail you again. If you ever need me, this is where I'll be." Then he left, closing the door behind him. 

The first thing Squall did was to lock the door._ If Rinoa forgot her key, let that be a lesson_, Squall thought. _I'm going to get some rest._ He stretched out on the bed again, and was asleep in minutes. 

* * * * * *

Rinoa returned to their room with her arms loaded with packages. She knew Squall had wanted her to learn survival training, but she wasn't going to put up with eating monster for the entire trip to Winhill. Most of what she bought was easily packed and either non-perishable or long-storage food. She'd also topped off their medical supplies, since she'd discovered she wasn't always up to casting cure spells after a hard fight. 

She tried the door. Locked. She sighed; she was pretty sure she hadn't locked it when she left, and if Squall had locked it then his already foul mood had probably gotten worse. She set down the bags and fished out her key, unlocking the door in short order. Quickly she hauled her prizes inside, and closed and re-locked the door. If he'd had a reason that went beyond merely being in a foul mood, her guess was it was probably Laguna. 

Squall was stretched out on the bed as he had been when she left, but there were signs that his sleep was not easy. The blankets around and underneath him were rumpled, an occasionally his hands would clench into fists. 

Rinoa blinked. On the trip here they had shared a tent, and occasionally she would wake in the night to find him writhing in his sleep. But he always calmed down if she touched him, and he never spoke or woke up. She hadn't spoken to him about it; what would she say? 

But tonight...they were indoors. The walls of the Presidential Palace were soundproofed, and the only sound was their breathing. She wouldn't have to worry about monsters. Curiosity got the better of her. Quietly, very quietly, she crouched by the head of the bed, so that if he spoke in his sleep she would hear. 

She lost all track of time as she listened, watching Squall grow progressively more agitated. In the tent, by now she would have touched him lightly. Outside, this sort of movement could bring the tent down. But here, he was safe. If he was haunted by some memory, some personal demon, this might be the only way for her to learn of it. Squall's hands clawed the covers beneath him as if his hands were a weapon. His lips were moving, now, but there was no sound. She waited; this was what she had been hoping for. 

Then he growled, _"You will not have us forever!"_ so loudly that he woke himself up. 

Rinoa stood up and smiled reassuringly. "You ok?" she asked. 

Squall blinked and looked around, spotting the bags she'd brought back. "You just got back?" he asked. 

_You don't remember your dream?_ Rinoa thought. She decided not to try and remind him. "Yes," she said. "Got some food stores that aren't monster bits, and replenished our medical supplies. It's a long hike to Winhill from here." 

He nodded and fell back against the pillow. "You forgot to lock the door when you left," he said tiredly. 

"It's your father's palace, and you were still here," Rinoa replied. "I didn't think there was a need." 

Squall blew out a heavy breath. "Well, if you're mad at me for asking you to deal with Laguna, you've got your revenge. Since the door was unlocked he came and annoyed me personally." 

Rinoa laughed. "I'm sure he regrets it now, the way you've been acting since we got here," she said. "We're heading out tomorrow, aren't we?" 

"...Yeah." 

"Then_ I_ for one am going to take advantage of the last bed we're going to be in for a while." 

Rinoa smiled as she saw Squall's surprised expression when she began to get undressed. When he noticed she was aware of him watching, he quickly turned away. She reached out and touched him. "If you want to watch, I don't mind," she said reassuringly. "I know it can be hard to open up to people...so we'll just take things a little bit at a time." 

It was one of the interesting paradoxes of his character, Rinoa believed, that Squall could be both a fearless warrior and a very shy and nervous young man. She would not rush him, no. But neither would she have him hold back out of fear for her reaction. She finished undressing and got under the covers on her side of the bed, turning out the light, careful not to look at Squall and possibly make him any more nervous than he already was. 

She sensed him get off the bed, heard him undress, and slide under the covers - very firmly on his own side of the bed. Rinoa let one hand cross the invisible boundary, and felt his hand join hers. 

But she'd had a busy day, and the mattress was incredibly soft...and before she knew it she'd fallen asleep. 


	11. Crossed Wires

# Chapter 10

## Crossed Wires

"I'm sorry, Alicia," said Seifer. "I failed. They didn't come." 

The woman called Alicia watched dispassionately as Seifer bowed on one knee in a posture of surrender. He was fond of doing such dramatic things, as though he were an actor always on stage. 

"You told me it could not fail, Seifer," she said softly. "You told me that if Timber were to revolt, the Sorceress would be drawn out of Garden to participate. And yet this did not happen. Why do you think that is?" 

"It has to be Squall," Seifer replied. "I can think of no other person who would keep her from it." 

Alicia tapped one perfectly manicured nail against the armrest of her thronelike mahogany chair. "Where is this Squall, then?" she asked, still in a sweet, soft voice. 

Seifer shrugged. "I don't know, Alicia," he admitted. "If he were in Garden, he would have been involved in the battle. But we saw no sign of _him_, either." 

"There is no chance that they suspected you? That they refrained from leaving Garden because they knew you were there?" 

Seifer smirked. "If anything, knowing I was there would have made them more eager to leave. They both know that the others wouldn't stand a chance against me. No - they could not have been in Garden when the battle occurred." 

Alicia settled back on her throne, dark brown eyes studying Seifer carefully. "Tell me of Squall," she said. "Tell me what hold he has on the Sorceress." 

Seifer grimaced. "She loves him," he said. "She's probably made him her Knight, but I don't think they understand what that is. It's just a title to them." 

"Would this Squall accept the position if she offered it, without knowing what it entails?" Alicia asked curiously. 

"Puberty-boy is completely gaga when it comes to Rinoa, Alicia. He'd declare himself a purple kitten if she asked it." 

Alicia ignored Seifer's sarcasm, her fingernails continuing to make soft tapping sounds against the arm of her throne as she thought. At last, she said, "How many soldiers of Galbadia remain loyal to you, Seifer?" 

Seifer blinked. It was his turn to think for a moment. Then he said, "Not that many. Maybe a few hundred." 

"Gather them all," Alicia said indifferently, "and hunt down Squall. Bring him to me alive - but he does not need to be whole if that is too much for you to do." She raised her hand as Seifer moved to protest. "Do not tell me you can take him yourself. He is probably with the Sorceress, if he cares for her as much as you say. The two of them could kill you without breathing hard. You must overwhelm them quickly - and remember that Squall must be taken alive. Now, go. Do not fail me again." 

Seifer rose to his feet, bowed from the waist, and left, trenchcoat flaring as he called for his posse. Once the sound of his boots had receded into the distance, she waved her next guest into the room. It was Doctor Odine. He wasn't anywhere near as subservient as Seifer had been, but waited quietly. 

"Tell me how your work progresses, Doctor Odine," said Alicia. 

Odine grinned, a wide happy innocent grin. "Ze experiments zey are a complete success, Alicia," he said cheerfully. "I haf no doubt zat ve shall enjoy ze projected results vithout ill effect." 

Alicia nodded, but her expression did not change. "I have arranged matters so that the Sorceress will come here," she said. "You are sure that you can contain her power?" 

Odine nodded. "Zat vill not be a problem," he dismissed. "I haf designed many tings to contain a Sorceress' power. Zis Rinoa is young, I studied her ven she vas possessed by Ultimecia. I can contain her power, zere is no problem." 

"Thank you, Odine," said Alicia. "Let me know if there is anything further you require." 

Odine bustled out, leaving Alicia alone with her thoughts. What those thoughts were, none knew save herself. 

* * * * * * * *

Quistis leaned back in her chair, happy that as Headmaster she was able to choose a large and comfortable one. It was after hours, but she had remained in her office for this chair and the reading lamp, as she hadn't gotten around to redecorating her newly appointed quarters. 

She turned the page. The title on the spine read, _"The Sorceress' Knight"_. 

It had been one of Seifer's requested additions to the Library, some years ago. Since the only people to ever adopt the title were Seifer - who had been defeated - and Squall, who was SeeD, very few people in Garden had bothered to read it. 

But Quistis was a researcher at heart. She felt instinctively that it was a bad idea to take a title if you didn't know what it meant, and so she had begun her study of the role. Squall might forever be Rinoa's, but Quistis had known him and loved him longer that Rinoa ever had and she would fight to the death to protect him from harm. 

So far, it sounded like being a glorified servant. Demeaning, perhaps, but harmless. Quistis might envy Rinoa, but she didn't fear her. But then, she'd only managed to read a few chapters so far. Every time she found a few moments to settle in with the book - 

_Speak of the devil_, Quistis thought to herself as someone knocked on the door. She sighed and placed her bookmark before calling, "Come in." 

It was Irvine. "You better come to the front gates," he said. "I think we have trouble." Then he turned on his bootheel and sped off - presumably to find Selphie or Zell. As the only relatively free member of their group, he often ended up acting as a priority messenger. 

Quistis carefully set the book down so as not to damage it or lose her place, and did as Irvine had bidden. 

* * * * * * * *

The entire group had assembled at the front gates to greet their guests. It was less a gesture of friendship and more in the interests of security; the 'guests' in question were a very haggard-looking Fujin and Raijin. 

"Ya gotta help us, ya know," said Raijin. "Seifer's gone nuts again." 

Fujin's single eye glittered with emotion, but she said nothing - only nodded. 

Quistis eyed them both. It had been only a few weeks ago that the two were helping Seifer liberate Timber. "Perhaps we should go to my office," she said. "We shouldn't let the cadets overhear too much." Unspoken were the words _And you'll have a harder time escaping if this is a trick,_ but the group understood. 

Quistis' office was large enough to accommodate committee meetings, so there was room for the whole group and the 'guests' to sit down. Neither did, however. Raijin was too agitated, and Fujin...well, nobody ever really understood Fujin. It was possible she remained standing simply because she was too stiff to bend enough to sit. 

"Now," said Quistis, "What is all this about?" 

"I told ya, man," said Raijin. "Seifer's lost it. Again. And we don't have anyone else to rely on but you guys." 

"Again," said Selphie, with a smile. "All right, is there another Sorceress we have to worry about?" 

"Hey, we can kick her ass if there is," said Zell. "Remember Ultimecia? Wham, bam, and she was _out!_" He threw a few punches at the air to demonstrate. 

"No, she's not a sorceress," denied Raijin. "She's....ah, hell. We don't know _what _she is, but she isn't that. She'd have fried us if she were a sorceress." He was clearly upset. "She's twisted Seifer all around, ya know? He's like her puppy or something." 

Fujin scowled and kicked Raijin in the shins. "Hey!" he yelled. "Knock it off, will ya Fuuj? It's true. He hasn't been the same since he met her." 

"I'd say if Seifer's got a girlfriend who isn't a Sorceress, more power to him," said Irvine. "He'd probably be a lot easier to deal with if he got laid more often." 

Selphie turned an indignant glare on Irvine, who promptly hid his face under his hat. "Well, some guys need that," said Irvine. 

"But this chick...she's got some weird power," pleaded Raijin. "Seifer's strong, he wouldn't go nuts for a girl on the first date. But this chick, he was her puppy before the day was out. And he's been all weird since." 

Quistis and Selphie shared a look. "Is there something you're not telling us, Raijin?" asked Selphie sweetly. To everyone's surprise, Raijin managed to blush fiercely under his dark skin. 

"Well...uh..." he stammered. "He was grinnin' the next day, I mean you've never seen Seifer grin like that. And me, I asked him what was up, ya know? And, uh..." 

Everyone was staring at Raijin as he stammered his way into silence. "And what, Raijin?" asked Quistis, trying to be reassuring. 

"And...hesaiditwasthehalfhourorgasms," said Raijin quickly. 

The group blinked for a few moments as they mentally inserted the spaces, then as one burst out laughing. 

"And you want to _stop _that?" asked Irvine incredulously. "Shit, I'd pay good money for that!" 

"You'd _what_?" demanded Selphie. 

"I mean...uh...I'd pay good money to have you learn that?" he tried. 

"I'm _serious_, man!" yelled Raijin. "You know nobody can do that. And it's seriously screwed Seifer up!" 

Quistis was laughing so hard she had to wipe tears out of her eyes, but she tried to stop long enough to talk. "Raijin, if you want to leave Seifer there's always a room for you here," she said, "but as for_ rescuing_ Seifer...I don't think we can help you. We're not exactly trained for this sort of situation." 

Raijin grew angry, and Fujin moved to stand next to him. "We're not leaving him," he snapped. "We're his posse, ya know? We thought maybe you guys could straighten him out, like you did before. But if ya can't do it, we'll just have to see how far we get on our own! C'mon, Fuuj!" And the two stormed out of the office. 

"Oh, let them leave," said Quistis into the intercom. "I haven't had that good a laugh in years." 

The group spent that afternoon trying to quit laughing, but Zell's impressions of Raijin weren't helping matters any. So none of them saw Fujin and Raijin leave, nor did they think to have the pair tailed. 

It was only after the next day's work that Quistis thought to pair Raijin's comments about Seifer's girlfriend with Squall's warning that Seifer had probably found a new employer. With a sudden sense of misgiving, she searched her office...and along her com-line she found a small wiretap. She removed it, but realized she was probably too late; by now whatever information the pair had come to obtain they had probably acquired. 

Carefully, she set the wiretap on her desk. Tomorrow the group would be very busy. Squall's warning seemed to be valid. 

But tonight, she had a book to read. 

* * * * * * *

The Garden was once again in motion, as the commanders of SeeD met in council. 

It sounded more formal than it was; the group of friends had purloined more junk food and soda from the cafeteria than would be required for a party. Xu, as a relative newcomer, had initially been worried about this but decided to shrug it off. After all, if they were going to be here a while, it made a sort of sense. She just wished they'd thought to get some snacks that weren't heavy on the sugar. Zell on a sugar high was well-nigh unbearable. 

Selphie was holding the wiretap in her hands. "I can't believe we fell for this," she said. "I bet the whole story was made up just so we wouldn't notice Fujin planting this." 

Quistis shook her head. "I'm not so sure. Raijin is a terrible liar. He probably believed what he said, but that doesn't mean Seifer and Fujin didn't manipulate him to believe it. The question is, why?" 

Xu took a deep breath. "I think Squall is right," she said. "Seifer wouldn't come near Garden again unless he had a reason. And I know it's hard to take seriously, but if Raijin wasn't lying...well...pleasure _can_ be addictive. Squall suspected Seifer was working for someone, and all we have is this story of his new girlfriend." 

Irvine shook his head in disbelief. "Look, anything anywhere to do with sex, I studied. To keep up the reputation, you know. What Raijin said this girl does is impossible. I mean really, physically, impossible. And Seifer wouldn't lie about something like that, it'd kill his stud-boy image." Irvine grimaced. "I can_ not _believe I just said that. Excuse me while I go wash my mouth out." 

"Look, I don't care if Seifer's bonking his own mother," snapped Zell. "It'd be just like him, anyway. I want to know what information his stooges were after." 

Quistis lowered her eyes. "We must entertain the possibility that what they wanted was Rinoa's whereabouts," she said. "Remember that Seifer asked after her; that's all we have to go on." 

Selphie shrugged. "Then we call them back - or we grab the Ragnarok and pick them up. No more problem." 

Xu shook her head. "We can't bring Rinoa back here yet," she said seriously. "Since taking the position of Commander, I've had no less than two dozen SeeDs asking when we're going to take her down. By the sound of it, the only thing that kept them from making the request before was the possibility of angering Squall. They think she's enchanted him, just the way Ultimecia did Seifer. Garden is a powder keg - if we bring Rinoa in here, it could blow." 

"We could still pick them up in Ragnarok," said Selphie. "They'd have the protection of its armaments and speed then." 

"And you'd get to go flying," added Quistis. "But the truth of the matter is that the only places a ship like Ragnarok could refuel are Esthar, FH, and Garden itself. Garden is most secure but we can't risk leaving Rinoa around the SeeDs until we've calmed them down. And as for the other two, there's only one place in each location they could refuel. Seifer could probably watch both locations and just wait till Ragnarok runs out of power." 

"So having those two run around on foot, without even a GF to summon, is safer?" asked Irvine. "'Scuse me, but that sounds like bull to me. There's got to be something we can do." 

"Selphie and I can't leave Garden," said Quistis. "We have too much to do here, with the Garden in the state it's in. And we need Irvine's smooth tongue to convince the SeeDs that Rinoa is not a target. Zell...you're the only one of us we can spare. We can get someone to take over your kickboxing classes. You're welcome to as many GFs as you can junction. If you think three is any better than two if Seifer's up to trouble, you're welcome to go." 

"Damn straight I'll go," growled Zell. "Nobody else can, and we've gotta do something. I'll make sure they're ok, you can count on me!" 

Selphie grinned. "I can help this much; I can take you right to 'em in the Ragnarok. At least, as soon as we know exactly where they are." 

Xu frowned. "Squall's reports are the bare minimum required by protocol. If it were anyone else I'd say he was hiding something, but..." she shrugged. "Anyway, I know they've left Esthar and are headed for Winhill. But they could take any course they wanted for that. And I'm going to have to alert them to the possibility of attack, which means they'll be even harder to track." 

"Won't they have to cross the Horizon Bridge?" asked Quistis. "We could just wait for them to show up there." 

Xu shook her head. "Quistis, between Rinoa's magic and Squall's survival skills, those two could cross the ocean on a log if they wanted to. If they know they could be targeted - and I have to tell them, as we have no idea how long it will take Seifer to act or whether we can get to them first - then the very first thing they're going to do is either cross that bridge very very quickly or alter their plans so they don't cross it at all. The Horizon Bridge is a narrow, easily sealed-off route; they won't want to take the risk of attack while crossing it. It would be worse than shooting a flare saying 'here we are'. I don't have Squall's trust the way you guys do, but every SeeD knows what he can do. The only way we'd find them on the Horizon Bridge is if they're on it right now. Which we really shouldn't hope for." 

"I'll check the Bridge first then," said Selphie. "If you think they might have reached it by now. Then I'll check south of Esthar City. By the sound of things we ought to move fast." 

Quistis nodded. "Seifer and anyone with him may have had as much as a full day to act on whatever knowledge they acquired. On the chance they were after something else, Xu and I will keep looking at the communications logs. If we find anything, we'll let you know. Irvine, if things get ugly we may need to be able to bring Rinoa within the walls of Garden safely. Get busy on those SeeDs, will you?" 

"No problem," said Irvine, tipping a finger to his hat. "See you." And he strode out. 

"We'll get going too," said Selphie. Zell jumped up to follow her out, towards the parking garage. 

Quistis and Xu looked at the wreckage of her office. It looked like a particularly vicious party had taken place there. "Something for the Disciplinary Committee to hand out as a punishment," commented Quistis. "I don't like being caged here, but I have to admit being Headmaster has its advantages." 

Xu laughed. "Let's get at those logs," she said. "If there is something worse that those three could do, I want to know about it." 

* * * * * * *

It was possible that the Horizon Bridge was the loneliest place on the planet. Anywhere outside the cities was lonely, as only the hardiest could make a home in monster-infested territory, but on the Horizon Bridge there was...nothing. Monsters left it alone as there was nothing for any of its prey to survive on along the deserted tracks, and the narrow expanse was too confining for the majority of them. People left it alone because the trains had stopped running and crossing the entire expanse on foot could take months or more, and there was only one city anywhere near it. The only form of life that had adopted the Bridge were the gulls, who used it as a nesting place and a handy perch from which to watch the waves. And even they didn't stay longer than they had to. 

To Rinoa, it was paradise. There were no enemies to fight, and the chest-high walls that bordered the Bridge easily blocked any breezes at need. And in the quiet of the waves crashing against the Bridge's supports, there was Squall's company. Occasionally he would still test her on SeeD protocols, just to keep her memory fresh, but she had apparently learned enough - and well enough - to satisfy him. Having no other duties to hide behind, Squall fell often into silence. Rinoa had begun using the silences to draw him out of himself. She knew that he was an introvert by nature, but she also knew that he hated being alone with his thoughts too much. Here on the Bridge, with no other distractions to draw him out of his thoughts, she was able to draw him into conversation about a variety of topics. She was even learning to interpret his silences, learning when he could be drawn into speaking and when he really did want to think something over. At the moment, he was willing to talk - so Rinoa decided to try prying information out of him. 

"Squall...will you tell me about your dreams?" 

He blinked. "What do you mean?" 

"I mean what you dream of, at night." 

He looked puzzled. "I don't dream. Where did you get that idea?" 

Rinoa smiled. "I'm surprised you don't remember. You've almost brought the tent down on us more than once, and you talk in your sleep." 

"This isn't going to be one of those times when you see how far you can annoy me, is it?" he said. "Look - I don't remember this happening. I know I've woken up in the middle of the night before, but I thought that was because I heard something." 

"You did. Your voice, for one," replied Rinoa. "You've woken yourself up that way quite a few times." 

Squall sighed. "All right, if I talk in my sleep - what do I say? And don't you dare say you're not going to tell me." 

Rinoa shrugged. "Not a lot that's made sense to me so far," she said. "But I think it's a recurring dream. You're _sure_ you don't remember this?" 

"Not a bit," replied Squall, but he looked worried. "Since this is probably why you've been so tired the past few days, why don't you tell me what's been going on?" 

"Um," said Rinoa. _How do I tell him what he does in his sleep? I mean, it's him, shouldn't he know?_ "Well...you start tossing and turning," she said, trying to find words that didn't sound silly. "I've seen you claw the air around you with your hands...you'll just get worse until you say something and wake yourself up, or I touch you. For some reason if I touch you, you just stop everything." 

Squall frowned. "Claw? Like I have no weapon?" 

"Yes!" smiled Rinoa. "You are remembering?" 

He shook his head. "No..." he said, worried. "What do I say? In these dreams?" 

"Well...in Esthar you said "you will not have us forever" or something like that. I've heard "we grow stronger", too, and "We will fight you." 

Squall's frown deepened. "We? I'm fighting something without a weapon and I'm saying 'we'? I don't like this." 

Rinoa blinked. "Yes," she said, thinking it over. "You've always referred to yourself as 'we'. Never 'I'. I would have mentioned this sooner, but I just couldn't believe you didn't know this. I mean, it's _your_ dreams. I thought you just weren't ready to talk about it." 

"No, I- _duck_!" he cried, throwing himself flat on the ground and dragging Rinoa down with him. Bullets struck the concrete supports near where they had been walking. Shortly afterward, an airplane buzzed the Bridge, and soldiers climbed over the walls. 

Galbadian soldiers. They had to have been waiting for them, but the only excuse for not noticing the airplane was mental preoccupation. Squall swore under his breath; he'd gotten complacent. There were soldiers on all sides. "Back to back," he snapped curtly. "Go for quantity." 

Rinoa stood and did as he bade, her eyes glowing with sorcerous power. As Squall leaped forward, swinging LionHeart wildly, she summoned a tornado to whirl some of the soldiers off the Bridge. 

Combat training took over, and the movements of the pair were in perfect harmony as they fought...but gradually they were separated by sheer press of numbers. Squall couldn't see Rinoa any more, though he could still feel the wind of her spells and see the flashes of lightning she summoned. As long as he knew she was still fighting, he wouldn't worry. 

Then he saw Seifer, and realized the odds had tipped against them. The soldiers, numerous as they were, couldn't take him or Rinoa down...but Seifer was almost a match for Squall just by himself. Seifer plus dozens of soldiers and probably Fujin and Raijin...this was _bad_. 

Seifer smirked, that I'm-gonna-kick-your-ass look plastered across his features. "C'mon, puberty boy," he grinned. "Wanna save your girlfriend? I got her now." 

_Seifer was after Rinoa!_ Without thinking twice, Squall charged into the attack, fighting like a madman. After a time, Seifer was pressed back...but if anything his grin widened. 

"You've improved," he said in a voice dripping with wicked humor. "Pity it doesn't matter." 

At that moment, Squall felt the jabs of half a dozen needles in his back, and the world went dark. Seifer nodded to the soldiers who had shot the tranquilizer darts. "Let's get him out of here, before the Sorceress knows what's going on," he ordered. 

The soldiers kept fighting Rinoa until Seifer got the unconscious Squall aboard a small water-plane under the bridge and took off. Then all of them who could retreated. 

There were many, many charred soldiers, and for a moment Rinoa was wondering what was going on. Soldiers didn't retreat, they fought. But they had run...she looked around. 

"Squall?" she called. He had been here just a moment ago, she was sure she'd heard his gunblade firing... 

The only living human on the Horizon Bridge was Rinoa. Search as she might - and she eventually resorted to throwing every body off the Bridge to make sure - there was no sign of Squall, or where he might have gone. She looked up; there was a small plane flying south. Looking down, she saw a transport craft move out from under the Bridge and follow it to the Galbadian shore. She was tempted to call the lightning down upon it until it sank. But what if Squall were on that boat? He could be on either the boat or the plane, and she had no way of knowing which. Alone, and frightened for Squall, she began to cry. 

Another roar overhead brought her hands up, ready to strike it down. She lowered her hands when she realized it was the Ragnarok....just those precious few minutes too late. It quickly made a delicate, makeshift landing that propped it on the Bridge's side-walls. The exit ramp lowered as far as it could, but when Zell bounded out it was still five feet above the ground. 

"What the...?" he said, looking around. "Hell it looks worse down here than it did up there! What happened? Where's Squall?" 

Rinoa tried to do Squall's teaching credit. She managed to hold her voice steady as she said, "Galbadian soldiers, too many for me to count. We fought but they separated us...and they took Squall." 

"They what?" Zell cried. "We thought they were after _you_! We tried to get here to warn you -" 

"They weren't after me, Zell," Rinoa said sadly. "I think Squall thought that too...which made it easier for them to take him. I saw a plane fly south, and a transport craft head west. I don't know which one Squall would be on. Zell, we've got to get him back! Why would anyone kidnap Squall?" 

Zell's normally cheerful expression soured. "We know who's behind this, Rin," he said. "Raijin and Fujin planted a bug in Garden a few days ago. We're sure Seifer's behind this." 

Rinoa's eyes started to glow again as she digested that. "I'm going to kill him," she said in a voice so toneless it screamed her grief. "Squall wanted us to leave him alone, said he wouldn't do any harm away from Ultimecia! I'm going to kill him, Zell. I'm going to make Seifer regret the day he was born." 

This little speech didn't have a reassuring effect on Zell. If anything, it made his skin crawl. He managed a, "Yeah, well get in line," but the sight of the normally sunny and carefree Rinoa promising torture and death with eyes that glowed with power took all the bluster out of his words. "C'mon, Rinoa," he said. "We've got to tell Garden what's happened." 


	12. Breaking Point

## Breaking Point

He couldn't move, he couldn't open his eyes, he couldn't _feel_. Squall was no stranger to bouts of melancholy where such things might occur, but this felt different. For one thing, he didn't feel sad. Or even that strange empty emotionlessness that sometimes came over him. Somewhere, he was sure, he should be very very angry. But the only emotion that penetrated the numbness and fog was a vague curiosity. 

He was vaguely aware of a heaviness in his head, a pain in his stomach. Then something changed, and there was pain all down his back, and on the back of his head. Vaguely, he felt this might mean he'd been dropped on something - but he didn't remember being carried, and couldn't seem to care much. He heard clicking footsteps, but the sound kept fading in and out so he had no idea where they were coming from. Then a voice, soft and feminine...concerned? 

"Seifer, you ass," she said. "I gave you permission to injure him, not to trank him to death. How many shots did you use?" 

The part of Squall's mind that could still think was wondering why the words were so angry when the tone was so gentle and concerned. The dichotomy was...disconcerting. 

"Six," came the reply. He knew that voice, didn't he? What had the woman called him? 

"Six," said the woman. "Two would have been more than enough, and you used three times that. He's no good to me dead, Seifer. Get Odine." 

More names he should know. But the harder he struggled for consciousness, the more control slipped away from him. Was there something going on?..... 

* * * * * * * * * *

Squall blinked, his eyes feeling as if they'd been closed so long they'd sealed themselves that way. Slowly, he shook his head to clear his thoughts. His head felt like it had been filled with lead, heavy and slow. 

Things began to register in his mind. The first was that he was looking at himself. Not his clothes, _himself_. He was in a standing position, and the only thing he was wearing was his LionHeart pendant? He looked around. No, not just the pendant. He also had Griever, still on his finger. But all the rest of his clothes were gone. He was chained upright, arms and legs spread so that he looked like a human X, completely nude save for his jewelry. 

This could not be a good sign. He tried to give the chains a tug, but there was no give. No give at all. The only part of his body he could truly move was his head. Otherwise there was only useless wriggling. 

Then he noticed the size of the room - huge - and the disturbing array of glass windows along every wall he could see. And alternating every window was a mirror. He could see the whole room. 

This was definitely not a good sign. Even the D-District prison had let him keep his clothes. Yet there was no sign of any racks of torture implements...not even syringes or latex gloves. 

They certainly hadn't allowed him to wake up like this to offer him waffles drenched in syrup. He was almost positive that whatever his captors had in mind, he wasn't going to like it. The only thing he could find worthy of hope in the whole mess was he couldn't see Rinoa. Whatever else happened, they didn't have Rinoa. 

"We did not want the Sorceress," came a melodic, feminine voice. "We wanted _you_. And we will have you for as long as we please, Squall Leonhart." 

This was the woman who had spoken before. As she entered the room, Squall could see that she had long brown hair, brown eyes, and a petite frame. She couldn't be more than five feet tall. She smiled sweetly, as though he were a guest at a manor house. She came right up next to him, almost close enough to touch. Involuntarily, Squall tried to move away and found again that he could not. 

"Don't touch me," he said before he thought. 

The little woman laughed, a sweet cheerful sound. "Such a beautiful boy," she said, and reached up to play with his hair. He jerked his head to one side, angrily. "Ah, so delicate. So _proud_. Did it wound your pride, Squall, when Rinoa had to rescue you from the time-compressed world?" 

She backed up, so that she did not have to look up so far to see his face. "Squall, you seem to misunderstand. I had you brought here; you will have nothing that I do not give you, experience nothing that I do not let you experience. It is not your place any longer to say what will and will not happen to you." 

_This woman is seriously crazed_, thought Squall. To his surprise, her eyes narrowed. 

"I am not crazy, Squall. You are hardly the one to make such judgements in any case, so lacking in courage as you are." 

_You can read thoughts?_ thought Squall carefully. 

"Much more than that," said the woman. "I can read everything in your mind, just as it happens. Everything you think, everything you feel, is open to me. Thus I know that you were lost in Time Compression because you lacked the courage to reach out with your whole heart. It rests in your mind, so I know it - even though I was not there." 

Squall blinked, trying to ignore the sting of her words to concentrate on their import. This was worse, much worse, than nudity. He had spent his whole life behind walls and masks and shells. Now, all at once, he had none. For the first time, a tendril of fear uncurled in his stomach. 

"I see you understand me," said the woman cheerfully. "You know the three parts of a living being? The mind, the body, and the soul? I can't touch your soul, unfortunately. And as a SeeD, you are trained to endure the punishment of the body. But the mind...ah, the mind. We all have our ghosts and demons, our fractures in the mind, do we not? I know where your fractures are, Squall." 

All at once she was within a breath of touching him again. Squall could sense her nearness and it was not in the least bit pleasing to him. He wanted nothing more in the world, right at that moment, than to push her away with all his strength. He shuddered with sudden revulsion. She looked up into his face and smiled beatifically, as though she were a lover coming in close for a snuggle. 

"Your mind I can break, Squall. And I will. Such a beautiful mind, so fragile. But do not worry, I will not allow you to die. You will live to see your Rinoa again." 

The woman stepped delicately toward the exit, but paused at the door. She turned back to face him, still smiling cheerfully. 

"And with any luck, you will kill her." 

_No..._thought Squall. _I will die first._

* * * * * * * *

_Don't touch me!_ rang in Squall's mind, over and over again. All around him were strangers of all descriptions, all of whom wanted nothing more than to lay their hands on him. Every hand, every finger, elbow, knee, arm, leg...every point of contact made Squall shiver. To him, every hand felt like the touch of a battery, sending unpleasant tingles radiating out from the point of contact. And there were uncounted hands, arms, bodies... 

He tried to use the SeeD techniques for handling physical torture, tried to retreat into his mind, or force himself to sleep or pass out, but every time _that woman_ would enter his mind and force him to feel every touch even more clearly than he already did, along with a pitying mental commentary on his emotional failings. Taunting he could have taken, insults he could have taken, but the gentle voice in his mind was only ever pitying, as though she expected more of him. There was no telling how long this had been happening, would be happening, _don't think about that_.... 

Alicia turned to Odine, who was watching the experiment with his entire attention. "When may we begin the tests?" she asked. 

Odine checked some figures on his clipboard. "He has remarkable endurance," he commented. "I vould haf thought him to lapse into unconsciousness hours ago." 

"That is my doing, Odine," said Alicia. "I am holding his mind here. He has been trying to escape that way for a few hours now, but I will not let him." 

Odine looked at her. "Then vy do you ask me ven ze tests begin? How is Odine to know ven he has reached his limit?" 

"We only need to know the limit of his strength for now, do we not?" she asked sweetly. "Has he exerted strength greater than the recorded limit?" 

Odine checked the readouts against his clipboard, and said, "No. He exerted his greatest strenkt...about two hours ago." 

Alicia looked out the observation window, and smiled. Squall was surrounded by a sea of strangers, all touching him anywhere they liked, as hard or soft as they liked. She could feel the revulsion in his mind as he tried to reject their nearness, their intimacy. But he could not move. After he'd bitten one of them, even his head had been immobilized. 

He had not yet said anything, though the growls were getting closer to cries or whimpers as the hours wore on. Nor had he wept. Alicia would not let him weep; that was part of his torture. She did not need to keep him from speaking. He knew as well as anyone that there was nothing he could say that would make any of them stop, or go away. As she touched his mind, she knew that he didn't even have any words to describe the violation he felt. She could hear his thoughts, trying to rationalize the touches, the bodies, the caresses, trying to come to terms with it as a test of courage, as Alicia had mentally prompted him to do. Other people touched all the time, right? But to Squall, touching another human being was an invasion, repugnant. There was no reason for it; it simply hurt on some level to touch another person's skin for any reason. Only Rinoa had ever even felt his hands, and Alicia's insinuations on his doubts concerning Rinoa had confused him even more. And now, an army of strangers could touch places much more private than just his fingers. The sensations were unbearable. 

She reached out to him with her mind, knowing he would feel her walking in his thoughts. If a mind could shudder, his did. At the edge of his consciousness, Alicia could hear the single as-yet-unvoiced scream that would signal his breaking. Slowly it was growing louder. 

He struggled, of course. The bonds chafed at his neck, his wrists, his ankles, but Alicia knew he was past noticing the pain. He struggled as fiercely as he could because there was no part of him that could conceive of not struggling, but he was growing weaker. She would not let his mind retreat into sleep, or unconsciousness, and this had been going on all day. She smiled at him, knowing he was past seeing anything but the mass of bodies all around him, his thoughts a jumble trying to deal with the physical invasion as well as the mental one. A lion, indeed, even if he did think of himself as a wolf. She laughed softly to herself. _A wolf, a lone wolf. Wolves touch much more often than Squall, and have more faith in their pack._

She turned to Odine. "I think perhaps he is ready for the tests," she said. "Have you chosen a subject?" 

Odine smiled and nodded. "Oh yes," he said. "I am thinkink maybe Carbuncle? Somezink he could not use to escape, you see." 

The faintest hint of a frown pulled at Alicia's face. "You told me the bonds are strong enough to hold the Sorceress," she said. 

"Zey are," said Odine. "I simply vish to start small. Ve vill haf time for ze more...dramatic GFs later." 

"We only have a few days, Odine," she said. "The SeeDs will come looking for him as soon as they know he is missing, and I do not want them finding me yet." 

Odine dismissed this with a wave of his hand. "I vill have ze strongest GFs for him ven he is mentally ready," he said. "If it is time to release him, a simple transmitter vill inform us of his progress. Zey cannot track a receiver." 

Alicia nodded. "Very well, Odine." She turned back to her observation of Squall. He was trying to retreat into his thoughts again, trying to refuse the situation he was in. Ruthlessly she used her power to haul him back into himself, forcing him to feel every touch, dropping thoughts into his mind insinuating he was weak for trying to hide from them. She could see his muscles straining as he tried once again to break out of his bonds, fresh desperation spurring him on. She knew he could feel her in his mind. She didn't even need to read his thoughts to know how much that terrified him. 

She smiled as she contemplated his pale, leanly muscled frame, knowing that not even Rinoa had been allowed to see and touch where every person in her complex now saw and touched. Such a reserved little star. Such a beautiful boy. Even when he reached thirty, he would still look so much like a boy. She supposed it was the lack of furriness. That didn't bother her a bit; she had never been fond of hairy chests, legs or backs. Thinking of that, she sighed and closed her eyes. It was but the smallest twist of her power to lock Squall in the moment. She could leave him now and attend to her other duties, and he would not know anything but that one second, replayed over and over in his mind. 

She pressed a button that signaled to the people in the room they could take a break. As they filed out, she noted that some of them had had rather more fun with Squall than they should have. She noted their identities; no one had been told they could play - only tease. But that would have to be later. 

She walked past several rooms in the long corridor. Her complex had once been a series of caves, but she had had them refined into a proper underground residence. She came to the door she wanted and entered the room. Inside was a large opaque tank with some tubes coming out. The metal of the tank limited her power at any distance. After making sure the connections were properly filled or emptied of various substances, she laid her hand on the tank's wall. 

_Alicia, let me out, please! I can't feel anything, hear anything, see anything please talk to me let me out please! I'll do anything you want, anything anything..._

She smiled, but did not grace the mental voice with a reply. Seifer was so much Squall's opposite. Where Squall loathed human contact, Seifer required it. Where Squall was reserved and introverted, Seifer was reckless and impulsive. It even extended to their physical appearance; Squall a pale star beside Seifer's burning sun, each with that scar across the forehead and nose. It was fascinating; Alicia was almost tempted to include Seifer in the tests, just to compare the results. Hmm. She would have to discuss that with Odine. 

But Seifer had pushed his orders too far this time, bringing Squall near to death with that tranquilizer overdose. It had taken precious hours to counteract the effect. Seifer needed punishment, and sensory deprivation was as terrifying to Seifer as touch was to Squall. Still, Seifer was hers. She would let him out...perhaps tomorrow morning. 

She would not want the burning sun to fade. 

Alicia smiled and continued on her rounds. 

* * * * * * * *

The tests had begun. 

Squall had still had presence of mind enough to recognize the ridiculous costume of Doctor Odine when they began. The idea of Odine injecting him with something - for Squall could see the syringe - had put him into a blind panic; Odine had no regard for human life whatsoever when he was performing his 'experiments', and the woman who had promised he would live had said nothing about the _kind_ of life she would leave him. But the chains held, as they always did, holding hands and feet and head immobile. He had agility enough to squirm, and that was it. At least his tormentors were sent away - briefly - when Odine entered the room. 

Some of his tormentors laughed when he squirmed. But Squall was damned if he was just going to stand there and do _nothing_ in protest. A real case of damned-if-you-do, damned-if-you-don't. He tried not to remember, but he was losing control of his thoughts. He wondered why it didn't matter _where_ he was touched. He knew most people simply didn't like being touched in the groin or the chest, but were okay with things like hugs or handshakes. Squall kept everything covered for the simple reason that to him there was no difference between a nipple or an elbow. _Everything_ was sensitive. It had always been that way. Clothes were a necessary part of his shield. _You will not see me, you cannot touch me, you can't hurt me..._

But they could. They could see everything, even his thoughts. They could touch everything, even his thoughts. And they were hurting everything, all the way into the private corners of his mind. Desperately he tried to focus on the real world, tried to see what Odine held... 

Squall had no idea what was in the syringes. He knew Odine wouldn't tell him, either. It would ruin the experiment for Squall to know what was happening to his body. There was no part of him these people weren't going to try to claim. 

They all felt different, anyway. The first time it had almost been soothing. The hands of his tormentors hadn't bothered him as much for about an hour after that. It had felt like there was a thin shield between his body and their hands. The brown-eyed woman had not liked that at all. She'd made up for it by invading his mind and intensifying the moments until they hurt at least as much as before. When the whatever-it-was had worn off (and unfortunately this was when a particularly brutish man had grabbed him from behind) it had been all Squall could do to bite back the scream he knew the woman was waiting for. 

They had not given him that injection again. 

The injections had gotten progressively more painful as time went on, such that the only things Squall registered were the brief seconds he was left alone as Odine administered the shots, and the degree of physical pain afterward that - combined with the gradually more invasive brutality of his tormentors, and Alicia's gentle, persistent insinuations - brought him closer and closer to the brink of that madness not even the brown-eyed woman could haul him back from. 

* * * * * * * * *

It was time. 

After 72 hours of non-stop degradation, humiliation, contact, Squall had cracked. Alicia had been waiting for hours for this, knowing it was near, knowing she had only one chance to achieve her goal, deftly playing on Squall's increasing doubts of himself to bring the moment closer. She had removed the restrictions she had placed on her assistants; they could play with him as roughly as they liked - and some of them were very rough indeed. Alicia found such crude methods distasteful, but she could not deny that the effect on Squall had been devastating. She wondered if rape was worse on the male mind than on the female; it was something she had never had an opportunity to test, but there certainly seemed to be an additional shock involved. Men were never raised to believe rape was a possibility. Squall no longer thought of himself as a lion, or a wolf, or even worthy as a human being. A worthy human being would not have doubted Rinoa, would not have been trapped in the time-compressed world, would not have lost faith, would not have needed to be rescued from that world as he needed to be rescued from this. Nor would a worthy human being be tormented by the touch of another human being. He was hanging on to sanity by the thinnest of threads; all that remained to him was that he had not yet screamed. 

Alicia let her henchmen use their private toy collections on him. And Squall screamed. 

Alicia locked him into that precise moment, that tiny space wherein all that defined Squall Leonhart was shattered into uncounted pieces. He would relive those seconds over and over for as long as she pleased. 

Locked into that 'present', that 'now', Squall had no knowledge of anything going on around him. Alicia dismissed her assistants to their quarters for much-needed rest. Then she sent guards to lock the doors of those who had gone beyond her instructions. She would not bother breaking them; she had another purpose in mind. 

She turned back to Squall, smiling sweetly. He still struggled against his chains. There was no longer any connection between his mind and his body, and his body had been trained as a warrior. 

That was why she had wanted him. Well. One reason, anyway. Gently, delicately, she kissed his face, standing on tiptoe to reach it. It was a motherly kiss, a sisterly kiss. She had admired his endurance, but she'd never been much attracted to the moody types. Their allure was their mystery, and with her power they had none. Still...he was quite a beautiful boy, even with his body covered in the bruises of his tormentors and the periodic injections. Beauty, pure beauty, was so rare in men. She sighed. A pity she could not have a statue made, to admire it. But Seifer would not understand, and she still had use for Seifer. 

She left the room and called Odine, who was delighted to know that the tests could enter the second phase. 

"All results are excellent," he enthused. "The diluted injections increased his strengkt fourfold, und faded exactly as ve hoped. Vich GF vere you zinkink ve should infuse him vit?" 

"Leviathan," said Alicia. "The area hereabouts is in need of water, and it would be nice to see it bloom." 

Odine raised an eyebrow at her, as if he found it hard to believe she would care about flowers. But he didn't object, merely ran his hands over a rack of vials until he located the one he wanted. When he pulled it out, Alicia could see a swirling, glowing, blue material inside. 

"I shall gif him less zan ze dose reqvired for permanency," said Odine. "Ve shall vait to test zat on Seifer." 

Alicia nodded. "How long will this less than permanent dose last?" 

Odine shrugged. "Zere is no vay to know," he said. "Zat is vy ve experiment." He filled a syringe from the vial, and trotted into the chamber where Squall was held. 

Alicia smiled to herself. There was no way to know if this injection would be more painful than the others. It was undiluted essence, but it was still less than what their theories said was needed to make the effect permanent. She wondered if it would have been wiser to begin before Squall had broken; they would at least know if it would hurt. 

She dismissed such regrets. She had assistants enough who were in need of punishment. And a single human could only bear so much. Besides, Squall's tolerance for pain had to be well above the norm, or he would not have become a SeeD. 

Odine jabbed the syringe into Squall's bruised body and injected the blue essence. His body reacted by increasing its struggles. Alicia watched the readouts. Yes...he was much stronger now. Stronger than the diluted version had made him, also. But they had expected that. She indicated the readouts to Odine as he returned. He clapped and rubbed his hands together excitedly. "Oh, go pick your target, Alicia," he murmured. "Zis is goink so vell, so vell!" 

Alicia nodded, just as pleased as Odine was. She took a few guards, and walked down the corridors until she came to a room occupied by an assistant she needed to punish. The occupant turned out to be a large man, but he was backed against the wall, terrified of Alicia. 

"You knew I would find your transgressions, Jek," Alicia said softly, sadly. "You knew I had said you were not to play with him yet. Why did you disobey me?" 

"It was just a momentary lapse, Alicia, I swear!" babbled the man. "It's been so long, and he was so pretty..." 

Alicia looked sad. "You knew those things before you abused him, Jek," she said gently. "You could have refused the assignment if you knew it was more than you could handle. You knew, also, that I would eventually give permission for you to play with him as you wanted. All you needed was patience. I am disappointed in you, Jek." 

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," babbled the huge man, crying hysterical tears. 

"I will not tolerate disobedience, Jek," said Alicia softly, gently. "But I will give you a chance to redeem yourself. Come with me." 

Jek happily followed her back to the lab, grateful to have escaped her displeasure. When she returned to the control station, she noted that Squall had started shaking violently. She frowned. "Is he rejecting the infusion, Odine?" 

"No, no, it iz not zat," said Odine. "His body, it iz adapting, zat is all. Look at ze readouts - you see?" As Alicia did so, she saw what Odine meant. His strength and endurance had exponentially increased, and the rest of his body was trying to cope with the increased power. All was indeed well. She turned to Jek. 

"You will dress him, Jek," she said, "and you will be forgiven." Her assistant immediately reached into the locker where all that Squall had had on him when captured was stored. When he had an armful, he darted into the room where Squall was held. 

Once inside, Alicia pressed the button that sealed the door behind him. Then she turned to Odine. "Ready," was all she said. 

Odine pressed a sequence of switches. The chains that held Squall immobile immediately released and retracted into the floor and ceiling. Squall was free. 

The first thing he did was leap at Jek like a wild animal, fist swinging. The enhancement of his strength meant that Jek would be hurled some distance, but the room was large. 

As the punch connected, a torrent of water erupted from Squall's fist as though it were bursting from a firehose. The pressure of the torrent threw Jek against the wall hard enough to leave a trail of blood, which was quickly washed away. 

Squall moaned and fell to his knees, arms wrapped around his chest. 

In the control room, Odine was delighted. "Complete success," he said happily. "You saw? He summoned ze force of Leviathan vithout junctioning!" 

"I note that he is also not doing anything much at the moment," said Alicia. "If the power is so incapacitating, it is no good to us." 

"Oh, zat is just momentary veakness," dismissed Odine. "Look, even now he begins to recover. Vith a fully healthy subject, ve should not see zat veakness at all." 

Alicia considered that, and nodded. She turned to her guards, and told them to bring all the others among her assistants who needed punishment. Squall would be released with the power of Leviathan in him, to wreak whatever havoc he would on the deserted continent. With any luck, his friends would find him before the power faded, and he would do some of Alicia's job for her. 

As she watched the assistants take the full brunt of Squall's rage as they tried to dress him, she smiled again. So far, he had killed seven of the fifteen she had chosen, some being hit with that water strike, and a few simply torn limb from limb. She would not have bothered with clothing him - he was no longer aware of himself in any case - but she wanted him to look just as he always had when his friends found him. It would lull them into coming close, and he would then attack them with surprise on his side. 

Once Squall was dressed, and released, they would try the permanent version on Seifer, Raijin, and Fujin, a reward for their service. 

When the Sorceress came to claim vengeance, she would be taken easily. 


	13. Search and Siezure

# Search and Seizure

It was hard, very hard just then, to fill the role of a SeeD. 

Rinoa had managed to keep her voice calm and steady as she repeated her report over the Ragnarok's radio, and she had answered every question put to her as clearly as she could. Running through her mind was the belief that Squall had been taken because he was her Knight - and if that were the case, she owed it to him to be the perfect subordinate SeeD to effect his rescue. The Sorceress could not command SeeD. But SeeD would defend its own, avenge its own... 

But it was only a shell, a mask she put on. Rinoa did not feel like a SeeD. She felt like a bereaved mate. Thankfully, both roles were in agreement on what to do; get Squall back. They just didn't agree on how. 

Zell was unusually subdued as he filled SeeD in on what he knew and had observed from the air. When the reports were finished, Xu's voice came over the radio: 

"Pursue the large transport vessel first. Since we don't know which vessel Squall is on, we will kill two birds with one stone and find out whether this was an operation of the Galbadian military or an independent action." 

"Understood," said Zell and turned the Ragnarok west. 

"Identify docking port and report to Garden. Backup will be provided." 

"Understood," Zell repeated, and switched the radio off. He turned to Rinoa. "Look, I'm sorry," he said. "Selphie and I got here as fast as we could..." 

Selphie nodded in agreement. "Raijin and Fujin planted a bug in Garden - when you guys checked in they knew where to look for you. Xu sent you a warning, but I guess it arrived too late." 

Rinoa said nothing. She couldn't trust her voice to be recognizable past the lump in her throat. The warning was probably going to show up tonight. Somehow knowing Squall had been the soldiers' target all along was frightening. _She_ was the sorceress, the traditional enemy of the world. Squall was a SeeD, a _hero_. Why would they want him, unless it was because of her? 

To her surprise, Zell put a gentle hand on her shoulder. "We'll get him back, Rinoa," he said. "I've known Squall for years, it'd take a lot to keep him down." 

_I must look really upset if Zell is trying to comfort me,_ thought Rinoa. _Usually he's all gung-ho 'let's go kick ass'_. But when she looked into his face, she could tell that Zell was just as worried as she was. Squall was his best friend. She swallowed hard, and tried her best to put the SeeD mask back in place. 

"Any luck on the transport?" she said, and was pleased to find her voice held steady. 

"Got it!" said Selphie. "I'm radioing Garden now, to let 'em know where it is." 

"What if Squall's not there?" said Rinoa. "How do we find the plane?" 

Selphie looked unconcerned. "You said it flew off to the south," she said. "Well, there's only a few places a plane as small as you described could reach to the south. We can check them, see if it refueled and took off again...don't worry. We can find it." She smiled, the fierce smile that said she was thinking of bringing out the Big Guns. "We'll get him back, too." 

_We'll get him back_, they both said. But it didn't sound convincing. If Squall were not on the boat - and it would take precious days to make sure he wasn't - then the trail of the plane would be cold. With Seifer involved (and how had she missed seeing him in the attack? Had he taken part? Surely Seifer would not have been an observer to such a fight...) there was no way to know which trail was the true one. He, too, had had SeeD training. 

"Can we check both paths at once?" she asked. "Just in case?" 

"There's only one Ragnarok," said Selphie. "Sure we can leave Garden to search the transport now, if you want. Squall was your assigned partner; you can decide where we go and no one will argue. But the ship might be a bit much for Garden to handle alone." 

Zell stood up and started pacing. "No, Rinoa's right," he said. "We gotta try to track them both. If we leave the plane too long we'll never find it. Let's go after the plane ourselves; the Ragnarok can outfly anything with you at the helm, Selphie." 

"And you think the three of us can handle whatever's at the other end?" she asked. "We want to _rescue_ Squall, not join him. Tell you what; Garden wanted to give us backup - we'll wait long enough to pick whoever they're sending up, and then we'll go. Okay?" Her face fell. "I'm worried too," she said, "but I want to be sure we can get him out. They sent a transport of soldiers just against him and Rinoa. There's no telling what they have wherever they're taking him to." 

_...If he doesn't come back, don't even try coming back yourself. We'll still be here for you, but the rest of SeeD will not.  
Either both of us, or neither of us. If he goes down, it's because I'm already dead..._

But here she was, alive and well, and Squall taken. And she was going to wait for backup from Garden, when she wanted nothing more than to find Seifer and unleash every ounce of Sorceress' magic upon him. Never before in her life had she felt such a desire to _hurt_ someone. 

A hand touched her shoulder, startling her. "Hey, Rinoa?" asked Zell. "You okay?" 

_No, I'm not,_ Rinoa wanted to say. _Squall was taken and I should have seen which vehicle they took him away in but I didn't and now I don't know if we'll be able to find him. How could I be okay?_

But what actually came out of her mouth was, "I'll be all right, Zell. Who are they sending as backup?" 

Selphie answered from the cockpit, saying, "Zell's girlfriend - her name's Bella - and some guy Quistis says Squall thought highly of. She has to stay in Garden since there's a chance of a fight, or she'd come herself." She rolled her eyes. "We're to provide really _really _detailed reports so Quistis doesn't get upset. And Irvine's got to calm the SeeDs down in case we have to take you back inside Garden." 

"Has it gotten that bad?" Rinoa asked, surprised. "I thought that was one reason we were hiking all over the planet in the first place." 

"It was, but we didn't know just how much they resented your being there, Rinoa," said Selphie. "Xu got flooded with requests to join 'the mission against the Sorceress' almost as soon as she took the job of Commander. They didn't ask Squall because they thought you'd enchanted him, see." Selphie shrugged, as though she couldn't understand why people would think such silly things. 

_So Quistis had been speaking a literal truth, thought Rinoa. I may be a SeeD, but SeeD really doesn't want me. Should I really be trying to fit that mold then? _

But it's for Squall. What would it do to him, if I let a fight start where he had to choose between me and the training that's been his life? I can't do that. And SeeD really does have the best interests of the world at heart, it's just they don't know me yet that's all, I mean I _thought I was a danger at first too..._

"Well, if Bella and this other guy can help, I guess we can use all we can get," said Rinoa sadly. But how badly she wanted to use her sorceress' gift to spread her wings and fly... 

* * * * * * * *

In the end, they lost one day waiting for Garden to arrive in position. There was a brief meeting with a very worried Quistis as she assured them that everything about the transport would be checked, down to how many mice were hiding in the hold. For safety's sake, Rinoa did not leave the Ragnarok. Irvine reported that those SeeDs who were most against the Sorceress were of the mind that she had done something to Squall herself, and were spreading a new level of fear around Garden. Xu was doing what she could to calm the situation, but no one wanted to push matters. Their two new team-mates were ushered on board as quickly as possible while the Ragnarok topped off its fuel supply, then they took off. 

Rinoa found herself wishing Irvine and Quistis could have come; she knew them and trusted them, but these two SeeDs she had only ever seen in the distance and she had no idea how to feel about them. But surely Xu would not have chosen them if they had expressed distrust of her? 

"Um, hi," she said, with a creditable SeeD salute. "I'm Rinoa." 

"Bella," said that one, and "Georg" turned out to be the name of the other. Rinoa recognized him as another of Zell's circle - the one who had taken the challenge the day Squall showed her the chutes. Apparently he'd made SeeD. Zell gave him a hearty thumping on the back in hello, and a much gentler hug for Bella. 

"Boy, aren't you the lucky one," said Selphie. "You get your friend and your girlfriend, but I gotta leave Irvine behind." She pouted. "You owe me one for this, Zell." 

"What?" deadpanned Zell. "_I_ didn't pick them, Xu did. I didn't even make any recommendations, I don't have the rank. I just happen to know lots of really good people!" and he grinned happily. Bella blushed fiercely and pretended she hadn't heard, but Georg beamed; Zell was his Instructor. 

"The only place a small plane has a chance of refueling south of FH is Winhill," said Selphie, getting back on track. "And that's way out of the way, to the west. Rinoa are you _sure_ the plane flew south?" 

Rinoa nodded. "Positive. I've always had a good sense of direction," she said. "The plane flew straight south." 

Selphie shook her head in disbelief. "The only place that plane could hope to land is Centra, on a straight south course," she said. "And there's nothing there. No cities, no stations, _nothing_." 

"It may be a decoy, then," said Zell. "If it flew straight it could be autopiloted and empty, they could let it run out of fuel and crash." 

"It would also be a perfect place to hide," said Rinoa. "We really can't tell for sure which it is until we find the plane, or its wreckage." 

"Or Quistis gives us a definite report on the transport," offered Selphie. "We'll just have to start combing Centra for signs of wreckage or an installation." 

Much as she wanted to be the one to find Squall, Rinoa had to hope that he had been taken on board the transport. The transport was slower, and easier to track and keep track of. 

* * * * * * * *

Quistis carefully set her pen down. She'd noted everything useful Rinoa had had to say, but she still wanted to strangle the girl. 

She couldn't help but think that if Squall had fallen in love with a SeeD this would be much, much easier. How could Rinoa have not noticed them hauling away her partner? 

Quistis got a grip on herself. Just because she couldn't have Squall, that was no reason to take it out on Rinoa. It had always been Squall's choice; Rinoa would not have had a chance if Squall had not wanted her. And she couldn't help having had a family, any more than she, Quistis, could have helped being an orphan. And it was plain the girl was trying, at least. But now there were two options to explore, possibly more, in determining which way the abductors had gone. 

She got the transport ship. It had not docked at any port; it had beached along an uninhabited stretch of Galbadian coastline. Her mission was to make sure Squall was either recovered from it or conclusively proven to have never been on it. 

Her mission. Yes. That made it easier. _Just think of it as a standard mission, and everything will be fine._ She'd be no use to Squall if she couldn't think straight. 

There was no sign of exit from the ship; no soldiers had left. This was probably because they'd seen Garden bearing down on them. Word of Timber might have spread among the Galbadian troops by now. _Or they could just be waiting for a good moment to attack._

Thinking of that, Quistis turned to Xu. "Think we should send the cadets in again?" she asked. 

Xu shook her head. "The SeeDs are chafing; we're not under contract here, we're on a rescue mission. And I for one want to make sure this is done right the first time." 

Quistis smiled. "I was hoping you'd see it that way," she said. "Proving a negative is so hard if you miss the first opportunity. And we have to face the possibility that he might not be here." 

Xu checked the scans of the ship. "They haven't left, but we see no signs of weapons. It's just a carrier, they usually rely on other ships for protection. What are they waiting for?" 

Quistis increased the magnification of the scans. Seeing a dust cloud rising in the distance, she said, "Probably _that._" 

"We're on green fields here," said Xu worriedly. "To kick up a cloud like that it's big. We'd better move in now, to have control of the transport by the time they arrive." 

"Selphie's on the Ragnarok," said Quistis, "But I'm not such a bad shot myself. I'll back you up from here." 

Xu nodded and left the bridge, off to grab some SeeDs and get them out there. It took about fifteen minutes, and then Quistis saw Xu leading a contingent of about two score SeeDs to the transport. In a matter of moments they'd managed to break the steel doors open. There was no resistance. 

The dust cloud resolved into tanks. Where did Galbadia get the money for so many tanks? It didn't matter. Quistis powered up the weapons array, leveled the guns in the direction of the tanks. _Just a little closer...._

"Galbadian military to Balamb Garden. Galbadian military to Balamb Garden. Do you copy Balamb?" 

Quistis blinked. They wanted to talk? Quickly she flicked the transmitter to life. "Balamb Garden here, this is Headmaster Quistis." 

"Colonel Shrowid here, for General Caraway," came the reply. "We'd like to know how you found our defectors and what you're planning to do with them." 

Well. That answered one question. 

"Colonel Shrowid, these soldiers were involved in the abduction of our previous Commander not long ago. We are attempting to ascertain his whereabouts." 

There was a scuffle at the other end of the line, then a new voice said, "Quistis - they took Squall? Is Rinoa all right? This is Caraway." 

"General Caraway, Rinoa is fine. She is assisting in the search elsewhere. What can you tell us about these soldiers and why aren't they fighting?" 

"About a week ago a bunch of soldiers who'd served directly under Seifer took off without warning. We've been searching for them, or word of them, ever since. We got word from FH yesterday that Galbadian soldiers were seen in FH," and the tone of his voice implied FH had been quite vocal about it, "so we started searching around here. When we saw Garden we were sure they were involved. And it looks like we were right." 

Quistis watched as the SeeDs methodically brought the soldiers out, hands tied behind their backs. Very few looked to have put up any kind of a fight. This made no sense at all. "Why aren't they resisting capture, General?" she asked. 

"Because if they resist they will be executed for treason. This way, some will be discharged, and some will probably end up in therapy. I won't believe a word of it, but regulations say if they're coerced by magic they can't be discharged. It's a difficult claim to disprove." Caraway sounded like he would personally make any soldier using that tactic regret the decision. 

Another comlink flashed, and Quistis opened it to hear "We've got all the soldiers," from Xu. "Little resistance, no sign of Squall as yet. I'll check the logbooks. What news on the military?" 

"Seems they're on our side," said Quistis. "These guys are defectors." 

There was a pause, then Xu said, "Think they'd mind if we roughed them up a bit? They're showing no signs of enchantment, and I think we can pry a few useful answers out of them." 

"Be my guest, so long as you're done before the military arrives. About ten minutes is what you've got." 

* * * * * * * * *

The sun was setting. 

Garden and General Caraway had tried everything that was legally possible to find out what the soldiers knew. This was not a lot. The logbooks clearly showed where Squall had been taken - the coordinates matched those provided by Selphie and Zell as the scene of a large fight - but after that was accomplished, the ship had simply returned to Galbadia. The soldiers' original plan had been to land in the middle of nowhere and disperse. When Garden found them too soon, they had decided to sit tight rather than fight their own, or draw Galbadia into a war with Garden. 

Which actually spoke well of them. Quistis was surprised that these men would have considered the implications of their actions so far ahead. 

All that they had been able to learn was that Seifer had called in personal favors from these men. He had wanted them to fight the Sorceress - but not kill her. They were only to keep her busy, and separate her from Squall. Seifer had said he would take care of the rest. A small handful of soldiers admitted to seeing Squall and Seifer duel, and to having shot Squall with darts provided by Seifer while the duel was going on. They had then loaded Squall onto a plane, and called the order to retreat. 

That was all they knew. They did not know why he had been taken, or where he had been taken to. Or even what strength the darts had been, what had been in them, or for certain how many had hit Squall. 

Caraway found out that none of them had managed to injure Rinoa, and for that he was grateful. He asked to speak to Rinoa, but Xu replied that Rinoa was a SeeD now, and on assignment, so that would not be possible. Quistis held back a chuckle at that; she was sure Rinoa would be very happy to learn that SeeD discouraged parental visits for those few who actually had parents in the first place. 

Every inch of the transport was investigated for hidden logbooks or other compartments by Quistis, personally. There was nothing untoward; not even a few pieces of smuggled contraband. 

Squall had not been on board. 

Quistis gave Caraway permission to herd his defectors away to the trials that awaited them, and Xu herded the SeeD back into Garden. 

They had lost three days searching a dead end. 

* * * * * * * *

Rinoa felt like she was going crazy. 

Word had come from Quistis two days ago that Squall could not have been on the transport. While this meant that they were on the right track in hunting the plane...the downside was that there was no sign of it. 

The first order of business had been to investigate every city south of FH where a small plane might refuel. They needed to make sure that it had indeed flown to Centra before beginning a hunt of that continent. All landing strips were required to record the ID bars of any plane making use of the facilities, noting where they came from, how long they stayed, and where they went. 

This had proven fruitless, and they'd lost two days doing it. If the Ragnarok hadn't been the fastest ship currently functioning on the face of the earth, it would have taken much longer. It was hard to consider this as the positive thing it was. Then Quistis had proven the transport ship was in the clear, and they'd all headed for Centra. Garden would search the coastlines, and Ragnarok would overfly the continent in a search pattern. 

There had been no signs of any habitation. Centra was a monster-ridden wasteland, only just beginning to recover from the Lunar Cry that had devastated it so long ago. However, there did seem to be signs of life. At least, there was rather more greenery around than on their last visit, even if it was in patches. 

"Hey, Selphie, bank right for a minute willya?" said Zell, staring out the window. "I think I saw something move down there." 

Selphie obediently entered a downward clockwise spiral, straightening out again lower to the ground. She saw what Zell was looking at; one of the ever-present monsters. "Just another monster, Zell," she said sadly. "Did you want me to blast it?" 

"Nonono, LOOK at it willya?" he said, starting to sound excited. When he noticed Selphie was paying more attention to her flying he left her alone and grabbed Rinoa. "Do YOU see it?" he demanded. 

Rinoa blinked. She did. The creature - one of the floating types, but she'd forgotten its name just then - was badly injured. There were no signs of claw marks or other monster attacks, but the creature was clearly injured and was flying erratically. 

"Any of you guys know how long one of those whatevers can fly while injured?" she asked. 

"Not a clue," said Zell. Selphie didn't answer, she was busy getting the Ragnarok back up to search height. But Georg spoke up. 

"About a day, I think," he said. At that moment, something hit the hull hard and Selphie pulled up and turned. 

"We're under attack!" she said. "Hang on, I'll sort it out. It's probably whatever injured your monster." 

Another strike, this time against one wing. Selphie yelled "Hang on!" and sent Ragnarok into a barrel roll to keep control. "That's it, this monster is _toast_," she growled. "Shooting at _my_ ship!" 

But she lost her bluster as she saw her attacker, stumbling out of the rocks, aiming blasts of water at the ship. 

It was _Squall_. 

* * * * * * * * * *

Selphie frantically radioed Garden. "Quistis, this is Selphie. We found him! Stay away, you hear me? Keep Garden fifty kliks from this location until we say otherwise, you got it? Squall is attacking Ragnarok. Repeat, Squall is attacking Rag-" 

She got interrupted as another water strike pushed the front of Ragnarok upward. "All right, any ideas? I'll keep us up as long as possible, but he's a damn good shot and I don't dare fire back or lose him." 

"The hell's he think he's _doing_?" said Zell. "And where did he get a GF to use magic?" 

"They've had him long enough that maybe they enchanted him or something, maybe?" offered Rinoa, grasping at straws. "Squall wouldn't attack his friends." 

"No, of course not," said Zell automatically. "He's just shooting at us because he likes us so much. Of _course_ he wouldn't attack us if he's himself. But how do we rescue him if he's shooting at us?" 

The whole ship - excepting Selphie, who was busy with her aerial acrobatics - turned as Bella spoke up. "We could make him sleep," she said. 

"You got a handy sleep grenade?" tossed back Selphie. 

"We're gonna have to land the Ragnarok and take our chances on the ground," said Zell. 

"Maybe you oughta take a look at the dents that little water shot has put in our hull before you say that," said Selphie. "The force in that strike is incredible." 

"You said it yourself, we can't stay up forever," replied Zell. "We don't have a chance of bringing him down without killing him if we use Ragnarok. I've got every GF Garden could spare. I'll hand 'em out, and we can try to knock him cold or something." 

"Junction water to elemental defense if you can," said Rinoa. "He hasn't used any other attack but that water strike." 

"Yes, mother," teased Zell, but he grinned. He clasped arms with the others in the ship, transferring the Guardian Forces he held. When he came to Rinoa, she demurred. She closed her eyes briefly, and when she opened them her eyes glowed. The faintest outline of wings became visible behind her. 

"I'm set, Zell. You guys take care of yourselves." Her voice held odd harmonics when she gave herself over to her power. Almost as though she were two people. 

"Found a spot we can land," said Selphie. "Hang on, this will be rough. We haven't got a lot of time before he can find us, and I don't dare land farther away and risk losing him." Immediately, the Ragnarok took a steep dive. 

The landing was indeed rough. The only one to manage without a bruise was Selphie herself. Quickly they opened the hatch and ran out. A few quick glances behind them proved Selphie's point. Where the ship had been hit, the hull had been almost punched through. 

The rocks were silent. The five companions tried to listen for any sign of Squall and heard none. Selphie pointed in the direction she'd last seen him. The rest nodded and set out along that line. They didn't want to split up; there was no telling what would happen if only one of them, alone, came upon Squall in his current state. 

Rinoa wasn't sure how she knew, but all of a sudden she grabbed the two SeeDs nearest her - who happened to be Georg and Bella - and dropped to the ground. Immediately a water strike hit the rocks where they had been. Selphie and Zell took the opening and leaped in the direction the strike had come from. 

Squall showed no signs of recognizing any of them, even Rinoa. He was carrying LionHeart, but hadn't drawn it. Instead, he leaped at Zell in one incredible jump, apparently intent on flattening him. Zell simply stepped aside and let Squall punch a rock. They all heard the crack as his fist hit the stone. Given that the rock now also had a crack, they could not tell whether the blood on his gloves meant his hand had also broken. He didn't seem to notice it. Bella threw shuriken at him, trying to incapacitate him. 

They sliced through his clothes and stuck, but again Squall seemed oblivious to the fact. 

Selphie tried casting Sleep on him, but it had no discernable effect. 

Zell and Georg nodded to each other, and ganged up on him - one to each side so that Squall could not hope to dodge both. 

Rinoa could not bear the idea of seeing Squall beaten bloody - and by his own friends yet. She gave herself over to the Sorceress within, and white wings spread from her back. With the speed only a Sorceress had, she flew right at Squall and picked him up before Zell and Georg's blows could land. 

She had expected that Squall would try to fight her the way he had the others. But at Rinoa's touch, his eyes closed and he went as limp as a rag doll. Rinoa circled back and landed with her friends, her wings disappearing and her eyes reverting to normal as she did so. Her breath came in gasps. She had not exerted so much of her power at once in some time. 

The silence was deafening. 

Selphie peeled away the glove that was slick with blood. Underneath it was unquestioned that Squall had broken the bones in his hand with the punch meant for Zell. Carefully she removed the shuriken and returned them to Bella. Pulling bandages and splints from her medical kit, she did what she could for his injuries. When they were bound as well as she could, she raised her eyes calmly to Rinoa. 

"I hope you can tell me what you did," she said. 

Rinoa shook her head. "I didn't _do_ anything," she said. "I picked him up, but I expected him to attack me just like you guys. He just went all limp. I didn't cast a thing on him. I wasn't thinking...I just didn't want him to get hurt." 

"Uh, maybe you might _want _to cast something on him?" said Zell. "Unless _you _want to carry him to the Ragnarok..." 

In her current state Rinoa wasn't sure she could get _herself _back to the Ragnarok, never mind carry Squall there. She nodded, and called a Sleep spell down on Squall's inert body. To her surprise, Zell took him from her. 

"I'm strong enough to carry him," said Zell quietly. "And I don't think he'd mind me." Rinoa could only nod, at a loss for words. 

It was a very solemn group that made its way back to the Ragnarok. 


	14. Puzzle Pieces

# Puzzle Pieces

The Parking Garage was packed. 

When Ragnarok had landed at Garden most of the SeeDs were present, and acting as a human wall to keep the cadets back. Taciturn, moody, and downright arrogant though Squall could be, he had been their commander and was still the epitome of SeeD to most of Garden. Everyone wanted to know whether he was okay. 

When Zell carried his limp body down the ramp, every voice was silenced. 

When Rinoa exited next, the SeeDs had to hold fast to each other to keep the human wall in place. Cries and shouts indicated clearly that Garden believed Squall was dead and Rinoa was responsible. Selphie, Georg, and Bella immediately moved out to stand next to her, protectively. 

What silenced the room next was the authoritative crack of Quistis' whip. She was standing at the door to the Parking Garage, Xu at her side. She raised her voice so that it would carry to every person crowding the room and hall. 

"Squall lives!" she shouted. "And Rinoa probably saved his life. What are you doing away from your classes and studies? Get back to your duties - you can check on him later, if the Doctor will let you!" 

Slowly, the cadets backed off, letting Zell carry Squall out, and letting the others follow him. When they had, Quistis and Xu followed, leaving the crowd to disperse on its own. The friends moved quickly to get to the Infirmary before it occurred to the cadets to mob. 

"You probably should have waited until they'd gone," Quistis said to Rinoa as they ran. "That entrance has just undone a lot of Irvine's work." 

"Where is he?" said Rinoa, refusing to respond to the accusation. 

"At the Infirmary," said Xu. "He's making sure there isn't an oversufficiency of 'helping hands' when we arrive." 

Rinoa wondered how Squall would feel about all this fuss being over him. _Probably he'd hate it_, she thought. _He hates being the center of attention_. She stole a sideways glance at Zell, who had cradled Squall against his chest like a child as he ran. Almost, Rinoa could have wished for a gurney to make things more comfortable...but that might also have been too slow. Faint noises behind her said that the cadets were leaving the Parking Garage...and most were taking any reason they could to follow them. Slowly, perhaps, out of respect for the Headmaster's whip and admonishment, but very definitely moving. 

No, speed was of the essence. Once he was safely behind the Infirmary's doors, Doctor Kadowaki commanded respect enough to keep him safe. And there was no telling how long the Sleep spell would last. 

* * * * * * *

Irvine had done his job well. The entire Medical Wing was cleared of all but the most senior personnel and those who actually had a provable reason for being there. 

Even so, once Squall was taken in, the friends were barred from following. Even Quistis, Selphie and Xu had to stay in the outer hallway. 

"So how's about you tell us what the hell's going on?" asked Irvine after a few moments. 

"Yes, I'd like to know too," said Quistis. "You went dead on the radio telling us to stay away, and the next thing we know you're telling us he's a priority call for Doctor Kadowaki. He didn't look that hurt." 

Selphie filled them in, especially on the damage Squall had done to the Ragnarok. 

Xu said, "This water power, I don't like this. I know for a fact that every GF in Garden is accounted for. He didn't have one, and neither did Rinoa. The fact that he could do that at all is very very worrying." 

"And he just...stopped? when you touched him, Rinoa?" asked Quistis. 

She nodded. "I didn't cast anything on him until Zell asked me to, so he could carry him." 

Quistis leaned back on the waiting bench, staring at the ceiling for a few moments. "I think you ought to go in, Rinoa," she said slowly. "Tell Doctor Kadowaki to let you in and I'll be along in a few minutes with my reason why." 

"Why just Rinoa?" asked Selphie. "We're his friends too, why can't _we _go in?" 

"Because he attacked _you_, but not _her_," said Quistis unhappily. "I'll explain in a few minutes, but I really have to go." She quickly stood up and left the Infirmary. Before Rinoa could stand and ask for permission to enter, though, one of the medics came out. He looked like he'd just been in a fight. 

"Rinoa?" the young man said. "I'm Stav, a senior medical cadet. Doctor Kadowaki has asked for you." 

The others exchanged glances. The sleep spell had probably worn off. Rinoa looked at them for a moment, then hurried after Stav. 

* * * * * * * * * *

Squall was being held down by so many cadets that you could only tell where he was by looking at the general shape the cadets made. They were trying desperately to tie him to the bed. Doctor Kadowaki saw Rinoa and called, "Whatever you did to him before, we really need you to do it again! He's not responding to sleep magic or tranquilizers and these are medics, not fighters!" 

But I didn't _do_ anything, thought Rinoa. Still, there was only one thing to try. She moved to the head of the bed and stared into Squall's face, his features contorted in rage as he tried to get free. Slowly she reached out and put her hand against his cheek as his head thrashed from side to side. 

The effect was as dramatic as before - so much so that the medics, suddenly straining against no resistance, only barely managed to avoid injuring themselves. Squall's eyes closed again and he lay completely still, as though he had been a machine that were suddenly switched off. 

_But...I didn't _do _anything...I swear I didn't _do_ anything..._

"Well, thank goodness that worked," said Doctor Kadowaki. She indicated that the medics should finish tying Squall down. "No telling how long it'll last," she said, "and we can't keep Rinoa in here all the time." 

"I'd stay," said Rinoa automatically. 

"I know you would, my dear," said Kadowaki with a gentle smile, "but it's no good you neglecting your health for his, now is it? Any idea what you did?" 

The medics finished their job and filed out, casting looks back at Squall, now tied very firmly to the gurney. 

"Nothing," protested Rinoa. "I don't know why this happens any more than you do. What's wrong with him?" 

"Well, _something's_ been done that's certain," the doctor replied. "He's been in here before, once with a fever that made him violent. Didn't take half as many cadets to tie him down then as it did this time, and he was still winning. That's why I had to call you in here. It's possible he was drugged somehow. You just hold him still and I'll get a blood sample." 

Rinoa couldn't watch as Kadowaki took samples of Squall's blood. She just watched his face, stroking his cheek gently with one hand. Even in sleep his features were more expressive than they were now. Now his face was as expressionless, as emotionless, as if he were a marble carving. At least when he was moving his face betrayed emotion. 

Kadowaki finished filling her syringe and handed it to a medical cadet for analysis. She then busied herself with potions and elixirs on Squall's hand. "Did you see what he did to do this?" she asked. 

"Yes," said Rinoa. "He punched a rock. He was aiming for Zell." 

"Zell?" the doctor frowned. "He's almost powdered the bones in his hand," she said. "He used to get into scuffles with Zell when they were roommates, but he'd never have hit him _this_ hard, even if he could." 

"He cracked the rock he hit," said Rinoa. "And he was definitely aiming for Zell. They were roommates?" 

The doctor raised an eyebrow, but continued her work on Squall's hand. "Yes," she said, "Though I shouldn't be surprised neither of them thought to mention that to you. Cadets always have roommates. Zell was Squall's. By their choice, or so I heard. I tend to be Garden's counselor as well as chief medic. I'd say Zell's probably Squall's best friend." 

Rinoa smiled at the thought. Well, that explained why Zell had been so sympathetic. It seemed Squall got along better with complete opposites than with those most like himself, though she suspected most of the work of that friendship was on Zell's part. She used her toe to hook a handy chair and pull it over, sitting down at the head of the gurney and gently wrapping her arms around Squall's neck. If her touch was all that would calm him, she had no problem with hugging him. 

Stav entered the room, looking upset. "Doctor Kadowaki?" he asked. "These results...would you look at this please?" 

Doctor Kadowaki sighed and gently set Squall's hand down. "Don't let him move," she admonished Rinoa. "It'll take a lot of work to finish setting the bones before I can use magic or potions to heal the damage. I'll be back in a few minutes." She got up and left the room. Rinoa was alone with Squall. 

Somehow, this was not how she'd pictured the first time being alone with Squall in a room with a bed. But then, Squall had never fit the usual images of anything. It was not right, for him to lie so still while she could still walk and talk. Someone was owed a letter of complaint for causing this. She wanted to shake him, or yell, or cry...anything to wake him up into the person he had been on the Horizon Bridge, six days and forever ago. 

* * * * * * * * *

Quistis searched frantically through her office until she found it. It had entirely slipped her mind during the search for Squall, but now a chance passage half-remembered was driving her mad with possibility. Squall hadn't reacted to Rinoa - had calmed when she touched him, Squall who hated anybody touching him and wasn't anywhere near his usual self right now. 

_There _it was, it had slipped down the back of the chair and gotten wedged between it and the wall. With no one to see, Quistis made an undignified stretch and retrieved it, checking to make sure her place hadn't been lost. The one copy Garden had of _'The Sorceress' Knight' _was safe. She blew out a long breath of relief. 

Now it was just a matter of finding that passage that she couldn't remember all of.... 

* * * * * * *

Someone knocked gently on the door of Squall's infirmary room. Rinoa looked up and realized she was the only person who could answer, so she said, "Come in." 

It was Zell, though he was flanked by the rest of the orphanage group except for Quistis. All of them looked worried and sad, filing in as quietly as they could -- as though Squall were merely asleep. 

Rinoa didn't think he was. He hadn't budged an inch since she had touched him. Only the slow rise and fall of his chest proved he was even alive. 

"Have they told you anything?" Zell said quietly. "We were hoping maybe they'd tell you something they wouldn't tell us?" 

Rinoa shook her head wearily. "No," she said just as softly. "Doctor Kadowaki said he might have been drugged - probably - and took some blood for tests. She hasn't come back yet." 

Selphie said, "I'm not too good on biology but I'm great at chemistry. I'll go see if I can find out anything." She reached out for a moment as though to give Squall a pat, but pulled her hand back and left. 

Irvine said, "Rinoa, I know you don't wanna hear this right now, but half of Garden thinks this is your doing. Could you...stay here for a while? Not go back to your room?" He pulled over a chair and sat down, head hung low so that only his lips were visible under his hat as he spoke. "I've been tryin' like crazy to squash these rumors, but somebody keeps 'em going. Somebody in Garden wants you dead, Rinoa. If you gotta leave the Infirmary, let one of us know, all right?" 

He was right. She _didn't _want to hear this right now. But she couldn't yell at Irvine. He might sound like the biggest male slut in Garden, but he never lied if he had any option. It was a big liability for a potential gigolo. She just closed her eyes briefly and nodded. "All right," she said. "I was planning on staying here, anyway. Doctor Kadowaki said neither magic nor tranquilizers were helping." 

"But _your_ spell worked just fine," said Zell. "He was out for hours." 

Irvine looked up. "You cast a spell on him?" he asked. "Isn't he wearing that ring that bites when you cast magic on it?" 

Rinoa frowned. "He should be," she said, and moved from her seat at the head of the bed to Squall's left hand, gloved as it always was. Gently she pulled the glove off. Griever was there, shining platinum snug around his finger. "Should I test it?" she asked. "Can't be a safer place to try than here, I suppose." 

"We'll catch ya if it bites again," said Irvine, but he didn't look too thrilled at the idea. 

Since it would let her stretch a bit, Rinoa concentrated and cast Sleep on Squall again. 

On his finger, Griever flashed briefly but did not lash out. 

"Well, I'll be damned," said Irvine wonderingly. "I wonder if he knew it did that. I always wondered why anyone would wear a ring under gloves." 

"Don't think so," said Zell. "He had to wear it on a chain around his neck until he was fifteen and his finger fit the band. If he knew it did fancy tricks he probably would have had it in a pouch or something." 

Rinoa reached out and touched the band, the leonine carving familiar under her fingers after six months of wearing it around her neck. It felt warmer than his skin, but not by much. "I guess you were right," she said softly. "It won't hurt you." 

Zell was looking at Squall's hand and frowning. Rinoa watched, puzzled, as he picked Squall's hand up and examined it closely, then pushed up the sleeve of his jacket. She was just about to ask what he thought he was doing when she saw it. It had been hidden by the sleeves, but Squall's wrists bore chafe marks and scabs that could only come from chains. 

"Come on, help me get him untied," he said quickly. "We gotta get his jacket off." Rinoa and Irvine were suddenly afraid of whatever Zell suspected, and afraid to ask him. As quickly as they could, they undid the ropes that bound Squall to the bed. 

"Squall uses nail clippers," Zell commented as he held Squall up so that Rinoa could remove his jacket. "We got into a big fight about it once when we were roommates, damn nail clipping almost caught me in the eye when I was tryin'a study. But look at his hands. Somebody's been _bitin'_ 'em, and I'm betting with those marks on his wrists it wasn't Squall lookin' for a pair of clippers." 

The jacket was off Squall's shoulders, not completely removed because Rinoa didn't dare disturb Doctor Kadowaki's bone setting on the injured hand. But it was enough. Between the edges of his short-sleeved white shirt and the jacket, Squall's skin was a mass of bruises. When her eyes refused to register what she was seeing, Rinoa looked away...and noticed something else. 

"His shirt's on inside out," she said in a voice filled with dread. "Go get Doctor Kadowaki...and if she doesn't come right away tell her I am going to fry her." 

* * * * * *

When Selphie found the Doctor, she was in the middle of half a dozen panicky medical cadets. "Oh thank goodness you showed up," said Kadowaki, sounding hassled. "We can use a good chemist in here, this stuff's completely unidentifiable." 

"Er, what is?" asked Selphie. 

"Whatever the people who took Squall pumped into his bloodstream. There's traces of more than a dozen substances in his blood, and a lot more than a trace of another one." 

"Something that hurts?" Selphie asked. "A drug?" 

"You're the chemist," said Kadowaki. "I have no idea what this stuff is and I can use all the help I can get." 

Afraid to find out what it was, but immensely relieved to be able to help, Selphie elbowed one of the medics aside and set to work. She didn't even turn her head when Zell rushed in and practically dragged Doctor Kadowaki out of the room. 

The Doctor was right. The substance traces were entirely new. But Selphie loved a challenge, and whoever had created it had given her incredible incentive to unlock its secrets by giving it to Squall. 

* * * * * * * *

"I hope you haven't disturbed the bone setting when you decided to move him around like some sort of doll," Kadowaki said harshly. 

"But look at his _arms_," said Irvine. 

"First things first," she said briskly, setting to work. "Unless _you _want to be the one telling him he can't use a gunblade any longer." 

At that, everyone backed off. They were afraid of what might have happened and wanted to know, but none of them wanted to present Squall with news like that....should he wake up. 

The work was agonizingly slow, as Kadowaki gently pushed bones back into position and used small amounts of Elixir to fix them in place. To use the whole potion on such an injury would leave the hand crippled. After an indeterminate while that felt like forever, she set the hand down and said, "All right. Assuming he doesn't punch anything else until it's healed, he should be fine. Now tell me what's going on, and why you're moving my patient around like a rag doll." 

Both Zell and Rinoa flinched at the image, but Irvine pushed up the sleeve of Squall's jacket again, revealing the marks and half-healed cuts, letting the evidence speak for itself. 

He was not prepared to hear Kadowaki say, "You boys get out," in a tone of command. "You boys get out _right now_. Rinoa can fill you in later if she wants to." But the Chief Medic could overrule even the masters of Garden in medical matters, so they flashed Rinoa looks that said they wanted details later and unhappily filed out. 

"Why - " began Rinoa, but the doctor hushed her. 

"Because I've known Squall since he came to Garden," said the doctor, "Just like I know every cadet and SeeD in the place. And I know we're going to get him back on his feet somehow, and I also know how he'd feel to know anyone could just yank his clothes off, even his friends, even for what they think are very good reasons. I told you I'm Garden's counselor as well as chief medic - if I know he won't approve of something, it doesn't get done." 

Rinoa nodded unhappily, realizing she had been behaving as though Squall were some sort of inanimate object. Which in a sense, right now, he _was_ - but who was to say that he did not know what was going on and was only unable to respond? Suddenly she felt ashamed; she knew that if Squall could hear her right now, he would not be happy with her. 

"Now - I know I've been busy with other things, but we really do need to find out if he's suffering from anything worse than a broken hand and whatever they pumped him full of." Doctor Kadowaki laid a reassuring hand on Rinoa's shoulder. "I've treated ex-prisoners before, when a mission went sour. I don't know what we'll find, if anything, but we need you to be strong. Okay?" 

Again, Rinoa nodded. This time she tried to look determined, strong...the perfect SeeD. At least it was enough to win a small smile from Kadowaki, and a brief pat on the shoulder before she removed her hand. 

Gently but quickly they pulled off Squall's jacket, setting it beside his gloves on a small table. "See his shirt?" said Rinoa quietly, as if she might wake Squall up. The doctor nodded slowly. 

"Captors do that sometimes, just to assert their authority. On the other hand, his shirt looks about the same either way, with the jacket on." She tried to sound reassuring, but she knew bruise types. The last time she'd seen bruise shapes like the ones she was seeing, it had been on a female cadet in an abusive relationship. She glanced over at Rinoa, who held him upright as best she could while the Doctor pulled off Squall's shirt. 

No, there could be no question now. There was no part of Squall's body below the neck that was not covered in purpling or fading bruises. Rinoa stepped back involuntarily, then instinctively reached out her hand. The Doctor grabbed her hand before she could touch him. 

"No," she said. "No magic, not yet. We need to know what was done before we try to cure it. When I'm through, you can knock yourself out healing him and I won't mind a bit. But right now those bruises are the only part of him that's talking and we need to know what's been done to make him this way." Reluctantly Rinoa nodded in agreement, but she was fighting to keep herself from healing the hurts she was seeing. 

Doctor Kadowaki's face relaxed into an impersonal mask as she conducted her examination of Squall, making little notes on a clipboard. "Well, I know one thing - they certainly didn't _feed_ him. If it weren't for the bruises the first thing you'd see is his _ribs_. Rinoa, will you get some cadets to get an IV going? It's been days since he's had anything to eat by the look of him, and that won't help matters any." 

Rinoa nodded and quickly left, grateful that she didn't have to watch if she couldn't help. However, it took her some time to locate some cadets that could be pulled from everything else going on in the Infirmary, and a little more time to get the required materials for an IV. When she returned with everything in tow, she found the door locked. She was a little surprised by this but opted to knock. 

A few minutes later, Doctor Kadowaki opened the door and waved them in. Squall was now under the covers of a proper medical bed. Rinoa glanced to the corner; all of his clothes were piled there, even his pendant, though Griever still nestled on his finger. She turned to the Doctor questioningly. 

"I think you'd better come to my office, Rinoa," said Kadowaki with a troubled look. "I think I have an idea what's wrong." She turned to the cadets. "I'll be back in a few moments - but when you're done, lock the door. I want no visitors to this room _at all_. And make sure he's tied down, will you?" 

Rinoa followed the Doctor out of the room and past the curious stares of her friends, suspecting yet dreading the words that were to come. 


	15. Turning Tides

Quistis gave no thought at all to the rules and protocols of Garden. She ran from her office on the third floor straight to the Infirmary on the first, breaking the old speed record for a cross-Garden dash by thirty seconds in front of hundreds of witnesses who just happened to be gathering outside the Infirmary's waiting hall for no particular reason. 

Just inside the door, every member of the orphanage group was sitting or standing, and every one of them looked unhappy. Xu was there also, managing to look less unhappy but no less concerned. The door to Squall's room was closed. She was just about to ask where Rinoa was when Irvine answered the question unspoken. 

"You can't go in," he said heavily. "Kadowaki had 'em lock the door. She's talking to Rinoa in her office. We're hoping Rinoa will feel like sharing the wealth when she comes out, 'cause the Doc ain't tellin' us anything." 

"That's what brought me down here so fast," gasped Quistis. "It doesn't matter what they did - if he's alive, Rinoa can bring him back. It's right here." And she waved her copy of _'The Sorceress' Knight'._

That got an immediate response. Every head in the room, medics included, turned to face her. "Okay," said Irvine, trying to sound casual, "Are you willing to tell us about it? 'Cause if you're not, I hafta warn you my patience for closed-mouthed women is really low today." 

Quistis spared him an _I could report you for that_ look before saying, "It has to do with this whole Knight business, of course. Apparently, if Squall took the post of his own free will, without coercion, there's some sort of bond between them that nothing on this planet can break." 

"Er, are you sure that's not a romance novel you've got there, Quisty?" asked Selphie. "That doesn't sound...ah, well _real_ would be my word..." 

Quistis shook her head impatiently. "No, this is history, not romance. I checked that. For the Knight to fulfil his duty, guarding the spirit of the Sorceress, he has to be able to _reach_ that spirit. Always. And if _he_ can reach _her_..." 

"_She_ can reach _him_! Woohoo, one for the bookworms!" cried Zell, leaping up and giving Quistis a bearhug that lifted her off her feet. His enthusiasm broke the tension in the room, making everyone laugh. 

"It doesn't say that, but yes - that's what I think," said Quistis. "Anyway, it's something. What's been going on down here?" 

She hadn't expected it, but the question pulled the smiles from everyone's faces. "All right...I suppose you'd better tell me." 

"Well," began Selphie hesitantly, "This stuff they pumped him with. It's not going to go away. We can't counteract it." 

"What is it?" asked Quistis, concerned. 

"We're not entirely sure yet. I've only had a little while to study it. It's synthetic, and it bonds to the cell structure when it reaches a certain level of strength in comparison to the system it's placed in. At lesser levels, it bonds temporarily and then disintegrates. Most of the samples we were able to retrieve have disintegrated." 

Irvine raised a hand. "Uh, Sef, could we have this in English please?" 

Selphie took a deep breath. "At my best guess, someone was trying to synthesize Guardian Forces, and used Squall as a test subject. The blood samples the Doctor took contained substances that - at best guess - are designed to imitate the effects of all sixteen known Guardian Forces. By the time we worked that out, seven had completely disintegrated, and another eight had gone to half strength. I think they'll disappear in time, too." 

"That's only fifteen, Selphie," said Quistis slowly. 

Selphie nodded unhappily. "The sixteenth bonded. As far as I can tell, he's _always_ going to have that water spray ability. On the plus side, it's not a Guardian Force - his memory won't be affected, and he'll have the benefits of strength and endurance junctioning provides on top of that water shooting ability. On the down side...it's too soon to tell if there's going to be a price for this. If there is, he's going to be stuck with that too. We can't counteract the effect, or break the cellular bonding, without killing him." 

"Like maybe an elemental vulnerability?" asked Quistis slowly. "Fire, or something like that?" 

Selphie nodded. "I'm going to ask the Doctor for more samples, but yes. It could be anything from an elemental vulnerability, which while inconvenient could be dealt with, to something nastier - like growing gills. It's just too soon to say. I'm hoping we can find a counter-agent so we won't have to worry." 

"So...these guys tortured him, and then made him _stronger_?" asked Zell, puzzled. "'Scuse me for thinking that's pretty weird bad guy behavior." 

Selphie shook her head. "They didn't intend for the effect to be permanent, I'm sure," she said. "But as I said - the bonding effect depends on the amount of the substance and on the strength of the system it's placed in. Squall was very weak by the time they used the last one on him - I think they could have used half as much and it would still have bonded. If they were monitoring his strength or endurance to gauge the strength of his system, the residual effects of the other substances they pumped him with would have masked how weak he really was." 

"Which still leaves me wondering what they were going to do with this imitation-GF serum," said Irvine, staring fixedly at the ceiling. "Is anyone besides me picturing lots of really crazy people hurling fireballs, waterslides, tornadoes and lightning strikes all over Centra? Or Galbadia?" 

"Or one really really strong person," said Selphie slowly. "Squall had the effects of all the GFs at once for a little while there." 

"We've got to stop it," said Quistis, horrified. "I thought we'd have time for Squall to wake up but this is too much of a threat. Even if there turns out to be a big price for having this bonding, by the time it takes effect whoever's doing this could be ruling the planet." 

"If you're going after whoever did this," said a voice, "I'm going with you." It was Rinoa, who was standing in the doorway of Kadowaki's office. She looked like she had been crying. 

"What?" "What's wrong?" "What did she say?" everyone asked at once. 

Rinoa shook her head. "I ... I can't say," sounding like she was fighting back tears. "But they...the Doctor says they ... she says they _broke_ him. Sort of...drove him crazy." 

"Drove him crazy?" asked Irvine. "Boy, that's gonna end up all over Garden before sundown." 

"Drove him crazy _how_?" asked Quistis, as though she didn't understand the idea. 

"You don't want to know," said Rinoa heavily. "Kadowaki told me and I'm not sure I like knowing myself. Except that whatever we do to those responsible - and I plan on doing a lot - we'll still end up being nicer to them than they were to him." 

Quistis looked down and saw the book in her hands, and remembered why she was down here. "You're not going, Rinoa," she said firmly. "You're needed here. Leave this to us - we'll make sure this doesn't happen again, or get out of hand." 

To everyone's surprise, Rinoa reacted to this by becoming furious. She walked stiffly up to Quistis, and for a moment it looked like she would attack her. 

"You think I'm not good enough, don't you!" flared Rinoa. "Do I have to take one of your tests to prove I can do this? Squall taught me himself, I can do anything you need me to do. He's stuck here - like _that_," and she flung an arm in the direction of his room, "and by the Hyne I am going to pay back those responsible! He's my Knight, as well as my partner. I let him be taken, I have to make up for it." 

The rest of the group, even Xu, backed away from the two women as Quistis held her book up like a weapon or a shield, just as angry. "You aren't going because you're the only one who can bring Squall back!" she snapped. "You can bet your precious dog that if I could save him myself I'd be in there doing so right this minute and not a bit of whining about it. But I can't. You said it yourself - he's your Knight, and it's your job to heal him. On top of that it was _your_ condition that you go with him always when you joined SeeD. Well, he's not going anywhere for a while - so neither are you." 

But Rinoa appeared not to have heard. Her eyes began to glow, and the angelwings started to take shape behind her. The group held its breath as they realized that the wings weren't white anymore, but a steely, silvery gray. "Should I tell you what they did to him?" she said in that curious, echoing Sorceress' voice. "Should I tell you that they heaped pain upon pain until his mind couldn't face his own body any more? There will be blood for blood paid and I will be sure to extract every drop!" 

But Quistis had not made SeeD by the age of fifteen by backing down or thinking slowly. "And you will become another Ultimecia," she lashed out. "Look at yourself in a mirror, Sorceress, and tell me whether you do Squall a service by taking a vengeance on his behalf that will force him to kill you! You tell me, is that what you want your precious Knight to have to do?" 

Rinoa tilted her head, seemingly puzzled for a moment out of her anger. She summoned a Reflect spell and in its flash saw her own once white wings tinted dark silver-gray, still lighter than Ultimecia's raven wings had been but a far cry from their former snow-white sheen. Her jaw dropped open, and she released her magic. Her eyes faded, her wings disappeared...and Rinoa crumpled in a heap on the floor of the Infirmary, crying as though her heart had broken. 

To everyone's surprise it was Irvine who dared to approach her then, and give her a gentle hug. "Don't worry, Rinoa," he said. "We'll go down there and skin whoever did this alive, and you can have their hides for a rug. Though I think Zell will fight me for the Seifer-skin," he joked. 

"Don't you riddle his hide with bullets," Zell said, trying to lighten the mood. "I want it to be nice and waterproof so I can use it as a bathtub rug." 

Quistis knelt beside her, anger forgotten, and gave her the book. "It's the only copy Garden has, so I doubt you've had a chance to read it. But if there's something you can do to help Squall, this should help you find out what it is and how to do it. I never got to finish reading it myself." She stood up and faced Xu. "I think Selphie and Irvine should stay here - to find out more about this artificial-GF substance and its effects. But I'd like to take Zell and go hunting for the people responsible for this mess. With your permission?" 

Xu nodded. "Try to bring back more of the artificial-GF material if you can. I'll tell Nida to get away from Centra, and you can take Ragnarok and as many SeeDs as you feel you need." She gave a small smile. "I think I'm going to fill the President of Esthar in on some of what we've learned. It should net us all the forces we need. Consider this first foray an expeditionary force." 

"Squall wouldn't like Laguna getting involved," Quistis warned. 

"_Squall_ is not Commander of Garden," replied Xu. "And if I can use a SeeD's family ties to save my SeeD's hides, I'm definitely going to do it. Besides - I think Esthar is the safest place for Rinoa to work whatever magic she needs to to get Squall on his feet. Irvine can't stop the rumor mill while he's helping Selphie. Esthar's got the best medical technology on the planet - the four of them can do their research there in perfect safety. I don't want whoever did this to get their hands on the Sorceress or her Knight again. They've been after one or the other this whole time." 

Quistis nodded. "It's your prerogative, Xu," she said. "C'mon Zell. Time to go do some kicking." 

"Damn straight," nodded Zell firmly, and followed her out. 

Xu turned to Selphie and Irvine. "Help Rinoa get whatever is needed to move Squall safely and prepare whatever you need for a stay in Esthar." 

Lastly, gently, she drew Rinoa up from her tearful crumple. "And you...do whatever you have to do to get Squall back for us," she said softly. "The resources of Balamb Garden are at your disposal, if there is need." Then she turned on her heel and left. 

The three friends shared a long moment of silence, and got to work on their assigned tasks. 

* * * * * *

Alicia surveyed her 'volunteers'. Seifer knelt before her as though she were already a Sorceress, and there was nothing in his mind that was not worship of her. She'd seen to that. Fujin and Raijin stood flanking him, their faces expressionless as though they were facing a commander. They could not hide their fear of Alicia, though. Their minds rang with it, though both also felt fear for Seifer. 

But they had nowhere else to go. Garden had not believed their story, and after planting the spying device Garden would probably not accept them within its walls again. Their bridges were burned behind them. As Alicia had intended. 

Alicia would not have chosen to gift them with any of the GF-power, but she knew that if she refused them her hold on Seifer would weaken. He regarded his posse as important as himself, and relied on them to keep him from falling too far into his pursuit of his dreams. 

Alicia smiled at that. His posse had tried to save him, and failed. Now they were trapped with him, under her power. She leaned back in her mahogany 'throne', regal as a queen granting favors. 

"Doctor Odine tells me that the test subject suffered no visible ill effects from high exposure to the GF-injections," she said. "Therefore, we think it is safe to try it on someone who actually matters. Are you willing to take the risk, to gain this power?" 

Seifer didn't even hesitate before saying, "If my Sorceress wills it I will do it." 

It was all Alicia could do to keep her cheerful smile from erupting into laughter as she saw Fujin and Raijin exchange glances. Seifer had been kept away from the area Odine had made into a laboratory; unlike them, he did not know who the 'test subject' had been. He thought Squall was a prisoner somewhere in the complex, and the posse were afraid to tell him. They had seen what she did to Squall, and they both knew they'd be no good to Seifer if something just as bad happened to them. They had heard, too, of Seifer's punishment. 

It was forcing friends to keep little secrets like that which made Alicia's days worthwhile. 

When the two nodded agreement, she merely inclined her head in a regal nod and rose to her feet. Slowly she walked over to them, and made a great show of considering what power to grant them. She looked first at Fujin. 

"Pandemona for you, my silver-haired friend," she said with a smile. "The wind always whispers, but never speaks unless it howls, is that not so?" It was delightful the way Fujin's mind shivered. They both knew Fujin often thought of herself as a wind or spirit. 

She walked next to Raijin. "Quezacoatl for you, I think," she said. "Quick to strike, with the voice of thunder." Ah, Raijin too was so easily intimidated. Amazing, how such little secrets held such weight. 

Which left Seifer, her burning sun. She looked deeply into his cat-green eyes as he knelt reverently before her, wondering how he would feel to know he, too, was a test subject. Even if the test was one known only to Odine and herself. He, too, was fascinated by the mirror-images that were Squall and Seifer, and the transmitter they had placed on Squall had revealed much before it was discovered and destroyed. "The heart aflame," she said quietly. "The burning sun, the ravaging forest fire. I give you Ifrit, Seifer." She noted that Seifer accepted her judgement of him unquestioningly. She would be his Sorceress, his goddess. Knights weren't supposed to question, so he didn't. 

Some time she would have to explore more deeply into his mind, to find out why he felt that way. She was quite certain that his counterpart did not. 

Alicia walked back to her 'throne' and seated herself, regarding the trio. "The process will be painful, but do not lose courage. You can survive it, we know this for certain. And when you have, you three will be able to bring me the Sorceress even if you must hunt her to the ends of the earth." 

* * * * * * * *

All three were locked in separate cells, thoughtfully padded against any effects the injections might have. One by one, Odine would fill the syringe and inject its contents into the required subject. All three were wearing monitoring devices, so that if something were to go wrong it would be quickly detected. 

Alicia watched from the control board. Seifer, of course, had gone first. It was the duty of a leader. By the time Fujin and Raijin were injected, Seifer had already entered the shaking convulsions Squall had undergone. However, Seifer was neither bound nor broken. Alicia watched dispassionately as proof of the pain was laid out before her. 

He had begun trembling only a minute after Odine had left the room. The violence of the trembling increased gradually, until he was forced to try curling into a fetal position to keep any sort of control at all. 

After two minutes, he was roaring with pain, and his skin was flushed. Alicia wished she had thought to take Seifer's overcoat; he was getting tangled in it, and anyway it was hiding some of his reactions. She flicked her eyes over the screens where Fujin and Raijin were convulsing. Raijin was howling even more loudly than Seifer...but Fujin was screaming in silence, her silver hair gleaming as she shook. 

Rather to her surprise, Seifer burst into flame. She checked the monitoring devices, relieved that they appeared to be unaffected. Seifer was a walking fireball, but the readings indicated that things were progressing normally. Though he'd probably need some new clothes. She snapped a finger at a waiting underling, and indicated he should attend that matter. 

Raijin's hair was standing on end, but Fujin...Fujin was floating in the center of her own private whirlwind. All readings were similar to those Squall had exhibited. Alicia's smile threatened to take in her ears. 

Seifer had apparently gotten control of his new gift; though his skin still looked flushed, his body no longer flamed, and he was grinning. "All better," he said to the camera. 

Alicia depressed the communication tab on her console. "Then by all means, leave," she said to all of them, interested in seeing how they would open the doors. 

Seifer aimed his hands at the door (in a manner not unlike Squall's fist, Alicia noted with interest) and sent a fountain of fire into it, melting it in seconds. On the other side was a very startled underling with a change of clothes...but modesty had never been one of Seifer's failings. He grabbed the clothes with a smirk and dressed while the man ran off. 

Raijin threw bolts of lightning at the hinges of his own door, and Fujin simply used her whirlwind to blow the doorway into the hall. 

Which was all well and good, and proved they could control their powers, but Alicia felt the need to respond to their enthusiasm with, "The doors were unlocked, you know." 

* * * * * * *

"Greetings, Balamb Garden," came the voice over the com-line. "President Loire speaking. What can I do for you?" 

"This is Commander Xu of Balamb Garden, sir," said Xu. "I have matters of some importance to discuss with you." 

A light flashed on the console, indicating Laguna had opened a video channel if Xu wished to use it. She did, and was soon greeted with an image of Laguna in his office, flanked by Kiros and Ward. "Something wrong, Xu?" he asked, looking concerned. "Squall's not hurt, is he?" 

Xu kept her face neutral as she said, "Got it in one, sir. But there's much worse afoot." 

Laguna leaned forward. "Everything, all right? You gotta tell me everything." 

_So quickly he has abandoned his official pose_, Xu noted, _though his friends are still sticking to their roles_. "As much as I know, sir," she said respectfully, and stood up. The video lines would follow her as long as she stayed in the Headmaster's office. 

"About a week ago, Squall was abducted by parties unknown as he and Rinoa were crossing the Horizon Bridge," she began. "This morning we were able to find him. He has been injured, but what is worse is that his abductors used him as a sort of biological test subject. At the moment his condition varies from comatose to...ah...frenzy." 

Laguna's jaw had dropped, and he blinked several times as he tried to come to terms with this. Finally he managed, "Where was Rinoa when this was going on?" 

"Squall's abductors send a few _hundred_ Galbadian soldiers - who had defected from Galbadia for the duration - to take him. Rinoa could not defeat so many; they were separated, and Squall was taken. Rinoa was instrumental in his rescue." 

"A few _hundred_?" Laguna asked, eyes wide. Then he appeared to force himself to get back to the problem at hand. "No, nevermind - I can probably get the story from Caraway later. Go on." 

"President Loire, we believe the purpose of the tests was to create people with the powers of Guardian Forces. At the time we recovered Squall, traces of substances replicating the abilities of all known GFs were found in his system. We believe that someone is attempting to create an army even SeeD would not be able to defeat. We do not know the origins of this GF-replicating substance, or how difficult it may be to manufacture. We must assume the worst." 

"Traces of...in Squall?" asked Laguna, dumbstruck. Kiros stepped forward and laid a hand on his friend's shoulder. 

"What are you asking of Esthar, Commander Xu?" asked Kiros in a formal tone. 

"Minister Kiros, firstly we are requesting that you send a transport vehicle for Squall and the SeeDs I am sending with him. We need to know the full extent of what was done, and we need to keep Squall out of these people's reach. Esthar is distant and advanced; he will be safe there and we can perform research into these...GF-replicating substances. Secondly, we are asking for as many soldiers as you can spare to help us locate the facility where Squall was held. We must recover the replicating materials, and any persons on whom those materials might have been used." 

"Done," said Laguna before Kiros could reply. He turned to his friend and said, "Yeah I know we've got a lot for the soldiers to do here with the monsters from the Lunar Cry and all, but we'll have whatever SeeDs Xu is sending to help with that. This is important, we've got to help." 

Kiros gave Laguna a look that clearly said he knew which factors Laguna was using to determine importance, but only shrugged, and stepped back again. 

"Thank you, President Loire," said Xu. "I am forwarding coordinates where your transports may rendezvous with Garden. Xu out." 

As the screen went blank, Xu allowed herself a small smile. Estharian soldiers were almost the match of SeeD, and there were a lot more of them. And Squall and Rinoa would be out of reach. It was a good thing Laguna was so soft-hearted; the whole mission would have been much more difficult otherwise. 

* * * * * *

Irvine entered the room gingerly. Kadowaki had ordered that the only people who were to see Squall were the ones who could prove they had a reason to, and now he had a reason. Selphie'd gotten permission for more blood samples, and it had fallen to Irvine to collect them. 

_The things we do for love_, he thought to himself ruefully. 

Rinoa was sitting at the head of the bed, arms loosely wrapped around Squall's neck, her head nestled against his shoulder as Irvine came in. She looked up, but didn't smile. She hadn't smiled since she came out of the Doctor's office. 

Irvine waved the little plastic bottles as explanation. "Sefie needs to compare notes, or something," he said by way of apology. "I'll be careful, I promise." 

"It's okay, Irvine," Rinoa said sadly. "I know it's got to be done." 

Irvine noted she was reading the book Quistis had given her. "Anything interesting in there?" he asked as he set to work. 

"Lots of things," said Rinoa. "Seifer didn't tell me half as much as I thought he did." 

"Seifer?" asked Irvine. "When did you talk to Seifer?" 

"I forgot we hadn't met you when I mentioned that to the others," Rinoa said softly. "I dated Seifer for one summer, before I met Squall or the rest of you. At the time it seemed like love, but he was always going on about his dream of being a Sorceress' Knight. And then Edea - well, Ultimecia - showed up, and you know what happened." 

"Yeah," said Irvine distractedly. _One bottle full_. "Can't believe you ever saw anything in the guy. Thought you had better taste than that." 

He'd hoped to get a rise out of her, but she just rested her head against Squall's shoulder again. "I was a different person then," she said sadly. 

"Wasn't everyone?" Irvine said, then, "That's it, that should be enough for Selphie's mad experiments. I'll leave you two alone now." And he stepped out of the room as quietly as he came in, which was quite a feat given his penchant for cowboy boots. 

Rinoa hardly noticed. Quistis had been right, the answers appeared to be in the book - it was practically an instruction manual for a Knight. Except that she was a Sorceress, not a Knight, and there were no instruction manuals for that because the gifts of every Sorceress were different. 

All she knew was that she was beginning to get glimmers of Squall's presence again. He might not be 'home' as far as being where he should be - in his body and moving around - but he wasn't far off. He couldn't be. Not when she somehow _knew_ he hadn't wanted Irvine to take any blood samples (the impression she got was no needles) and she also _knew_ he would be relieved that Kadowaki had ordered the room locked. 

She could just be imagining it, of course. But the possibility that she wasn't was what kept her reading the book. 

* * * * * * *

Selphie was having a hard time with the blood samples. Irvine was willing to help her in any way he could, but he didn't have a sciences background. Mostly he just kept her company, and that was fine by her. Having Irvine around was like having a big flannel blanket on a cold winter night. 

_Hm. That's interesting._

"Hey Irv?" she asked. "Couldja get Kadowaki in here a mo? I'm ok on chemistry but I think this is more her area of expertise." 

"No prob, Sef," he said with a cheery grin and a tip of his hat as he turned to go. 

Selphie turned back to her microscope. She was pretty sure this wasn't going to herald anything good. The blue spheres that were the 'whatever' substance weren't just bonding with Squall's cells. They were starting - slowly, but undeniably - to _merge_ with them. 

Making something new. 

Turning Squall into ... something else. 

She really, _really_ had to find out what that blue whatever was. The trouble was finding some of it that wasn't already bonded to or merging with Squall. She couldn't even tell if it had been altered by the other whatevers that had not bonded. Not that she had any samples of them; they'd broken down completely, untraceable. 

There were really far too many unknowns. 


	16. Half-Life

# Chapter 15

## Half-Life

The world had gotten very peculiar lately. The last thing he really remembered was that ...horrible moment in _that woman's_ chains. It had hurt like hell on every level. Mental, emotional, physical, you name it and it had been pure hell. He thought he'd remembered screaming... 

And then he was _here_. It was just like the real world except the only thing he could see was himself. Or, more correctly, his body. Not that he could affect it in any way. He'd tried everything he could think of to get back in and it hadn't worked. Overlapping himself, exercises of will, shouting, it didn't matter. The brown-eyed woman had cast him out of his body and locked the door behind her. 

It was disturbingly like the time-compressed world in that it was utterly empty. Squall remembered with shame that Rinoa had rescued him once already from that aloneness. It looked like he'd need her to do it again, since he couldn't seem to get back into his body. Some hero he was, to so consistently need rescue. 

Logically there must be other people or other somethings around though, because he could see what his body was doing. It was fighting, purely on instinct. Squall had been quite surprised to see himself shooting water jets all over the place. It did not strike him as a terribly intelligent thing for his enemies to have done to him. 

But then, if he couldn't get back into his body to control it, it might just be a pretty damn smart thing to have done. There was no way for his friends to know that he wasn't doing this. It was, after all, _his_ body. 

Then it occurred to him to wonder why he wanted to get back into his body at all. He remembered what _that woman_ had had done to him, every second of it, crystal clear. He couldn't even think of it without shuddering. At least in his current state he wouldn't have to worry about anyone touching him, ever again. And he was pretty sure _that woman_ couldn't sense him. He hadn't felt the touch of her mind since being split like this. And for that he was incredibly grateful. There was probably not a word big enough for how much gratitude he felt for that. But Rinoa...if he did not go back, would that be failing Rinoa again? Or would he be doing her a kindness, freeing her to find someone who had more to give? 

He thought at first to spy on his captors and find out what their plans were. That was when he realized he couldn't see anyone else. Things moved, but he didn't see the movers - or in fact any objects in motion. They'd just be in one place, and when he looked again they'd be somewhere else. The only thing in motion he could see was his own body. Everything else was just...background. 

Lacking any other options, he found himself following his body out of the complex and into the world. He noted where it was, cleverly hidden, just on the offchance that the knowledge might come in handy. He had no idea if he'd ever get back into his body, and no real idea whether he _wanted_ to - but if the chance came, and he decided to take it, killing the brown-eyed woman very slowly would be one of the top five reasons why. 

It was very strange how his emotions were dulled. He really didn't feel much of anything about anything. He didn't even feel emptiness. It was just...a state of _uncaring_. Except on two points; he very definitely felt an entire gamut of unpleasant things when he thought of his captivity...and he very definitely felt love for Rinoa. Amazing, that love could survive in a state where almost every other emotion was deadened. It might not have been enough to get him out of time compression, but it had broadened and deepened over the past few months. He doubted his worthiness as Rinoa's friend or companion, and doubted that she could love him when he had so little to offer, but not his love for her. It had to be love, when even distantly thinking about the word made him blush scarlet. 

But the two balanced out his life quite perfectly. Love would have driven him to live, but the idea of having to face what had been done to him told him he could quite happily die right now, just so that he could never be touched again. And after days of the brown eyed woman's insinuations, he could no longer be certain Rinoa wanted _him_. 

He and his body spotted the Ragnarok at about the same time. To Squall it was like watching very bad stop-motion photography - he couldn't see the great ship move, but every time his eyes blinked or looked at something else and looked back, the ship had moved. 

He watched his body take up an assassin's position behind some rocks. He couldn't see anyone, so he couldn't even tell whether a warning might be in order. He saw himself raise his arms, and his hands make fists. This, he knew, presaged a water strike. 

Then he saw Rinoa, and shouted 'Duck!' before remembering that he wasn't exactly corporeal. 

And she reached out - presumably to whoever was with her - and hit the ground just before his body released the strike near to where she had been standing. 

His body hadn't been aiming for her? Well, that was a relief and he wasn't going to quibble about it - not now. 

Then it occurred to him that it was a bit odd that he could actually _see_ Rinoa, when he hadn't seen anyone else. She had the glowing eyes and white wings of her Sorceress-self. And, apparently, she had heard him. She had, after all, ducked. 

Heartened, he tried again: "Rinoa, it's me." 

But this gained no response; whether she could not hear him, or was choosing to ignore him, in his current state of confusion he couldn't say. She was watching his body, which had for some mysterious reason just charged a rock. He was not surprised at the strength of the punch or the distance of the jump; he'd seen his body doing lots of such things over the past few days and concluded it had something to do with Odine's incredibly painful serums. However, he was a tad concerned when he remembered that it was his gunblade hand that had done the punching. Shuriken appeared in his clothes and on his body, from where he had no idea, but they didn't seem to have hit anything vital. At least, it didn't appear to have affected his body any. 

This was much stranger than watching his body fight invisible monsters, that he could see only when they died and quit moving. 

Then he saw Rinoa spread her wings and _fly_ right for him, picking him up off the ground. 

This was a twofold surprise; the first was that it stopped his body cold, which was an immense relief - and the second was that she was able to do it. He'd never thought those wings of hers actually _worked_ in a functional sense. Ultimecia certainly had never flown with hers. Unless you counted floating, but magic could do that. 

Rinoa shook her head. "I didn't _do_ anything," she said to the empty air. "I picked him up, but I expected him to attack me just like you guys. He just went all limp. I didn't cast a thing on him. I wasn't thinking...I just didn't want him to get hurt." 

Then she nodded and cast a spell on him. Squall couldn't tell what spell it might be, he couldn't feel anything or see any difference in himself. He watched his limp body carried on board the Ragnarok by an invisible person, and saw Rinoa fade from view also. 

"Rinoa, come back," he pleaded in the vain hope some part of her might hear. It had been such a comfort to see another human being...or maybe it had just been a great comfort because it had been Rinoa. He certainly would not have been happy to see the brown-eyed woman again. 

He ran full-tilt to make sure he was on the Ragnarok before his body, just so it couldn't take off without him. Rinoa was on board, he knew, even if he couldn't see her any more. 

Disembarking was very strange. His body floated out first, but paused on the ramp. And then whoever had his body started moving quickly. He wondered what was going on in Garden that they would have to run. It was safe in Garden, wasn't it? At least he didn't get tired in his current state, and so had no problem keeping up. 

Of course they ran to the Infirmary. He watched as his body was carried into a room and put on a gurney. And lacking anything else to do, he hung around. So he got to see it wake up and proceed to start picking up something and hurl it around - at least, the medical equipment ended up jangled. In the end it looked like it was being held down on the gurney, and ropes started appearing. It was odd to see rage on his features. He didn't feel particularly angry. 

Squall wondered how long he'd been thinking of his own body as 'it'. It certainly seemed natural to do so; it wasn't _him_ at all. _He_ was right here. 

Then Rinoa appeared again, touching his cheek at the head of the bed. Squall was incredibly relieved that once again his body had not attacked her. The idea of having to sit back and watch something like that was unbearable. 

"I'd stay," said Rinoa to someone in the room. 

"Yes, stay, please," pleaded Squall. "Don't disappear again!" The utter aloneness of this existence was too close to the time-compressed world. Apart he might want to be, but he'd learned that he couldn't handle complete aloneness. 

"Nothing," protested Rinoa. "I don't know why this happens any more than you do. What's wrong with him?" 

Squall blinked. Good thing she'd asked, because _he_ certainly didn't know. But then, he wouldn't hear the answer. He sat down on a chair, more out of habit than anything else. "If you can hear me," he said halfheartedly, "Would you repeat the answer to that?" 

But of course she didn't hear. She just sat there, stroking his cheek. He saw his hand raised, and assumed she must have company. Given the bloody mess his hand was in, he sincerely hoped it was Kadowaki. 

"Yes," said Rinoa. "He punched a rock. He was aiming for Zell." 

Zell? Zell had been there? Squall blew out a long breath. His body had tried to kill Zell. Zell could be a noisy pain in the ass, but he didn't deserve to die for it. Maybe held in a fountain for a while, just for the quiet, but not killed. In an odd way, Squall sometimes found Zell's endless chatter soothing. He'd gotten used to it over the years, at any rate. 

The fact that he would not hear Zell again as long as he was in this half-real state could probably be counted a mixed blessing. 

"He cracked the rock he hit," said Rinoa. "And he was definitely aiming for Zell. They were roommates?" 

All right, that made it certain she was talking to Kadowaki. Any of the medical cadets would have circulated that age-old rumor about him and Zell being lovers. But Kadowaki was honest. He hoped she didn't repeat the rumor for completeness' sake. It had been bad enough the last three times around. Yeesh. Show a little compassion for a hyperactive kid who repeatedly got the shit beaten out of him, and now he must be sleeping with the guy because he wasn't involved with any of the shallow hairspray-high female cadets. And they wondered why he'd developed a cold attitude. 

Rinoa smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck. Just then, Squall would have given anything to be within his body and able to feel her arms. She nestled her head on his shoulder as if it were a pillow, lips against his ear and just barely brushing his earring. (Watching his body fight as the earring had been put back in had been pure entertainment, even though he couldn't see who his body was fighting.) 

Rinoa looked up and said, "Come in." 

_What, more visitors?_ Squall frowned. Of course he'd get more visitors when unable to respond than when he was perfectly fine and in his own room. They didn't have to worry about him telling them to go away. 

Rinoa shook her head wearily. "No," she said softly. "Doctor Kadowaki said he might have been drugged - probably - and took some blood for tests. She hasn't come back yet." 

Oh, was that the theory? "Thanks for getting around to repeating that," he said absently. Hey, if it worked it worked. Given the multitude of injections he remembered receiving at the hands of Odine, it was as good an explanation as any. They certainly hadn't given him anything else. 

She closed her eyes briefly and nodded. "All right," she said. "I was planning on staying here, anyway. Doctor Kadowaki said neither magic nor tranquilizers were helping." 

Huh? Rinoa had to stay here? Which, of course, he wasn't going to object to - her voice was the only thing he could hear, and other than his own body she was the only person he could see. But for her to have to stay here for reasons not related to his own well being spoke of very bad things happening in Garden. 

Rinoa frowned. "He should be," she said, and moved from her seat at the head of the bed to Squall's left hand, gloved as it always was. Gently she pulled the glove off. Griever was there, shining platinum snug around his finger. Momentarily Squall was relieved that the brown-eyed woman had not decided to keep it. "Should I test it?" she asked. "Can't be a safer place to try than here, I suppose." 

Squall realized there was only one thing she could be trying to do - and he had no intention of watching his only companion hurled through a doorway. He jumped for her, and cried, "No!" 

But of course this had no effect. Rinoa cast her spell...but Griever did not throw her anywhere. It just flashed and lay still. Rinoa reached out and touched the band, and Squall held his metaphorical breath until he saw she wasn't hurt. "I guess you were right," she said softly. "It won't hurt you." 

"Like I care about that right now," he said savagely. "Damnit, Rinoa, that was a stupid thing to do. Please don't give me a heart attack or whatever it is ghosts get, all right?" 

Then he noticed his hand being raised, and the ropes around his body were coming undone. Rinoa started working on them, too. Someone was holding him up and Rinoa was removing his jacket! "Hey, knock that off, Rinoa," he tried. Bad enough to have been nude in front of that ..._shudder_...mob, but for Rinoa to do so in front of his friends - or whoever was in the room... 

Rinoa was staring at the bruises now visible on his arms. Squall winced; the reminder of that big room, and the chains...he might have spared a word of comfort for Rinoa having to see that, but at the moment he was having enough trouble coping just on his own. 

"His shirt's on inside out," she said in a voice filled with dread. "Go get Doctor Kadowaki...and if she doesn't come right away tell her I am going to fry her." 

_Oh, great Hyne._ That was enough to startle Squall out of his memories. "No, Rinoa...no..." 

If she could hear him - and so far actual requests or orders seemed to get a response - he had to stop her hurting anyone with her power. "Don't hurt anyone over this, please?" he pleaded. Bad enough to have it happen in the first place - and that was a _big_ Bad Enough - but if it made her into another Adel or Ultimecia he was going to quit trying to live. Better to die than to be the one who would have to kill her. That, at least, he was quite sure of. 

Some time passed, how much Squall wasn't sure. He was having a hard time deciding whether he should continue trying to reach Rinoa; he couldn't really say whether she was hearing him or whether her responses to his requests were purely coincidental. Then someone raised his arm and pushed back the sleeve of his jacket, showing the marks of the chains, and Squall flinched. 

Rinoa asked, "Why?" then paused, and nodded a few times. Squall wished she would talk so he would know what was going on, but no such luck. This time she tried to look determined, strong...the perfect SeeD. It almost made Squall want to cry; he could tell that she was deeply frightened of something, and she was trying to be brave. And there was nothing he could do, in his current condition, to comfort her. He cast a glance over at his body on the gurney. There probably wasn't anything he could do, anyway. 

Squall watched as his jacket was removed, hoping it was just Kadowaki and Rinoa in the room and no one else. But he couldn't tell. "See his shirt?" said Rinoa quietly. 

Squall wondered for a moment what she was talking about - then realized it was on inside out. He spared a bitter chuckle; he knew his body had given his captors a good fight to get his clothes back on him at all. Considering the water blasts and punches his body had thrown, it was incredible they'd managed as well as they had. Rinoa then held him upright as best she could while someone removed Squall's shirt. 

Squall was unprepared for the sight of himself that was now presented to him. He reached out to his own body and realized he knew _exactly_ how each and every bruise had come to be, burned into his memory so deeply he could probably junction every GF until the end of time and still remember. He barely registered Rinoa stepping back, reaching out her hand. He realized he was shaking. He laughed bitterly at himself. He was a ghost, or some equivalent, and nothing on earth could touch him. And the sight of bruises - not wounds, just _bruises_ - set him shaking in his boots like a frightened child. Some hero he was. 

But he couldn't deny that - as deeply as he never wanted to feel another person's touch or nearness ever again for as long as he lived - he wanted Rinoa's arms around him. He supposed it was possible for ghosts to go crazy; it certainly didn't seem sane to want to have Rinoa's arms around him and - _at the same time_ - never want anyone to get within arm's length of his body for the rest of his life. He vaguely noticed Rinoa leaving the room, but he couldn't bring himself to move. He watched, hypnotised, as his clothes were removed and every ugly mark was revealed. Gods, they'd even managed to bruise his fingers and toes. He had suck-marks on his _ankles_, for Hyne's sake. And he remembered it, he really did. And in his current state, memory was about the same as re-living it. He didn't realize for a few minutes that he was shaking. 

He barely noticed the tears streaming down his cheeks. There was no one to see, and in a way it was a relief to be able to cry. The brown-eyed woman had kept him from any expression of pain other than the scream she had wanted. The part of him that always wondered such things wondered what his friends would think of him, to know that something like this would bring him to tears. _They_ touched all the time, after all. No big deal, right? How the brown-eyed woman had loved teasing him about that. How only Squall Leonhart could be tormented by people who weren't quite touching him, or only touching him lightly on places like his hands or feet. Of course, she hadn't stopped there... 

His body was lifted off its gurney and put on a proper medical bed, and restrained. And then, to his immense relief, someone put a blanket over his entire body, leaving only one arm outside the covers. Griever glittered in the medical-room lights. 

The door opened and Rinoa was back, with IV equipment. Squall looked down at himself in surprise, and realized he couldn't remember when he'd last eaten. He would have watched them hooking it up, but realized Rinoa wasn't going to stay. Well and good; he could do without any more reminders just at present. Or ever, come to think of it. 

He didn't hear what Rinoa heard, of course. But it was Kadowaki's office, and he knew there wasn't a more knowledgeable medic in Garden. Part of him felt a bit put-upon, that Kadowaki would share confidential medical knowledge with anyone. But mostly he was relieved, because this meant that he would never have to find words to tell Rinoa himself. Let her hear the clinical medical version. It would probably be easier to handle. Just so long as there weren't any others in the room. The idea of looking his friends in the eye, knowing they _knew_ what he'd gone through...no. He'd take it to his grave rather than face that. 

He felt like dying for the second time that day when he saw Rinoa crying. Rinoa should never cry, his whole view of the world went crazy when she did that. Rinoa was the bright thing in his life, the first positive thing he could remember happening to him. "Why did you tell her?" he asked the air, knowing Kadowaki had to be in the room. "Why did you make her cry?" And there was nothing he could do to comfort her. He couldn't pretend to be strong - his body was tied to a bed in another room. He couldn't murmur soothing words, either. There weren't any that were both soothing and true, and Squall had never gotten the hang of lying. And there wasn't any guarantee she could hear him in any case. How unbearable it was, to have proof that he mattered to her, and have it be this. 

She got up and stumbled to the door, still sniffling a little bit. She opened it and stared, then said, "If you're going after whoever did this, I'm going with you." 

"Oh, no," said Squall. "No, that's what they want! No, Rinoa!" The idea of Rinoa in those chains, in that room - no. A coward he might be that it could throw him out of his body, bring him to tears...but that was as nothing to the idea of watching Rinoa endure it. 

Rinoa shook her head in response to some remark. "I ... I can't say," sounding like she was fighting back tears. "But they...the Doctor says they ... she says they _broke_ him. Sort of...drove him crazy." 

Trust Kadowaki to use the most simple terms. He shuddered, but acknowledged the Doctor was probably right. He certainly seemed to be in pieces, and his body wasn't acting at all sane. He suspected that if he were within his body he'd feel a great deal worse than he did right now. Yes, broken probably was right. 

"You don't want to know," said Rinoa heavily. "Kadowaki told me and I'm not sure I like knowing myself. Except that whatever we do to those responsible - and I plan on doing a lot - we'll still end up being nicer to them than they were to him." 

_Bless you, Rinoa._ The idea of the whole group and anyone else within earshot finding out what had happened was too much to handle. _Thank you, Rinoa, for keeping it to yourself. I owe you one._

Then Rinoa left her spot by the door and charged - there was no other word - to the middle of the room. "You think I'm not good enough, don't you!" she flared. "Do I have to take one of your tests to prove I can do this? Squall taught me himself, I can do anything you need me to do. He's stuck here - like _that_," and she flung an arm in the direction of his room, "and by the Hyne I am going to pay back those responsible! He's my Knight, as well as my partner. I let him be taken, I have to make up for it." 

"Which is exactly what they wanted," said Squall miserably. _Her Knight_. Yes, if he got back, and she still wanted him after all that trouble, he would be her Knight. "Damnit, Rinoa, you're letting them manipulate you!" 

Her eyes began to glow, and the angelwings started to take shape behind her, steely, silvery gray. "Should I tell you what they did to him?" she said in the clearest voice he'd heard yet. "Should I tell you that they heaped pain upon pain until his mind couldn't face his own body any more? There will be blood for blood paid and I will be sure to extract every drop!" 

"I'd rather you didn't," said Squall, but he was trying not to panic. Her wings were _gray_...oh Hyne, her _wings_ were _gray_...please calm down, Rinoa, please calm down, don't make me responsible for this..."Look at yourself, Rinoa," he pleaded, putting his whole heart into it. "Don't do this for me, please." Please let her hear me, please let her hear me... 

Rinoa tilted her head, seemingly puzzled for a moment out of her anger. She summoned a Reflect spell and Squall took the only chance he had. He concentrated on the idea of being visible as hard as he could, and stood right behind Rinoa so that if the spell could reflect his image, it would. He had no idea if it worked, but her jaw dropped open, and she released her magic. Her eyes faded, her wings disappeared...and Rinoa crumpled in a heap on the floor of the Infirmary, crying as though her heart had broken. 

And again, there was no way for him to comfort her. Squall promised himself right then that if he managed to get back into his body, he would make up for not being able to hold her now. Someone drew her up - he saw her being pulled, looking into empty air with an attitude of listening. Then she picked up a book beside her, and went back to the room where his body was resting. 

Of course, Squall followed her. She seated herself behind his head again, wrapped her arms around his body's neck, buried her face in his shoulder, and wept. Occasionally he would hear her saying, "I'm sorry," over and over again. 

Squall sighed. So far today she'd managed to scare the wits out of him at least twice, but he had no idea whether she should feel sorry about that. It felt strange to know that someone cared enough about him to want to avenge him, even if they couldn't be allowed to carry through on it. He'd always done his own avenging - had even planned on doing so, if and when a time arrived that he could return to his body. Having Rinoa do it seemed wrong. 

"But _do_ you want to return to your body, my son?" said a voice behind him. 

He spun, surprised to hear a voice that was not Rinoa's. 

He completely lost control of his features as he realized it was his mother, Raine. 

* * * * * * * *

Raine smiled happily up at him, eyes as gray as his own twinkling with laughter as she took in his shock at seeing her. She was a short woman, coming up only as high as his shoulders, but it didn't seem to bother her. 

He was very sure he hadn't been speaking. Could Raine read minds too? Had he no privacy, even here? 

"You haven't been alone since the first day you set Griever on your finger," smiled Raine. "You think you've got lips to speak with, Squall? You're not in a phyisical body any more - and you're a pretty loud thinker. Anyone who's interested has been listening in since you showed up here." 

Oh, great. Not just one madwoman, but anyone? "Who's anyone?" he asked. 

"Welcome to the world of the dead, Squall," said his mother. "Also known as eternity." 

_But I'm not-_

"Dead?" Raine finished his thought. "No, you're not. Not yet, anyway. But you can feel yourself getting more distant from your body, can't you? Caring just a little bit less with each hour?" 

Squall frowned, trying to work out what 'thinking quietly' might be and how to do it. 

"So, if I'm not dead, what am I doing here?" he asked. "And where's every other dead person?" _Not that I mind not seeing them_, he thought. _Good grief, there must be so many you couldn't see the physical world at all for all the people._

"It's not as bad as all that," Raine said, seating herself on the edge of his bed. "Really, the only people you see are the ones you're willing to see, and who are willing to see you. Well, except for you. Everyone's been watching you and Rinoa." 

"Are we some sort of dead cinema or something?" said Squall, nettled. 

"It's just that we can see you. You aren't seeing your body because it's yours, Squall. You're seeing it because Griever is on your finger. And Rinoa is a Sorceress, and Sorceresses don't exactly obey the usual laws of time and space." 

"And you could read my thoughts then too?" 

"No. Just since you came here. You're not the first person Alicia has sent here, this way." 

This cought Squall's interest. "Alicia - the brown-eyed woman?" 

"We don't know what she looks like," said Raine sadly. "We can't see her. But we have had a few people show up here who are obviously not dead yet. They couldn't find their bodies, but their. . . images?. . .reflected their body starving to death. You're lucky that your friends found you. When Alicia locked you into a moment of pain, you wanted nothing more than to not be there. So you both got your wish; to exist in one moment is to exist outside of time, and you got that existence outside of your body. You threw yourself out, and she locked the door behind you." 

Squall leaned against the wall of his room. "So you wouldn't know if I can get back, then," he said. 

His mother shook her head, thick falls of fine brown hair spilling over her shoulders. "None of the others managed it," she said, "But then none of the others had the love of a Sorceress, or a ring like Griever. But still - do you _want_ to go back?" 

"Rinoa's crying over me," Squall said simply, nodding to where she sat at the head of his bed. 

Raine nodded as though this were an answer. "I should warn you, then," she said. "If you manage to get back, you're going to have to deal with whatever was done to you in the underground place. You've got a twofold barrier; your own pain threw you out of your body, and Alicia's power is what keeps you out. You'll have to deal with both." 

Squall stared at her. "You were . . .watching?" 

"Well, I couldn't see what hurt you, but of course I stayed. You were so afraid. Where else would I be?" Raine sounded mildly surprised that he would think she might be elsewhere. 

Squall was not so happy now that he'd been left his ring in that chamber. Who else had been watching? It was deeply embarassing to think that, while all that was going on, his mother had been watching him. 

"I suppose you'd better tell me about Griever," he said to change the subject. "Laguna said it was yours." 

"Yes," said Raine. "Actually, it's more accurate to say it is the property of the Leonhart line." 

"Back how far? And why am I Leonhart when you married Laguna?" 

Raine wrinkled her nose at him. It seemed that there was nothing that could dampen her cheerful spirits. "Full of questions, aren't you," she said. "I'll tell you what I know, which is probably more than you'd be able to get out of the people of Winhill." 

She held on to one knee and leaned back against the medical cabinets. "You're a Leonhart because the people of Winhill resented Laguna," she began. "I had discussed names with the midwife, but it never occurred to me that you would not be a Loire so I didn't specify that you had to be one. I was married to Laguna, I had taken the name Loire. . .it seemed so obvious I didn't talk about it. When I died, I suppose they gave you my family name because they felt Laguna had forfeited his right to call you his by not being there. The fact that you were taken to an orphanage rather than to Laguna was probably their idea also. We all knew he was in Esthar, after all." 

"Did. . .Laguna know about me?" asked Squall. He couldn't trust Laguna's answer. He had to trust Raine's. 

"Actually, no," said Raine. "I didn't know I was pregnant myself until after he'd gone. And I spent most of my pregnancy wishing he'd come back in time. However," and here Raine reached out and gave Squall's bangs a gentle tug, "I can see how Laguna would know you were his son. You're the right age, his height, and without a doubt my son." 

Squall would not have seen what she meant if his own body had not been laid out before him. Looking from his own face to the face of his mother, there was an almost uncanny resemblance. Though his own face was cast in a much more serious expression than Raine's smiling visage. 

"But to get back to your question," Raine said, "Griever has been in the Leonhart line since its beginning. The story I was told - and I did verify this with the person in question later on - was that the founder of our line was a Knight to a ruling Sorceress of Centra, before the Lunar Cry destroyed it. He performed what he swears was a 'routine act of bravery'," and here Raine laughed, "and the Sorceress made the ring for him and gave it to him as a token. Sorceresses can have more than one Knight, by the way. It seems this Sorceress had somewhere in the vicinity of fifteen or so, which was why she felt the need to present our ancestor with the token of favor. She made the ring in the likeness of a lion to represent his courage and bravery, and the Knight took the name Leonhart to honor the gift." 

Raine smiled at Squall. "I understand you think of the ring the same way, don't you? To me it was always just jewelry, an heirloom with a pretty story. Anyway. . .much later on, the Sorceress died in some sort of attack. Leonhart had been too far away to reach her in time. That was when the ring got the name Griever; he had loved the Sorceress and grieved for her death." 

Raine paused. "That might be when it started doing this," she said, indicating Squall's body on the bed. "After Leonhart died, the Sorceress told him that she'd been able to see him and hear him even though she was here, in eternity. She'd made the ring using her magic, and a Sorceress' magic isn't bound by the usual constraints. The ring picked up a touch of eternity." 

"So why does it react to Sorceress' magic?" asked Squall. 

"Because a Sorceress made it for her Knight. You saw yourself; when Rinoa cast a spell on the ring while you were wearing it, it only flashed. When she tried casting it on the ring while you weren't wearing it, it repelled her." 

Raine looked thoughtful for a moment, and Squall noticed his arm being lifted, and a little container for drawing blood appeared. "Hey, I've had enough of needles," he said to Rinoa. Then he turned to Raine. "Does she hear me?" he asked. 

"Yes and no," said Raine. "She can sense your desires if she listens, but she can't hear you speak, at least as far as any of us have been able to tell. I suppose there's something else I'd better tell you." 

Squall eyed his mother warily. "You've been very free with your information," he said. "Is there a catch for this?" 

Raine's thoughtful expression relaxed into another of her gentle smiles. "I suppose I should have expected that from you," she said. "After all, you don't know me half as well as I know you. No, there's no catch. I tell you these things because you are my son, and you aren't dead yet. I may never have the chance to speak with you alive again, and I hope if you do return that it's years before you see me again." 

She paused, and then continued. "There's something that happens sometimes between a Sorceress and her Knight," she said. "Maybe once in a thousand years, maybe not even that often. But if both the Sorceress and her Knight are especially gifted, and if they're in love, and if they're together at the time, they can - join. Become one being. It makes them both much stronger than they would be apart. Griever was given to Leonhart not just as a token of favor, but as a sort of - willpower battery, I suppose. The Sorceress had intended to join with Leonhart, and Griever would make that joining both easier and more powerful. Leonhart was very surprised to find this out, that his Sorceress had thought so much of him. But of course they never got to test it; the Sorceress died far away from Leonhart. And Griever's been passed down in our line ever since. You're the first Knight in our line since Leonhart, Squall. Griever has been charged by the wills of every member of our family in a direct line for Hyne knows how long. If you join with Rinoa, the power between you would be unbelievable." 

Squall was dumbstruck. Rinoa had never said anything about this. He wondered if she even knew about it, and what she'd think of it if he told her. Never to be apart from Rinoa again. . .never to be alone again. . .then something in his mind clicked. 

Raine lightly hopped off the counter where she had been sitting. "But of course, that's hypothetical. You're not exactly able to do things like that in your current situation." 

Squall took a deep breath, and asked the question. "Raine. . .mother. . .this joined being. Are you talking about a Guardian Force?" 

Raine shrugged. "I just told you everything I know. I don't know about Guardian Forces." 

But Ultimecia's Guardian Force had been called Griever, and it had looked like the carving on his ring. And it had indeed been incredibly powerful. Had that Guardian Force. . .been him and Rinoa? Had they killed their own future selves? 

Should he return to his body, knowing that if he did he would eventually end up siding with Ultimecia? 

"You're thinking in linear terms," his mother said. "You stand in eternity; all times are one time. Ultimecia came from one of a multitude of possible futures; the only thing you know for certain is that there is a _possibility_ she will arise in _a_ future." 

Time had stumped greater minds than Squall's. His head was spinning as he tried to sort it out. He noted his body was being loaded on a ship, and Rinoa was with him. He followed automatically, but wasn't paying a great deal of attention. "You're saying Ultimecia might arise as a result of choices _not yet made_?" he hazarded. 

"Exactly," beamed his mother. "Glad you inherited more than just my looks," she said impishly. "You can set things in motion now that would change the future that you saw. One of which is absurdly simple; you can stay here. If Rinoa finds a way to bring you back to yourself, you can simply not go. Without both of you living, there can be no joining." 

"Which is the solution you prefer, isn't it," observed Squall. He had to admit it was both guaranteed to work and the easiest to effect. 

"Squall, you have no idea what it was like to watch you grow up so sad and lonely, and not be able to offer one word of comfort that you could hear," said Raine sadly. 

_I think I might_, Squall thought, looking at Rinoa's sorrowful face. But he said nothing, and Raine appeared not to hear. 

"Yes, I would like you to stay here," she continued honestly. "I'd like to tell you all about your family, that you never got a chance to know. I'd like it if you didn't have to worry about becoming a creature you would have to kill." 

Raine stopped and laid a hand on Squall's chest; instinctively, he recoiled. She withdrew her hand and smiled sadly. "But I won't ask you to for that," she said. "You reacted to me the way you do everyone - everyone but Rinoa. I argue for you to stay here because I don't care for anyone but you. If you go back to your body, you will have to deal with the emotions that are so muted in you now. You'll remember what it was to be Alicia's captive and it will hurt you. It might hurt you so much you'll be unable to face it. And you'll be alive, and unable to feel me near you, trying to comfort you. I'll have to watch you suffer through that. Squall, I would do anything rather than watch you suffer." 

Squall said nothing, and thought nothing. He watched Rinoa, her cheeks puffy from crying, her arms loosely circling his neck as she had done in the Infirmary. He wondered where they were taking him, and why, but he didn't really care. 

Raine had said she would do anything rather than watch him suffer. Looking at Rinoa's face as she gently guarded his body, Squall realized that he would do anything to never see Rinoa looking like that again. 

It was an old mercenaries' saying, much older than SeeD, that everyone had their price. The price that, if paid, a person would do anything for. It was said to be a bitter thing to know -- people didn't like knowing that there was a lever in them that could be pulled at someone else's whim. 

Watching Rinoa, Squall realized that she was his price. For her sake, for her happiness, there was nothing he would not do, nothing he would not give, nothing he would not suffer. And it was indeed an uncomfortable thing to know - that he had gotten into this whole mess because he had felt Rinoa was threatened. That he would risk becoming a servant of Ultimecia just to be with Rinoa. That he would relive three days of mind-breaking torture for the sake of having her arms around him. 

Looked at logically, it made no sense whatsoever. But his heart told him it was true; Rinoa was his price. If she opened a way for him to return to his body, come hell or high water he would take it. And it did seem likely that she would eventually find a way. Otherwise there could never have been a Griever, in any future. 

Raine seemed to sense that he'd made his decision, and didn't mention the idea of him staying in eternity again. She wasn't as cheerful as she had been, but like Squall realized this would be the only chance they would have to talk this side of death, and that time might be short. He listened while Raine talked of Winhill, of Laguna, Ellone, and of her family. And Squall's life and memories. Raine knew every word he had spoken, but had never seen his friends. Squall filled her in on what he knew, and she helped him fill some of the holes in his childhood memories. All in all, not a bad way to spend a slice of eternity. 


	17. In the Sights

# Chapter 16

## In the Sights

Laguna had been generous indeed. He had sent the fastest ship in the Estharian fleet to retrieve Squall and Rinoa, and packed it to the deck with Estharian soldiers. Xu was more than happy to make the exchange; Selphie had said time could be very short if they wanted to save Squall from the effects of his captivity. 

Once the Estharians were offloaded from their transport, and Squall and Rinoa safely away, they organized themselves into squads of twenty. Checking them over, Quistis realized Laguna had sent five hundred soldiers for this mission. 

Twenty five squads, on minimal notice, for the sake of his son. 

Xu had agreed to give charge of them to Quistis; Xu was going to lead the SeeD, sparing only one for each Estharian squad to keep communication lines open. 

A thousand men was not so much, though, when one had such a large area to cover. Classes were suspended as Garden hunkered down on the shores of Centra, the underclassmen undertaking defensive battle positions against the possibility of attack. 

Everyone was hoping that the Garden's distant position would protect it; they'd landed it a good way away from where Squall had been found, and there was small chance that a laboratory capable of what had been done to Squall would be located near a beach, given the unpredictable nature of the sea. 

Zell was practically hopping, so eager was he to get going. His official role was as Quistis' bodyguard, since the Headmaster wasn't supposed to engage in combat outside the confines of Garden itself. Quistis had informed him in no uncertain terms that if he tried to stop her, she would Degenerate him into nonexistence. 

Zell had roared with laughter at the idea he would even try. He knew who the target was, and it wasn't Quistis. 

For a while, everything was quiet. No squads encountered _anything_ unusual. No people, no installations. Just a few monsters, quickly eliminated. It occurred to Quistis that by the time they were done, Centra might be fit for re-colonization. There would certainly be a lot fewer monsters. 

Then one of the Estharian squads didn't report in on schedule. Immediately all squads, SeeD and Estharian, were alerted and began to move toward the missing squad's last known location. 

They found bits of the squad, but no sign of the SeeD that had been with them. At least, not until they found the cause. It was one man, short and thin as a rail, tossing the body of the SeeD up and down like a toy. Each toss threw the body fifteen feet in the air. Immediately Quistis' squad began to encircle the man. 

"Don't fire!" ordered Quistis. "He'll just jump and we'd shoot each other." 

The man's grin faded; apparently he'd been hoping they'd try just that. He hurled the broken corpse of the SeeD at Quistis, and stomped his foot. 

Quistis nimbly dodged the grisly missile, but the foot-stomping caused an earthquake that threw everyone from their feet. The thin man made a prodigious jump out of the encircling squad's reach, and tried to run. 

"_Now_ fire!" shouted Quistis. Immediately twenty guns blasted. The thin man fell. 

Quistis and Zell approached slowly, ready to lash out with everything they had if the man moved. But the bullets had killed him. She looked at Zell. "Brothers, would be my guess," she said. 

Zell frowned, thinking. "How poetic d'you think this girlfriend of Seifer's is?" he asked. 

Quistis looked puzzled. "No idea, why do you ask?" 

"Only...I've been wondering, why _Leviathan_ on Squall? It's a magic-user's Guardian Force, and everyone knows Squall isn't big on relying on magic. But...if you were being _poetic_..." 

"You'd choose Leviathan because a squall is often water borne on a heavy wind," finished Quistis. "I see. So you think that if this one had Brothers..." 

"_Everybody get down!_" roared Zell, just in time for another earthquake. 

"Good guess," commented Quistis, as a much larger man came out of hiding, looking very angry. "I don't think we can just shoot this one." 

"I don't plan to," said Zell. "I can take him, just watch." He grinned wolfishly, his dark tattoo giving him an almost demonic aspect for a moment. 

Quistis was forced to sit back in admiration as Zell bounded toward his foe. Zell had been Squall's partner in acrobatics for years, ever since he'd seen how useful it could be - especially given his preferred style of combat. Each time his foe called up an earth-shake that sent Quistis and the rest of the squad down, Zell simply jumped into the air in a flip - always landing closer to his goal, never toppled by the moving ground. 

When he reached the man, he didn't waste any time on fancy combat maneuvers. Instead he launched into a blindingly fast series of kicks and punches that Irvine had once called 'Armageddon Fist'. This proved to be too much even for an enhanced constitution, and his foe's neck broke with an audible _snap_. 

Zell strutted back to Quistis and gave her a hand up. "See?" he said. "No problem." 

"At least we now have an idea to work with," she said unruffled. "Though I hope we don't meet any more...brothers." 

"Oh, I dunno," said Zell. "Coulda gone much worse, if you ask me." 

* * * * * *

Raine had left. 

It wasn't so much that Squall disliked talking to her; on the contrary, it had been very pleasant. He hadn't had to worry about all the things he normally did when talking to someone, like being polite, or worrying about revealing too much of himself. Raine had watched him his entire life, and had a good idea of how he thought and felt about just about everything. 

Which, he supposed, had been the problem. There was little he could tell her that she didn't already know except where his friends were concerned - and their lives were their own. He didn't feel right about telling someone else their secrets, so he didn't. And while Raine could tell him a great deal about her side of his family, and she had filled him in on the useful parts, he had never heard of or met any of them. Since they were dead, and he wasn't planning on staying, he wouldn't meet them for a very long time. And Raine was enough like him to know that he had little interest in learning about people he'd never likely meet. 

He had gone back to watching Rinoa, and listening to Rinoa. And sometime when he was doing that, Raine had slipped away. He didn't think she was offended. She knew that he'd be back someday, after all, and she'd made sure he knew what he needed to. 

He had become rather worried when Rinoa started casting spells on him. The more time passed, the more distant Squall felt from recent events. So to him, it had seemed that Rinoa was trying to undo what had been done - that if she could erase the marks it would not have happened. He recognized it as a response to victimization, but the parts of him that should have cared seemed to be on holiday. It only struck him as odd that Rinoa should play the part of a victim, when it had been _him_ strung up in that huge, empty room. 

Then she had started reading, and Squall paid close attention. He had to admit that part of the reason for this was that there was nothing else to do, and he would latch onto just about anything if it would keep him from falling too far into his own thoughts for a while. 

He and Rinoa heard the solution in the text at about the same time. _'For the Knight to fulfil his duty, he must be able to touch the spirit of his Sorceress, to know that all is well with her. In acceptance of the position of Knight a bond is forged, allowing the Knight to sense his Sorceress' wishes and will.'_

She had smiled at his still face, and Squall had immediately perked up. So she _had_ heard him, after all. Some part of her could hear him, just as some part of him knew how she felt. He knew, somewhere, just how much she _did_ care. Good thing, too. Some of her more romantic notions would have made absolutely no sense to him otherwise. 

They _could_ reach each other; there _was_ a doorway back. It was just a matter of forcing it open. 

Raine had said that for him to return he would have to cross two barriers; the one Alicia had cast over him, locking him in one moment. And the one he had cast over himself, to escape the pain he had been in. 

He would have to trust Rinoa to break Alicia's part of the barrier. The other was quite literally his own problem. Alicia had locked him in that one moment where the psyche totters on the edge of sanity and just begins to fall; where the falling is inevitable, the abyss is in full view, and you can't bring yourself back. 

That book had better have been right. Otherwise he'd be absolutely no use to anyone. He shook his head angrily; the decision had been made, he would do whatever was needed to return, and there was no use in shaking over it. 

The treacherous voices in the back of his mind told him there'd be plenty of time for that on the other side, anyway. 

Squall took a deep, metaphorical breath and dove into himself, into the abyss. 

* * * * * * *

The exchange was accomplished so quickly that the cadets hadn't had time to realize it was taking place before it was done. 

Laguna had sent Ward to oversee the process. Rinoa couldn't help liking the giant mute, and got the hang of interpreting his whispers and facial expressions fairly quickly. But it didn't ease the pain of knowing that she couldn't help Squall, and she couldn't help avenge him. 

When Kadowaki gave her permission to heal him, she exhausted herself erasing every bruise and cut. Even when his skin had regained its usual pale perfection, Rinoa kept casting until she couldn't even manage a simple cure. Then she wrapped her arms around Squall's neck, and softly read to him from _'The Sorceress' Knight'_. 

Quistis had been so right. The book was invaluable. Among other things, it hinted that once someone became a Knight, they were always a Knight. And that a Knight could touch the spirit of his Sorceress. Rinoa thought that might well be the case - why else would she be sensing him? But of course she knew what Quistis hoped; that the bond worked in reverse. Rinoa was going to wait until they arrived in Esthar for that. If it worked, great. If it didn't, she could end up in the same state as Squall. From what Selphie had said, the imitation-GF material would continue at the same rate whether Squall was awake or asleep, though Rinoa hoped her magic could slow it down. So far, the only noticeable effect was that his skin was gradually growing cooler to the touch - though all life-signs read normal otherwise. 

The trip would take a while, and Rinoa had done her best to exhaust herself. She sat at the head of the bed and nestled her head against Squall's neck and shoulder, and tried to sleep sitting like that. 

_~* Bodies all around her naked body, touching pinching fondling groping, fingers (please let those be fingers) entering every crack and orifice pushing sliding people laughing languidly sensuously like they're having a really good time but this hurts go **away** stop **touching** me trying to move flinch fight flee but there's no way to move nowhere to go no way to fight stop touching me go away leave me **alone** help me that hurts stop **please stop** rising panic mustn't scream mustn't give them any satisfaction it'll just get worse can't stop the shaking go away **stop touching me** *~_

Rinoa started awake, shaking. "Is that what they did to you?" she asked Squall's inert body softly, sadly. "I'm so sorry I didn't stop them taking you...no wonder you've fled your body. I probably would have too, faced with that." Kadowaki's description of his probable treatment had been a definite cakewalk by comparison. She thought for a moment. "I think you can hear me," she said. "I can't ask you to come back to me, not if you have to wake up to that." Gently she brushed his bangs away from his face. "But...if you're willing to come back, I'll stay with you and help any way I can. Any way you'll let me. I'll cast a Sleep spell on myself so you can share your nightmares with me...maybe it'll help you get closer to coming back." 

She sat very still for a few moments, trying to listen or sense a response. But in the end she had only her own impressions to go on, and she decided that it would probably be a good idea. At the very least she'd get a full night's sleep, which she hadn't had in some time. She made sure she wouldn't cut off her circulation, got comfortable, and cast Sleep on herself. 

She was cast into the dream again, but this time as an observer. Squall's face was a mask of pain, twisting as he fought the urge to cry out or scream, trying to deny his captors at least that small satisfaction. The whole world was disjointed in time; people would be there and then they wouldn't. And whenever they weren't, another face took their place - a cheerful, grinning Doctor Odine, always with a glowing syringe in his hands. Rinoa watched, sick to her stomach, as Odine emptied his syringe into Squall's body, and walked back unconcerned as his subject fought the effects. Rinoa could not stand to watch any more, even to know what had been done. She used her Sorceress' gift on Squall's chains and blasted them loose, and used every ounce of her Sorceress' strength to cradle Squall's bruised, naked, convulsing body to her chest, trying to offer whatever comfort she could. She could tell he was fighting it, trying not to injure her as she held him. 

"Whatever went before, I am here now," she said to him. "You are not alone." And she repeated that, over and over, a gentle mantra against his fear as his body shook. 

"S-s-s," he hissed, trying to unclench his teeth without letting his shaking make his jaw bite his tongue. "S-sorry," he managed to gasp through clenched teeth. "S-s her." 

"It's her?" said Rinoa, trying to understand. Squall couldn't move his head without losing control of it to the convulsions, but he tried to cast his eyes in the right direction. 

In the frozen dream scene, Rinoa saw a beautiful woman standing at one of the observation windows. A petite woman with long brown hair and brown eyes, dressed like a daughter of a noble house in a simple but elegant gown. She was smiling cheerfully, as though she were watching something beautiful and amusing. 

"S-s her," Squall managed to stutter. He tried to force his jaw to say the simple name, but he couldn't force his breath or jaw to obey. When the shaking slowed, Rinoa suddenly found her arms empty. She turned to find Squall chained as before, the horde of people around him again. 

Apparently the rules of the dream wouldn't let her free him. So she stared into his eyes, and tried to let him lose himself in hers. But periodically he would suddenly blink, and he'd be right back where he started. Literally; the scene would replay from the beginning. 

Rinoa studied the woman Squall had tried to point out. That must be her power, to force him to feel what was being done to him. She looked from the smiling woman to her beloved in chains, and suddenly began to understand what hatred was. This woman thought no more of Squall's life than she did of a rabbit's that she might choose to eat for dinner. 

That triggered a new thought; Rinoa studied the woman's style of dress, her features. She _knew_ her. Eldest daughter of a wealthy Galbadian House. Alicia. One of the prime reasons Rinoa had divorced herself from Galbadian high society and joined the Timber Owls. 

She turned back to Squall. "I know who she is, Squall," she said. "You don't have to tell me. It's Alicia." 

In his chains, Squall could not even nod. He did not even seem aware of her, trying not to wince as things got progressively more brutal. She tried not to cry, when Squall wasn't crying and it was happening to _his_ body. 

She couldn't free him, it seemed. And she couldn't hug him, with so many people in the way. So she reassured him as best she could, casting healing spells whenever the rough antics of his captors made blood trickle down his legs, and speaking calmly, reassuringly, of simple good things. Giving him something else to hear besides lascivious laughter, something else to focus on besides the hands and bodies that pressed him from every side. And occasionally, whenever the pain in his eyes was too much for her to bear, she would shatter his chains and hold him for the few seconds the dream would permit before he would be made as before. 

By the time the Sleep spell wore off, the only progress Rinoa could claim was being able to free him for perhaps ten seconds instead of five. But she would do this as long as it took. 


	18. Something I Can Do

# Chapter 17

## Something I Can Do

Rinoa blinked when the hatchway opened into bright morning sunlight. Laguna was standing there rigidly, with Kiros at his side and what looked to be a few dozen medics. Selphie and Irvine immediately approached them and started handing over papers and printouts while rattling off a string of - to Rinoa - unintelligible gibberish, Ward pointing out important papers as emphasis. The little army grabbed hold of the gurney and left at high speed. Rinoa would have followed but Laguna latched onto her arm with an unbreakable grip. 

His summer-green eyes were filled with a steely sorrow as he said, "I need you to tell me what's going on." 

Rinoa swallowed. She knew Squall didn't like Laguna, knew that he regarded his father as quite possibly the most bumbling idiot on the face of the planet. And that therefore he might well not take kindly to her telling the man anything. And she could sympathize with that; her own relationship with her father was hardly any better. 

But there was also no denying that, gargantuan as the man's mistakes were, he cared for Squall. And it felt wrong to deny that caring. 

He seemed to read her indecision in her face, guided her to one of the transport discs that were so popular in Esthar. "We just got the ways fixed," he said inconsequentially. "The medics will already have gotten Squall on one, and they're probably at the palace by now. There's no faster way to get there." 

The trip was both interminably long and blissfully short, watching the buildings scroll by beneath them counteracted by the emotions in Laguna's gaze, as though he could pry answers out of her by force of will alone. 

When they reached the rooms Laguna had had prepared in the Palace, he said, "Xu told me that there's someone still after him, and after you. The Palace is the most secure building in Esthar. But she didn't say who was after you, or why. I'll do all I can, but please tell me what's going on." 

Selphie looked up from where she was drawing another blood sample, and said, "Sir Laguna, someone used Squall as a lab rat, and we need Esthar's resources to try and fix the damage. We're doing all we can." Her tone was respectful - she had a touch of hero worship for Laguna - but not overly informative. 

If anything, the simple response made Laguna agitated. He pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers as though to hide his face, but his restless pacing clearly displayed his distress. 

"Tell me I can do something," he said. "There's gotta be _something_." 

Rinoa nerved herself and put a calming hand on his arm. "You can make sure they can do their job," she said quietly, "and you can make sure they leave me alone." 

"You?" said Laguna, surprised. "What are _you_ doing? Can I help?" 

"The...experiments...aren't what made Squall this way," she said. "And he wouldn't appreciate it if I told you what did. But I think I can help him undo the damage, if I'm left alone with him as much as possible." 

Laguna heard the unspoken words: _We cannot help you mend your relationship with your son._ He seemed to deflate, standing by force of will alone. "Would it be okay if Elle and I came to visit, just for a few hours at least? I don't know how I'm going to tell her about this..." 

"I don't think anyone would say you couldn't, Laguna," Rinoa said gently, then took her by-now customary seat at the head of the bed. 

Laguna watched the bustle of the medics, the fierce concentration on Selphie's face as she studied some slide under a microscope, the speed with which Irvine made notations or grabbed some piece of equipment, and the serenity on Rinoa's face as she seemed to settle in for a nap curled around Squall's head. His sigh was lost in the chaos as he left the room with a heavy heart. 

* * * * * *

It turned out that whoever was doing the GF-choosing did have a sense of fitness for the subjects at hand. Shapely women often carried the power of Shiva, blonde women carried Siren's silencing power (and were thus easily subdued), once or twice they did come across the large man/small man combination that was Brothers, and particularly cute younger people would prove to have Carbuncle's shielding powers. Every encounter was unpredictable in the sense that there appeared to be no origination point, and each powered-up person, when taken down and eventually identified, came from a different part of the world. Most had not been given their powers permanently, however - as subsequent autopsies revealed. Which meant that they _had_ to be receiving their powers from a point not too far distant. 

What was worse was the day they found Seifer and his posse. Or rather, the day the posse found them. Quistis and Zell had managed to keep losses in their squad to a minimum, and the Estharian soldiers had learned not to question orders from either - or in fact to hesitate at all. So when she heard the sarcastic chuckle and looked up to see Seifer perched on a boulder, they didn't argue when she ordered them back. 

"Nice to see you again, Instructor," sneered Seifer as he stared down at her. Quistis wondered why he looked sunburned, and why he'd abandoned his trademark white trenchcoat for a white tank-top. It wasn't particularly warm, on Centra. On the other hand, perhaps he just wanted to show off his tattoo; it seemed that sometime recently he'd gotten his red crusader's cross permanently placed on his left shoulder, the color of blood on his sunburned skin, which certainly set off his blond hair in a striking way. 

"Headmaster, actually," said Quistis, refusing to appear upset. 

Seifer looked down at her, vivid cat-green eyes sparkling with malice or mischief. "That so? Headmaster of Garden, and they send you out with Chicken-Wuss here? They sure do think a lot of you, don't they?" 

Quistis threw out an arm automatically, catching Zell across the chest as he moved forward. "We've done well enough so far," she said. "We're looking for your girlfriend." 

"Ah, the wonderful Alicia," said Seifer, and Quistis couldn't detect any mockery in his tone. "She sends her regrets, of course." Quistis wondered at his formal language for a moment, then realized he was playing Knight. 

"Seifer," she said slowly, "Alicia isn't a Sorceress, is she?" 

Seifer scowled and stood on his boulder, towering above Quistis and Zell. "Not yet," he snapped. "But soon, and she has chosen me. And you're not stepping on my dream twice." 

As he stood, they saw Fujin and Raijin appear beside him. They had been waiting, and they looked down on everyone with determination on their faces. 

"Let's see how you do against a Sorceress' Knight in a _fair_ fight," snarled Seifer, and leaped down to the attack. Fujin leaped ahead to another boulder, and promptly whirled their entire squad up in a powerful tornado. Raijin brought his fists together and threw a lightning bolt at Zell, who nimbly leaped out of the way. 

Quistis drew her whip and snapped it at Seifer, aiming for his gunblade sheath. He'd be almost impossible to defeat if he got time to draw Hyperion. He responded much more quickly than she thought he could, and grabbed the tip of her whip - pulling her close. As he moved to put an arm around her, she dropped into a spin-kick that swept Seifer off his feet. He snarled and threw his hands out, and billowing flames engulfed Quistis. She screamed as her hair started to catch, and reflexively called on her blue magic. Aqua Breath's bubbles quenched the fire, but for some reason Seifer reacted as though she had thrown acid on him. He screamed and threw her away from him as hard as he could, so that she landed hard against a boulder some thirty feet away. 

Raijin decided to kickbox with Zell, being almost as good. And with his enhanced speed, strength, and endurance, he was holding his own. When he glanced over and saw Seifer was thoroughly distracted, he whispered "You gotta save him," to Zell. 

Zell, who had never liked Seifer in the first place and didn't see a reason to save anyone who had just tried to set Quistis on fire, responded with, "Yeah, sure. And Shiva's a purple mushroom." 

"He can't...help it," whispered Raijin in between halfhearted strikes that nevertheless kept Zell busy. "We're gonna get him outta here. We can't fight Alicia. Ya gotta help." 

When Quistis used her Aqua Breath and Seifer reeled, Raijin quit pretending to fight Zell. Instead he yelled, "Seifer's hurt!" and bounded over to where Seifer was acting as if blinded. Fujin let her whirlwind slowly dissipate, depositing Estharian soldiers left and right. The two grabbed Seifer and ran, while Zell checked Quistis' burns and injuries. She would live, but he would have to get her back to Garden. 

Zell looked around. All of the Estharian soldiers of their squad had recovered, though not a few were very dizzy. Fujin and Raijin hadn't really been fighting, he realized. They had done just enough to convince _Seifer_ that they were fighting. Only Seifer had truly wanted to hurt anyone. Zell shook his head; it wouldn't be the first time his posse had tried to protect Seifer from his own weaknesses, but this was beyond strange. Why wouldn't they just leave until Seifer came to his senses, as they had before? Why pretend to fight? 

Zell cast some of his curaga spells on Quistis, and this helped her recover enough that she was able to stand under her own power. "Zell, did you see?" she gasped. 

"See what? See Seifer set you on fire? Yeah, I saw that. His punching-lights-out tab is just getting _huge_." 

"No," gasped Quistis. "That wasn't Acid I cast, Zell. I was just trying to put the fire out. Aqua Breath shouldn't have hurt him like that. But it did. Zell, he threw flames at me. I think Alicia gave him Ifrit. He's acting like it's summer down here, he's all sunburned, and he reacts to water like it's acid." 

"Serves the bastard right," growled Zell. "I dunno, Raijin wants me to save him but I think he needs to lose a few _teeth_." 

Quistis turned to face him, hair still smoking a bit, wet blond strands blackened around her face. "Raijin wants what?" she asked. 

Zell reached out to give her a hand as they indicated to the soldiers they would be returning to Garden. "Raijin. Said when we were playing that he wants us to save Seifer. Said they couldn't fight Alicia. Don't know where he got the idea we'd bother, honestly." 

Quistis looked around, and realized she was the only casualty. "I think he might have meant it, Zell," she said slowly. "He could have fried you with that lightning bolt attack, I think, but he went barefist with you instead. And Fujin could have killed the whole squad with her whirlwind, but they all seem fine to me. I think they really _didn't_ want to fight. They just can't convince Seifer, and are afraid to leave him alone with Alicia." Quistis limped along in silence for a bit, then said, "I don't think I want to meet this woman." 

"What, just because she can turn Squall into a vegetable, Seifer into a brainwashed puppy, and scare the daylights out of Fujin and Raijin?" Zell thought for a moment, then shrugged. "I don't want to meet her either. I want to _kill_ her. At least for Squall's sake. She can play hopscotch on the posse's ribcages for all I care." 

"Zell...sometimes I envy you," sighed Quistis. "You never seem to worry about dying. If the enemy is in sight, you just attack." 

Zell laughed. "I was Squall's roommate for years, Quistis. I learned real early on to leave all the worrying to him - he does it enough for both of us. If _I'd_ started worrying, the atmosphere in that dorm room would've been unbearable. There's not much in this world that a punch to someone's jaw won't solve. And I've got people like you around for that little bit." And he grinned at her, deliberately ducking his head so that the blond spikes of his hair combined with his tattoo and his grin to make him - as Bella told him - look like a charming devil. _He_ thought it made him look like a goofball, but women were strange that way. 

Despite the pain of her burns and the horrible smell of charred hair, Quistis laughed. "I always wondered how you handled that rumor," she said. 

Pleased to have gotten a smile out of her, Zell smiled. "Nobody with half an ounce of sense believed it," he said. "Everyone in the nearest half-dozen rooms knew when we were having a fight." He smacked one gloved fist into the opposite palm. "Good practice, even if it was hard on the furniture. Damn but it was two years before I paid off the damage to that ceiling panel." 

"Squall, having a fistfight? You should have sold tickets, it would have covered the damages," said Quistis, lost in her favorite subject. 

Since this had been Zell's intention all along, he kept it up. Anything to keep Quistis on her feet until they got back to Garden. "Nah, couldn't do that," he said cheerfully. "The reason being, Squall didn't use his fists. He'd throw stuff, if it was heavy enough, and then he'd just keep _ducking_ until I got mad enough to punch through a wall without noticing. Why the hell d'you think I started taking acrobatics? Figured I'd find out how he was dodging me so fast, or at the very least _I'd_ learn how to duck his throws. Anyway, if stuff's flying around all over the place it's hard to get people to buy tickets..." 

* * * * * *

The medics had gone home. 

Selphie and Irvine had long since taken off for the night, to catch at least a few hours of sleep before heading back to work. Laguna could not help but admire their loyalty; they'd put in at least sixteen hours of work before finally agreeing they needed rest. 

The only people in the room were himself, a sleeping Rinoa, and his comatose son. Ellone visited much earlier in the day, every day, and found that she could not touch Squall with her power. Her exact words were to the effect that there was a wall in the way. She was very upset about it, and Laguna spent his afternoons trying to comfort her - even though he had very little idea what was going on himself. Squall's friends respected his choice to keep a distance from Laguna. Hence his midnight foray. 

_How long, how long must I pay for not knowing?_ he thought. _I didn't know you were born, and when I returned to Winhill Raine had died and there was no word of you. I tell you that I meant to return for you, but that isn't true. I meant to return for Raine, but I was too late. And there is nothing I can say to you that will make everything all right. The truth is unbelievable to your ears - not when I knew at first sight of you that you were my son._

Laguna stepped quietly around the lab, looking for indications of what was wrong. Part of him felt guilty for sneaking answers to questions the SeeDs obviously didn't want to answer, but another part said he was the President around here, volunteering all the resources of his country, and he ought to know what these people were doing with those resources. Especially since it was for his own son. Hyne, it still felt weird to know that he _had_ a son. He'd gotten pretty good over the years at puzzling through scientific jargon. Sitting through Odine's funding requests had been an extensive training in scientific vocabulary. 

He was careful not to disturb the placement of anything, reading it where it rested. As he sifted through Irvine's transcriptions, he found the answers he was looking for. A cold fist squeezed his heart as he mentally translated Medical Jargon into Plain English. 

Squall was dying. 

A foreign substance replicating the power of Leviathan had invaded his system. So much of it had been used that it was taking over; speculations about the possible effects ranged from an increased thirst-impulse to physical mutation, but all calculations agreed that time was short. Possibly as short as a week, but no longer than a month. 

Most of the rest of the notes dealt with attempts to find a counteragent, or at least a slowing agent. Selphie was apparently reasonably close to finding one. Laguna resisted the urge to go and wake her up, set her back to work. He knew she would do all she could. Somehow, his son inspired incredible loyalty in his friends. 

But they had been right - there was nothing he, Laguna, could do - other than back off and let them do their jobs. He had saved an entire nation, but he could not save his son. 

It was possible that no one would recognize Laguna if they were to see him now, the smile gone from his features, the spring from his step. He thought he'd done pretty darn well to save Esthar from Adel given his usual penchant for taking the wrong road first. He took a seat at Squall's side - where Ellone had sat hours earlier - and brushed the long brown bangs (so very like Raine's, though hers had been kept under a headband) from his forehead. His skin was cool to the touch, but the lifesigns were normal. Laguna's head bowed, long black hair slightly streaked with gray covering his face. 

"Why are you here, Laguna?" said a gentle voice, startling Laguna into a reflexive jerk, as though he'd been caught napping at a meeting. Rinoa had woken up. 

A variety of explanations or excuses filtered through Laguna's mind, but none of them sounded right. "I, ah...had to be," was what he settled on. "I didn't want to interfere, you know, but...where else would I be? I didn't wake you, did I?" 

Rinoa smiled sadly. "No," she said. "I had thought to try sleeping without a sleep spell tonight, but it didn't work." 

"You're having trouble sleeping?" asked Laguna, puzzled. "Maybe using a bed would help?" 

"No, I'm having trouble _staying_ asleep," said Rinoa, a hint of ... _something_ ... in her voice. "Squall is trying to reach me, trying to wake up, but he can't do it alone." Absently, her fingers brushed Squall's cheek. "Quistis gave me a book that showed me how I might be able to reach him where he is now. When I sleep, I share in his reality." Briefly she closed her eyes and went very still, but soon continued, "It's not very pleasant. When it gets too much, I wake up. Unless I use magic." 

"You can talk with him?" Laguna asked. "Can he hear me? Can I talk with him too?" 

Rinoa was silent for a long moment - thinking, or listening. "I don't...exactly...talk with him," she said. "Though I've learned a few things that I've sent on to SeeD. And no, I don't think he can hear you, or talk with you. And - I'm sorry, Laguna - I don't think he would even if he could." 

The hope died in Laguna's eyes, and he looked for a moment like a very old man. "He's not going to forgive me, is he. I could save the world ten times over, and he still wouldn't. Raine was like that too; once she made up her mind about someone she didn't change." 

"That is between you and Squall," said Rinoa, "and I've already promised him I wouldn't get in the middle of that. You can try to mend your fences when he wakes," and here Laguna heard a fierce determination that Squall _would_ wake, "but if you wish to show him things have changed, I suggest you find Doctor Odine." 

"Odine?" asked Laguna, surprised. "I hardly see the guy, apart from his yearly funding requests." 

"Then you have a much harder job mending fences than you thought," said Rinoa - and Laguna could see condemnation in her eyes now, "because Odine played a large part in putting Squall where he is right now." 

Laguna's eyes went wide, his jaw dropped. _Odine_ had done this? _Odine_ had made the Leviathan-stuff and used it on his son? Good grief, he didn't _deserve_ any forgiveness from Squall. Not only had he left Squall to fend for himself for a large part of his life, he might just be inadvertently responsible for his death. 

Yet some part of Laguna latched on to the fact that here, at last, was something he could do. He could find Odine, or Odine's work, and maybe - just maybe - undo some of the damage he had done. Without another word he leaped up and strode from the lab. 

"Good luck, Laguna," Rinoa wished him softly, before re-settling herself and casting Sleep. 

* * * * * *

Irvine took the job of handling communications between Esthar and Garden out of self-defense. 

Selphie had a natural head for sciences, keeping track of chemical formulas that were longer than Irvine's arm when written down, and a love of mathematical problems that seemed to Irvine to be positively mystifying. He went to the lab with her in the morning to get copies of any information she wanted to forward to Garden, and then he headed for the communications center of the Presidential Palace. There he got to converse with people in plain, nonscientific language while sending on Selphie's notes and receiving transmissions from Garden. 

Lately, most of these had been casualty reports; Soldier X died in a fight with an ice-enhanced enemy, Soldier Y died in an earthquake caused by an earth-enhanced enemy…simple things like that. He dutifully kept track of these so that the Estharian officials could properly notify the soldiers' families, and award them any posthumous medals they might have earned. 

However, occasionally, being in the position of mobile comms officer meant Irvine got the pieces of a puzzle before anyone else. He knew before Garden did that Rinoa had Alicia's identity, and knew before Selphie did that Seifer had been imbued with Ifrit's power. And since he wasn't involved in any of the lifesaving work that occupied the others, he had the time to push these and many other facts around in his head until he'd reached a number of conclusions. 

Thus when he went to the com center one morning to find a message from Laguna, asking him to let anyone who needed to know that he had gone to Odine's laboratory to dig up any information he could on what had been done to Squall, it struck Irvine as an incredibly bad idea. Alicia only needed one fact to send her to Esthar; if she got it, she would not come to Esthar alone. And she'd head right for Odine's lab. 

However, no one could be pulled from their current work to go with Laguna – at least, no one in SeeD. Irvine's job might not be the most glamorous, but he knew it needed to be done. And Laguna _was_ the President of Esthar; Irvine could hardly order the man to stay put. 

So he took the next best alternative; he woke Kiros up a few hours early, and explained the situation. It took a few tries, but eventually Kiros woke up enough to understand. 

It did not surprise Irvine in the least that understanding didn't make Kiros any happier. 

Kiros grabbed his katal and told Irvine he'd get Ward and Laguna's gun and make sure everything was okay at the lab. He told Irvine to give them two days to search – the lab having a reputation for size and size-of-mess – and if they weren't back or hadn't communicated in that time, to send in the army. And in the meantime, Irvine was to keep as many people as possible from finding out that the three weren't in their offices. 

Which Irvine did, though reluctantly. Quistis' reports of Seifer's new powers had not been reassuring, and the three had no magic to defend themselves with. 


	19. Pushing Facts

# Chapter 18

## Pushing Facts

The time-lock was breaking. 

Rinoa could sense it. Each time she intervened - to take Squall's place, or to free him - it lasted just a little bit longer. She no longer waited for Squall to suffer before she tried to free him again - she hadn't liked that approach in the first place. Now, as soon as the world placed him back in chains, she blasted them free of their moorings. Sometimes, this meant that she would be placed in chains instead of Squall. 

On those occasions, her magic would not free her. The chains were breakable only if she were not in them. In them, she was as helpless as Squall had been. But when this happened, Squall would be nearby, fully clothed and fully armed, and extremely pissed off. Lionheart would make short work of the chains, and things would be as before. So far, the longest she'd been in the chains herself at a single time was about thirty seconds - and that had only been on the first time it occurred. 

That was when she had learned Alicia's power. In this strange non-reality, Alicia reacted to both of them equally. When Rinoa had tried to focus on Squall, she had felt the touch of Alicia's power pulling her attention very forcefully to the invasive presences on every side. But touch was not Rinoa's nightmare, so it didn't affect her as badly, even though a few of the presences were very uncomfortable. Then Lionheart had sliced through the chains, and the spell was broken. 

Once Rinoa was in the 'observer' position again, she added this new knowledge to the old rumors that had circulated about Alicia in Deling City. The conclusions she came to were not reassuring, but she would pass them on to Xu and Quistis nonetheless. 

The sequences seemed to be moving forward in time. Squall was only aware of her when she freed him, and when he was bound would only respond rarely and at the beginning of the sequence. Slowly more bruises appeared on his body. Slowly more people were added, slowly the things they did to him were rougher and more cruel, slowly his reaction to Odine's injections grew more severe. Even using her power to constantly break the chains shortly after they came back, this kept happening. Rinoa suspected that what she was doing was forcing the scene forward rather than changing it, from Squall's point of view. She wondered what he saw when she took his place. 

Well, if the only way to get him back was to force the scenes forward in time, Rinoa was willing to do that. But the process was slow. Eventually she realized that her first approach had been the most effective; to break the chains only when it looked like Squall was close to madness. She could force the scene forward from that point and it would not replay. And when she took his place, it seemed to give him energy. But whether she took his place or not did not seem to be a choice she had any control over. 

She would do this as long as it took. 

* * * * * * *

"We've GOT 'em!" cried Zell as he burst onto the bridge, where a recuperating Quistis and Xu were comparing notes. "Rinoa's found a way to talk with Squall, and she's working on bringing him back. She said to tell you the book was a big help." 

"Glad to hear it," said Quistis with a smile. "Got who?" 

"Didn't I say?" asked Zell, and at their shaking heads he said, "Oh. Anyway...Rinoa said she saw this Alicia girl while she was doing whatever she's been doing to reach Squall...didn't really understand that part," he hesitated. "Anyway...she recognized the girl. She said Alicia is the eldest daughter of a wealthy Galbadian family. Which probably explains why Odine would work for her, 'cause she can pay him. Anyway, Rinoa says Alicia's been a problem for years. Spoiled rotten, you know. When the Delings were in power, all Alicia would talk about was how her family was more worthy, yada yada, and now that Galbadia's in chaos Rinoa thinks Alicia's trying to build a power base." 

Xu blinked, puzzled. "Then why turn these people loose in Centra?" she asked. 

"Word will get around," said Quistis grimly. "Most of the Estharian troops have fought her people by now, and casualties are sometimes heavy. Anything that can do this kind of damage to Estharian troops would scare the Galbadian generals very badly." She shook her head. "Laguna's going to have trouble if we can't stop this. Esthar's had peace for years because everyone accepted it as the strongest nation." 

"What else did Rinoa tell you?" asked Xu. 

Zell paused, running down a mental checklist. "Oh yeah - she thinks Alicia may have a power like Ellone's. Except that instead of being connected to the past, Alicia's is connected to the _present_." 

"Is that useful?" asked Xu. "Anyone can see the present." 

But Quistis was thinking hard. "Actually, it's the strongest power anyone could get," she said at last. "Think about it. Ellone knows what you're thinking when you go into the past - so Alicia could know what you're thinking _now_. When Ellone sends you into the past, all you know is that past world. Alicia might be able to do the same thing with the present - make you focus on one thing, to the exclusion of everything else." 

"Good guess, Quisty," said Zell. "Rinoa said when she ... did whatever it is she does to talk to Squall, Alicia used her power. Rinoa said Alicia can intensify a moment or lock you into it. She thinks that's what Alicia did to Squall - locked him into a moment of pain, so that's all he knows. She's working on breaking him out of it, but it'll take time. She has to find out exactly _where_ the lock is, to break it. Or rather, exactly _when_." 

Xu frowned. "While it's good to know what happened to Squall, I think this means we have trouble. How can we find someone who can read our minds, sense our thoughts? How do we sneak up on her?" 

"Well, Rinoa forwarded a photograph," said Zell, and handed it over. "But as to anything else, heh. _You're_ the Headmaster and the Commander. _I'm_ just a lowly SeeD." And in his voice, they could hear a clear _thank the Hyne!_

Quistis tapped a pencil down on the table, thinking. "I think we owe Fujin and Raijin an apology," she said. "Assuming Rinoa is completely correct in her estimations of Alicia...she really _could_ do to Seifer what Raijin claimed she did. Although I must admit it's difficult to consider Seifer as a candidate for sexual slavery," she finished with a smile. 

Zell grimaced. "You mean we really _do_ have to save him?" he said sourly. "Man, that just killed my day, you know that? Saving Seifer!" 

"I suspect it's just temporary brainwashing," said Quistis. "But it depends on how long Seifer stays away from her. I'd recommend we send a 'capture' order out to the squads if the trio turn up again. Let them know to use water, and water-based magic." 

"I for one hope we don't find them," grumbled Zell. 

"You should hope we do," retorted Quistis. "Otherwise, they're probably after Squall and Rinoa. If Alicia is really building a power base to take control of Galbadia, she'd want to take Rinoa's Sorceress powers if she could - or at the very least prevent Rinoa from choosing sides. And what has she done so far? She's taken Rinoa's Knight out of action, forcing Rinoa to stay in one place. And without her Knight, Rinoa risks falling into misuse of her powers. If she does _that_, her influence as Sorceress is finished; everyone in the world would be trying to kill her. And," Quistis finished, "if Rinoa became the world's enemy, then Alicia could kill her, inherit her power, _and_ become the heroine of Galbadia in one fell swoop." 

"That's a lot of ifs, Quistis," said Xu doubtfully. "We can't be sure that's what she's planning." 

Quistis retorted, "It fits all the data we have. Alicia's been a very careful player - we didn't even know her name until recently. She doesn't _have_ to turn Rinoa evil, nor does she _have_ to take Rinoa's powers for her grab to succeed. All she really _has_ to do is keep Rinoa from getting involved - something which otherwise would have been very likely, given that Galbadia is Rinoa's home country. And at that, she has succeeded. Rinoa is in Esthar, and doesn't dare leave. Alicia can build her power here, and show up in Deling City in force. She doesn't know her GF-material kills. She could personally have the powers of every known GF, and only the Sorceress would be strong enough to defeat her." 

"And then we wait a few months, and she's dead of her own experiments," said Zell. "Why are we worrying?" 

Quistis leveled a look of contempt at Zell. "It doesn't _matter_ how long she's in power, Zell," she said. "To take power she'd have to completely overthrow the existing government, which is teetering on the edge of collapse as it is. When she goes, the power vacuum could foment civil war, or even a continent-wide war if Dollet and the other cities on that continent try for a land grab." 

"And if Alicia finds out her GF-stuff kills?" asked Xu. 

"Odine would want to head back to his labs in Esthar, since it would be impossible to do research here, so far from civilization," considered Quistis. "Alicia would go with him - she would be depending on Odine for her life at that point. But we won't know if or when she might find that out." 

"So, what's the plan, then?" asked Zell. "We still don't know where her base is." 

"Keep looking," was all Quistis could say. "We have _got_ to find it. And alert Esthar to the possibility of Odine and Alicia visiting." 

* * * * *

Laguna had entered Odine's lab without any problems, even though it was late at night. He didn't often pull rank on anyone, he'd found that most of Esthar knew him on sight. They seemed to enjoy embarassing him by doing silly things like saluting or bowing. Deep in his heart, Laguna felt that the Presidency was just a job that had to be done, and if he were left alone to do a decent job of it, that was enough. 

The guards at the Lab's entrance had saluted smartly as he passed, which was better than being stopped. But then, the guards weren't Odine's idea. They were Kiros', to make sure just anybody didn't make off with Odine's often-dangerous work. 

He'd told them that the lab was officially closed to everyone, Odine included, pending an investigation. He'd get around to starting an official one when he got back. Right now, the sight of his son's cold, still face was driving Laguna in the direction of Wanting Answers Now. 

Pity Odine had never gotten the hang of basic organizational skills. There were stacks of papers everywhere, on every available flat surface. The only clear spots were near burners. With a sigh, Laguna chose a stack at random and started sifting through it. 

"Hey man, you trying to get yourself killed?" called a familiar voice. Laguna jerked his head up from Odine's papers with a start, realizing by the shift of light in the room that he'd been at this for hours. Kiros was standing in the doorway, dressed in his old combat gear, katal at his side. Reflexively, he caught his old machine gun as his friend tossed it to him. He noted that Ward was there too, similarly garbed with his harpoon at the ready. 

"Where'd you get the idea I'd need this?" asked Laguna, puzzled. "We're in the middle of the capital." 

"One of your son's friends got me up hours before dawn with a damn fine line of reasoning," said Kiros. "Namely, that the lady that did the fun stuff to Squall is just one fact away from coming here, and if she does come here it won't be alone. The President of Esthar would make a good hostage, don't you think?" 

"There's guards outside the door," shrugged Laguna. 

"Man, you are _way_ too trusting," said Kiros. "Those guards are there for show, and you know it. Come on - guard duty on a lab that's usually empty, in the middle of the capital city? Irvine gave me a good rundown on the people with this Alicia - if she shows up here, trust me you're gonna be glad I brought your gun." 

"Like I've had lots of time to go to the range in the last fifteen years," said Laguna absently, but slung the strap of the machine gun over his shoulder to free his hands up. "Well, as long as you two are here, you might as well give me a hand. Rinoa said Odine was responsible for the stuff that's killing Squall - I'm looking for any information he might have left behind on what it is, how he developed it, what we can do about it - anything." Both of his friends heard the urgency in his voice. 

Ward set his harpoon down within easy grabbing reach, and joined Kiros in picking up a stack of papers. 


	20. Breakthrough

# Chapter 19

## Breakthrough

This had to be it. 

Squall's eyes had been glittering with madness throughout the night's dreaming, lurking just on the edge of expression. Rinoa had watched Alicia's smile get progressively wider as the woman watched intently. They had to be near the point where the lock had been made. 

There were no women in the mob now. And it _was_ a mob. It made Rinoa sick to her stomach, the realization that Alicia had had to have freed the entire population of a prison's sex-offender wing to find the men she had turned loose on Squall. And now they were allowed to bring their 'toys' in with them. More than once, blood had trickled from Squall's lips as he bit through them, fighting the scream. Rinoa could sympathize; once or twice she had taken his place, and even ten seconds could be an eternity in those chains, even for her. 

And Alicia was smiling like it was an innocent game of spin-the-bottle. If Rinoa hadn't known this wasn't the real world, she would have blasted Alicia into so much slag, and be damned to the consequences. But it wasn't the real world, so she had better uses for her power. She would watch for the signs that would indicate a place where the scene could be forced forward. So far, this night, there had been none. 

Then a particularly huge and repulsive man had brought what looked to Rinoa to be a private torturer's collection to bear. When she saw him use a few of them, her mouth twisted in disgust and amended that to 'private sexual sadist's collection'. She felt like she might never be clean again, just seeing them, and her heart ached for Squall on the receiving end. She itched to blast them out of existence, call the lightnings down on the whole lot - but knew that if she did Squall would be forced through the whole scene again. Once was surely enough, and more than enough. Being forced to watch was torture enough. But to be on the receiving end. . . 

And Squall screamed. There was nothing of rage in it, only pain and a dreadful acceptance of it as an eternal thing, and the fear of that eternity. 

Rinoa reacted automatically, and blasted the chains around him. Blasted, in fact, every other human being in the room, calling Thundaga down on the lot of them. Unnecessary in terms of what was required to free him, but incredibly satisfying nonetheless. 

The room faded from view. _Everything_ faded from view. 

In the center of a black void, a fully clothed Squall crouched, silently weeping, eyes closed. 

Rinoa said nothing but ran to him, wrapped her arms around him and offered what comfort she could. 

After a while he said, "Raine was right," in a voice gone hoarse with pain and heavy with weariness. "But it was worth it." He leaned back into Rinoa's embrace, stretched out as though to sleep. Gray eyes still haunted but now clear looked up at Rinoa as he whispered, "Don't leave me." 

"I won't," Rinoa said with a smile. "I'll be right here when you wake up. I'll keep the nightmares away, I promise." 

Squall's eyes closed, and he drifted into sleep. 

* * * * * * * * *

"Hey man, c'mere," called Kiros. 

"What's up?" called Laguna from his distant paper-stacked corner of the lab. 

"Think we found something." 

That was all Laguna needed; he'd lost track of how long he'd been searching. In the farther corners of the lab there was no natural light, and no clocks. Odine seemed to think of Time as a distraction. Once or twice, Laguna had simply fallen asleep where he stood or sat, but the moment something woke him up he'd get back to searching. The idea of actually _finding_ something had faded some while back; there was only searching. Hope flared to life as he practically pole-vaulted across the lab to get to the section Kiros and Ward were searching. 

Kiros grinned as he handed Laguna a fat manila folder. "Feast your eyes on that, my man," he said. 

Laguna didn't waste any time doing so, flipping through the store of notations. It was indeed what they had been seeking - research into the nature of Guardian Forces, speculations on how to synthesize the effect. He checked the dates. "Hey, this stuff's pretty old," he said, puzzled. 

"Ward says that's probably because Balamb Garden managed to acquire all the known Guardian forces last year - no research material. If you check, you can see that there's lots of information about Pandemona and Doomtrain; both of them GFs that Odine could've gotten his hands on fairly easily." 

Laguna did that thing, and agreed. "This is good - but we need to know if there's anything more recent. Where'd you find this?" 

"Does it matter?" purred a delicate, feminine voice. All three of them jerked their heads to face the speaker. 

A small, delicately-featured brunette woman of about twenty-four years stood in the doorway, flanked by Professor Odine and a good number of men. She was smiling. "Such...dedication," she smiled. "We've been watching you for...oh, it must be three hours now." 

Kiros and Ward moved to stand protectively next to Laguna, weapons at the ready. But Laguna didn't reach for his gun. He cocked his head to one side, and asked, "Why?" 

Alicia blinked, scrutinizing Laguna's face carefully. "You're...him," she said slowly. "The one in Squall's mind, the one that didn't matter." Her face bloomed into another happy smile. "How delightful, that he should be connected to you, President Loire. When Rinoa dies, I may take him for my Knight after all - he has the blood, if not the training. And with you gone, why he would be a good candidate to rule Esthar, would he not?" 

Laguna didn't let her casual insults bother him; he knew already how little Squall thought of him. "Why were you watching us?" he repeated, waving behind his back for his friends to get under cover. It didn't particularly surprise him when neither one moved. 

Alicia sighed, as though Laguna were a bright student asking a foolish question. "Why should I stop you, when you were doing our work for us?" she asked, and waved her companions to action. 

Laguna and Kiros each grabbed one of Ward's shoulders and leaped behind a sturdy laboratory table, Laguna clutching the manila folder to his chest as though it contained the secrets of the universe. They were just in time, as lightning and wind filled the room. There were cries from Odine of "No fire! No fire!" 

Kiros turned to Laguna and said, "You glad I brought the gun now?" 

* * * * * *

Selphie checked in with Irvine at around 5 a.m.. As usual, Rinoa was in her chair behind Squall's head, arms around his neck and her head pillowed on his shoulder. 

But there were tears on Squall's cheeks, and on Rinoa's. And when Selphie checked the scans, she realized it wasn't coma. It was, at last, sleep. She whirled around and gave a very startled Irvine a hug so fierce it threatened to cut off his circulation. 

"She did it!" Selphie told him. "She got him back! Woohoo, now we're _getting_ somewhere!" Her cheerful grin threatened to take in her ears. 

"Hey, great," said Irvine breathlessly, "but couldja let me _breathe_ so's I can join in the celebrating?" 

Immediately Selphie loosened her hold. "Sorry 'bout that," she said. "It's just - we've almost got this GF-stuff sussed, and now Rinoa's got Squall back, things are looking better all the time. Too bad Sir Laguna missed this, but we do need Odine's notes." 

Selphie practically bounced over to her workstation, and whistled cheerfully as she began her tests. Irvine just shook his head and said, "You don't think they might appreciate a little sleep? Pulling a guy back from the brink of death has gotta take it out of even a Sorceress, you know." 

"She'll be asleep for hours yet," Selphie said unconcernedly. "She's had to use magic to keep herself asleep the past few nights anyway." 

"Yeah, but-" 

"That still leaves me," said a voice gone rough with thirst and disuse. Selphie and Irvine both started guiltily as Squall half-tried to sit up, dislodging Rinoa, keeping the sheets around him. Selphie and Irvine both leaped to assist, but something in Squall's expression stopped them about three feet away. 

"You wouldn't happen to know where my gear is, would you?" he asked in a tone that said he would not like to hear the answer 'no'. 

"Same old Squall," said Irvine with a rueful shake of his head. "Out for days, the minute he wakes up it's back to work. Just a mo, I'll get your stuff. Nice to see ya, by the way," and he hauled Selphie out with him. 

Squall carefully removed the IV and checked himself over. No physical signs remained of his captivity, of course. He remembered Rinoa healing him of that. But he still felt ... unbalanced. Something was out of kilter, and he didn't think simple hunger was the reason. He glanced over at Rinoa, sleeping under her own magic. He didn't trust that pair to knock before entering, so he was pretty much stuck where he was for the present. _They could have put my clothes back on before coming here_, he thought. _It's freezing in here. On second thought, no._ Bad enough Kadowaki had _un_dressed him. She'd probably have needed help to get everything back on, and just _thinking_ of that was enough to make him blush. 

Then it occurred to him to wonder where 'here' was. He'd lost track of time when he re-entered his body, and that had been on the ship. He looked over the room and its equipment. Pretty advanced stuff. 

Which meant Esthar. Wonderful. Half the world away from where he needed to be, if he was going to stop Alicia. 

His thoughts were interrupted by Irvine and Selphie's return, arms laden with his clothes and gear. It looked to have been cleaned and mended or replaced. "Get dressed fast," said Selphie, "'cause we have a lot of catching up to do." 

_I'll bet._ Squall nodded, and waited for them to leave. He wasn't going to worry about Rinoa. She had seen the worst of him there was to see, and she was still in the land of the Sleep spell anyway. He dressed quickly and efficiently, silently relieved at the comfortable weight of the leather. Once dressed, he carefully scooped up Rinoa and laid her on the bed where he had been. There was no telling how long it had been since the ship, and she could use some proper rest. He was just getting her settled when the Sunshine Duo entered the room again. 

"Good to see you looking yourself again," said Selphie with a small smile. "But I'm afraid I've got some bad news for you." 

Squall said nothing, only watched her and waited. He didn't look particularly surprised that there _would_ be bad news, that would be bad enough for them to tell him right off. 

"See, ah," Selphie began, and Irvine moved to stand supportively behind her, "D'you remember what Odine used on you?" 

Squall's eyes narrowed. "Vividly," he said. 

"He wouldn't have given it a name or anything, would he?" Selphie asked uncomfortably. "Said anything to you about it?" 

"No," said Squall, in a tone that said he'd like them to drop the subject. 

But Selphie persisted. "Well, um...the thing is, we think he was trying to give people the powers of the Guardian Forces without the junctioning, you see..." 

If it would help her get to the point, Squall was willing to help her along. "I know it's made me stronger," he said, "and I can use a water attack. What else?" 

"Well," began Selphie, "the thing is, Odine used too much on you. The other stuff he tested on you masked the strength of your system, and he gave you a lot more than he should have. At least, we're hoping he didn't intend this result." 

Squall merely stared at her and waited, using silence like a hole between them. And obligingly, Selphie filled it. "Squall...this stuff's going to kill you if we can't stop it," she said wretchedly. "We think we might be close to finding a counteragent, or at least a slowing agent, but there's no guarantees. I'm gonna need your help." 

Squall looked down at Rinoa, sleeping on the bed. "How long?" he asked. 

"Maybe a few weeks," said Selphie sadly. 

Squall's expression didn't change, but he reached down with one gloved hand and touched Rinoa's cheek. "What do you need me to do?" he asked. Unspoken was the question, _Does Rinoa know?_

"Rinoa knows," Selphie said. "You don't have to tell her. We just need you to be willing to help us with whatever we need. Samples, anything you can remember, stuff like that." 

"Odine never told me anything," Squall said flatly. "But I'll be here if you need me." At least for a while. A few weeks wasn't long, and Alicia had to be stopped. She could have made a small army by now. He blinked, and turned to Irvine. "I know where they are." 

"Latitude Longitude, or area description?" asked Irvine. "Quistis and Xu are down there looking, and they've had run-ins with Seifer and his posse and a whole buncha people hyped up like you. But no luck finding the base." 

"I don't know the coordinates, but it's built into a hillside covered in people-sized boulders. It's maybe a day to a day and a half southwest of a chocobo forest, and two or three days' hike from where you guys picked me up." 

"I'll let 'em know," said Irvine, and didn't bother asking how Squall knew where he had been picked up. Quickly he strode out, heading for the com center. With Selphie busy at her workstation and her tests, Squall was left alone with a sleeping Rinoa. 

He knew beyond question that Rinoa had wanted him to come back. That surety had sustained him throughout the ordeal, the knowing that even though she wouldn't ask, she wanted him to come back. Even though it seemed that he was returning to life for a mere visit rather than the permanent stay he'd had in mind, she'd still wanted him around for that little while. And even though in a few weeks all his efforts might well prove to have been useless, he couldn't say he regretted the choice to come back. 

Slowly he drew off his right glove, and stroked Rinoa's cheek - much as she had done when it had been him on that bed, he realized with an inner smile. No, he did not regret the choice, however brief the stay might be. Things were so much more ... vivid ... while one was alive. 

He wondered whether Rinoa knew what Raine had told him about Griever. He drew his glove back on and picked up Rinoa's book, riffling through the pages, passing the parts that Rinoa had already read aloud and using one finger to bookmark the place she'd left off. What he was looking for was probably near the end. 

_Ah-ha._

_In extremity, and at the Sorceress' discretion, she may call upon her Knight to perform a Joining. The Sorceress must be in physical contact with her Knight at the time, and there must be compatibility between the mind of the Sorceress and the mind of the Knight. [Note: mutual love increases compatibility.] The shape this joining takes is reached by mutual consensus, but is always more powerful than either Sorceress or Knight alone. The Joining may be temporary or permanent, depending on the will and the might of both the Sorceress and the Knight. A Sorceress' Token will increase the duration and/or power of the Joining, if the Sorceress so desires._

Which was, basically, what Raine had told him, but it was reassuring to know it was right. And it explained, at long last, why Seifer really wanted to become a Sorceress' Knight. Seifer was not the sort to take orders gladly - it was the main reason he had never made SeeD - and most of a Knight's role was service to a Sorceress. But if Seifer could gain the trust of a Sorceress, possibly even her love, he could Join with her into a new being more powerful than he could ever become on his own. And with his rather dominating personality, he would be in control of the new being. And if Squall's guess was right, and the being in question was actually a Guardian Force...that would mean being in control of near-godlike power. _Trust Seifer to dream a really _big_ romantic dream,_ Squall thought to himself. 

He wondered how Seifer had felt when Rinoa had become a Sorceress. The girlfriend he had abandoned to become Ultimecia's Knight had taken Ultimecia's power, and Adel's, and Edea's. The only Sorceress in the world, and Seifer had inadvertently made sure he was the one person she would never call on to be her Knight, or call on to Join with her. That she might be willing to do so for Squall, his rival for years, had to add an extra sting to it. 

Squall blinked. That had to be why Seifer was after Rinoa - and Squall himself. He would want them separate so that Rinoa's powers weren't lost to a new GF, and he would want Rinoa to die so that someone more agreeable to choosing Seifer as a Knight would be Sorceress when Rinoa passed on her powers. If Rinoa did Join with Squall, Seifer would have to hope that a new Sorceress was both born very soon, and agreeable to much older men. In other words, his chances would be pretty much shot. 

The answers were all right here, in this dog-eared book Seifer had probably memorized. But this part was near the end, and Rinoa hadn't gotten that far yet. Should he tell her about it, or wait until she reached it on her own? As far as Squall could tell, it wouldn't affect what he and Rinoa would do either way. It just cleared up Seifer's motives some. Enough that Squall didn't worry about being in Esthar; if they stayed put, eventually Seifer would come to them. 

What would Odine's experiments on him do to the joined being, anyway? Would it cure him? Would it kill Rinoa? Would it do nothing at all? Squall riffled through the pages, but there was nothing in the book to cover such an eventuality. That was always the problem with book learning. And Raine had told him all she knew. 

Yet the fact that they had fought Griever in the future indicated that at some point, it was likely to be an experiment they would try. _Only as a last resort_, he told himself. _The risk to Rinoa is too great otherwise, thanks to Odine._ It was always possible that Ultimecia had arisen from a future where Odine had never gotten his hands on either of them. The danger posed by his own condition decided him; he would not mention this to Rinoa unless her life was in danger. He knew, now, how much she cared for him. If he told her, she would risk her own life trying to save his, and that wouldn't do at all. _One of us living is better than both of us dying_, he thought. _And if it comes to dying, well...the life expectancy of a SeeD isn't that long anyway._

He pulled his right glove off to touch Rinoa's face. _At least I will have had this,_ he thought. But this time his gentle caress woke Rinoa, and she smiled with such happiness he found his own face relaxing from its grim expression. 

"Glad to see you up and about," she said happily, sitting up and tossing her legs over the side of the bed. "I don't suppose you might be hungry?" 

Squall blinked. He'd had so much on his mind that he'd completely forgotten it had been days since he'd eaten anything. Hell, by now it might be weeks, but the IV had taken care of nutrition. Before he could finish considering the question, Rinoa grabbed his hand and said, "If you can't remember when you last ate - and the look on your face says you can't - then trust me, you're hungry. C'mon." She looked over her shoulder to where Selphie was working. "You going to need us today?" she asked. 

Selphie looked up from her microscope and checked her notes. "Not 'till this evening at the earliest, I think," she said with a smile. "I'll send Irvine to get you if something comes up, but you two deserve a celebration. Just save some champagne for me, okay?" 

"Gotcha," Rinoa grinned, and dragged a suddenly apprehensive Squall out of the room. 


	21. Revelations

# Chapter 20

## Revelations

"Understood," said Zell into his radio, and switched it off. Turning to Quistis, he said, "We've got coordinates now. Squall woke up, and gave Xu landmarks that let her pinpoint the location. All squads are converging now." 

"Squall's up?" Quistis repeated with a happy smile. "Wonderful. Tell Rinoa I owe her one." 

"I'm sure she knows," said Zell, grinning back. "But I think we can pay 'em back by doing some serious ass-kicking. I'm tired of fighting Alicia's elemental goon squad. Time to make this bitch show SeeD some respect." And he grinned the predatory grin of a wolf. 

Quistis merely snapped her whip in reply, her grin matching Zell's in ferocity. Quickly they relayed Xu's orders to their Estharian squad, and set a bruising pace for the coordinates Xu had sent. 

Of the five hundred Estharian soldiers Laguna had sent, three hundred had survived the battles with Alicia's henchmen. Of the five hundred SeeDs who had volunteered for the mission, four hundred remained. So it was quite a sizeable force that converged on the collection of boulders that masked a tunnel that was far too regular to be natural. Most of the warriors were tired; some had come quite a distance, and most had had to fight powered-up henchmen to arrive at all. But all waited patiently for either attack or Xu's order to advance. Garden had been moved to stand close by as a morale booster; any wounded would know they didn't have to go far for aid. 

Evidently they weren't going to take on so many without the protection of the corridors and doors. No-one emerged. After a few minutes, Xu gave the order to attack - and all seven hundred warriors charged down the tunnel. 

This was Zell's best fighting ground. The close quarters made any sort of gun or edged weapon highly dangerous, as one swing or bullet could go through allies as well as enemies. But every single one of Zell's punches and kicks went exactly where he wanted them to go. Quistis abandoned her whip, since there was no room to swing it, and focused on using her magic to defend them both. Unlike the rest of the SeeDs and soldiers, they had specific orders to reach the laboratory and any contents they could find, before they could be destroyed. 

"This is the _life_", said Zell cheerfully, as he punched one of Alicia's henchmen so hard the man's jaw was pushed into his skull. "Any idea where to look for that lab?" he asked. 

"Rinoa mentioned a really big, empty room," said Quistis, "but she couldn't say whether it was near the lab. She only guesses that it is." 

"Follow the natural slope of the floors then," said Zell as he took out another henchman. "Rooms that big underground either have a lot of support, or they're natural bubbles from old underground lakes and stuff." 

"And when did _you_ start spelunking?" asked Quistis incredulously, but then said, "No, don't tell me. One of your fights with Squall?" 

"Nope, Seifer," said Zell, as he gave a solid right to another henchman. "Got on the bad side of the Disciplinary Committee - and no, I'm _not_ going to tell you why - and ended up hiding out in the caves near Fire Cavern for a while. To satisfy your Squall-curiosity," he continued cheerfully, "it was Squall that eventually _found_ me. Seemed to think I was his responsibility. Since it meant he got Seifer to leave me alone, I wasn't gonna argue." 

Quistis thought about this in between spell castings, and said, "But the Fire Caverns are just that - lava. How would you know about underground lakes?" 

"It's not _all_ lava," was all Zell would say on the matter. "Now, come on - we gotta find that lab. I don't mind telling you stories about Life With Squall, but I'd rather get some new ones at some point." 

"I don't think it's a natural room, from Rinoa's description," said Quistis. "So we probably ought to look for signs of extensive supports." 

Zell jumped up and grabbed hold of a wall's light fixture for a moment before letting go, getting a good view of the local layout over the combatants' heads. "There's narrower corridors that way," he said, pointing. "If you haven't got a better idea, that's where we'll go." 

Quistis nodded, and off they went. 

* * * * * *

To Squall's surprise, the Presidential Palace boasted not a cafeteria but a full-sized restaurant, richly appointed. He slanted a sideways glance at Rinoa; places like this generally went in for fancy dress requirements, and he was in no mood to go hunting such an outfit. But she simply strode up to the maitre-d and gave him their names, and they were immediately shown to a table. 

"You may not like him much, but Laguna's your father and everyone in the Palace knows it," said Rinoa with an impish grin. "Besides, they wouldn't want to offend a Sorceress." 

Squall frowned. This was exactly the sort of place he felt the least comfortable in. "Was this really necessary?" he asked. 

"Actually, yes," said Rinoa unapologetically. "You know as well as I do that your stomach has probably forgotten how to function properly. And this place does wonderful soups." 

"I'm not an invalid," Squall growled, but Rinoa paid it no mind. 

"No, but you were yesterday," said Rinoa, suddenly serious. Squall sighed and ran his hand through his hair. 

"I suppose you'd better tell me what rock Laguna's hiding behind," he said. 

Rinoa replied, "He isn't. He's not here. It's just you and me." 

"Not here? He's the President. Doesn't he have work to do?" 

Rinoa stopped scanning the menu and gave Squall a serious look. "I know you don't like him," she began, "and I understand your reasons. But he can't change the past. Do you know he sneaked into your room while you were...ill...after everyone had gone? He didn't want to disturb the work or get in the way, he just wanted to see you. He wanted to help." 

Squall merely leveled his steely gaze upon her, waiting for her to reach a point. 

"He's gone to Odine's laboratory to see if he can find any notes that might have been left behind regarding...what Odine did to you," Rinoa finished. "I sent him." 

Squall said nothing for a while, then picked up his menu and resignedly began searching for something light on the stomach that could be said to have flavor. He knew he probably owed Laguna an apology, after what Raine had said to him. But he couldn't help feeling resentful. He'd gone seventeen years without knowing who his parents were or whether they were alive, and now he had a father who had to be a top contender for the World's Biggest Moron medal - and who happened to be running the biggest, most powerful nation on the planet. 

Whoever it was that had said ignorance was bliss had been dead on the money. 

They ordered and ate in companionable silence for a while, until Squall absently pulled his jacket tighter around him. Rinoa looked at him curiously; it was a pleasant seventy degrees inside the Palace, and outside it was nearer to ninety. Fall had come to the rest of the world, but Esthar wouldn't cool off for another month yet. 

"Cold?" she asked casually. 

"Yeah," he answered absently. "Feels like it's freezing in here." 

"We can take a walk outside for a while after lunch then if you're up to it." Squall flashed her a glare at the idea he'd be too weak to _walk_. 

"Sure." 

* * * * * *

"Bingo," said Zell. He'd lost a lot of his usual hyperactive bounce in the last hour or two. 

Quistis quickly checked over the racks of vials and sheaves of notes. They seemed to have been abandoned in a great hurry. "Looks like they didn't know it was lethal by the time they fled," she said. "There's all _sorts_ of useful notes here." 

She examined the room carefully while Zell stood guard at the only door. There were carefully labeled vials in neat racks, all glowing with different colors. Quistis unshipped a hard-sided foldable carrying case, and began carefully storing them. Once finished with that, she secured the case at her waist and began examining the notes. Her eyes went wide. "Zell...they experimented on a GF," she breathed. 

Zell gave her a curious look. "Yeah? Makes sense, if they were gonna imitate the powers of GFs." 

"You don't understand," she said. "Garden has all the GFs that are known in the world. For Odine to have a GF..." 

Zell's expression grew sour as he realized what she was getting at. "We've got a traitor in Garden," he said. "Bet it's the same one that was giving Irvine all the grief with the rumor mill, too." 

"Whoever it is, they'd better be gone by the time I get back to Garden," said Quistis seriously. "We'll know who it is as soon as we find the GF. Students have to sign for them personally, or have them assigned. There haven't been any missions before now that required GFs, so it's an assignation." 

"Bet whichever one it is is _really_ peeved," said Zell. 

Quistis nodded. "The sheets say it's in a 'holding cell'. I guess that'd be one of the rooms we passed on the way here, with the locks on the doors. Think you can punch through iron locks, or should I get the lockpicks?" 

Zell didn't react to her tease. "The pieces of crap they use for locks around here I could kick through, no problem. None of the doors have been designed to prevent people getting _in_, Quistis. Every single one's been designed to keep people from getting _out_." 

Quistis considered this, and was surprised to realize Zell was exactly right. "You're just full of surprises, aren't you," she said. 

"Seifer," Zell said by way of explanation. "Trust me, Quistis, when he toasted you that was _nothing_ to what the guy can do if you piss him off. Squall's not the best roommate a guy could ask for, but if you've gotten on Seifer's bad side he's the best defense you can get." 

"Sometime, I think I'm going to want you to make a report," said Quistis. "Technically, Seifer's still a cadet at Garden. If he abused his privileges as head of the Disciplinary Committee, that's a serious offense." 

Zell shook his head. "You think he's an idiot?" he asked. "Seifer never did anything that I could prove in a Garden investigation. It's my word against his, and you know you'd have to be impartial if you were sitting on a Garden investigation board. You're not going to pin anything on him, no matter how much I might like you to. Face it, Quistis - you couldn't even punish him for putting that scar on Squall's face, and _everyone_ knew he did that. He was wearing the matching one, after all." 

Quistis sighed. That was perfectly true, she reflected. And her mild attempt at humiliating Seifer for it had been one of the reasons she'd lost her Instructor's license to begin with. She looked up; they were at the right room. She backed up, to give Zell room to break it in. "This is the one," she said. 

"Right," said Zell. "HiiiYA!" and he let loose a prodigious kick at the door's lock. It burst inward with a crash. 

Inside they found a cowering Carbuncle, making pitiful little squeaks. When it recognized Zell, its little green ears perked up and it immediately hopped onto his shoulder, begging to be junctioned. Zell gave it a pat and obliged, and Carbuncle disappeared. 

"Friend to small helpless creatures everywhere," said Quistis with a smile. "Well, we should be able to look up the assignations when we get back to Garden. I pulled Carbuncle out of the nursery when Squall told Rinoa more than he should have," and here Quistis grimaced, "But I didn't check to see who got it after that." 

"I'm gonna break in the other doors," said Zell. "If they had a GF in here, there's no telling who or what else they've got locked up." 

As it turned out, there was hardly a need to lock the door on the other cell occupants. Most of them had a vacant look in their eyes, and if they moved at all it was to summon feeble magical effects; a tiny flame, a small breeze, an ice crystal the size of a palm. They took blood samples from the ones who didn't resist it, so that Selphie could tell them what had happened. When they left, they left the unfortunates behind. There was still a battle to be won. 

Quistis gathered up every scrap of paper she could find in the lab, just to be sure that nothing important was inadvertently left behind. Arms laden, she nodded to Zell that it was time to go. He concentrated a moment, then called, "Ruby Light!" 

Carbuncle, newly junctioned, appeared right away from a hole in the ground, and meeped cheerfully as it cast Reflect on them. Then it _flooped_ down its extradimensional hole and disappeared. 

Zell laughed. "I think he's glad to be out of there," he said. 

Quistis could only agree. 

The trip out was less hectic than the trip in, but since Quistis couldn't offer any assistance with her arms laden Zell was exhausted by the time they made it back to the surface. Xu was waiting for them. 

"The complex will shortly be secured," she said. "You got what we came for? Good - there's been no sign of Odine, or anyone matching Alicia's description, so this is just the sort of good news the men need to hear. You two get back to Garden and see what you can make of your findings." 

The two SeeDs merely nodded; Quistis was busy thinking, and Zell was too tired to offer his usual cheer. The two took some time to reach Garden, between the weight of the load and the work of the day. 

* * * * * *

Esthar was a city of tall buildings, steel, and other metals that could get unbearably hot in sunshine. Walking outside the Palace, she was not overly surprised to find Squall as strong as ever; the experiments had given him strength and endurance far beyond the norm, even considering he'd been out of action for a few weeks. She _was_ surprised to find him walking around covered neck to toe in fur and leather in ninety degree heat without looking the least bit hot. 

Well. Selphie had said things would change. If his idea of comfortable temperatures was all that had changed, she'd count herself lucky. She still felt a bit uneasy at the possibility of gills. 

Then she noticed that Squall was scanning the people that were nearby, his hand absently resting on Lionheart's hilt. 

"Expecting someone?" she asked. 

Squall nodded, still searching. "Seifer," he said. 

"Why would Seifer come here? How would he know to come here?" asked Rinoa, worried. 

"Seifer wants to kill you," said Squall simply. "Failing that, though, he'll settle for killing me, or separating us." 

Rinoa considered this. "That's a long way from your last opinion; that Seifer wasn't a danger with Ultimecia dead." 

Squall turned to look at her, his expression frighteningly serious. "I know what he wants now," he said. "I didn't then." 

"And what does he want?" Rinoa asked. _Like pulling teeth out of an old lion's mouth_, she thought, irritated. 

But Squall didn't answer, just went back to scanning the crowds as they walked. She noted that he wasn't _quite_ walking beside her. Rather, he was a perfect half-step behind, just enough so that she was always in his field of vision. The Knight's position. Yet the manner in which he moved was all SeeD, the mercenary always looking for danger. 

"Squall..." she began. "When you were...ill...what happened to you?" 

"I was with you," he said simply. "At least, once you found me I was." 

"The whole time?" 

Squall frowned, not wanting to think of it. "From when you found me to when you got on the ship that I suppose took us here," he said. 

Rinoa stopped, so that Squall was forced to stop too. "What happened on the ship?" she asked. 

Squall's pale eyes darkened in remembered pain, but he answered. "You read the part of the book that said a Knight must always be able to touch his Sorceress," he said softly. "And I realized I could reach you, even in eternity. I went...back...to my body and accepted what would come, so that if you tried to reach me I would be there. Raine told me you could break the time-lock, if I could deal with...the chains." 

"That's the second time you've mentioned Raine," said Rinoa. "Where were you?" 

Squall seemed to consider this for a few moments, then said, "Dead, I suppose. Or at least almost dead. Raine called it eternity." 

"Eternity?" 

"Outside time. Raine said that's where the dead go, outside time. I couldn't see or hear any living thing but you, and my own body. You because you're the Sorceress, and me because I was wearing Griever." _Damn_, he thought to himself. _Too much, said too much..._

He was proven right when Rinoa immediately pounced on it, asking, "You know what Griever is now?" 

_Damn._

But he was spared having to tell her, because his eyes had finally caught sight of a familiar pattern; someone with black hair, someone with blond hair, someone with platinum-silver hair. 

Seifer and his posse. 

"They're here," he said, low in his throat. Seifer was looking a bit sunburned, and had foregone his usual white trenchcoat in favor of a white tank-top with his trademark crusader's cross tattooed on his shoulder. For a moment he thought they'd gone unnoticed, but no such luck. 

"Damn, Squall," called Seifer mockingly. "Is there _no_ weather that'll get you out of that jacket?" 

Squall said nothing, but moved from slightly behind Rinoa to slightly in front of her, Lionheart drawn and at the ready, its moonglow blade almost invisible in the afternoon sunlight. The Knight's protective stance. 

It had the desired effect; it made Seifer's expression of mockery twist into one of rage. "You'll never make a Knight," he growled. "Just like _she'll_ never make a Sorceress. Go back to your Garden, SeeD." 

Squall noted Fujin and Raijin moving to stand just behind Seifer, one on each side. None of the three had gone for their weapons as yet. 

Squall sensed more than saw Rinoa's steel-gray Sorceress-wings spread out behind them (why were they still gray?), felt her eyes begin to glow with power. When she spoke, he felt himself moved to speak in unison with her, lips moving without his conscious volition. 

"Go home, Seifer," they said together. "You are not a Knight when your Sorceress dies." 

Seifer's expression of rage froze, became the mask of amused condescension he wore when ready to fight. "You know what?" he said, "You're right." 

All three raised their hands at the same time, but only Fujin and Raijin unleashed their power. Rinoa cast Triple on herself as she and Squall were flung high into the air by Fujin's whirlwind, and noted with surprise that Squall wasn't much hurt by Raijin's lightning strike. She supposed it had to do with them being in midair at the time. Rinoa would have grabbed for Squall, but he rode the whirlwind with an acrobat's ease. While she used her wings to land her gently, he simply flipped out of the artificial tornado and dove headlong for the posse. 

Seifer had drawn Hyperion, and was waiting for him. Gunblade met gunblade, clashed, and Squall used Seifer as an unwilling springboard - doing a perfect backflip and landing about four feet away, gunblade at the ready and facing his foe. 

Rinoa cast Shell, Protect, and Reflect on herself in time to deflect Raijin's thunderbolt, which she aimed at Fujin. 

"Damn pansy-ass dancer," spat Seifer as he slashed and cut with Hyperion. "I'll show you what a _real_ Knight is capable of. Fire Cross!" 

With one hand Seifer cast a sheet of flame, and before it had cleared followed it up with a devastating sweep of Hyperion. But he had used this trick on Squall before, the day they'd each received their scars. Squall slashed out vertically with Lionheart, slicing the flame before it reached him, then jumped back out of Hyperion's range. He moved back into position before Seifer could follow up on the momentary advantage. 

Squall recognized the power of the flame; Alicia's doing, magnifying Seifer's attack. "She has condemned you to death, Seifer," he growled. 

Seifer paid no attention, but continued to fight. However, Fujin and Raijin hesitated. Rinoa noticed, and said, "The artificial GF power kills," as she cast Blizzaga on the posse, holding them in place. The two chose not to break the ice, but merely waited. 

"And just how the hell would you know that, SeeD?" snapped Seifer as he found himself pushed back under Squall's attack. He was getting angry; the power of Ifrit should have made him much stronger than Squall, but still he was being beaten back. A sneaking suspicion rose in his mind as he stared at Squall over their dueling blades. Squall gave him a small nod. When Seifer paused in surprise, Squall swatted Hyperion aside with Lionheart, then threw a punch for Seifer's jaw that was backed by the firehose power of his water strike. Seifer was knocked against a building on the other side of the street, out cold. 

Squall walked over and verified that Seifer was still alive, and not heavily wounded, then picked the larger man up and hauled him over his shoulder. "Because she condemned me, too," he said to the wide eyes of the posse. "If you want to fight, we can fight," he continued, "But time may be short. Come with us if you want to." 

Fujin and Raijin looked at each other, then Raijin said, "We're with you, if you can convince Seifer. That woman gives me the fuckin' _creeps_, ya know?" 

"AGREE," said Fujin simply. 

They put up no resistance as they followed Squall and Rinoa back to the palace, Seifer over Squall's shoulder like a sack of flour. 

* * * * * *

Quistis transmitted scans of all Odine's notes, and chemical formula notations for every GF-substance they had retrieved. She scooped up the return transmissions from Irvine without looking at them and headed for her office. Esthar could wait; she had to find the traitor in Garden. 

Zell checked into the Infirmary first, to verify that yes, he had in fact gone the entire day without picking up a scratch, and yes, he was just tired. He received a chit from Kadowaki giving him permission to order unlimited energy drinks from the Cafeteria for the next 24 hours to replenish lost nutrients. They were better than the usual fare offered, so this was by Garden's way of offering a bonus for a job well done. 

But what _really_ made Zell's day was that - as one of the few to survive the day completely unscathed - he'd made it to the cafeteria in time to snag some hot dogs. _That_ was his idea of incentive. 

He met Bella in the Cafeteria, too. She had her arm in a sling; she'd gone in with everyone else, but her shuriken had been almost useless in the narrow corridors, and using them like daggers she'd gotten her arm struck by one of Alicia's goons. The man's enhanced strength had broken her arm in one strike. He plunked his treasure trove of hot dogs down next to her and began filling her in on the day's events. 

After a while another student asked to sit at their table. Since by now the Cafeteria was filling up with those released from the Infirmary, Zell saw no reason to say no. He waved the boy to a free chair and continued with his graphic retelling of the day's fights. 

When he got to the part about the holding cells, Bella jumped ahead of him. "Which GF did they have?" she asked. "I thought Garden had them all?" 

"Yeah, we do," said Zell. "At least, we did. Somebody stole one." 

"Zell, you are _so_ lucky I came in here before you said which one," interrupted Quistis, with a look of extreme anger on her face. Without warning, she lashed out with her whip and wrapped it around their table-partner's neck, before he could finish drawing the standard-issue pistol at his belt. "Just once, could you save the stirring tales for _after_ the villains are defeated?" 

Zell almost choked on his hot dog. "But...he's a SeeD," he said as Quistis gave her whip a brutal yank, tumbling her asphyxiated target to the floor. 

"Mikhal here was issued Carbuncle four weeks ago when he volunteered to assist in the training of some younger cadets," said Quistis. A mere flick of her wrist wrapped another coil of her whip around the boy's arms. "He's also managed to get assigned com-room duty more often than he should have been in the past month. Which means we have to assume Alicia knows about the side effects of her experiments. She'll be heading for Esthar for certain." 

Quistis yanked on her whip again, tightening its coils about the unfortunate Mikhal. "You're so lucky it's not in the Headmaster's powers to punish traitorous SeeDs," she snapped at Mikhal, but Zell heard a warning in her voice for himself too, and backed off. "Zell, next time - _edit_ your story telling, will you? There's no telling how much damage you might have done if I hadn't been here. Good evening, SeeDs," she said, with all the authority of Garden Headmaster. She gave another yank on her whip, and Mikhal was forced to stand and follow, or be dragged behind her. 

Zell swallowed, mouth gone dry around the suddenly flavorless hot dog. Quistis was right, of course - he shouldn't have assumed someone was safe just because they were SeeD. But that look of lethal fury on her face as she snapped her whip around Mikhal's neck did not bode well for the boy's future. To kill the enemy, that was fine by Zell, no matter who that enemy might turn out to be. But a SeeD...one of their own... 

"I'm sorry," he said to Bella, and the suddenly curious cadets all around. He turned on his heel and left the Cafeteria, two hot dogs left uneaten on his plate behind him. 


	22. Consequences

# 

Chapter 21

## Consequences

"You were supposed to bring me back _champagne_, not a bunch of idiots," grumbled Selphie as they entered the lab. Fujin's good eye narrowed and she brought her chakram up reflexively. 

"SILENCE," she snapped. "ALLIES." 

Squall set Seifer down on the bed. "Alicia's done the same thing to them she did to me, Selphie," he said. "You needed information - well, they have it." 

Selphie's eyebrows went up. "Really?" she asked. "And after you saw what happened to Squall, you let her? Squall, did you know your sleeping friend over there set fire to Quistis?" 

"We didn't have a choice, ya know?" said Raijin miserably. "_We_ got to see what Alicia did to people she didn't like," and here he shot a quick glance at Squall, "and we didn't want that to happen to us. She didn't tell us it was lethal." He frowned. "She told us Squall would have lost his power by now. We were supposed to get Rinoa and bring her back. But I saw him shoot Seifer clear across the street, ya know? She's been lyin' to us. Not that we're surprised. And Seifer...she screwed Seifer's head up bad. He can't be held responsible, ya know?" Raijin's voice was almost pleading. 

Squall simply nodded, giving Selphie a look that said _leave it_. 

Fujin had checked over Seifer to make sure he was going to be all right, then she looked around the lab. "EVIDENCE?" she asked. 

Selphie glanced up. "Oh yeah, forgot you had a sciences background, Fuuj," she said. "Here - you should be able to read this." And she handed Fujin a clipboard. Fujin's silver hair covered her face as she bent her head to read the notations. 

"Seifer didn't know what he was bringin' ya to, Squall," said Raijin suddenly. Squall turned quickly to face him, eyes narrowed. "No really, he didn't. Alicia told him ya were just gonna be held in a cell until after we'd gotten Rinoa. She kept him away, and she made us not tell him. He wouldn't have gone for that - Seifer's got too much honor to resort to that." He grimaced. "Us, she made us look. Said that would be us if we crossed her or told him." 

Squall's expression clearly said what he thought of Seifer's sense of honor. "Don't mention it," he said, meaning it. "We'll help you as much as we can, but Seifer doesn't need to know about...that. You're out of Alicia's grasp now." He paused for a moment, thinking. "What does Alicia want with Rinoa? Not the same thing Seifer has in mind, I think." 

"AGREE," came Fujin's response as she handed Selphie back her clipboard. "PURPOSE, OTHER." 

"Except we don't know what it is," said Raijin. "She only put up with us because Seifer wouldn't stay with her otherwise, ya know? She never told us anything." 

"Well, if you'll just sit still while I get some blood samples," interjected Selphie, "We'll see what we can find out." She drew the samples, then said, "By the way - sorry about before. Rinoa told us about Alicia's power." 

Raijin blushed. "Well, we shoulda realized how it would sound," he said. "And, uh, we're sorry about Quistis. We tried to go easy on 'em, but Seifer'd just left Alicia and he wasn't listening to reason, ya know? Hey, how long is Seifer gonna be out? How hard did ya hit him?" 

Squall looked up from his reading; he'd picked up the copy of _'The Sorceress' Knight'_ to amuse himself. "I don't know," he said. "That's the first time I was actually trying to use it. Not long, I think." 

"Good guess," said Seifer, opening his eyes. "What, you guys volunteer to be lab rats?" he said to Fujin and Raijin. Raijin prepared to argue, but Fujin simply grabbed Selphie's clipboard back and showed it to Seifer. 

"BETRAYED," she told him. "CONDEMNED." 

It took Seifer a little longer to sort through the notations, but when he handed back the clipboard he'd lost some of his swagger. Selphie took it without comment, but turned to Fujin and said, "I could use another hand. Wanna help?" 

Fujin nodded, and Selphie set her to work. 

When Irvine entered the room trailing a printout, he was so surprised he nearly backpedaled into a wall. "Hell-o!" he said. "When did this become the site of the annual Posse convention?" 

"When Squall carried Seifer in like a baby," said Selphie with an evil grin, earning glares from both Seifer and Squall. "Turns out Alicia pumped these three full of glowing goodness too." 

"Well then this is everyone's lucky day," said Irvine. "I've got word from Quistis and Xu that Alicia's underground holding was discovered and captured, thanks to Squall's tip. They didn't get Alicia or Odine, but they _did_ get undiluted samples of all the artificial-GF materials _and_ Odine's latest notes." He sorted through the printouts until he found the one he wanted, then handed it to Selphie with a flourish. "Here ya go," he said. "That's the makeup of the compounds, and a copy of the readable notes." 

"Wonderful!" said Selphie, leaping up and giving Irvine a kiss. "With this we can tell how the stuff changes when exposed to a human body. Thanks, Irvy!" 

"Ooh, my heart is a-flutter," said Irvine, playing the comic lovesick romantic. "It's getting a bit close in here, though, so if there's nothing you want me to send out, I'll get back to the com center." Unspoken but evident was Irvine's opinion of Seifer as being about as fun as a roadkilled skunk. 

Seifer turned to Squall. "Just one question," he said. "How do you _stand_ it?" 

Squall raised his eyebrows, looked over at Raijin and then back to Seifer, but did not reply. "Who do you need here, Selphie?" he asked. 

Selphie checked her lists. "Mmm, you're good to go for now," she said. "I'll need these three for a few more hours yet, and Fujin's help if she's willing to offer it. Come back in, oh, about five hours, 'kay?" 

Squall checked his watch; that would be at around ten o'clock tonight, rather late. But he couldn't argue with Selphie's desire to get things done - time was short. He nodded, and quickly left the room. 

By the time Rinoa caught up to him, he had found a perch next to a wide window that offered a magnificent view of Esthar City in the late afternoon light. He was shaking. 

"What is it?" she asked quietly. 

"I carried him," said Squall, by way of an answer. 

Rinoa thought she understood. "You touched him," she said, and Squall nodded. 

"How can I function this way, Rinoa?" he said. "I did what I had to do, but I wanted nothing more than to throw him as far away from me as I could. And not just because it was Seifer." 

"And yet you _did_ carry him. It will take time," was the only response she had. "All healing takes time." 

"I don't _have_ time," said Squall, shaking his head. "I can feel it. I feel colder and colder...but it isn't cold, is it?" 

"No," said Rinoa sadly. She reached out. "May I?" He looked at her a moment, then nodded. She reached out her hand, and willed her power to heal him. Poured it into him, as though he were a vessel to be filled. When he raised his head, she withdrew her hand. 

"Thank you," he said, and drew her down next to him on his perch, wrapping his arms around her. "I promised myself this," he said quietly into her dark hair. 

"Whenever you need me," was Rinoa's reply. 

They stayed that way, unmoving, as the sun sank into evening and then into night. 

* * * * * * *

As it turned out, there was no set rule on the books for dealing with a traitorous SeeD. Cid and Edea had never foreseen such an event, and the one known case of a rogue hadn't been a SeeD. Seifer and his posse had only been cadets when they left to serve Ultimecia. SeeD was the epitome of Garden's teachings - the best, the brightest, the most loyal, the most well-adjusted. Quistis had been forced to take Mikhal in the very public forum of the Cafeteria, or risk him fleeing. Thus the whole Garden knew that a SeeD had turned against Garden - the one contract everyone believed a SeeD could not be hired to take. 

Quistis had been the most bloodthirsty; Mikhal's actions could very well have placed Squall in danger, and she had very definite views about that. At the very least he had endangered the President of Esthar, for word had been sent that Laguna had gone alone some days ago to Odine's labs and had not been heard from since. In that light, Quistis was in favor of a graphic execution, to make sure no one even _thought_ of trying such a thing again. 

Selphie, radioing in from Esthar, was in favor of turning Seifer and his posse loose on the boy; she believed this would serve as a suitable deterrent to would-be traitors, and offer Seifer a chance to prove his loyalty to Garden. 

But the traitor was a SeeD, not a cadet - and had not committed a crime that affected Garden's cash flow. So the ultimate decision rested on Xu's shoulders. Right then, she regretted giving Squall the 'vacation' she knew he'd needed. No matter what decision she made, a significant portion of Garden would disapprove - she did not carry enough weight with the SeeDs to quiet dissenters, as Squall did. 

As Commander, Xu was junctioned to Eden at all times - both for her safety, and to make sure the holder of the junction was trustworthy. It occurred to her that perhaps the Guardian Forces might have something to say about having one of their own given over to experimentation. 

She tentatively sent a tendril of query to the portion of her mind that Eden claimed. In response, a small-scale manifestation of the mighty Guardian Force materialized before her, simplified as a perfect outline of a sphere dotted with arcane symbols. 

**Where is your enemy?** came Eden's thought/query, sounding curiously echoed. 

"I have none," said Xu, and proceeded - very quickly - to explain the situation. 

**Give him to us,** came Eden's reply, sounding like multiple voices were rolled into one. 

Xu blinked. "Um, how?" she asked. 

**Take him to a public place, and summon us,** came Eden's multiple-voiced reply. Xu couldn't tell if it was referring to itself in a royal 'we', or if it meant summon all the Guardian Forces...and very quickly decided she wasn't going to ask. **We will deter your SeeDs from such a course again.**

"Thank you, Eden," said Xu, and the Guardian Force's manifestation vanished - though she could still feel its presence in the back of her mind. Xu quickly transmitted her intentions to Selphie and to Quistis, and to her surprise both of them thought it was a very fitting punishment. 

The next morning, every person in Garden was summoned to the Quad to witness the punishment of Mikhal - the only exception being Zell, who had disappeared with Carbuncle. Xu and fourteen other SeeDs, Quistis among them, stood in a line, each junctioned to a Guardian Force. When everyone was settled, each called on that Guardian, and bade them attack Mikhal, who was standing handcuffed in a roped-off space. 

There should have been chaos, as each GF tried to pull Mikhal into its own no-place. But there was not. Each Guardian Force appeared _by itself_, forsaking its usual surroundings, and the horde tore the hapless SeeD limb from limb. Then each Guardian Force simply faded from view. 

There was complete silence for a moment. Not a drop of blood remained to show where Mikhal had been, but Quistis for one was going to think twice before she next summoned Alexander. She suspected that similar thoughts were ranging through the crowd. As soon as Xu gave the signal to disperse, they did so. In complete silence. 

"Well, if _that_ doesn't discourage our students from experimenting on GFs, I don't think anything will," said Quistis mildly. "How did you think of it?" 

Xu was still staring at the roped-off space. "I asked Eden what I should do," she said slowly. "After all, he betrayed SeeD by handing over a GF for experimentation." 

"GFs answer questions?" said Quistis, surprised. "Remind me to try that next time someone summons Shiva in the girls' shower room." 

Xu turned a serious gaze on Quistis. "I don't think I'm going to recommend we junction GFs on missions until I've learned more about them," she said. "I never believed before now that they led such completely different lives from ours. But they were _angry_ at Mikhal." 

"Wouldn't you be?" asked Quistis reasonably. 

* * * * * *

Laguna turned to Kiros and said, "This is getting bad." 

Kiros gave his old friend a look that said, _gee, ya think?_ but said, "Look man, we've got a good position here, handy food, water, toilet facilities, only one door to defend...we can hold out until help comes." 

"Yeah, but...a _cafeteria_...I mean, I didn't even know Odine _had_ a cafeteria in here. Even if it is a pretty dinky one." 

Which was putting it mildly. The room was about fifteen feet square, with a single toilet, sink, and vending machine. The three of them had been holed up in it for - well, they weren't sure exactly how long, but long enough to give them all a bad case of cabin fever. 

Kiros blew out a long breath; they'd covered this ground before. "It was your idea to come here alone in the middle of the night," he said at last. "If we'd left you here, you'd be dead or worse by now, and they'd have what they came for. At least now we can sleep in shifts." 

"How long did you tell them to wait if they didn't hear from you?" Laguna asked. "Not that I'm complaining," he said quickly. "Wish I'd thought of it. But...days?" 

"Everyone knows the state Odine keeps his labs in, my man," sighed Kiros. "I said two days 'cause I thought it'd take us that long to unearth a phone." 

Laguna was forced to admit that that had been a reasonable assumption. He checked the condition of the folder reflexively; when it wasn't his turn to Defend the Door, he spent as much time as he could trying to memorize the contents. There was no way to know how valuable the packet truly was until he could get it to Selphie, but he didn't want to risk it. "I'm glad they haven't left," he said suddenly. 

Kiros turned to stare at him. "You developing a taste for month-old cheesy crackers?" he asked. 

Laguna laughed. "No way," he said, glad for a reason to smile. "But if they _leave_, that means they've found what they were looking for. As long as they're here, we can be pretty sure that _this_ is what they're looking for." And he tapped the folder. "Which makes it what _we_ were looking for, too." 

"You know, some year you might just prove you're as smart as you claimed you were seventeen years ago," said Kiros with a grin. 

Laguna laughed again. "_Nobody_'s as smart as I claimed to be back then," he said. "I'm surprised you two didn't shoot me." 

Ward rumbled, and Laguna grimaced in embarrassment while Kiros laughed. "He's right, you know, man," said Kiros. "It'd be a waste of time to shoot someone who was doin' such a good job of it all on his own." 

"I heard you, I heard you!" groaned Laguna. Then a huge wind battered at the flimsy cafeteria door, and he looked over at Kiros. "Wind attack," he said. "Makes it your turn, Kiros." 

Kiros drew his katal and lined himself up with the doorjamb. "Back in a few," he said. "Cover me if you can." 


	23. Readjustment

# Chapter 22

## Readjustment

"That should do it," said Selphie, putting a cap on the vial she was holding. 

The whole group was on hand for this. After analyzing the notes taken from Alicia's complex, and the differences between the four people affected, Fujin and Selphie had been surprisingly quick in formulating a counteragent. 

"Who wants to go first?" she said cheerily, holding up a syringe. 

Seifer and Squall shared a look, then Seifer said, "I will. So you chickens know it's all okay." 

Rinoa glanced curiously over at Squall, and read his reason in his eyes. _Raijin and Fujin need Seifer._ The bond between them was growing clearer all the time, it seemed. 

"There's no telling if this is gonna hurt," warned Selphie. "Odine doesn't make notations like that. So be ready to hang onto something, okay?" 

"Just do it," snarled Seifer. 

Selphie nodded and emptied the syringe into Seifer's shoulder. He took a deep breath to steady himself, then casually sat down on the bed, gripping the sheets in one white-knuckled hand. "You can...note that it hurts, Selphie," he gritted, but refused to cry out or give in. He was the leader; leaders didn't do that. Especially not when their troops are anxiously watching their every move, as Fujin and Raijin were doing. After a few minutes of the terse silence, Seifer took a deep breath and relaxed. "It's okay guys," he said. "It won't kill you." 

Selphie nodded. "Ordinarily I'd wait until we know for sure it works, but Fujin's double checked my figures and I don't think we can risk waiting. Who's next?" 

It turned out to be Raijin, who did his best to bear it the way Seifer had, but ended up fainting - much to Irvine's private amusement. He muttered something about a bet with Zell on the matter. Fujin simply laid down on the bed when her turn came. 

Squall removed his jacket and gloves so that Selphie could reach his shoulder, but knew before the injection that it was probably too late for him. There was a faint bluish tint to his skin now, and as far as he was concerned the temperature in the room was freezing. But he took his medicine along with the others, and quickly replaced his jacket and gloves. 

The injection felt like liquid heat, which given his current views on the temperature felt wonderful. He wondered why it didn't hurt him the way it had the others. 

They noticed it too. "You _did_ give him the same thing as the rest of us, right?" warned Seifer. 

But Fujin stopped any argument by saying, "SAME." 

Selphie looked concerned, but Squall noted she didn't seem surprised. "They weren't given as much as you were, comparatively speaking," she said, "and they hadn't had it as long. When I did the tests, they were just beginning to bond with the material. The counteragent prevented the material reaching a high enough bonding percentage to achieve permanency. I was hoping it would undo some of the mergence you've had, Squall...but if it didn't hurt at all then it probably didn't do anything but slow it down. I'll take a sample in about half an hour to be sure, if you don't mind." 

"You mean, he's still got that water-punch?" asked Raijin. 

Seifer drawled, "It's gonna kill him, Raij, I wouldn't bother getting jealous." 

Rinoa snapped a furious glare at Seifer, but Squall left the room without saying a word. She would have followed, but to her surprise Seifer stopped her. "You aren't going to make him feel better chasing after him like that," he said simply, brutally. "He'll take from me what he won't take from anyone else, and he needs to hear some things. I'll be back." And Seifer strode out the door. 

"I wouldn't go after him, Rinoa," said Selphie. "Wait till Squall kicks his ass first, _then_ go. They don't go in for witnesses when they fight. Zell warned me about this." 

* * * * * *

The Presidential Palace was the tallest building in Esthar, and Seifer found Squall on the roof. The weather had hardly cooled from its earlier baking heat, though it was now well into the night, but Squall kept his gloves and jacket on and didn't seem the least bit hot. He whirled when he heard Seifer's bootsteps, fists half-raised. 

"Gonna blow me off the building, Squall?" said Seifer. "I don't think so. If you were gonna do that, you'd have done it before." 

"Go away, Seifer," said Squall, almost as if it were an order. 

"Nope, don't think so," grinned Seifer, taking a seat on a handy air-conditioning unit. "I'm not one of your SeeDs that you can order around, or Rinoa for you to make eyes at. And if you blow me off the building you're gonna have your hands full with Fujin and Raijin. And you might be able to outfight me with your fancy powers but that wouldn't be a _fair_ fight, so you and I both know it wouldn't matter." 

The only noticeable effect this had on Squall was that he lowered his hands and turned away, apparently intent on ignoring Seifer until he went away. In the darkness Squall was almost a shadow, lost amid the other shadows but for the pale sheen of his face, watching the city below, and the fur on his jacket's collar. 

"You know what it is the Knights can do, don't you," said Seifer. "That little voice-trick you did with Rinoa earlier, the looks you've shared with her. You've brought the bond to life. How did you find out?" 

Squall was not about to tell Seifer about his ordeal, but there was another answer that was just as true. "The book," he said. 

Seifer nodded. "You know," he said in a tone that was half-thoughtful, half-angry, "there are days when I just wanna kick your ass clear across the country. You never dreamed of anything in Garden, never wanted anything that I could tell other than to be a SeeD. You never went on a date, read a book that wasn't on a course curriculum, went anywhere by your own choice other than the Training Center." He stood up and began to pace, filled with pent-up energy. 

"And then you find out about _my_ dream, to be the Sorceress' Knight, to be a great leader...and you make my dream _yours_. You become the Sorceress' Knight and the Commander of Garden, you find a father who just _happens_ to run the most powerful nation on the planet, and you become the savior of the world to boot. You know, if it weren't for the fact I just lost my new toy, I think I probably _would_ kick your ass. You certainly deserve it." 

Squall merely turned and looked at him, his whole stance saying, _You could try._ But he said nothing. 

"Raijin and Fujin...they've filled me in on a lot of things while you were off necking with Rinoa," Seifer continued. At the sudden flash of anger on Squall's face, he quickly clarified, "Not everything. They seem to figure we owe you one for warning us, and that's their payback. But I don't need 'em to tell me things for me to know 'em. You're walking wounded, Squall," he said. "I saw people with your eyes in the D-District prison, when I was under Ultimecia's spell." 

Squall's posture shifted slightly, just enough that a fighting stance was only a half-second away. Seifer noticed it, and grinned wolfishly. "You might be able to kill me now, Squall," he said with just a hint of mockery in his voice, as though he knew very well Squall wouldn't try, "but don't you ever assume I'm less intelligent than you are. You know as well as I do that it isn't strength that wins a gunblade fight. She did something to you, besides give you that water-strike, and since I managed to tick her off once or twice I can make a few guesses at what it was. You're not going to move on until you've paid her back. Some pain is like that." 

Seifer noticed that Squall was just perceptibly trembling, with rage or with something else. Whatever it was, it was taking all of Squall's legendary self-control to keep it from expression. Since he really didn't want to fight Squall given his current enhancements, Seifer opted in a rare moment of tact to drop the subject. 

"Alicia...she's something else," he mused instead. "But the thing about her is, the farther away you get, the clearer you think. It took us quite a while to find you, lucky for you. I don't plan on getting within arm's reach of her again, so she's all yours. Soon's your friends give us a clean bill of health, we're dropping off the map." When Squall cocked his head to one side, eyes narrowed, Seifer continued, "Actually, they want to go back to Garden." 

This garnered a response. "I'm not Commander of Garden," said Squall. "Xu is." 

"Don't give me that crap," snapped Seifer. "You command Garden no matter _who_ holds the title. Xu would kiss your boots if you asked. You think Garden would be invading underground fortresses and making alliances with Esthar if the SeeD Alicia took hadn't been _you_? I'm willing to make you a deal. Let us return to Garden, and I'll swear off Rinoa, and you as long as you're her Knight. Fighting practice aside, of course," he finished with a smirk. 

When Squall didn't answer, Seifer growled, "Hyne damn it, Squall, you've taken my dream. The least you can do is give me yours." 

Squall studied Seifer's face. The man was beaten, and knew it, but if there was a common point between them it was understanding the dictates of pride. This was as close as Seifer could ever come to admitting defeat. "...I never wanted your dream, Seifer," said Squall quietly. "Only Rinoa." 

"And doesn't that just make me feel all warm and tingly," said Seifer sourly. "Do we have a deal or don't we?" 

Squall considered it so long that Seifer was just about to give up and head back downstairs when he said, "One condition." 

"Yes, O loquacious one?" said Seifer, as though granting a huge favor. 

"I will ask you one favor, sometime in the future. You will do it, no questions asked." 

Seifer's eyes narrowed. "If that's an invitation to go to bed with you, you can forget it," he said. 

Squall's expressionless mask twisted into an expression of disgust. "It won't be," he said, in a tone that said such an idea had been literally the last thing on his mind. "Nothing that would compromise the honor of a SeeD, or a Knight for that matter. One favor. That's all." 

It was Seifer's turn to consider. "Done," he said at last. He knew from long experience not to try shaking on it so he simply nodded, as one does to an equal. Squall nodded back, and Seifer turned to go back to the others. 

Squall simply waited, watching the city. He enjoyed being alone, right now needed to be alone, but he had grown to understand his friends well enough to know that they weren't going to leave him alone. Seifer had managed to say something they were all thinking but hadn't dared to say, and Squall rather expected that one by one they'd all be up here apologizing for thinking it. In a way, it made Seifer and his posse soothing; they wouldn't try anything of the sort. In some respects, Seifer understood him better than anyone, possibly better than even Rinoa did. He wondered how Seifer would feel to know that Squall had already left a message for Irvine to send to Xu, asking for exactly what Seifer had requested. _Probably annoyed,_ Squall thought, _to know that I can anticipate him as well as he anticipates me._

He felt her presence before hearing it, like a warm blanket around his cold shoulders. Something in her drove back the Leviathan-effect, made him warm again just for a little while. He needed that badly; the longer he was away from her, the cooler he felt. He wondered whether he would end up freezing to death; the ocean couldn't freeze over, but if you were in it too long... 

Rinoa had grown to understand him too, it seemed - once on the rooftop, she cast Aero on a handy toolshed and used it to block the doorway. No more visitors. 

"Seifer didn't look damaged," she said by way of an opening. "To hear Selphie talk, he should have been covered in slashes and bleeding his way down the corridors." 

"Maybe a year ago, he would have," Squall said equably. "Though it would have been just as likely to see _me_ doing the bleeding." 

"Are you no longer rivals, then?" asked Rinoa, moving to put her arms around him. 

Squall considered this. "...If I live through this, yes, we probably would be," he said at last. "Otherwise, no. I think there's a truce on until it's decided." 

Rinoa looked at him. "Until it's decided? Whether you live or not? You're taking this incredibly well, you know. _I'm_ not happy about it." 

Squall shrugged. "I've gotten to see what's on the other side," he said. "And you're still there, and you can still hear me, and I can hear you. There is nothing unknown to fear....and I knew when I joined SeeD that it wasn't a job where people retired." 

"And there is nothing you would regret?" Rinoa asked curiously. 

To her surprise, Squall had an immediate response. "I would regret not being able to touch you," he said. "I saw you crying, in Kadowaki's office, and on the floor of the Infirmary. It hurt, that I could see you and hear you crying, and could do nothing." 

Rinoa considered this. "I didn't think I'd ever hear you saying something like that," she said. 

"...If I had seventy years to get around to it, you probably still wouldn't," said Squall honestly. "But I think Selphie's estimates are on the generous side." He could _feel_ the chill seeping into his body, his mouth already cold enough that the humidity of Estharian September filled each intaken breath with fog. 

"Since you're being so determinedly morbid," said Rinoa on the brink of tears, "Perhaps you'll tell me what you think I'm going to be doing. Because I certainly don't know..." 

Squall looked at her in surprise. "Live," he said simply, as if there were no other options. 

"Do you think so, Squall? Alone, with no Knight to keep me from becoming another Adel, another Ultimecia? You were only out for a few weeks, and my Sorceress-wings are gray. How long before they're black, with you gone?" 

Squall considered this. It hadn't occurred to him that Rinoa would really need him in that manner. She always struck him as being innocent, a living embodiment of joy and happiness. It was one of the things he found so attractive about her. "What turned them gray?" he asked at last. "I saw that they were gray in the Infirmary, but..." he shrugged. 

It was Rinoa's turn to shudder. "...I wanted to hurt someone," she said. "Not just fight them, to protect someone or defend myself, but _hurt_ someone - cause them pain." She turned Squall's head to face her, forcing him to look her in the eyes. "I wanted to hurt Alicia, because she had hurt you," she said. "I think they're still gray because I can't bring myself to regret wanting to hurt her." 

Squall frowned. He couldn't really regret that, either. But then, he wasn't in danger of becoming a world tyrant for it. If were a choice between becoming Griever, or Rinoa becoming another Adel or Ultimecia, was the choice really so terrible? It would still be Rinoa's choice, at the end. A Knight could not initiate a Joining. He recognized this as rationalization; he would tell her not to avert such an event, but because he now recognized without question that she cared enough for him to want to know. She was, indeed, his price. 

"...There might be another option," he said slowly. 

"To what? You dying? I'm all ears," said Rinoa, and he could tell she meant it. 

Squall drew off his left glove, so that the platinum sheen of Griever was visible on his finger. "This," he said. "Cast Scan on it now, while I'm wearing it." 

Rinoa did so, and her eyes went wide. "Squall, it's a Sorceress' token. How did you know?" 

"Raine told me," said Squall. "She told me where it came from, why I had it...everything. You and I, we could _become_ Griever. It's something only a Sorceress and a Knight together can do. The power stored here would make us stronger than even Eden or Gilgamesh." 

"But...we _killed_ Griever," said Rinoa. "Griever was Ultimecia's GF. We can't become something that would serve her..." 

Squall nodded. "Raine said that time is flexible, that choices made now could prevent Ultimecia ever arising. I wish I knew what those choices were," he said heavily. "But basically...it's not written in stone that if we become Griever, we serve Ultimecia. It's just a possibility, not a guarantee. But I didn't want to tell you, since it _is_ a possibility." 

Rinoa was silent a while, her arms wrapped loosely around him as she thought. "You and I...would be one being," she said slowly. "What effect would the Leviathan have on us?" 

"...That's just it, there's no way to know. It might spread it so thin it'll disintegrate, and I'd be fine. Or there might be so much of it already that it would take over your system too, and we'd both die. I don't think it'd kill a GF, so the only sure way would be to become Griever and _stay_ that way." 

Rinoa thought about that, then said, "If it means I don't lose you, and can't become like Adel...it's not so bad. Since you've been thinking about this, why don't you tell me what you think we could do to not be Ultimecia's servant?" There was a hint of teasing in her voice, that said _of course_ he had been thinking about that. 

There was a smile in Squall's voice if not on his face, as he said, "I think we'd have to join just once, permanently - and use whatever power's in the ring to make us as strong as possible. If we work with Garden, we can grow further from there, just like the other GFs do. And if we stay with Garden, Ultimecia will have to defeat Garden to get us. And defeat _us_ to capture us." 

"But we already know she does that," said Rinoa. "We saw the dead SeeDs at the base of her castle." 

Squall turned to face her. "We don't know that they were _all_ of SeeD," he said. "There might be SeeDs left in the world after Ultimecia is defeated. I hope so, anyway. But think about it; GFs are loyal. If we, as Griever, have been with SeeD _all that time_...how loyal could we be to Ultimecia?" 

"This is all guesswork, Squall," said Rinoa sadly. "For all we know, we could be a truly loyal servant of Ultimecia...with all that power." 

Squall turned back to his view of the city. "Yes," he said. "That's the risk. It's probably as bad as the risk of you turning into another Adel. But...this isn't my choice. This is the Sorceress' choice. All I can tell you is, if you want to try it, I'll do it." 

Rinoa said nothing, and Squall could only hope she was thinking it through carefully. She would know better than he how likely her turning to darkness would be. 

He was, therefore, completely surprised when she took his ungloved hand in hers, and set a kiss in it that filled him with warmth. She smiled at his look of shock. 

"What, you can discuss becoming one being with me, but a more mundane version surprises you?" Rinoa teased gently. "I've waited months for you, Squall, but there aren't months to wait any more. If it is not to be the higher-ranking SeeD inviting a lower-ranking SeeD to join him, then it will be the Sorceress asking her Knight." She paused, and shook her head. "No...that isn't right. I don't want the Commander of SeeD, the Sorceress' Knight, or even the son of the President of Esthar. I just want Squall Leonhart...if he'll have me?" 

Squall stood speechless for a moment, then drew Griever off his finger. He weighed it in his hand for a moment, and put it in his pocket. "I won't have a SeeD," he replied slowly, as though making a vow, "Or the Sorceress, or the daughter of a Galbadian general. But...I will take Rinoa Heartilly, if she offers." 

Rinoa smiled, and drew Squall in for a kiss. 

* * * * * *

Xu entered Quistis' office, where she was examining papers. The Garden was in motion again, heading for Esthar. "Where's Zell?" asked Quistis by way of hello. "He wasn't at the execution, and I haven't seen him since." 

"He asked to be excused, said he didn't think Carbuncle would want to see Mikhal. I gave him permission." Xu cocked her head at Quistis. "I think you were probably harder on him than you should have been. He looked pretty upset. You can probably find him in the Training Center, but you know how worked up he can get. I wouldn't recommend going after him. I'd wait till he comes out on his own." 

Quistis shook her head. "He shouldn't have been talking about something so sensitive, and he knew it," she said. "He knew there was a traitor in Garden, knew that the missing GF would clearly show who it was. All he had to do was keep quiet until we'd tracked the person down. As it was, the traitor was sitting _at Zell's table_, listening to Zell warning him that we knew of his existence and would shortly have his identity. I'd only just learned who it was, and had gone down there to grab a bite and say hi. It was pure luck that I got my whip around Mikhal before Zell blew the whole thing." 

"It was perhaps a mistake to pair you with him," said Xu reflectively. "He reacts impulsively, sometimes - but never with ill will toward anyone. Well, except Seifer." 

"It was a mistake to assign him to look for the lab with me," said Quistis. "He's a great fighter, but his inability to keep his mouth shut has landed us in trouble before. It was Zell's mouth that destroyed Trabia Garden, and nearly this one as well." 

Xu frowned as she thought, and replied, "What would you have me do, then? Set him to watching the youngest cadets? Writing poetry? I note that you have not suggested any severe punishments for Squall, even though in telling Rinoa so much about Garden before she was offered a position in SeeD, he could be charged with treason. Should we summon the GFs to tear Squall apart also?" 

Quistis stepped back, surprised. "No, of course not," she said. "He was out of line speaking to Rinoa, but she's never proven to be a security risk." 

Xu continued, her face implacable as she said, "Quistis, the only real crime for a SeeD is treason. We're mercenaries; there is no leader we will not oppose, no cause we will not uphold, if the client can meet the price we set. The only cause we are obligated to take a stand on is the Sorceress; we exist to make certain she is not a threat. Rinoa is the Sorceress -- exactly how is Squall telling her how we operate not a threat to us?" 

Quistis was taken aback, but couldn't really formulate a reply. Her reasoning was subjective, and she knew it. 

"Quistis...I know Cid had great ideas for Garden at its founding, and we needed that vision to survive Ultimecia. But now we need to survive _to_ Ultimecia, to the day she arises in the future. SeeD must be there to oppose her - and any corrupt sorceress that arises between now and then - and this is our overriding purpose. We must be able to rely on our own. I like Squall, and respect his leadership capabilities the same as every other SeeD in Garden. But that does not change the fact that what he did was treason. His loyalty is not to SeeD, Quistis. It is to Rinoa. Rinoa is the Sorceress. If he can serve as her Knight, and keep her from becoming a threat, I'll forbear punishment. But that doesn't mean I'm going to jump at his whims." 

"I've got a message here from Squall," and Xu dropped a message-sheet in front of Quistis, "saying that he's promised Seifer, Fujin and Raijin that they can return to Garden in exchange for turning coat on Alicia. They're cadets, not SeeDs, but they've still betrayed Garden more than once. Quistis - are you loyal to Garden, or to Squall?" And she turned around and left the office. 

_So that's what she's angry about_, thought Quistis. Xu was one of her Card Club members, and she'd always thought they were friends. But her accusations made Quistis very uncomfortable. _Possibly because there's more than a little truth to them_, she thought sadly. She had been furious with Zell for almost warning off the traitor, but Xu was quite right in pointing out that Squall had done something just as bad as Mikhal not so long ago. Just because Rinoa was an ally of SeeD _now_, it didn't mean things would always be that way. Quistis vividly remembered the first sight of Rinoa's steel-gray wings in the Infirmary, as she demanded the right to tear Alicia apart. 

Thankfully, the threat Alicia presented had united SeeD against her - almost, anyway. Enough SeeDs had seen Squall carried off the Ragnarok that there had been no shortage of volunteers when the request came down to take on her stronghold. Very few people in Garden knew what Squall had done; only Zell, Kadowaki, Selphie, Xu, and Quistis herself. They'd kept it that way - Squall was a hero to most of Garden, and any public accusations would demoralize Garden severely. 

But, what to do about it? Quistis stared at the terse message from Esthar. Seifer, too, had felt himself above the everyday rules of Garden. The difference, from Quistis' viewpoint, was that Seifer broke the rules because he didn't think they should apply to him. Squall had broken the rules for Rinoa. 

Quistis sighed as she realized Xu was right. Whether he admitted it to himself or not, Squall's first loyalty was no longer to SeeD; it was to Rinoa. If she was involved, he could not be relied upon. 

Which left the knotty problem of Quistis' own loyalty. If it came down to it - if Rinoa became the world's enemy, and Squall stayed with her - would she be able to bring herself to fight Squall? She'd spent most of her life at least halfway in love with him. The idea of snapping her whip at his throat, as she'd done to Mikhal... 

No. She realized with a heavy heart that she could not. Xu was right to question her loyalty; if she were truly loyal to SeeD, and to its ideals, she should be able to take Squall's head off with her whip if he sided with an evil Sorceress. Ultimately, Squall held more of her loyalty than SeeD. 

She stared at his message. Perhaps he, too, recognized the threat he might one day pose. For here was her answer - _she_ might not have the heart to fight Squall, but Seifer and his posse would take the job with a smile on their faces and a song in their hearts. And they were strong enough to do it. Not by themselves, perhaps, not yet -- but if she finished their training, made them SeeDs, gave them Guardian Forces...yes. She might dislike Seifer intensely, but both of her loyalties agreed that he should be admitted back into Garden. SeeD would need his skill if Rinoa went to the bad, and Squall had requested it. 

She penned a reply, informing Squall that Garden would welcome Seifer and his posse back into Garden's fold. 


	24. Transformation

# Chapter 23

## Transformation

Irvine was beginning to wonder whether Squall's knowledge of impending death was affecting his judgement. Letting Seifer and his posse back into Garden, all sins forgiven, struck him as an _incredibly_ foolish thing to do. There was no reason at all to believe the trio wouldn't betray Garden yet a third time, as soon as the opportunity arose for them to do so. And while Seifer might lack the formal accolades of a SeeD, he had all of the training. There would be no way for Garden to hold him if he wanted to leave. 

But Irvine wasn't in charge of any part of Garden, thank goodness - and come to think of it, neither was Squall. So it was just a SeeD's request, and hopefully it would be refused. 

_Yeah, right. Xu, Selphie, or Quistis would refuse a request made by Squall. Sure._

He dutifully passed the message on, along with a number of coded messages bearing Squall's privacy-lock, and eventually got his reply; Quistis, as Headmaster, would welcome the return of the posse to Garden's fold. Irvine nearly choked on the triple-strength coffee he was drinking to stay awake when he read it. _Has the whole world gone nuts,_ he wondered, _or is it just me?_

He decided it wasn't just him when he got a private message from Zell. It simply read, _Get me out of here_. So, Zell wasn't happy with the way things were going either. He wondered if it was just Seifer being welcomed back with open arms, or if something else was going on that wasn't being mentioned. Well, it was an easy enough request to accommodate. Seifer and his posse had been checked over by Selphie, and their artificially-created enhancements were definitely on the wane. None of the three wanted to be anywhere near Alicia, so Irvine had requested an Estharian plane to take them to Garden - which would probably 'dock' at a handy cliffside somewhere near Esthar City, when it got close enough. If the posse could take the plane _to_ Garden, Zell could take it _from_ Garden. 

And once Zell was here, probably in a few hours, Irvine would get company _and_ some answers. Comforted by that, Irvine dozed off. 

"Presidential Palace, come in. Come _in_, Palace. Damnit, who's on duty over there?" 

Irvine reached over and depressed the two-way communication switch. "Irvine Kinneas, SeeD, at your service," he said. "It being about five a.m., the tech staff aren't here yet." 

"Irvine, get your friends over here as fast as you can," came the reply. "This is Laguna. I've only got a few minutes - Alicia's here, Odine's here, their goons are here and _been_ here for days, we've been holding her off but we could _really_ use backup. Get whoe-" and the line went dead. 

Irvine knew better than to start shouting into the line for an answer; if Laguna was transmitting on a pirated band, Irvine's responses could give his location away. Instead he waited what seemed a reasonable interval, and when no continuation materialized he grabbed his gun and ran to wake Selphie. 

* * * * * *

A muffled thumping woke them from their sleep. Squall, who had had to re-dress after a while to keep warm, went to investigate while Rinoa got herself attired. If there was one thing you could say in praise of the Presidential Palace, it was that it had the _cleanest_ rooftop either of them had ever seen. Squall had made certain of it, though the window-cleaners might have a fit in a few hours when they saw the grime streaked down the Palace's transparent walls. 

The chill was already seeping back into his body, but Squall found he no longer minded. He had done all that he needed to do, save one thing only. If he could take Alicia down, then whatever else the day might have in store for him - be it death, or life, or merely change - was of no concern to him. He had done what he could. 

The thumping was coming from the toolshed that Rinoa had so artfully placed in front of the stairwell back down into the Palace. Wrapped in the unusual feeling of serenity, the absurdity of someone standing at the top of a staircase trying to _force_ the door open almost made Squall laugh. He could move it, of course. But Rinoa might not yet be dressed, and in any case he was loath for this quiet interlude to end. 

When he came back, Rinoa was attired as she had been the previous night. He jerked a thumb over at the stairway down, and said, "Someone wants you to move the toolshed." 

Rinoa laughed, saying, "We'd probably have been up soon anyway, it's getting awfully bright out." And she used her power to scoot the toolshed back to where it had been when she found it. Immediately the door burst open, and Irvine - who had been trying to force it - tumbled out onto the rooftop. 

"Sorry to interrupt you," he said, "But we received a distress call from Odine's laboratory. Laguna's been trapped in there for days now, and he says Alicia's there, with Odine and a good number of hyped-up underlings. Transmission was cut off midsentence." 

Squall sent a disapproving glance at Rinoa, who looked embarrassed. "I thought he could handle it," she said. "But if Alicia's there, we have got to get him out. She _likes_ what she does to people. Did Kiros and Ward go with him?" 

Irvine snapped, "I got hold of Kiros the morning he disappeared, but I haven't heard from _him_ either. He told me not to worry until they'd been gone two or three days - which would make this morning the earliest I would've worried. But neither of 'em have seen action in a helluva long time - Ward either, if Kiros brought him." 

Unspoken was the assertion that when those three _had_ fought, they had often had the skills of Squall and his companions to draw on, thanks to Ellone's power. Squall sighed at his father's ineptitude, but didn't hesitate. _No one_ deserved the things Alicia could do. And there were Seifer's words to consider: _You're not going to move on until you've paid her back. _"Come on," he said. "Time to get to work." 

* * * * *

Down below, they were surprised to find Zell waiting with Selphie. He didn't look happy. 

"Great to see ya up and about Squall," he said by way of hello, "but next time you want to invite the posse over couldja give me some warning?" He grimaced as he said, "I'm officially on leave now - no _way_ am I gonna be on hand when those three get back into the dorms." 

Squall leveled a tired look at Zell and said, "You're going to have to adjust sometime. We can't let them run around loose." 

"So you think giving them SeeD credentials is gonna help?" asked Zell incredulously. 

But Squall dismissed Zell's concerns with a wave of his hand. "You're going to have to trust me," he said. 

And to this, Zell had no reply. Nor did Selphie and Irvine, who plainly had been counting on Zell to talk Squall out of that particular action. The five friends alerted the President's personal guards that Laguna was being held in Odine's lab, and that no one was to be permitted to leave that building until Laguna was safely back out. The five SeeDs would go in alone, and do whatever had to be done. 

To this, the guards readily agreed; Odine's lab was not the sort of place any soldier felt comfortable going. It was the not knowing whether the fluid in the jar was someone's refreshment or a vial of nitroglycerine that did it. There was a very brief moment where they decided on a leader; as highest-ranking, Selphie would normally have had the job, but the consensus was that this was Squall's fight. Squall frowned. 

"I'm not going as a SeeD," he said suddenly. "I'm going as Rinoa's Knight. Pick someone else." 

"You're _what_?" asked Irvine, wide-eyed. 

But Squall was unfazed. "I...need Rinoa to keep on my feet," he admitted at last. "She's been using her magic to hold back the Leviathan. I have to stay by Rinoa. And she's the one Alicia will be after in any case." Only Rinoa heard the declaration behind his words: _I will need to be near you, if we must become Griever._ Spending the night together had deepened the bond almost into telepathy. 

"Guess that makes it me, anyway, then," said Selphie with a grin. "Good for me, I've been looking forward to having some fun." She looked over her shoulder at Irvine, who grinned back. He twirled Exeter cowboy fashion. 

"Lock and load," he said. "Let's kick some ass." 

The five SeeDs ran for the floater that would carry them to the lab. 

* * * * * *

"There, you see how pleasant life can be if we work together?" said Alicia happily. "Now they will come here, and I will not have to make a premature display of my power in Esthar." 

She leaned over Laguna's battered, glassy-eyed face, and gently tucked his long, gray-streaked black bangs behind his ear. "And I didn't even have to use my power to persuade you, did you know that? You are so like Squall, your minds tick over so clearly. You wanted to call for help so very much. I merely let you." 

She stood up, and indicated to the henchmen she'd chosen as Laguna's guards that they should take up their positions. They were more to intimidate Laguna than anything else; he'd been taken down quickly with a lightning bolt to the back, and tied to a chair so firmly his circulation was almost cut off. She patted his still-dazed cheek gently, and headed back to where his companions were still causing trouble. 

There, she pulled about half her men from their assault on the cafeteria, and told them to guard the front door. To Kiros and Ward, she called, "My friends do love to play, gentlemen, and you've given them a grand good time - but don't you think we should call a break now? I should hate to be forced to resort to unpleasantness towards your President; it does so damage delicate negotiations. I will shortly rule Galbadia; do you not think we would be better served using diplomatic channels?" 

"Lady, the only things you're in charge of are Jack and Shit," snapped Kiros from behind a safe post. "And Jack'll be leaving town shortly." He punctuated this with a blindingly-fast Blood Pain, slicing one of her henchmen to bits before leaping back behind his post. 

Alicia clapped her hands delightedly. "Quite impressive, Kiros, for a man your age," she said. Looking around, she smiled at the angry henchmen that remained. "Pity it doesn't seem to bother the others much. Well, if you don't want to talk, I have other matters to attend to. Good luck getting back to your little closet..." and she blew him a kiss and strolled off, delicately avoiding the bloody puddle that had been one of her henchmen. 

Kiros, trapped in a tightening ring of powered-up, pissed-off bouncer-types, raised his katal defensively and hoped like hell Ward could get him out of this... 

* * * * * * *

Squall crouched in front of Rinoa so that she could stand behind him and place her hands on his neck. Zell watched curiously as they both closed their eyes for a moment and went very still, then Squall seemed to relax. When he nodded, Rinoa withdrew her hands. She gave him a worried look. 

_It's getting worse, isn't it,_ she thought at him. 

He raised an eyebrow at her, asking why she was trying mindspeech, but nodded. "By the hour," he said aloud. 

"You two are worse than a cell phone conversation," said Zell. "What was that about?" 

Rinoa said, "The Leviathan effect makes Squall cold. If I touch him, I can use my power to drive it back for a while. But it's having less of an effect as time goes on." 

Squall shot her a look that clearly said what he thought of her sharing his problems with everyone, but Rinoa simply nodded at Zell. "They're your friends too," she said pointedly. 

"We're almost there," Squall replied. He stared at his gloved hands for a moment, then drew off the left one and stuffed it in his jacket pocket. Griever shone in the morning sunlight, but what disturbed him was seeing his fingers looking more and more blue. Rinoa was right; her power was having less and less of an effect. 

When the floater stopped at the lab, everyone bustled off. All around were Estharian cyborg-soldiers, rarely used outside of Esthar and only in very dangerous missions. 

Just how dangerous became evident when they set foot on the walkway to the lab's front doors. A great wind suddenly blew up, and nearly blew them off the walkway - a dangerous thing, since they were a few hundred feet up. 

Rinoa called on her Sorceress' magic, steel-gray wings unfolding toward the sky as Squall stood protectively in front of her, Lionheart drawn and at the ready. She cast a countering Tornado, resulting in still air. The moment she did, Squall raised his left fist and used his water-strike on the doors - blowing them off their hinges. 

This was the cue for the others, who ran for the door under cover of protective gunfire - courtesy of Irvine. 

Two men stepped out, one on either side of the door. Irvine shot at them, but his bullets were deflected by protective magic. He swore as he fished for his AP ammo, while Zell and Selphie charged in. Rinoa and Squall used their distraction to race through the doors. 

A sheet of flame poured out at them, and though Squall quickly swung Lionheart to cut the fire as he had when Seifer attacked him, this was much more powerful. He cried out and fell back - where Rinoa was waiting with a curaga. 

"What, no word of hello?" came a sweetly melodic voice. "And I thought we had grown so close, too." Another sheet of flame roared out, and this time Squall countered with his water-strike. It did not kill the flame, but it did keep it away from him. He winced at the flames' nearness - heat he might need and welcome, but open flame seared unbearably with the Leviathan in his system. 

Alicia stepped into view, more men just visible behind her. In one hand she held a large fireball. "Hello again, my precious moon," she said, as though greeting a lover. 

Squall's mind froze for an instant, the sound of Alicia's gentle voice bringing all of the horrors she had visited upon him out of the cage where he had penned them. He lost sight of where he was, who he was with, who he _was_. In his mind he was in that room again - only there were no chains holding him back. 

As it had been the last time Alicia separated his mind from his body, he reacted automatically. He charged forward, leaving Rinoa's side, Lionheart's glowing blade spinning in a wide circle. 

Alicia simply stepped back, and let her henchmen absorb the fury of the charge. Wind and lightning lanced out at Squall, and he reacted to the one by bending forward, and to the latter by using Lionheart's blade as a deflector. Alicia sent out a water-strike of her own while he was thus occupied, lancing it at Rinoa. 

Rinoa countered with Firaga, and cast Triple on herself. Then she threw Bio at Alicia and the henchmen Squall was currently fighting. The men groaned, and Squall finished them off. But Alicia simply shrugged the spell away. 

"Rinoa, did your father never tell you it is impolite to poison your host? You are a guest in my house." And Alicia made a gesture, as though throwing something. 

Silence. 

Rinoa's powers were useless, now. She raised her Shooting Star defensively, and ran for the nearest doorway. 

Squall, rising from the bodies of the henchmen he'd just taken out, was just about to follow her when Alicia's thoughts invaded his mind. 

_Did you think that because you could walk, you were no longer broken?_ came the gentle words into Squall's thoughts, almost pitying. _Let me show you how wrong that assumption was._

Squall began to tremble as he felt Alicia in his mind, touching the raw place that was the break in his mind - the place he had to avoid even thinking of lest he be drawn into madness. Alicia touched that darkness, and with ruthless strength shoved him into it. 

Squall fell to his knees, hands clutching Lionheart's hilt as its tip bore into the floor, though Squall was not aware of it. Alicia smiled down at him as he trembled, amused that he had fallen into the pose Knights were supposed to use when swearing fealty. She looked up and saw Rinoa watching from her doorway, unable to offer any words of comfort through the silence that bound her, and unable to run to Squall's side when all of her energy was involved in using the Shooting Star to deflect the henchmen's attacks. 

Alicia smiled cheerfully at her. "He never _did_ get around to swearing fealty to you, did he, Rinoa?" she laughed. "Not that he ever would, of course. Even broken, he still has far too much pride. I will enjoy making him my Knight, and I will have him kneel before me and swear fealty in a great parade in Deling City, as the nations of Galbadia and Esthar are joined." 

Rinoa, silenced, could offer no reply. Then she heard a noise behind her. 

Laguna was tied very firmly to a chair, and was just rousing from unconsciousness. Casting a quick, agonized look at Squall kneeling helpless before Alicia, Rinoa backed into the room and shut the door. 

"These guys can _punch_, can't they," he groaned as Rinoa used the edges of her Wishing Star to cut his bonds. "Good thing you guys showed up. They figured it was better to knock me out and keep the two goons mobile." Laguna rubbed his wrists and tried to get the feeling back in his fingers, then looked at Rinoa curiously. "Not very talkative today, are you?" 

Rinoa pursed her lips together in an annoyed look as she pointed at her throat. 

"Oh," said Laguna. "Yeah, I guess she could do that. Where's Squall? Is he okay? I think we found something important but I had to hide it -" he was interrupted by Rinoa stomping her foot and shoving his gun - set on a nearby console - into his hands. She grabbed one arm and all but dragged him to the door. 

When she opened it, the only thing he said was, "Oh." 

It was amazing how fast he moved once he'd been shut up. It was less than a second later that he sent a spray of bullets into the room, just over Squall's kneeling head. Although this did nothing to hurt Alicia, it did annoy her exceedingly. And it took out the henchmen near her. 

Alicia backed away, but her cheerful expression had fallen into one of annoyance. "That was a foolish thing to do, President Loire," she said quietly. She backed away from Squall toward a more defensible position, but as she did so she drew a dagger and threw it with perfect precision into Squall's stomach. Locked in his mental nightmare, Squall did not even flinch, though the wound could prove lethal. 

Laguna moved to go to Squall, but Rinoa held him back - indicating he should stay where he was and cover her instead. Reluctantly, he nodded and started checking around for any signs of his companions, sending sprays of bullets into any grouping of Alicia's henchmen. 

Thus protected, Rinoa ran to Squall. Silenced, she could not heal him - but there was still a chance. Hoping Laguna could keep Alicia and her boys away and busy for a bit, she placed her hands around Squall's neck - the closest bare skin she could reach. 

_I am here,_ she sent to him. _You are not alone._ She could feel the darkness, the fear and pain and hopelessness that echoed through his mind, but she denied it. She used all her strength to send waves of unconditional love to counter it. It did not matter that he needed her help. It did not matter that he had failed to kill Alicia, or free himself of her chains, or reach the flower field. She knew that he loved her whether or not he would say it, and she returned that love completely. 

In the mind, all time is subjective. After a while, the darkness retreated and Squall raised his head, his left hand moving automatically to the dagger in his stomach. 

_One chance,_ Rinoa thought. _Willing to try?_ The question carried a number of nuances and images. 

_Always,_ came the response, edged in an unusual serenity. 

Squall let Rinoa enter his mind, and in a voice that was not wholly his own said, "Esuna." 

Rinoa grinned and stepped back as he wobbled to his feet and in one quick jerk pulled the dagger. "Curaga," she said, and Squall was whole. 

"Have either of you seen Kiros or Ward?" called Laguna from his doorway. Both of them shook their heads, but weren't given time to worry. 

Selphie, Zell, and Irvine burst through the doors, Irvine saying, "All clear outside. Man, where does she _find_ so many idiots?" 

"She's had to have been making henchmen in twenty-four hour shifts," agreed Zell. "Gotta be at least fifty out there, and probably more in here. And that's on top of the little army she had going at her base." 

"Not so many in here," said one tired voice, and Kiros and Ward stepped into view. "She got Laguna this morning, and me 'n' Ward here have been taking her people out left and right ever since to get him back." 

Rinoa moved to heal them; both Kiros and Ward were covered in blood - and no small portion of it their own. "Where _is_ Alicia?" she asked. 

"I'm thinking we're not gonna like the answer to that," said Irvine. "Anyone seen Odine yet?" 

His misgivings were accepted by the others as they realized that no, no one had. 

"Anyone thinking she's probably making more powered-up soldiers?" asked Irvine, in a tone that said 'please prove me wrong'. 

But no one disagreed. 

"You SeeDs are really quite intelligent," said Alicia as she came into view. "I shall have to remember to hire you as my personal bodyguard." She looked to Squall. "And you walk again," she smiled. "Has she hired you, then, and are you under contract? Surely I can outbid her. My family is much stronger than Caraway's." 

"I am bought and paid for," said Squall seriously, much to the surprise of his friends. 

But Alicia cocked her head to one side as she looked at him, and said, "You are, aren't you. Pity you sold yourself so cheaply." 

"You mind telling me what the hell's going on and why we aren't beating this bitch down?" remarked Zell offhandedly, as though he wasn't expecting an answer. 

Alicia did not take kindly to the interruption, and sent a sheet of ice-shrapnel flying at everyone in the room. Rinoa was able to call Reflect on herself, Squall, and Laguna, but Ward, Kiros and the SeeDs hit the floor. 

Squall turned to Kiros and said, "Get him out of here." 

"No," said Laguna. "I'm not going. I'm needed here." 

Squall turned to look at his father, incredulous contempt on his face. "You almost got _killed_ here. You have duties as the President. Get out of here, and leave this to us." But there was a slight slur to his words, as though he couldn't quite get his tongue to work. 

Laguna noticed it. "Damn it, Squall, you're running out of time. We've got to take care of this _now_, and for that you need all the help you can get." He raised his gun and moved to join the SeeDs. Kiros shrugged at Squall, as if to admit defeat, and drew his katal as he followed his friend. Ward didn't even hesitate as he joined them. Alicia was having a hard time holding so many back, but she was managing. 

Rinoa put her hand in Squall's ungloved left one, and started to pour magic into him. But he shook his head. 

"It's not working any more," he said slowly. "Laguna had that much right, at least. You'll need your power to defend yourself, and keep the others alive." 

Before she could stop him, Squall raised Lionheart and charged Alicia, using all of the gifts of strength and speed Leviathan gave him to dodge the ice, the fireballs, and the lightning bolts that Alicia was pouring out. The moment he entered the field of fire, Irvine and Laguna quit shooting. So everyone had a clear view as he dove for Alicia, swinging Lionheart in a stroke that should have taken her head from her shoulders. 

When it did not - failed even to bite into her flesh - it was all Squall could do to leap clear. 

"Foolish mercenaries," chuckled Alicia. "Did you think I would come here unprepared? I have more power than any of you flowing through my veins; even the Sorceress cannot match me. If I had thought you might be a threat, I would not have come at all. I have servants enough." 

"Not any more," said Kiros grimly. 

"These?" Alicia waved a hand at the carnage all around them. "These are not my servants. These are merely hired thugs, used to test our theories once we saw what happened to our pretty test subject." She smiled at Squall. "We knew before you found him that he would die," she said. "And knowing that, we did not pursue. I sent Seifer after him because Seifer wished to go, and we wished to see which might prove the stronger." 

So quickly that her hands were a blur, Alicia used an ice spear to pin Zell to a wall. Kiros, Ward, and Laguna were felled by the forks of a lightning bolt, and Irvine and Selphie keeled over retching when she used Doomtrain's poisons on them. 

"I do not need the powers of the Sorceress on my side to win," she said to Squall and Rinoa. "I wished only to have you out of my way. The people of Galbadia have such _strong_ feelings about Sorceresses. But now I find that my little moon is related to the ruler of Esthar, and I see a new opportunity. I will rule more of the world than any empress since the fall of Centra." 

She smiled, and cast Siren's silencing powers again. "A pity you have to die for that to happen, Rinoa," she said. "You did throw such wonderful parties." 

Squall had been moving back towards Rinoa throughout Alicia's speech, and gave her his hand. 

_What now?  
I'm curious as to who her 'servants' are.  
Do we merge?  
Not yet._

Alicia cocked her head to one side again, as if listening. "Fascinating," she said. "You have learned a way to shut my power out. I would have this studied, if I thought it would matter in half an hour's time." 

She stood back from the door she had been guarding, and visible through it were huge creatures that both Squall and Rinoa remembered vividly. Huge insectoid creatures in colorful pairs. 

Propagators. 

_"These_ are my servants," said Alicia, and disappeared through the door. 

Squall looked around; Irvine and Selphie were gasping, but Selphie had a look of concentration on her face that told Squall those two would soon be fine. Zell was fiercely pounding on the ice-bolt that had him pinned to the wall; probably trying to break it off so that he could slide free. The wound was bad, but Selphie could probably heal him too. Laguna, Kiros and Ward had only been stunned; assuming the Propagators didn't get to them, they'd wake up and be fine. 

Which just left himself and Rinoa. The chill in his limbs was reaching the point of pain; he knew this meant time was very short. He was close to frostbite, and he couldn't trust his grip on Lionheart's hilt to remain firm. Slowly he sheathed the gunblade, watching his hands to be sure he got it secured in its sheath. Once that was done, he met Rinoa's curious stare as he removed his right glove and took her hands into his own frozen ones. 

_If you want to try, it must be now.  
I feel it. Not even hours - enough time to take care of this and get back to the palace?  
I'll have lost the feeling in my hands and feet inside half an hour. If I'm to be any use to you the choice must be made now. The water strike can probably take down the propagators, but I would not be close enough to you to join if it became needed.  
We don't know that the water strike would hurt them, and the others aren't in much shape to help. Yes - it must be now. But not with the ring; not yet._

Squall looked at her curiously, but nodded when he picked up her reasoning. He pulled Griever from his finger and put it in his pocket as Rinoa moved to stand behind him, her arms wrapping around his waist. 

This was surrender, but it was not the yielding to overwhelming pressure that Alicia had forced onto him. It was union far greater than the previous night's exploration, mind and body and soul open to another and melding with it. The ocean-chill of the Leviathan-effect faded into insignificance as Squall became completely aware of Rinoa - everything she thought, felt, knew - and she became aware of him. 

Great indeed must have been the regard that long-dead Sorceress had felt for Leonhart, to wish to share this with him. Squall felt himself surrounded by Rinoa, even as he surrounded her in a wondrous paradox. 

_I didn't know it was your birthday_, came Rinoa's thought. 

_I was supposed to tell you?_ came Squall's amused reply. 

_Here we become a guardian force,_ laughed Rinoa, _and you still have a long way to go understanding being a human._

Squall could not be offended; he knew what Rinoa meant, just as she knew he'd had plenty of reasons for not wanting his friends to know which day was his birthday. 

They looked together out at the world, and saw the world had changed. 

* * * * * *

To those who were conscious at the time, it seemed like Squall looked briefly at the approaching propagators, then sheathed Lionheart as he moved to stand in front of Rinoa. When she put her arms around him, their bodies began to glow until their outlines were lost in the brightness. Everyone saw Rinoa's gray Sorceress-wings grow in size and adjust in shape, as the brightness in the center took on a new form, shifting in utter silence. When the light faded, a huge creature dominated the room. The SeeDs recognized it instantly, and their look of recognition and fear wiped the stunned awe from the faces of Laguna, Kiros and Ward. 

The creature was a leonine humanoid, with heavy gray fur and multiple red horns that formed a natural headdress. On its elbows were natural blood-red swords, its tail tipped in a silvery curved blade as its great hands ended in sharp claws. Its feline mouth split in a wide, sharp-fanged grin as it leaped for the propagators, arm-blades, claws, teeth and tail-blade each doing their share of bloody work. 

Selphie wrenched her eyes away from the carnage and cast Full-Cure on everyone in the room, handing Irvine a Remedy as she downed one herself. Time enough to wonder just what the hell Squall and Rinoa had done when the fight was over and everyone was safe. 

Laguna was watching the leonine beast with an unreadable expression. Kiros placed a hand on his arm, and said, "Whatever they did, they don't need us now. Let's get back before Alicia decides to make personally certain you're dead." 

Laguna thought about it, and nodded slowly. "They might be able to change back, though," he said. "Let's get the folder back to the palace just in case. And I want to make sure Odine doesn't get away with what he's caused." 

"You're sounding smarter all the time, my man," said Kiros as Ward rumbled agreement. The three said their farewells to the SeeDs and limped out of the lab. 

The SeeDs, for their part, weren't entirely sure what they should be doing. Griever was Squall and Rinoa? Their friends were a servant of Ultimecia? Should they help it take on the propagators, or hope it died? 

"We've still gotta take on Alicia," said Zell. "I saw her place in Centra - she's gotta go down." 

"Yeah...but we can't take her," said Irvine slowly. "Squall was stronger and faster than any of us with that Leviathan stuff in him, and he _bounced_ right off her, didn't make a scratch." 

"We can take on the propagators, though," said Selphie. "That'd free...them...to go fight Alicia. And it's not like they're breezing through. If they can take Alicia we want them to do it fast." 

"And then what?" asked Zell. "Do we kill them, too, for being Griever?" There was a bitterness in his voice that the others heard, but didn't understand. "They're fighting propagators and Alicia, and they probably saved our necks doing it. I don't care _who_ they've turned out to be, they're on our side." 

"Leave that till after the enemy's dead," said Irvine. He loaded more Pulse Ammo into Exeter. "Lock and load, people, lock and load." 

The three SeeDs nodded, and leaped into the fray. Griever turned its head when it noticed them fighting the propagators, and made a deep growling noise that might have been a purr. It nodded its head and bounded down the stairs. 

Alicia and Odine were in a small lab, behind a heavy and heavily secured door. Through the observation window, Griever could see Odine working frantically, preparing some sort of compound as Alicia paced. 

Griever tore the door from its hinges, lion-gold eyes flashing in fury as it roared, "Shockwave Pulsar!" in a voice like three voices together. 

* * * * * *

They pulled Odine and Alicia into a no-place, not quite sure how they did it but knowing that they _could_. Mostly the fighting had been left to Squall, who had more extensive training in hand-to-hand than did Rinoa. But as the minutes wore on, a new personality was being forged in the common ground between them, and it was this new personality that took control when Odine and Alicia came into view. 

Squall had been afraid with that numbing fear that Rinoa knew came from being Alicia's prisoner. Wrapped in Rinoa's mind, however, he was not paralyzed. In that moment of fear/comfort, Griever had called on the Shockwave Pulsar, and the two lovers were filled with awe. 

It looked completely different from the Guardian Force's point of view. It was a whole universe. Looking around, they saw themselves _as_ themselves, Squall and Rinoa holding hands. Other pairs were there also, giving the newcomers a friendly wave. Around each pair was a ghostly image of the Guardian Force they were seen as. 

While they were gawking, the Griever-personality blasted Alicia and Odine into charred remnants with Shockwave Pulsar, and returned to the real world - dragging them with it. 

_Well, **that** was interesting.  
Yes,_ came the amused response. _I never would have thought Shiva was an eighty-year-old woman and a teenager.  
Looks don't matter. Love does._

They blinked their eyes and realized the fight was over. Alicia and Odine were char, and their friends were standing in the doorway and on the stairs eyeing them warily, which meant the propagators were destroyed. 

_Do you know how to undo this?  
The same way we did it, I suppose._

Irvine, Selphie, and Zell watched as Griever began to glow, slowly shrinking and re-forming into the familiar shapes of Squall and Rinoa. They staggered, plainly exhausted, but only Zell moved to offer a supporting arm. He steadied them both as Squall put on his ring and his gloves. 

"Cool trick," he said. "You two okay?" 

Rinoa smiled tiredly, but Squall's face looked very carefully blank. "We're fine, Zell," she said. "Both of us." And to this, Squall nodded. 

"No more Leviathan?" said Irvine. "Great! Laguna will be thrilled." 

Squall leveled a look at Irvine that plainly said Laguna could drop off the nearest cliff, and walked tiredly toward the steps leading out. When Zell would have offered support, Rinoa shook her head. "Leave him, Zell," she said sadly. "You have no idea what he's just been through." 

Zell looked at her and replied, "The same thing as you, is my guess," but he dropped the subject. 

It was a very quiet group that made its way back to the Palace. 


	25. Endgame

# Chapter 24

## Endgame

Zell blocked with one arm and threw a straight punch with the other, nailing Squall right in the chest. Squall worked with the strike, using it to launch himself up and back in a stepping flip - nearly catching Zell in the face in the process. Squall landed in a ready position and gave the signal to come ahead. 

Zell shook his head. "We've been at it for hours, man, and I could use a break. Fightin' you is like trying to punch a waterfall - you just keep movin' outta the way." 

Squall grimaced at the water comparison, but nodded and took a seat on the mat, his deep breaths the only sign of his exertion. 

"You sure you wanted a vacation, Squall?" asked Zell curiously. "Seems to me you're missing the Training Center." 

Squall eyed Zell for a moment, then shook his head. "I'm not going back to Garden," he said. 

Zell's eyebrows shot up. "That so," he said. "Then why train? You joining the army or something?" 

Again that silent regard. Zell got the impression that he was being judged, and kept still. It wasn't the first time he'd pushed against Squall's bounds of privacy, and he'd learned over the years that it was worth the effort to win through. After a moment, Squall seemed to make his decision. 

"I need to be as strong as I can be," he said slowly. "Garden...probably wouldn't want that." 

"Don't see why not," Zell said, stretching out on the exercise mat with his hands behind his head. "Wouldn't you be Commander again, now you've got Griever sorted out?" 

"No. If anything, that would be their first reason for mistrusting me. You know why." 

Zell had to admit that this was true. Garden would not want Griever to be strong, knowing that Griever would eventually serve Ultimecia. "But you don't think that's something to worry about?" he asked. 

Squall shook his head. "We...saw things, knew things, as Griever," he said at last. "I think...we can't take what we saw when we fought Ultimecia at face value." 

"Why not just tell Garden what you know, then?" 

Squall considered this, staring fixedly at the mat for a few minutes. "...I don't know that I can trust Garden any more," he said at last. 

This got Zell up, so he could look Squall in the face, eyes narrowed. "Interesting choice of words, coming from you," he said. "You're the one that got Seifer and his posse back in, after all." 

Squall made an exasperated growl. "Seifer may be the only one in that whole place I _can_ count on." 

"Bullshit," said Zell flatly. "There's Quistis, Selphie, Irvine..._me_..." 

But Squall didn't back down. "I can't count on you for some things," he said. "Seifer had no problem telling me the true situation in Garden; I got a full report from him before he'd been there twenty-four hours." 

"And what did the great Ass of the Universe have to tell you that the rest of us wouldn't?" said Zell, getting angry. 

"That there was an execution in Garden for treason," said Squall, "and that Xu would like to make me next. That most of Garden _still_ fears Rinoa, and that they think she's brainwashed me. Not one of you said anything of this to me. But Seifer did." 

Zell sighed. "I was gonna tell you about the execution before you went back," he said heavily. "Why the hell d'you think I'm on leave? Cid would _never_ have let something like that happen. Not to a SeeD, no matter _how_ wrong they were." 

Squall eyed him curiously. "Are you saying you're not going back either?" 

It was Zell's turn to stare off into space for a moment. "I dunno," he said. "I joined SeeD 'cause I wanted to learn to fight. I _like_ to fight. And when it was us against Ultimecia...it was so simple. She was bad, clear through, and we were doin' the world a favor. And stuff like the Timber mission, or taking down Alicia's complex...those were simple too. Everything was simple, SeeD just went after the bad guys. But you didn't see Quistis when she got her whip around the traitor's neck. He was SeeD, man...in uniform, in Garden, _SeeD_. But she had her whip around him like he was just the lowest scum on the planet. Didn't give an inch. And this was _Quistis_. My friend, or at least I thought so. I'm not so sure now. She acted like if I put one toe wrong it'd be _me_ on the business end of her whip." 

Squall listened expressionlessly. He knew Zell had a streak of idealism, even naievete, that had gotten him into trouble before. Zell thought in terms of black and white; you were either an enemy, or you weren't, and things didn't change. But the world of SeeD was a world of the shadows between the poles, where black and white could change at any moment. Quistis was quite possibly the most SeeD of the entire orphanage group; she had reached the position at the youngest age, had been zealous enough to make Instructor before the rest even made SeeD. Squall did not doubt that she would be quite capable of ruthlessness if the situation required it - even against a fellow SeeD. He could not comfort Zell; there was no comfort to offer. 

"What of Selphie and Irvine?" he asked instead. 

Zell shook his head. "I don't know," he said. "We're friends, but they're sorta wrapped up in each other. And Selphie's got her Garden Master duties now anyway. That's not the sort of life I wanted. Just wanted friends to fight beside and go party beside afterward, you know? Who would've thought I could think of the days against Ultimecia as 'the good old days'..." 

Squall considered this. "Do you want me to help?" he asked at last. 

Zell looked at him in surprise. "If you can, sure," he said. "Be nice to have at least one face around I'm not gonna have to worry would stab me in the back. Why - you got an offer? Gonna stay here?" 

Again came that weighing look, as though Squall were judging him. "Probably not," he said at last. "But...perhaps we can help each other." 

Zell nearly yelped. _Squall_, making a request for help? It was unheard of. But he kept his face straight as he said, "Sure, anything I can do. I owe you anyway, from the dorms." 

Squall looked puzzled for a moment, then said, "No, you don't." 

"Sure I do. You kept Seifer off my ass almost the whole time we were cadets." 

"That was different." 

"How? There wasn't a damn thing I could offer you worth what you did. Seifer woulda made my life a living hell - yet another reason to not want to go back." 

Squall shrugged, irritated. "Seifer only got on your case because you let him," he said at last. "You've always let him. He _can_ goad you, so he _does_. It's his way, Zell." 

"Damned irritating way, if you ask me," grumbled Zell. "And I'll just bet he's itching to get back to it if I go back to Garden." 

Squall shook his head. "He'll leave you alone if you leave him alone," he said. "He didn't get to go back to Garden without making a sacrifice." 

Zell eyed Squall curiously. "What'd you do?" 

A wicked smile lurked in Squall's colorless eyes as he said, "I made him promise to fulfil what he thinks is my dream. He's got to be the perfect SeeD, and he's got to be _so_ perfect they make him Commander. And you know how Xu feels about Seifer." 

Zell couldn't help it; he roared with laughter, so that it echoed off the walls of the gym. "Seifer, forced to live by the rulebook! Man, only you could've pulled that off. Look, I've gotta grab me a bite - I'll see you later, all right?" 

Squall nodded, and watched Zell leave, feeling the emptiness fill him again. 

So much, so much had happened in so short a time. Just a few days ago he'd been wandering in eternity, with no way back to life. Just a few weeks ago he'd been hiking across Esthar with Rinoa, and a few weeks before that he'd been wrestling with running Balamb Garden. 

And Griever. He looked down at his bare arms, pulled off the combat gloves he'd worn while training with Zell. Griever shone from his finger, leonine head frozen forever in a silent roar. Squall closed his eyes and took a deep breath, wishing he dared to ask Rinoa to have that unity again. 

So much of his life, Squall had been alone and apart. He'd been alone so long he'd come to accept it as the way his life should be, being apart from others the way he needed to be to survive, relying ultimately only on himself. And then Rinoa had entered his life, gone past the walls he'd erected around himself like they were nothing...and he'd realized he needed her. Loved her, perhaps, though that hardly seemed a word large enough for what he felt. It was as though all the interaction he'd denied himself had been poured into her. 

And that had been enough. More than enough, really. He cared for the others, but not in anything like the same way he cared for Rinoa. Somewhere along the way, the other things in his life had faded to unimportance. It didn't take much reflection to know that there hadn't _been_ much else in his life; Seifer had been uncomfortably accurate on that point. But he hadn't known what he was missing, so he hadn't missed it. 

And now this. Rinoa was so much a part of him now he could sense where she was, a tingling at the edges of his perception. He could vaguely tell how she felt, if she felt it strongly enough. And when they touched, he could hear those thoughts she wished to share. And he knew that she had these same gifts concerning himself. It was enough, and it was not. 

Because when they had Joined, there had been no boundary at all. In Griever, he had known her in every facet of herself, loved everything he saw. And she had seen everything in him, and loved him anyway. A unity beyond anything he had ever dreamed existed or could have imagined he would want. And now it was gone. There was no _reason_ to become Griever now - the Leviathan in his system had been destroyed. And there _was_ a good reason not to; the knowledge that Griever might one day become Ultimecia's. The power stored in the Griever ring had gone unused against the day a permanent melding became necessary, but he knew Rinoa was hoping it never would be. 

Logically, he had to agree with her; the risk was not inconsiderable. And yet...having known that oneness, and having it denied, he fell into a black melancholy. Even the sweetness of their lovemaking was only a temporary reprieve, an echo of the joining they had known and might never know again. 

Rinoa could sense his unhappiness, but she did not have a solution. Or at least, if she did, she had not yet made it known to him. So he took to wandering the Palace alone, or walking the streets of Esthar at night, trying to spare her having to deal with his moods when she could not change them. And when he grew frustrated, he would call on Zell for bouts of 'fighting practice'. Squall delivered a hefty spin-kick to a handy punching bag, and felt the satisfying thump. He launched into a series of punches and kicks, less for the practice than to work out his frustration. 

"Thought I'd find you here," said a voice. "Mind if I join you? The bureaucrats have been murder today." 

In a mental combat mode, Squall spun around to face the intruder in a fighting stance, but stood up straght when he realized it was Laguna. 

"I'll spar with you if you don't mind," said Laguna easily, standing casually. 

"You're in no shape for this," growled Squall, a clear invitation to leave him alone. 

Laguna cocked his head, eyes twinkling. "I know what you think of me, Squall," he said lightly. "But while I haven't been to the range in a while, I do keep busy. C'mon; you look like you could use a moving target, and I'm offering. Don't tell me you haven't wanted to." 

Squall shrugged; if Laguna truly wanted his son to kick his ass, who was he, Squall, to argue? He threw a punch, aiming for Laguna's stomach. Somewhat to his surprise, Laguna blocked it and countered with a snake-swift punch of his own, that Squall barely managed to dodge. Laguna's summer-green eyes narrowed. "I told you, I keep busy." 

_So be it._

Squall was not an expert in hand-to-hand, but he had gained some benefits from being volatile Zell's roommate. The greatest one was his ability to dodge. Laguna was incredibly fast for a man of his age, but Squall was faster. Very few of Laguna's punches struck home. 

Squall was rather surprised that the ones which _did_ strike home were solid. His eyes narrowed; where had Laguna picked up kickboxing? Abandoning any thought of play, Squall focused his concentration and gave himself over to the fight, not surprised to notice that Laguna's face also wore an expression of absolute concentration. 

After some minutes, it became apparent that while Squall was both stronger and faster, Laguna had had a great deal more practice. This was exemplified in the fact that it was Squall who first got thrown to the mat, a result of a double-feint that Squall was unfamilar with. He barely ducked Laguna's finishing strike, and used Laguna's arm to pull himself up - flipping Laguna in the process. 

The older man landed neatly on his feet in a ready stance, and gave Squall the signal to come ahead. 

Several minutes later, Squall was again thrown to the mat. This time he landed hard enough that he was unable to dodge Laguna's punch, and the punch was hard enough to double him over. Laguna stood up and backed off, breathing heavily. 

"Feel better?" came Laguna's words. "I don't know _where_ you think you got your speed from, if it wasn't me. Raine was strong, but she wasn't a fighter - not in that sense, anyway." His eyes were sad, his voice a little wistful. 

Squall forced himself to breathe around the constriction in his gut. Hyne, the man had a right that made Zell look like a baby. And yet...Laguna was right. He _did_ feel better. He eyed Laguna warily; he knew, from Raine, too much to hate him. And Laguna had just wiped the floor with him in a fair fight - something only Zell had been able to do before now. "Where'd you learn to fight like that?" he asked. He certainly hadn't known how in the visits Squall had made to the past. 

Laguna grinned. "Kiros," he said simply. "You do _not_ want to get on Kiros' shit list, I'm telling you. The katal are just decorations the way he fights; his fists are just as nasty without 'em." 

"Maybe he should go against Zell sometime," said Squall. 

Laguna pretended to consider. "Might be fun," he said, then paused. "Squall..." he began. "It's nice having you around the place, even if we don't actually interact in any way...but I'm curious as to why you three haven't gone back to Garden. Not that I'm objecting, mind you." 

Squall reacted at first with a _Why do you care?_ but on consideration realized there was no good reason not to tell him. They _had_ been given all courtesy as guests, and it was a poor guest that tried to stay forever without even asking. 

"Zell is on leave, but if you've got a position open for a bodyguard or something he might be interested," he said at last. "Rinoa and I...don't know where we're going from here." 

Laguna cocked his head at him inquiringly. "This wouldn't have anything to do with the big gray lion in the lab, would it?" 

Squall sighed, beginning to realize that Laguna was nowhere near as stupid as he had thought. Inept, perhaps. But not stupid. "It has everything to do with that," he admitted. 

Laguna nodded as though Squall had just given him the last piece to a puzzle he'd been assembling. "In that case...would you and Rinoa like to join me for dinner tonight?" he asked. At Squall's suddenly wary look, he waved his hands and said, "No obligation. But...I might be able to help. Or at least put you in the way of getting some. And the food's good." 

Squall considered; he was well aware that this might be a prelude to another attempt at a 'talk', which he was by no means ready for, even given what he now understood to be true. But in all honesty, he didn't seem to have anything left to lose. And it would be with Rinoa..."All right," he said at last. 

"Good," Laguna grinned. "Well, I have to get back to work. Thanks for the break, those guys were driving me nuts in there. I'm pretty sure I can get someone to show you the way from your rooms this evening. See ya." And he gave Squall a cheery wave and walked off. 

Squall was alone again, but now he had something to puzzle over. He set out on a walk around Esthar City, the better to be with his thoughts. 

* * * * * * * *

Dinner turned out to be in Laguna's own suites, which had picked up a definite personality stamp over the years he had lived there. The first room was all formal, of course, but everywhere beyond - and there was a bedroom, sitting room, library and a small personal kitchen among other rooms - was simply decorated and almost spartan, with most of the furniture highly functional and showing signs of wear. But there wasn't a single seat that wasn't comfortable. 

Rinoa found the comparison with Squall's tastes highly amusing. She touched his hand (no gloves tonight) and thought, _I see you didn't inherit your mother's taste in decor._

Squall eyed her and sent back, _Raine ran a bar in a tiny village. Other than putting flowers everywhere, she didn't _have_ a decor in mind._

"Hope you don't mind the place," Laguna began casually. "Generally speaking I'm not even supposed to let people _see_ these rooms. The under-ministers threatened to redecorate if I made a habit of inviting people back here." 

"Why?" asked Rinoa, curious. 

Laguna smiled, and Rinoa noticed it was Squall's smile. "Because they think it diminishes the importance of the Presidency," he said. "I told 'em that I needed at least _one_ place where I didn't have to worry about being President. So I got these rooms. You two are the first guests to see 'em. And you're here precisely because I _didn't_ want to worry about being President for a few hours. Kiros and Ward'll keep everyone away tonight." 

"Isn't it something you are, by now?" Squall couldn't help but ask. "You've done it so long." 

Laguna set down his fork and considered the unusual question. "No, Squall," he said. "It's just a job. It's a necessary job, and with Kiros and Ward around I manage okay, but it's not _me_. I'm glad I've done okay, but if I knew someone else I could drop it on, I'd be out of here in a heartbeat." 

"And go where, Laguna?" asked Rinoa. 

Laguna sighed. "I don't know," he said at last. "I'd say Winhill, but I know they'd like to never see me again back there. When I came back after Adel was sealed off and they told me Raine had died..." he trailed off, staring into space sadly for a moment. Then he shook himself. "They made it plain that they didn't want to see me again. The only time they spoke to me was if I was buying supplies that would take me elsewhere. And the people here seemed to like me, and there was a job to do..." he shrugged. "I might head back to Timber," he said at last. "Go back into journalism now Timber's free. But I'm not the one at loose ends here. Where will _you_ go, Rinoa?" he asked. 

"Not back to Garden," she said firmly. "There'd only be trouble. And I don't suppose we can stay here...could _we_ go to Winhill, do you think? It's out of the way, and it'd be nice not to have to worry about the world for a while." 

From Squall she picked up emotions: resignation, puzzlement, confusion. He knew he couldn't go back to Garden, but had no idea whether Winhill was a good idea? 

Laguna considered it. "I don't know," he said at last. "They don't like soldiers much, so even though Squall is Raine's son they might not welcome you. They're fairly simple people, they just want to be left alone." 

_I can sympathize with that,_ came Squall's thought. 

"But as to staying here," Laguna continued, "You could, if you wanted to. We wouldn't mind. Me, Kiros, and Ward, I mean. And we could take care of any problems." 

From Squall, Rinoa felt a wave of confusion, as though Squall were trying to work out what Laguna would gain from such a move. To test that, she asked, "They don't mind my being a Sorceress?" 

Laguna grimaced. "Not unless you tried to take over the country," he said. "Adel was actually pretty well tolerated before she took power, at least according to some of the stories I've heard. Never _liked_, as such, but then Adel was never the nicest person to be around." 

The three ate a while in silence after that, until Laguna took a risk with, "If you're willing to tell me your problems, I might be able to help." 

Squall immediately shut down; Rinoa could sense him emotionally walling himself off, though he behaved as he had before. She sent a wave of love and reassurance at him, advance apology for taking a course she felt was necessary even though she knew he wouldn't like it. 

"We never did tell you about the fight with Ultimecia, did we..." she began. 

Laguna looked at her curiously. "No," he said. "No details, at any rate." 

"Well," she began, "It went like this..." and she detailed the fight, start to finish. 

Laguna sat back in thought, one arm across his chest, and the other hand under his chin. "And this Griever you fought...looks just like the lion you became?" he said at last. 

"Yes," said Rinoa. _Is it all right to tell him what Raine said?_ she asked Squall. 

Squall scowled at her. _Tell him whatever you want to,_ he thought angrily. _I don't see how he can help with this. It's a waste of time._

Rinoa patted his hand softly. _Getting another mind to work on the problem is never a waste of time, Squall,_ she replied. _I miss being with you, too._

Squall's expression shifted to one of surprise, fading into relief. Laguna watched them carefully, but said nothing. 

Rinoa turned back to Laguna and said, "There's more. When Squall was...ill...he was able to speak to Raine, and she said that time is flexible; that it isn't inevitable that we would serve Ultimecia. But we don't know what choices to make to keep that from happening." 

Laguna's green eyes darkened. "Squall...you spoke to Raine?" he said softly, swallowing. "She...can hear us?" 

Squall shook his head. "No. Only Rinoa and me. In all the world, Rinoa and I are the only ones the dead can see. Rinoa because she's a Sorceress. Me because of Griever." 

Laguna latched onto that. "Because of her ring? If I wore it, I could talk to her? Could she talk to me?" 

"You could talk to her and she would hear you, Laguna," said Squall. "But you would not hear her - not clearly at any rate." 

"But you...you can hear her, right?" Laguna asked, almost pleading. "You're wearing Griever, so she hears you. She's got to be watching you. Ask her...ask her if she'll talk to me. Please?" 

Squall was disturbed by the sudden pleading in Laguna's voice, but he could not deny it. He knew exactly what it was to want to speak to someone and be heard, and perhaps Raine would want to speak to Laguna in that emotive language that was all those in eternity could use. She hadn't mentioned it when he was in eternity with her, but then she had been hoping Squall would stay. It would have been counterproductive to ask him to return and lend his ring to Laguna. He nodded, just once. "I'll ask...but don't hope for too much," he said slowly. "I tried to reach Rinoa when I was there, and the results were vague at best." He got up and went to the next room, which turned out to be Laguna's bedroom. It was huge, but sparsely furnished, with a single one-person bed, a nightstand, a reading chair and lamp, and a small bookshelf each seeming lost in its immensity. 

Feeling a bit foolish, he repeated Laguna's request aloud and waited, listening within himself for any hint of a response. To his surprise, he got a clear impression that yes, he should lend Griever to Laguna for a while. He nodded, knowing Raine would see, and returned to the table - to find Laguna and Rinoa had gone to the sitting room. The reason was apparent when he noticed the faded marks in the carpeting where Laguna evidently preferred to do his pacing. 

He pulled Griever from his finger and handed it to Laguna. "She can see you when you're wearing it," he said. "And she will hear anything you say aloud. But you have to listen inside for her answers." 

Laguna closed his hands on the ring. "Squall, for this you can have anything in my power to give," he said gratefully. 

To Rinoa's surprise, Squall had an immediate answer. "Petition SeeD to give you Zell," he said. "Zell doesn't want to leave SeeD, but he doesn't want to return to Garden either. Pay SeeD to get Zell stationed here." 

"Done, and gladly," said Laguna. "Kiros will be thrilled." He looked down at the heavy platinum ring in his palm. "I hate to ask, but...could we talk tomorrow?" he said. "I'll return the ring as soon as you need it...but it's been so long..." 

"It's all right, Laguna," said Rinoa. "Raine will tell you when it's time to return it, or we'll ask. We'll leave you alone now." And she took Squall by the arm and left the room. 

_What'd you say that for?_ came Squall's angry thought. _Raine wanted to talk to him, but she doesn't see time the way we do. He could have it for _years_ if she decides when to return it._

_It will always be a Sorceress' token_ Rinoa said calmly, _Whether or not the battery is drained. He would be as good a keeper as any._

_If the battery is drained, we will need to be junctioned to a fighter to grow in power,_ argued Squall. 

Rinoa looked at him and smiled. "Which is why you want Zell here," she said aloud. "But once junctioned he will not need the ring, and probably should not carry it. True?" 

"True," said Squall with a sigh as they walked. He dared to ask the question that had been preying on him. "Does this mean...you'd be willing to do it again?" 

"Squall...life this way feels as alone for me as it does for you," she said sadly. "Did you think I could know you, all of you, so completely - and then let you go? The more I think about it...the less wrong it feels. We _defeated_ Griever when we fought Ultimecia. So even if we are her servant, it means nothing. And we would be together. There's nothing left for either of us here - Garden doesn't trust us, and anywhere else would assume we're there to conquer the place. There's only Esthar, and only because Laguna's in charge of that." 

She thought for a moment, then continued. "And if Zell is willing to stay here, we'd be junctioned to someone who both needs that protection and likes to fight - we might really grow strong enough to defeat Ultimecia when she arises, before she ever initiates Time Compression. Surely, the risk of becoming her servant balances the chance to save so many lives." 

Squall squeezed her hand, a wave of emotion passing between them that ended in a question. Rinoa looked into his eyes and smiled. They shifted course, heading back to their rooms. 

* * * * * * *

Garden was perfectly agreeable to hiring Zell out to Laguna, and Zell was more than relieved that he would be getting _paid_ to fight, and _paid_ to stay the hell away from Seifer and the rest of Garden. He regarded the idea of a new sparring partner as a bonus. 

"This is the favor I need from you, Zell," he said after handing the good news over. "I...we...need you to be willing to junction Griever." 

"Junction...Griever?" asked Zell. 

"We want Griever to grow as strong as possible, against the day Ultimecia arises," Squall said, refusing to look at Zell. "We're hoping, if we're strong enough, we can avert the future we've seen. You have to make sure your MIA file includes the request that Griever be given to an active SeeD, who will insure that Griever is _always_ junctioned to an active fighter." 

Zell scrubbed his face with his hands, fingers running over the dark tattoos. "Well, I wasn't kidding when I said I owed you one," he said at last. "And you getting me outta Garden...done." 

"Ultimecia won't have us without a fight," said Squall. 

* * * * * *

In the end, the only people on hand were Laguna and Zell. Neither looked happy, but neither was willing to object to the course Squall and Rinoa had chosen. It wasn't suicide...it was just change. 

Laguna returned the ring, and Squall placed it on his left hand, which then held Rinoa's hand. As before, their outlines began to glow - but this time starting with the ring. The brightness became too bright to see the shape merging and shifting within it. When it faded, Griever stood there, now much larger than before. The great lionlike beast knelt before Laguna - still towering over him by about ten feet or so - and held out one huge clawed hand. 

Containing the ring. Solemnly, Laguna took it. Squall had already told him the circumstances under which he was to return the ring to SeeD - but in the meantime, it was his. He slipped it on his finger, just beginning to weep. 

Griever's hand then reached out to Zell, and the leonine head bowed. Zell placed his own hand in the oversized palm, and Griever vanished. Zell blinked a few times and staggered a moment. 

"Whew," he said after a bit. "Bigger kick than Gilgamesh." 

Laguna smiled sadly. "That's Squall for you," he said. "Come on - let's get to work." 


	26. Epilogue

# 

Epilogue

Ultimecia spread her raven-black wings and floated above them. 

"The most powerful GF..." she said, "You shall...SUFFER...! HAHAHA!" 

She waved one hand, trailing particles of magical light that formed into a globe she threw at their feet. From where it sank into the marble floor there rose waves of white energy, and we emerged. We were summoned, so we must appear. 

Of course our friends charged us. They did not know who we were. But then, neither did Ultimecia. She might have the ring, but she did not understand us. We fought as we were bound to do, but we did not unleash our full power. It had been long, very long, but we had not forgotten our friends. We would never forget. 

Ultimecia probably noticed that we weren't fighting with our whole heart. 

"The GF's true power..." came Ultimecia's voice. "Allow me...to show you...! Griever! Make them bleed!" 

We had no choice; we had to obey. We crossed our arms over our chest and roared "Shockwave Pulsar!" in a voice that sounded like three voices together. Thankfully, our Griever-voice drowned out the other two unless you knew what to listen for. And no one in hearing did. 

Rings of white energy surrounded our friends and our earlier selves, forming into globes, pulling them upward into that no-place we drew our power from. In our case, it was in actuality the inside of the Griever-ring, where we slept when we were not needed. We were safe from Ultimecia's prying eyes here, so when we threw the sphere of dark energy at them it was not as strong as it could have been. 

We flew at them, swiped at them with our great claws, but we did not use our tail or the blades on our arms. We were fighting because Ultimecia had our ring, taken in the last SeeD assault on her castle at great cost to her forces, and not because we actually wanted to win. This was just for show. And eventually, our friends and our earlier selves hurt us badly enough that we could justify a retreat. We fell in a flash of pyrotechnic display, roaring in pain and spewing purple light, our Sorceress-half chuckling a little inside at the drama of it all but playing along. But we could not disappear. Ultimecia would not let us quit the field so easily. She compressed us into a dark sphere such as the one from which we had been called - which had been the Griever ring, spun so quickly as to seem a sphere. Sort of like the illusion created when one spins a coin. We floated there a while, pressed by Ultimecia's power. 

"I shall junction myself...Unto Griever!" came Ultimecia's voice. A white sphere appeared beside us, white energy arcs combining with purple. We were not looking forward to this; it would be the hardest part of the whole ordeal. Ultimecia's sphere approached us and joined us, and we were flooded with her malevolent power. Ultimecia distorted our shape to suit herself, which we didn't mind much. It allowed us to concentrate our consciousness in the rear half of the junction. Our Knight-half would have grumbled a bit at the indignity of it, but had to remain silent lest Ultimecia sense the truth of our being. Perforce we allowed the single voice, the Griever-voice, to dominate. In the end, as we had foreseen, we were defeated, and lightning split us in half. We had planned for this, and were in the half that fell into the abyss, leaving Ultimecia to her eventual, inevitable defeat at the hands of our earlier selves and our friends. 

In her junction, she had had to use our ring. Thinking us dead, she had abandoned it. Safely out of sight, with Ultimecia distracted, we re-formed into our proper Griever-shape, and our great claws held the ring. Our lion-gold eyes shifted for a few moments, now sea-gray, now earth-brown, as our great leonine head grinned a wide, fiercely fanged grin. Impulsively, we tossed the platinum ring into the air and caught it again. We spread our great gray wings and took off, heading for the remains of Garden where the few SeeD who survived would have need of us. 

We had survived. 


End file.
